Pause and Pen ( Whispers of the Soul )

Edited by

Dr. J. Vijayalakshmi & Monica Sudhir Gupta

Published by TGIBT Press An Imprint of “The Great Indian Book Tour” www.tgibt.com 106/91, Ashok marg, Vijay path Mansarover, Jaipur, Rajasthan-302020 Phone : +91-72400-68114 email : [email protected] Title

:

Pause and Pen

Editor : Dr. J. Vijayalakshmi / Monica Sudhir Gupta All rights reserved First published in 2021 First Edition 2021

ISBN : 978-81-953858-9-8

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are part of Author's imagination and resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, events or place is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this book can be used, reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or reviews.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” -Teilhard de Chardin

Contributors

Aditi Singh 1

Aemi Asan 6 Akanksha Somani 10 Anu Chopra 13 Anwesha Banerjee 18 Bina Mardia 37 D. Padmavathi 40 Dr. Shaurya Saxena 43 Dr. Devansh Shah 47 Dr. Manisha Saxena 51

Dr. Shilpa Parasrampuria

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Dr. Usha Shrivastava 65 Gaurav Sarvjit 69 Geetanjali 74 Harshil Thummar 80 Heer Nimavat 86 Jharna Choudhury 90 Krutii Vajir 93 Kusum Jain 99 Madhuri Devi 104 Manimaran Kathiresan 109

Mannat Singh 112 Mansi Kamdar 116 Meera 120 Neena Singh 124 Nikita Shah 129 Priti Sakhadeo 135 Radha Kundaliya 140 Rupal Bodiwala 143 Sana Khan 148 Savitha Pillai Das 151 Sreevas Munnoolam 154 Shahana Shama Seeroo 158 Shailendra Gulhati 161 Shraddha Ramani 167 Soniya Sanghvi 171 Sudha Dixit 175 Sweta Singh Sonee 184 Theepthika Gnanasegaran 187 V. V. Haleshappa 192 Dr. J Vijayalakshmi 196 Monica Sudhir Gupta 201

1

Aditi Singh

Aditi Singh is a post graduate curious chemistry student, an avid reader, loves conversing and is keen towards writing. A beautiful piece of literature can always lift up her mood. She loves the stage and is inquisitive about research work. She practises effective communication and is a true blue Gemini who adores interacting with people.

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DREAMING OF THE SUN… Places forbidden to the living, Splits open where lonely seeds are scattered. Empty of the material and the meaning. No purpose lies in the places and things that are sown, Every Particle –Combusting, All conditions signaling only re-birth. A thousand hands sprouting Captures a compulsion behind every will. Grasping for the sun unseen, Sundering shadows and stones, Tearing into a cold Earth for a warm home, Freedom is not given, but taken. Breaking free of suffocation, Rising into a burning abyss, Betrayed by dreams of nurturing radiance, And staring into the sun as our ashes blow away.

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BEYOND THE MIST… Brumous feelings, broken heart Shadows stark and piercing shards. She sits there all alone like a Raven Feasting on memories forlorn Overlooking the sequestered tower Love lost, bleeding scars Who promised a life of togetherness Vanished in the dark. Trying to walk on wheels of hope Toppled by lies, fog and smoke She forgot she had wings She forgot she could sing. Learning to fly again is truly an art Enkindling faith in her worthy soul Saved her from falling apart….

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A SOLIVAGANT’S HOME… And they call me stronger But that’s what I want to show in barter Like an Adirondack swing, I sway to and fro As if on the swing of memories, People come and go I never knew when I slept over the moss layer When my misery became a maven player If I knew before what telepathy could do I would overlook the blue Apart from springs, I would have searched for home I would have asked the history From the ancient audiences, the pillars of Rome I mourn for the flowers which are abandoned at funerals Oh, I am not done with the ever tethered tears I miss the sun below the horizon I wake up at the beats of hearts, so frozen I hear home, breathing, beneath me, perhaps I know not in which season and months Monsoon, you dwell so fine darling Winter, the icy breeze is just humming Autumn, I adore your solemn fall, serenely passing In spring, I dream of my beloved loves The breathing is alive, O profound sound!

