TOUCHED BY

CANCER My Journey to Wellness and Positivity

Preeti Mishra PhD

Indra Publishing House www.indrapublishing.com

Published by:

Indra Publishing House

E-5/21, Arera Colony, Habibganj Police Station Road, Bhopal 462016 Phone : +91 755 4059620, 4030921 Email : [email protected] [email protected] Web. : www.indrapublishing.com Copyright © 2018 Preeti Mishra Title : Touched By Cancer − My Journey to Wellness and Positivity Author : Preeti Mishra Cover Painted by : Avani Mishra Text Design : Pramod Singh First Print : 2018 ISBN: 978-93-86303-86-8

Printed & Published by Mr. Manish Gupta for Indra Publishing House, E-5/21, Arera Colony, Habibganj Police Station Road, Bhopal 462016 INDIA

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the author and publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages. Information contained in this work is obtained by the author and publisher from sources believed to be reliable. The publisher and its authors make no representation or warranties with respect to accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and shall not be liable for any errors, omissions or damages arising out of use of this information. Dispute if any related to this publication is subject to Bhopal Jurisdiction.

Dedication I have great pleasure in dedicating this book to my Mom, Mrs Sudesh Bhatia, for instilling upright values and taking good care of me. Also, I would like to dedicate it to my Mom-in-law, Late Dr Mrs Madhu Mishra, who helped me evolve and empower myself.

FOREWORD This book aims to reach out with a sharing of personal experiences, results of research as well as the benefit of the myriad sources of support, with which I was uniquely blessed. You will find in this book, apart from the meaning of the diagnosis, the reaction of family and friends together play a vital role in your treatment as also recovery. Attitude, the songbird of the 21st century can be your own make or break factor. Our society, our professional progress, and our relationships are simple denominators of our position and perspective when we face challenges. Progress globally (both medically and socially) has resulted in a dynamic seachange to bring more positive support from the society. Until now this was immobilised to aid and soothe afflicted patients due to ignorance, taboo and superstition. Fear – especially of the unknown, is greatly magnified unless we decide to face it head on. Indeed, it is up to us to minimise the anxiety by replacing it with our strong faith in the Almighty and ourselves along with medical experts’ care available to us. My own journey from diagnosis to being cured is actually the vanquished dread manifest by the joint resources of courage around me.

Perfect conditions are rare, yet with patience and practice and some help from family and friends, we can and will go forward to emerge strong and optimistic, ready for the next challenge. After all, we have to strive to thrive! Good health and spirit to you! Preeti Mishra

Acknowledgement This book has been written with the unconditional continuous support of my family and friends. First and foremost, I thank my husband Vinay for his ever ready Tender Loving Care during my treatment. He undoubtedly has been my motivator to write this book. My wonderful children, both my son Anaadi and daughter Avani, are my pride as also a hugely loving support with their tech-savvy skills and critique. My parents, Inder and Sudesh Bhatia and father-in law Dr Suresh Mishra have supported me in all my ventures. It is they, who have mentored my personality and share credit for every goal I achieve. Certainly, the efforts of family and friends, colleagues and neighbours have lent me courage, provided support and I owe you all gratitude for the same. You know who you are. I am also grateful to the professionals who have lent their experience and expertise to bring my dream to fruition. Manish Gupta of Indra Publishing House kindly agreed to take up this work of a first-time author. Kaneez Zehra Razavi (Anupam) and Pratigya Esther Ram were helpful in putting this book together. Lynn Chambers, my mentor at the Denver International programme USA, was an inspiration. Her experience with cancer helped me cope well during my treatment. May her soul rest in peace – special thanks to Craig for granting us permission to use portions of her work. My dachshund, Zoobi, who now rests in peace, deserves a huge thank you for being my constant companion in tears and smiles.

Contents Chapter 1 Can Survive: A Path to Wellness

11

Chapter 2 What Shall We Do Next?

24

Chapter 3 Get Everyone Involved

42

Chapter 4 Strive to Thrive

59

Chapter 5 Other Types of Cancer

79

Chapter 6 General Advice to All Patients

86

Chapter 7 Poems

89

Appendix I Daily Wellness Reminders

93

Appendix II Recipes

95

Can Survive: A Path To Wellness

Chapter 1

Can Survive A Path to Wellness I don’t want to just tell my story- I want to share the experiences, life lessons and values that have shaped who I am and my ideas for future. VALERIE JARRETT

Happy childhood. I was the elder sister, my Mom was key to our discipline and dedication to school work for my little brother and me. Our father – an engineer with BHEL, was our model of diligence. We two enjoyed an idyllic childhood, deep into our academic work with an eye to get into the first opportunity of any extra-curricular activity floating by us. Especially drama, dance and song, the stage became our fun activity of choice. From a happy-go-lucky young child, I matured to be a potential poetess with interest in dramatics, and had the honour of numerous accolades for academic achievements. As a postgraduate scholar, I was nominated to become the President of the College Students’ Union at the Bhopal School of Social Sciences, from where I completed my 11

