SUICIDE

SUICIDE

THERE IS A WAY

K A U S H I K J E T H VA

Notion Press Old No. 38, New No. 6 McNichols Road, Chetpet Chennai - 600 031 First Published by Notion Press 2016 Copyright © Kaushik Jethva 2016 All Rights Reserved. ISBN 978-1-946390-42-4 This book has been published with all efforts taken to make the material error-free after the consent of the author. However, the author and the publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. No part of this book may be used, reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Acknowledgements Well, as it’s my first novel, I really don’t know how and whom to thank. First of all, a huge thanks to those who are reading this book. Your love and support is all that I need. I want a new apartment to stay, and it’s in your heart. I hope I succeed, fingers crossed. Thank you God, you made me a human being. I really mean it. I could not have delivered my thought if I’d not have been a human being. Thank you my mom and dad, not only because you are the reason I’m in this world but also for standing beside me when I needed you the most. Before being a good human, I want to be a good son. Loads of thanks to my brother, Dhaval Jethva. There’s a hidden reason behind my appreciation. You are the one who used to read my rubbish stories and patiently paid attention to my abnormal ideas. Thanks to my lovely sister Mrs. Bhavika Gohil, and ever-supporting brother Nishant Jethva. Thanks to the folks who encouraged me, I feel proud to say you – FRIENDS. I lost many in a night, but later I found few wise and bright. Special hat-tip to Divya Mandaliya, the only one who stood beside me when the whole world was about to turn against. Life is mortal, so are ideas. An idea needs propagation as much as a plant needs watering. Otherwise both will die. Thank you Notion Press, you propagated my ideas and made it immortal.

Chapter 1 1.1 15th June 2004 ‘Let’s leave,’ Jay said. ‘Ya! Today is just an embarrassing day, they are abusing us, that’s not fair,’ Deep said. As a matter of fact, it was fair, as we three musketeers were the only students who hadn’t completed our journal. ‘No, you both are insane. They will bawl us tomorrow,’ I said. ‘It’s okay, at least we will shield our day,’ Deep said. ‘Yeah Neil, that’s true. Today isn’t the last day,’ Jay voiced. ‘No, I won’t,’ I denied. ‘Are you sure? We’re asking one last time,’ Jay said. ‘Yes.’ ‘Leave him alone Jay, let us go, he will be the one and only in our entire batch to receive professor Dinda’s sweet words of appreciation,’ Deep warned and both left the classroom. I aspired to be the one and only, but surely not this way. Deep’s warning kept hurting my soul and I too decided to bunk. ‘Jay-Deep wait, I’m in,’ I said, both sniggered like Raavan. Jay & I have had completed our journal if Deep wouldn’t have forced us to watch movie last night. It was a pathetic day and we chose to bunk lectures. ‘Where are we heading?’ I asked. ‘Pooja has bunked too. We are going at National Park,’ Jay said.

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Pooja is Jay’s current girlfriend. He broke with Shweta last week. That’s habitual in Mumbai. I had a friend in Gujarat who liked one of our ex-school friends since third grade, but haven’t affirmed yet. ‘Oh, there might be other girls too,’ Deep craved. ‘Not too but only two, they are in total three,’ Jay said. My-scientist-mind commenced its own theory. Three boys and three girls, like a mathematics solution. 3 plus 3 is equal to 6, in-total we gonna be 6 people. 3 multiply by 3 is equal to 9, we gonna enjoy 9 times. 3 divide by 3 is equal to 1, we gonna be in a single unit. 3 minus 3 is equal to 0, if I fall for a girl, my career gonna turn 0. It has been said that an empty mind is a devil’s workshop, but in my case, an empty mind is Neil-TheScientists-Workshop. By the way, myself Neil Bhanushali. My story isn’t that interesting. I don’t know why this young Author is motivating you to read my yarn. However, it’s confusing but inspiring. Well, you will hate me for my three bad qualities. First, my scientist mind with self-theories. Second, the mistakes I made. Third, my mediocre tone. Yes, my language is average, indeed below average. You will hate my simple and easy English. I ask for forgiveness in beginning itself, but what could one expect from me. We are Human Beings and we tend to make mistakes, nobody is perfect, so am I, and so is my grammer. See, my grammer spelling is also incorrect. Avoid it, simply avoid it. Well, like others, my tale cum yarn doesn’t have a flashback, at least not from my side. It begins from future. Yes, you heard it right, let’s go to the future. 32 years later.