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So I wonder where all the life did go The air layers move like a pendulum Inside the drawer of my maple desk Behind the mountains, ruling over my chest Or the ocean layers, beckoning me for a voyage Or the wildflowers, inviting me to break my cage Perhaps it’s the four walls I live within Or the retina, I capture the colours and summon Perhaps home isn’t just one place For a dandelion, she makes home Wherever she steps…

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Aemi Asan

Aemi Asan is a millennial Mallu trying to make it through her 20s in one piece. She currently lives in the US and uses her website as a platform to share her experience. She wants to bring awareness to the positives and negatives of growing up as an American Malayalee in the 21st century. She hopes that by sharing her stories, other young people will know they are not alone. In her current project, A New Page, she recounts the funny and ridiculous antics her family and friends will go through to see her married and settled. Website: www.asanworks.com Instagram: @asanworks

Pause And Pen

7

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? Whenever I am at my lowest, I think back to the vision I had when I was 19 years old. I was on a grassy field skipping around a swirling blue and green rocket, like the type kids can ride on for 75¢ outside of a supermarket. After jumping and frolicking around the rocket, I decided to get in. Before I could even settle down, the rocket had blasted off into space. There was no way to control it, it had a mind of its own. All I could do was to sit back as we were headed straight for the moon. We were fast approaching the moon, but we were not slowing down. Instead we used the moon’s gravity as a slingshot; our true destination was the sun. The sun pulled us closer and closer. Venus and Mercury zoomed underneath us. I could feel the heat of the sun burning my skin. Imagine the worst possible sunburn, it was even worse than that. There were times when I could feel the layers of my skin peeling away. The heat was getting worse, despite the realization the sun was shrinking the closer we got to it. It was the size of a rubber ball when we reached it. As soon as the antenna at the front of the rocket made contact with the tiny high energy fire ball, it disappeared. In its place a black hole appeared. I could not tell if it was enveloped around me or if the gravitational force sucked me into it, but suddenly my world was pitch dark. My arms that were scorched from the sun’s heat were now being dragged down by invisible weights. My joints were screaming while the back of my neck burnt as if it was on fire. I felt like a puppet on a string. Whoever controlled these strings yanked me down deeper into the black hole. Suddenly, gravity stopped working. A voice spoke out of the darkness, demanding to know,

“Is this what you want?”



Was this God? Was I having a revelation? Terrified, I

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screamed back, “No!”

I kept repeating to myself,



“I am a strong woman, I can get through this!”

My chanting was empowering which raised my spirit and my body to soar higher. The strings that bound me were cut and I escaped the pull of the black hole. I flew through the darkness of space straight into the sky, all the while repeating to myself, “I am a strong woman!” The cool sky eased the pain on my body. Those burns on my arms still stung, but they were not getting worse. The fire on my neck sputtered on, refusing to fade away. Then, I stopped flying, I was not falling, instead I was stuck floating, unable to move. The mysterious voice echoed around me,

“What if you are alone forever?”

I was surprised. If I was able to move, I might have fallen to the weight of this question: my biggest fear. What if I am alone forever? What if I never get married? What if I never have children? What if I fail at meeting the socially accepted benchmarks? What if I cannot make new friends? What if I lose everyone? At that moment, I made up my mind. If I am going to be alone forever, then let it be so. Everyone has something meant for them. Maybe my goals and dreams can only be accomplished if I am single.

“Then fine,”

I answered the voice. I immediately started shooting upward. The higher I flew, the greater the pain was at the back of my neck until it became unbearable.

The voice turned cruel,

“You will always be alone. You will always feel pain. No one will stay. You will always be alone!” “I am strong! I will get through this! Even if it means I will be alone!”

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9

I noticed my flight was slowing down. The sky transitioned into light blue and I was among the clouds. I was back in the Earth’s atmosphere.

The voice spoke one last time to me,



“This is what you wanted, so be it.”

At that command, gravity began working again, I was plummeting to the surface. My body tumbled through the rolls of air like a plane hitting turbulence. It was an odd sensation. The burn on my neck subsided as if someone placed aloe on it. I saw the ground coming closer. It was going to hurt, but it needed to hurt. I would live, I would be okay. BAM My entire body ached. Even though every inch of me was sore, I started laughing. Laughing from the pain, laughing from the absurdity, laughing from the realization. My laughter turned to tears and I began sobbing as I turned myself over. An intuition within me said that I cannot sit around here. I do not have time. I have to get up and go. I began to pick myself up slowly and carefully. I stood up, looked around to see the beautiful meadow I had fallen into. Soft grass was growing at my feet and colourful wildflowers scattered in all the directions. A warm breeze caressed me and blew through my hair, taking it in all directions. I looked up to the rich azure sky to see a couple of clouds make their way across. The sun returned and it shone on my back. My neck did not hurt anymore, nothing hurt anymore. I was completely healed. The flat ground laid before me. I took a couple of wobbly steps, trying out my legs. I glanced back to where I had fallen remembering the words,

“I have to get up and go.”

I turned once more and started walking. I could walk in any direction because I knew I would end up somewhere. Whenever I am at my highest, I think back to the prophecy I had when I was 19 years old.