Picture by Diya Samit

INDI A

SINGAPORE

M A L AY S I A

Notion Press Media Pvt Ltd No. 50, Chettiyar Agaram Main Road, Vanagaram, Chennai, Tamil Nadu – 600 095 First Published by Notion Press 2021 Copyright © Jayashree Srivastava 2021 All Rights Reserved. ISBN 978-1-63806-552-4 This book has been published with all efforts taken to make the material error-free after the consent of the author. However, the author and the publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. While every effort has been made to avoid any mistake or omission, this publication is being sold on the condition and understanding that neither the author nor the publishers or printers would be liable in any manner to any person by reason of any mistake or omission in this publication or for any action taken or omitted to be taken or advice rendered or accepted on the basis of this work. For any defect in printing or binding the publishers will be liable only to replace the defective copy by another copy of this work then available.

Dedicated to…… All the wonderful parents and lovely children of the world and my own children Shubham, Pooja, Shivam and Sibo and my grandchildren Aashi, Avni and Ruhi

Thoughts inspired by… Mr. MN Kapur (Padma Shri) an educator of great eminence and former Principal of Modern School, New Delhi and Founder Director of Gyan Bharati School, New Delhi with whom I had the privilege to work and learn from during my formative professional years.

Mr. Kapur believed that every child is a treasure whose potential should be discovered and nurtured.

Contents Preface .............................................................................9 Introduction ...................................................................11 Chapter-1

Parental Love ............................................ 14

Chapter-2

Acceptance ................................................24

Chapter-3

Patience .....................................................34

Chapter-4

Motivation .................................................46

Chapter-5

Structure and Discipline ...........................58

Chapter-6

Bonding with Grandparents ..................... 70

Chapter-7

Building Values and Sound Principles .....80

Chapter-8

Holistic Personality ...................................92

Chapter-9

Handling Stress ....................................... 106

A Note from the Author................................................121 Acknowledgments ....................................................... 123 About the Author ......................................................... 125

Preface The story behind this Book… A number of books and articles have been written on various aspects of Parenting by well-known psychologists, counsellors and parenting coaches. So, the obvious question is why did I choose to write on a genre already so visited? The answer lies in the origin of this book, which I am going to elucidate below. The development of children driven largely by a key focus on their innate talents and skills has been my passion and an integral part of my professional life as a teacher, as an entrepreneur and as a member of national and international forums. I believe that this approach builds more wholesome and successful individuals in comparison to the development style simply based on the broad vision and perspectives of educators, parents or largely accepted societal norms. The subject of ‘child centric’ development of young people is dear to my heart and my thoughts have been widely appreciated, but writing a book had not been on my agenda. This was so until one day while holidaying in San Francisco with my younger son, he said “Why don’t you pen down your thoughts on parenting?” Coming from my son who, according to me, has evolved as a successful and sound

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Preface

individual, my instant thought was that I must have done something right as a parent too and I immediately responded, “Get me a pen and some paper and I will start writing.” The very next day I began penning down my thoughts. Different facets of parenting kept flowing from my mind and within a few weeks, I had conceptualized six to seven aspects that were relevant to the subject. The journey that finally culminated into this book had begun. I began articulating the thoughts that I had concretized in sessions dedicated to parenting at various global conferences and my views, principles and suggestions were greatly appreciated. This gave me additional motivation to convert my views into something more tangible which will be of value to a larger group of parents. Almost three years later, caught in the pandemic trap with reduced professional work and almost zero social interaction, I decided to give my thoughts on parenting the shape of a book. While in the process, I realized that a significant amount of work still remained. Along with the usual typing in, I also required help from artists to illustrate my thoughts and finalize a publisher. The latter part of the project required some focused thinking before I could make the appropriate choices. Finally, my son’s dream and my desire to share my thoughts with all the wonderful parents of the world, along with my own children, is becoming a reality. Welcome to the world of ‘Child-Centric’ parenting!

Introduction Parenting is a multi-faceted task and the challenges faced along the way can be quite intricate. It would be somewhat simplifying the journey of parenthood to capture its vast, varied and unending facets in a few chapters. Yet, simple and practical suggestions accompanied with life-related examples will certainly add value and make parenting more meaningful for you. As I have stated in my preface, this compilation was initiated as a simple endeavor of a mother to share her thoughts, life experiences and some basic facets of parenting with her children. As thoughts unfolded and got interwoven and reinforced by my experiences with thousands of children that I have mentored, it became an earnest desire to influence a larger body of parents. I am confident that after reading the views and suggestions made in this book, the parents will have an enhanced repertoire of ideas to develop the innate potential of their children and prepare them for a happy and valuable life. Through love, acceptance, patience, motivation and induction of an orderly structure with sound values, parents can lay a strong foundation for their children. A well-rounded personality and a set of ethical principles

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Introduction

will provide the necessary confidence to the children as they navigate the journey of life. Brought up in a caring environment, such individuals will, undoubtedly, be assets to our society. The principles embodied in this book provide a broad guideline to support parents across the spectrum. If, as a parent, you choose to further analyze and adjust any view expressed in this book to suit a particular situation, it could be beneficial as you will probably try to reach an optimal solution for your child. It is only when you dig deep that you will find the treasure. Lastly, I would like to elucidate that this book has been written from the perspective of an educator and a parent. It has been written with the broader goal to prepare children as sensitive and successful citizens of the world and does not delve into the specialized insights of a psychologist or a child counselor. My own little gospel, my mantra, embodies my interpretation of some principles for parenting and comes from my core beliefs. Thus emerges the spirit of this book: Invest in your children keeping in mind their innate potential and make yourself truly enriched.

Picture by Diya Samit

Chapter-1 Parental Love

Parental Love

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Parental love is a gift that parents need to utilize effectively to shape the personalities of their children. Shower love and affection to build a secure environment that helps them develop into confident adults. Avoid pampering your children as the marginal utility of your love will diminish with each act of indulgence. Parental Love is the purest form of expression. It is universal, unconditional, limitless and bountiful. It is not a quality that needs to be acquired or developed. It is gifted to all humans, in fact, all species, by the creator of this universe. It is this universality and empowering influence of parental love which, at times, makes it complex and intricate too.

Love and indulgence Sometimes it becomes difficult for parents to draw a line between love and indulgence. Love and affection for our children very often encourage us to shower this treasure in a manner that is not always the best for the kids. Love often transforms into pampering and at this stage, parents need to sit back and ponder about the level, style and amount of love they need to give their children. Anything in excess can be harmful.

Every child is the most important person in a parent’s life and possesses special – but not always evident – talents. If fully nurtured, they can impel the child to make a difference in this world. This book deals with ways to discover the best in a child and gives practical suggestions to prepare your children for life. It discusses the role of parental love, acceptance, patience, motivation, bonding with grandparents, values and principles, holistic personality and ability to handle stress through child-centric parenting. The author has drawn considerable inspiration from her early professional mentoring by Mr. MN Kapur, a Padma Shri awardee, and one of the most eminent personalities in the field of child-centric education whose messages were focused on enabling children to develop their potential to the fullest.

The book comes from Jayashree Srivastava – a Fulbright scholar, an educator for 30 years, mother to two sons and an entrepreneur for the past 10 years. Her focus in all of her professional roles has been on preparing young people for life. For her contribution, she was awarded the Femina Women Super Achiever award in 2017 and the Exceptional Women of Excellence award in 2018 by WEF. Price 249