1.2 10th September 2036 - World Suicide Prevention Day A young girl in her mid-twenties entered the seminar hall as a presenter. A gathering of more than thousand people 2

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welcomed her. Lights, speakers and cordless mike, all set and ready. An aroma of fragrance spread around when she entered into the auditorium. Her face as white as snow. Light brown eyes. Black hair with red shades enlightening her beauty. A black formal blazer over a neat white shirt unveiled professionalism. “Good morning ladies and gentlemen, I am Mia, an MBA graduate, about to complete twenty eight years in this beautiful world. I understand girls do not mention their age, but I don’t mind. Good morning to young kids too. Let me make it clear that I’m not going to dance or sing today. This blazer won’t allow me to convert this session into a musical concert.” Mia is the founder of ‘Human Wealth Organisation’, a non-governmental organisation (NGO) collaborated with ‘International Association for Suicide Prevention’ (IASP). Human Wealth Organisation creates awareness of humanity among the society. They help those who are in need irrespective their caste, religion or nationality. Suicides have been their major concern and saving lives their major priority. Mia continued, “I won’t bore you and I hope you too won’t, make sure you carry those beautiful smiles till the end or else I will have to use my secret weapon of throwing bad jokes on you and I’m very sure that this weapon is going to kill you. So let’s begin. I am here to talk about suicide. “Suicide - an act of causing owns death intentionally, as per mentioned by Google.” “It has been mentioned that about one million people commit suicide worldwide every year. As per IASP’s report, the rate of suicide has increased from 7.9 to 16 per lakh. Our newspapers are incomplete without news about suicide. A survey says, on an average, one person dies by suicide every forty seconds in some corner of the world.” 3

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An atmosphere of laughter suddenly turned into a serious session. Everyone could feel the fire of Mia’s soul. Her statistics were perfect. Her topic worth to be noticed. Wanting to interact, a media journalist dared to raise her hand. “My question is why those people chose path of death?” “Nah! That’s not true. One who commits suicide does not choose the path of dying; they just want to get relief from their pain. A pain, which is temporary but difficult to handle. Relief from the feeling of depression they are into. They choose the path of overcoming from their pain. “I want to guide those people and show them that suicide is not an option to overcome from their pain. Ask yourself once, is it really going to feel better after suicide? Oh, come on! Be it feeling good or feeling bad, you won’t even be alive to feel. “Do not punish your temporary problems with a permanent solution. There is a way, there is hope.” Everyone stood up and applauded for Mia. There was none inside the auditorium who couldn’t feel her words. The environment filtered with an aura of positivity. The crowd once again sat on their respective seats to let Mia continue. Everyone sat except a nineteen-year-old boy. He stood silently for about twenty seconds, wondering what to say and how. A teenage student dared to ask his query in front of thousands of people. “It’s easy to say such things, so…so easy to keep hope, but when it comes to reality…In that certain period, when we lose all our hope and all our strength, we just can’t find any other way rather than giving up our life,” he said. His justification had an added point. His fear while uttering those words was not because of facing thousand people, but because of the pain he was suffering from. “Yes dear, you’re absolutely correct. You have a strong point. We do feel the same during such situations, but you 4

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need to believe in yourself, you need to believe in the power of positivity. After every night, there is a day. You need to believe and keep faith. I know you won’t understand right now, but time will surely make you understand.” He sat in his place with dissatisfaction and remained suspicious. Mia continued her speech for another half an hour and in the meantime, the session ended with her final words. “Thank you for your patience, you have been one of the greatest audiences I ever had. I hope each of you contribute your part.” Soon after the session, Mia sat in her car and left with Ananya. For a moment, Mia thought somebody is running behind her car but ignored and left the place.

5

Chapter 2 2.1 10th September 2036, 8.30 PM Mia: I was relaxing on sofa and reading letters. Some wrote about their concern and some wrote about being thankful. There were hundreds of those yet to peruse. I loved my occupied life. When you work for your passion, you enjoy it. Moreover, that’s how my life moves on. I want to spend every second in gleaming one’s life. I jumped on my fluffy bed about to sleep after going through few more letters. As I closed my eyes, an image of curly hair boy flashed. A teenager who stood with query in today’s session. He was anxious until the end. I woke-up all of a sudden. ‘Oh God! Boy who ran behind my car was he,’ I thought. I straight away called Ananya hoping for her presence in office.

2.2 ‘Were you talking about this boy?’ Ananya said carrying a printout, sprinting from her office room towards me. ‘Yes! Let’s go, we got to reach his place as soon as possible,’ I said. Ananya was puzzled. ‘His name?’ ‘Rahul…Deshmukh,’ Ananya said. ‘Will you say me now, why are we going at his place?’ ‘In today’s session, I felt something awkward about him. I saw pain in his eyes. I felt his sense of depression. He wasn’t satisfied with my words too. You know what was the strangest thing Annie? I noticed someone running behind our car after the event and I believe it was he,’ I said. I was worried.

