Published by Rupa Publications India Pvt. Ltd 2017 7/16, Ansari Road, Daryaganj New Delhi 110002 Sales centres: Allahabad Bengaluru Chennai Hyderabad Jaipur Kathmandu Kolkata Mumbai Copyright © Sumrit Shahi 2010, 2017 This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher. ISBN: 978-81-291-4837-7 Ninth impression 2022 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 Printed in India This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated, without the publisher’s prior consent, in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published.

Indebted to, His Holiness Satguru Baba Hardev Singh Ji Maharaj, who taught me that God is formless (Nirankar). Mrs Inderjeet Kohli (my grandmother)—your hands still rock the cradle of my life…to sleep, to contentment. Mrs Smiley Shahi (my mother)—you burned your necessities to fulfil my desires. Mr Sukhjit Shahi (my father)—for being my shadow, indispensable yet flexible.



Ek tuhi Nirankar Mein teri sharan han Mainu baksh lo



Contents A Word or Two 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17.

Of Endings and Beginnings He Lives and Lusts He Still Lives and Lusts He Lives and Likes He Lives, Likes and Likes Some More He Lives, Likes, Loves He Lives, Likes, Loves, Loves Some More He Lives, Likes, Loves, Loses He Lives, Likes, Loves, Loses, Learns He Lives, Likes, Loves, Loses, Learns Some More Barely Buddies Barely Buddies to Besharam Best Friends So-Kool Buddies Back-Up Buddies and the Surprise Bed and Good-Time Buddies Boards, Buddies and Break-Ups Love and Friendship Go Hand in Hand

Acknowledgements

ix 1 13 26 31 44 59 74 95 116 126 137 154 170 187 198 203 226 233

A Word or Two Teenage is the most confusing, challenging, adventurous yet insightful years in one’s journey of life. An age, when equations change before an eye blink, when everything that begins with ‘L’…ends into lust…even if it is love. When friends become your breath and you their soul. Come realize and relive these years… With the fable of two teenagers, as they sit at airport and share their tryst of Living, Liking, Lusting, Loving, Losing, Learning…all to unknowingly answer for each other the biggest question that haunts their lives, respectively and collectively. ‘Can a girl and a boy be just friends?’ Sumrit Shahi www.sumritshahi.weebly.com [email protected]

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Of Endings and Beginnings Aaryan THE PRESENT Date: 7 April 2010 Time: Early Morning Location: Hotel M, Singapore Destiny conceals what dreams reveal. When darkness exudes warmth, you dream… She sits with me, laughter and tears—the two impressions of every expression, darkness again… She caresses my hair, silk soft—her fingers, warm, motherly—her lap, darkness again… Her heavy breath engulf me, darkness again… A high mountain, a floating cloud, a setting sun, a soaring bird—the zenith of ‘our existence’, darkness again…

2 — Sumrit Shahi

Light—it murders the darkness…the dream. I got up with a start. It was the same dream again—the dream which like a shadow accompanied me through the day, vague yet intense; the dream like a mirror, a ghost living through the night, haunting my existence. I sat up in my bed and reached for the bottle of water kept on the side table. My lips kissed the top of the bottle and the liquid trickled down my throat in its most pious form. Boza would have hated this. ‘Use a glass,’ she would have said angrily had she been here…only if she were here. I smiled in the warmth of my best friend’s memory. I got out of bed, walked up to the window and drew the curtains away. Singapore. My dream stared back at me; the dream I had lived for ever since I had met Ishita a year ago, back in India. ‘I love her,’ I had declared to Boza and all my other friends, soon after our three-day encounter had seeped into every crevice and every pore of my mind, my body and my heart. The telephone rang and I rushed to pick up the call. ‘Hello,’ I said carefully. ‘Aaryan, I just called to wake you up. Is everything packed?’ asked Mom, her voice laced with concern. ‘Yes Mom, everything done,’ I replied and looked around to find my bag resting peacefully in the temporary darkness that could dissolve with one touch of the switch. ‘Finally, my son is returning to India after a week. Dad is so proud of you; he has been boasting about your achievement to all and sundry.’ I smiled at myself—an achievement that was a façade; a false escape; a prelude to the harsh reality. I was basically a loser; a loser who had lost friendship and love, both. ‘Aaryan! Aaryan!’ Mom’s repetition of my name brought

… Ju s t F r i e n d s ? — 3

me back to the real mirage I considered life. ‘Y…yes, Mom,’ I replied. ‘Son, all the best for your flight. We will see you at the airport.’ ‘Alright, Mom. Bye.’ And just as I was about to hang up, Mom began, ‘By the way, I forgot to tell you…Karan had called last night. She is still in the ICU. We all are praying for her.’ Emotions choked my throat, leaving me with no alternative but to disconnect the call. 

Aaryan THE PAST Date: 9 August 2009 Time: 1.30 p.m. Location: India Habitat Centre, New Delhi Strangers till yesterday, Acquaintances today, Friends now. A seventeen-year-old boy and a seventeen-year-old girl sat in an upscale restaurant at India Habitat Centre, New Delhi. The boy in question is me, Aaryan Gill. I am tall and admirably long and with her in front of me, hard too…Oops, my honourable, hormonal hopes! The girl in front of me is Ishita. She is from Singapore and she is my dream, my destiny, for the past two days at least! ‘So, what type of music do you like?’ she asked, taking a large sip from the cold coffee glass.