Touched by Cancer – My Journey to Wellness and Positivity

college education. Marriage began a new phase of my life. The proposal came from Vinay’s (my husband’s) family for me. My parents had promised me that they will not let my studies suffer. Verily, that is, they would not force me into marriage. Despite the proposal coming from a family where each member was an academician – my parents were forced to give it some more thought. In fact, it became a serious consideration. It was decided that they would meet my future husband’s parents. Both the families gelled well from the outset. At our very first meeting, our values and aspirations, thinking and culture had few barriers despite our different family backgrounds; mine a North Indian Punjabi family and Vinay’s Hindi-speaking Brahmins. My own life was cosmopolitan – the BHEL township, where we lived during my childhood, was a mini India. A missionary school education ensured my friends belonged to many religions. There were hardly any adjustment issues with my new family. My Mom-in-law, Dr Madhu Mishra, was a professor of nutrition at MLB Government College. Under her wings, my grooming and adjustment to the joint family comprising of Vinay’s brother and his wife began. With her loving encouragement, I appeared for exams for lectureship, that is the UGC-NET as well as the MPPSC. After clearing both with flying colours, I was also awarded the Junior Research Fellowship, to enable me to enrol for my PhD with Women Entrepreneurship as my topic. My son was born before I was appointed as an Assistant Professor at Nutan PG College. I was happy to be loved by a caring supportive family, which encouraged me to spread my wings to fly. My husband, Vinay, taught me to drive and 12

Can Survive: A Path To Wellness

had my passport made, besides being a dedicated responsible hands-on Dad for our son. He began his new practice as a psychologist, while we were expecting our second child, in addition to his assignment as a professor at BSSS. Around that time, my mother-in-law, Dr Madhu Mishra, accidentally spotted a lump in her breast. I accompanied her to a radiologist. When the sonography was done, an FNAC (Fine-Needle Aspiration Cytology) was suggested. The two slides were sent to two doctors to study. Both results were contradictory. One said she had cancer and the other said she did not. My husband and father-in-law accompanied her to Tata Memorial Hospital, Mumbai, where it was confirmed she had breast cancer. Then and there she underwent a radical mastectomy and was prescribed oral medications . Our son, Anaadi, was called his Dadi’s saviour. That was because while reaching out, as he tried to climb on the bed – he had leaned his elbow on her breast. That was when she had felt the tiny lump, for the first time. Soon after, our daughter, Avani, was born. Mummy was hale and hearty. Both grandmothers took care of me and our new ray of sunshine. Our children were blessed to have both sets of grandparents to love and care for them. All of them enjoyed plenty of quality time together, full of fun-filled activities. Two and half years later, Mummy developed secondaries (metastasis, i.e. when cancer cells break away from the main tumour and spread to other parts). It was necessary to undergo a round of radiation, however it burnt her skin. It was during that time my brother, Vikas got married to a wonderful person, Swati. 13

Touched by Cancer – My Journey to Wellness and Positivity

Mummy did get better, to continue with her projects and conferences. Meanwhile, cancer was spreading to the other parts of her body. Her treatment continued alternately with chemotherapy and radiation. Staying with her at the Cancer Hospital to witness it all at close quarters was something I didn’t realise I would ever have to do all over again. She would always tell me that any new moles that appear were signs of cancer growing in the body (a sign I witnessed yet ignored before my diagnosis). She was never scared of the treatment – she would take it all bravely. Mummy fought her battle most valiantly, yet we lost her seven years after the initial detection and diagnosis of cancer. It was a huge loss for our family. My husband, Vinay, was devastated as he was particularly attached to her. In desperation, in the hot month of May, he had braved a rough bus ride to Rajgarh, to procure a special potion from a Vaidya (a practitioner of Ayurvedic Medicine) famed to cure cancer. We had tried every possible treatment to ensure she would be cured completely. When our son was ten years old, she had said, “I want to sit in the car when Anaadi learns to drive it.” She courageously spearheaded an international-level conference on nutrition, which turned out to be her last, just weeks before she left for her final abode. Such was her unwavering optimism, her ever positive outlook towards life. There are many memories of her words of wisdom. Even today, whenever in doubt, I pause to think about how she would have handled any challenge. I attempt to make decisions with her pattern of thought. Yes, she still remains my guide and a source of much strength.

14

Can Survive: A Path To Wellness

Time Is A Great Healer We eventually resumed our careers as the children went back to their school work and other activities. Within a vacuum, I devoted more time to my children who began to perform better at studies, much the way my own Mom had taken the reins on our school work. Anaadi took up playing the tabla and keyboard, while Avani took up Kathak lessons. A few years later, we bought a house closer to Vinay’s college that was, incidentally, also nearer my parents’ home. The new home brought us plenty of happiness, serenity, peace and serendipity along with the much needed calmness anew into our lives. When Anaadi enrolled for his CA program, while studying for his BCom, our new house proved to be conveniently near to both his college and the institute. Avani achieved a 10 CGPA in the tenth grade as well as was selected for the JENESYS program in Japan. Selected to be among the top ten participants in Brainhunt, she was awarded by the Honourable President of India, Shrimati Pratibha Patil. On completion of twelfth grade, she enrolled for three courses simultaneously. In the Company Secretary Executive examination she attained the 14th rank in India. After CLAT, Avani enrolled for a BA LL.B (Hons) degree, a five-year program, in the National Law University, Bhopal (NLIU). Along with her law studies, she stood an All India First Rank in the Company Secretary exam, the youngest to clear the challenging accreditation in the shortest time. Anaadi cleared his prestigious UGC-NET exam. Yes, life could not have been better for our family. There was nothing more I could ask from God. We were happy. Our children were well on their way to illustrious careers. My 15