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‘You are great Mia.’ ‘All because of my dad sweetheart,’ I said. I am missing him a lot. It has been a week since we had not talked. We saw a gathering of aunties casing Rahul’s house. I had to park my car outside the gate, as it was arduous to enter. I heard neighbors gossiping, ‘I don’t think he’ll survive.’ ‘What happened here?’ I asked a smart-lady who would not indulge in gossip and rather portray the reality. ‘Rahul drank poison,’ smart woman replied. ‘He is no more,’ commented the other. I wanted to kill her, but saved my energy. ‘No, he is still alive. He has been admitted to the hospital,’ smart woman corrected. ‘May I know the hospital name?’ ‘City hospital,’ she said. Rahul’s father is a politic leader of the ruling party, thus, media coverage was obvious. Ananya squeezed my hand and pointed towards a media journalist, ‘look Mia, what’s going on television, they got news.’ “Live coverage from direct news. Our channel is first to inform our viewers about this breaking news. As you see behind, yes ladies and gentlemen, it’s a hospital and son of Mr. Deshmukh has been admitted. As per information, opposition tried to kill and threaten his family.” A police officer stopped us. I slammed our identity card on his face, ‘Mia and Ananya, founders of HWO.’ ‘We still can’t let you go,’ replied officer. Luckily, deputy superintendent observed our struggle and allowed us to get access. ‘Thank you sir. Is he out of danger?’ I asked to the DSP. ‘Yes! Doctor has suggested waiting for an hour,’ He replied pleasantly. Nobody was permitted inside corridor near ICU except Ananya, 4 teenagers and me. 7

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2.3 Finally, doctor appeared out of ICU and informed Mr. Deshmukh that his son has awakened. We ran to join them until DSP ordered us to wait outside the unit. Mr. & Mrs. Deshmukh with DSP moved inside. Fortunately, Rahul saw us from the unit semi-mirror glass and requested his parents to let us step in. DSP had to permit us inside before his investigation. We stood quietly at a corner with his four friends. ‘I want to talk to Mia mam,’ Rahul uttered his first phrase after a failed suicide attempt. DSP glanced at me and said, ‘Impressive!’ I felt proud for a second. An appreciation boosts your motive. ‘So Rahul, who tried to kill you?’ I expected the same old question from DSP, which we saw in movies, who-tried-to-kill-you. ‘No sir, it…it wasss, I…trr…tried to commit suicide,’ Rahul hesitated. Mrs. Deshmukh whimpered. ‘If it’s true, then this case will be closed here itself, once again asking son, are you sure?’ Rahul gave a nod. ‘You may continue Mia,’ said DSP and left. Mr. & Mrs. Deshmukh followed him. Before his friends utter or I ask, Rahul spoke, ‘Mam I tried to meet you after the session, but I couldn’t reach you.’ ‘I’m sorry Rahul, security was for privacy. It’s ok now, you must rest. You’ll be alright.’ ‘I want to talk to you,’ Rahul said. ‘Sure. Nevertheless, answer me first. What propelled you to take this step?’ ‘I will not be able to express it now mam,’ he said. ‘But I want to ask you something.’ ‘Say.’ ‘Mam, I want to know about Neil,’ Rahul said. I trembled. Is he talking about…? 8

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‘Who Neil?’ ‘Neil Bhanushali,’ he said. Ananya and I looked at each. More than surprised, we were stunned. ‘Why do you want to know about him?’ Ananya jolted. ‘Sagar, do you remember two weeks back I came at your place,’ Rahul asked one of his friends. ‘Hmm, so?’ Sagar asked. ‘His uncle said that he saw Neil, whereas his father denied the fact and stated that he committed Suicide.’ ‘But who is Neil and why are you so anxious about it?’ one of his female friend asked. ‘The way my Dad and my uncle tattled about Neil made us curious Gauri,’ Sagar said. Ananya and I stood mum. ‘I researched about Neil Bhanushali but Google had no such link. I wanted to know about his life, about his suicide attempt, about the reason, about the way he over-came and bounced back. I believe that you know about him,’ Rahul said. ‘Even I’m curious to know about him,’ Sagar said. ‘Uh huh, confusing,’ Gaurav said and added, ‘But interesting. Maybe I will get my first novel. I am in.’ ‘Please mam,’ both the girls requested. Rahul and his friends requested to know about Neil Bhanushali. However, for me, it was not only about sharing a person’s story, but also opening the book of history.

2.4 17th July 2011 Neil Bhanushali: Every morning is beautiful. They say, morning is a fresh beginning towards a new day but not like this morning. One fine morning I woke-up and felt everything has ended. A feeling of having body without soul, exactly like having a mobile phone without SIM. You can just not call, can’t use internet, can’t operate Facebook or WhatsApp despite having the applications. A minute of silence grooving all over my mind. Was in a state of acute stress reaction. 9

When everything happens according to your wish, it is good. But if not, then even better, because then it happens according to the God’s wish. Have you ever been through depression? Have you ever faced a break-up? Has life dragged you into loneliness overnight? Neil Bhanushali was once desperate to commit suicide. Against his wishes, he was saved at Green Islet island by a man called Chris Brown. His 13 Points and Final Chapter theory gave him hope and the will to fight. Learn how Neil defeats his demons and how Chris Brown’s 13 Points and Final Chapter theory helped him in Suicide: There is a way. Kaushik Jethva is a twenty-three year-old human residing on planet Earth in this vast universe. He prefers his unique and peculiar manner and started his dream project – 1 Life: 7 Ways — when he was just fifteen. He insists his adolescence is full of misunderstandings and mistakes which made him strong. His dream project kick-starts with his first book — Suicide: There is a way. Price 195