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Conversations

Rajeev Nanda

First published in India 2011 by Frog Books an imprint of Leadstart Publishing Pvt Ltd 1 Level, Trade Centre Bandra Kurla Complex Bandra (East) Mumbai 400 051 India Telephone: +91-22-40700804 Fax: +91-22-40700800 Email: [email protected] www.leadstartcorp.com / www.frogbooks.net Editorial Office: Unit: 25-26 / Building A/1 Ground Floor, Near Wadala RTO Wadala (East) Mumbai 400 037 India Phone: +91-22-24036548 / 24036930 Sales & Marketing Office: Unit: 122 / Building B/2 First Floor, Near Wadala RTO Wadala (East) Mumbai 400 037 India Phone: +91-22-24046887 US Office: Axis Corp, 7845 E Oakbrook Circle Madison, WI 53717 USA Copyright (c) Rajeev Nanda All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages. ISBN 978-93-81115-12-1 Publisher and Managing Editor: Sunil K Poolani Books Editor: Sharmila Ramnani Design Editor: Mishta Roy Typeset in Book Antiqua Printed at Repro India Ltd, Mumbai Price — India: Rs 195; Elsewhere: US $14

Dedicated to Family & Friends – who never tire of conversations and provide fodder for more!

Contents About the Author�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 7 Introduction���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 9 1. I Have�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 13 2. Splinters���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 15 3. Tête-à-tête������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 23 4. Soldier������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 33 5. The Taxi Ride������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 49 6. Darkness��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 67 7. Snowstorm����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 69 8. Four Eulogies������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 85 9. Fear���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 103 10. The Rabbit Hole������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 105 11. Intersection��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 133 12. She����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 153 13. The Truth Club�������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 173 14. Misfit������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 211 15. Conversation������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 213 Acknowledgements������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 221

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About the Author Rajeev Nanda is an internet-technology professional and the author of multiple books. He also blogs on various topics on his website – https://rnanda.com His early experiences and certain events in life prompted his interest and subsequent writings on various topics of philosophy and society.

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Introduction Being lucky is a perspective. To see the glass as half-full (borrowing from the old cliché) takes practice and determination to view life from a positive angle. It is easier to whine and sulk at everything that goes wrong with you or blame the world around you for your misfortunes. Over the years, I’ve learned that all this negativity does not result in anything other than cynicism, more negative feelings and ill health. If you really must feel sorry for yourself, make it short and get over it fast because life is too short to waste on petty matters. I was schooled in a hostel in the quaint Himalayan town Dalhousie, and my college years were spent in the northern state of India, Punjab. This was also the time when Punjab was hit badly with terrorism. Getting a good education was a second priority to staying alive and not getting messed up in any ‘encounter’. Two incidents during my college days had a large impact on my perspective towards life, as both these incidents made me see death up close and personal. The first incident involved a road accident when the bus I was riding to college in was hit by another bus on a bridge. Our bus driver somehow controlled the vehicle, and we stopped at the very edge with one wheel hanging in the air. The passengers of the other bus were not that lucky, as it broke the railings and fell to the dried riverbed more than 200 yards below. When we ran down to look for survivors, we could find only one – a three-month-old baby clutched in the embrace of his dead mother. The second incident was not so accidental in nature. As I disembarked the bus that I had taken for college and started walking away, I heard a deafening blast. A terrorist-planted bomb in the bus I had just disembarked had exploded.

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CONVERSATIONS

These two incidents, along with Aristotle, Ayn Rand, Amrita Pritam, Nietzsche, Victor Hugo, and other authors I read during my college years, made me think about life and what we do with the time we have on this planet. As I said, being lucky is a perspective. I believe I am lucky – to be alive, to have had a life of comfort and luxury, to have made good friends, to have adoring kids and a supporting wife, to have come across and met great people at work and otherwise, to have the opportunity to travel around many countries and experience different cultures, and most importantly, to have lived my life on my terms. Yes, I may have lost a few rounds, but then I have also won quite a few of them. The stories and poems in the book have resulted from my years of observing people around me and then mulling over various challenges and dilemmas we face in life. Therefore, I think it is better for this book to introduce me to you rather than me trying to introduce the book. I will consider it as the success of this book if the stories and poems herein make you think, reflect and develop new perspectives and have some conversations of your own! 

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(2021) One cannot escape one’s destiny. It not only applies to people but also everything else in this world, including books. When, almost a decade ago, the book went out of print, I never imagined that it would ever get back in print. The journey of this book started in 2004 in the US, and it came to India in 2009 and now getting back into print in 2021. Given that I did not spend any time, money or energy on marketing, the book found itself few readers. Some loved it and some found it painful to read. My gratitude goes to all those who read and shared their views on it. I expect my readers to be brutally honest about their feedback and opinions about the book. That is the only way it will fulfil its desired destiny. Thank you for being part of its journey.

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1 I Have I have a million reasons to exist, But, all I need is a passion to feel alive. I have all the mankind to love, But, all I need is one paragon to revere. I have a lifetime full of joy, But, all I need is a moment of ecstasy. I have an ocean of acquaintances, But, all I need is one friend to entrust. I have the thesaurus to construct an epic, To convey the drama and emotions, But, all I need is a hug that helps express. I have all these fires raging inside me, Of love and lust, Of hate and trust But, all I need is one flame of serenity. 13

2 Splinters

T

he day was bright and sunny as I stepped out of the metro station. Everything appeared familiar, but also seemed out of order. I distinctly remembered the familiar daily travellers disembarking when I stepped out of the train, but how come I was the only one stepping out of the station? As I walked towards my office, I saw her from the corner of my eye. There she stood, leaning against the wall as if contemplating what to do next. Either she was lost, or she was waiting for someone. Her posture and gesture did not convey either of the reasons for her being there. “Are you lost?” I asked as I approached her. She turned her gaze towards me with an enigmatic smile that seemed to betray her tender age, “Eh? Yeah.” She appeared to be eight years old. Her hair was tied in a ponytail that bounced back and forth as she kept looking around as if waiting for someone. Her polka-dot frock reminded me of the dress I had bought for my daughter on her birthday a month ago. 15

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