AGAINST ALL ODDS, ESCAPING CHILD MARRIAGE

FROM A REMOTE VILLAGE, SHE ROSE TO

WIN A NATIONAL AWARD

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Authors Tree Publishing KBT MIG - 8, Housing Board Colony Bilaspur, Chhattisgarh 495001 Published By Authors Tree Publishing 2021 Copyright in respect of this book belongs to Dr. Aswathy Rajan and Ms. Manju K Manohar.

Appropriate permission must be taken before any reproduction or translation or reference to this book or its contents. Permission must be taken from the authors for any inspired printed/non printed creations, inspired by this book. All the persons whose letters/email or words or testimonials have been printed in this book, have given exclusive rights to Dr. Aswathy Rajan and Ms. Manju K Manohar for using the same. ISBN: 978-93-91078-77-5

© 2021 Dr. Aswathy Rajan and Ms Manju K Manohar All Rights Reserved

ii | THE LADY WITH THE MAGIC LAMP

AGAINST ALL ODDS, ESCAPING CHILD MARRIAGE

FROM A REMOTE VILLAGE, SHE ROSE TO

WIN A NATIONAL AWARD

EDUCATIONIST & SOCIAL WORKER WHAT WAS THERE IN HER MAGIC LAMP?

DR. ASWATHY RAJAN & MANJU K MANOHAR

iii | THE LADY WITH THE MAGIC LAMP

Dedication This book is dedicated to the families and friends of Dr Rajammal and that of the authors. Family of Dr Rajammal: ● ● ●

Son: Prithviraj and Her Parents: Ramachandran(late) and Sarasu(Late), her foster parents (KannanJi and Lalitha) Siblings: Her loving brother Krishnan and her sisters Radha & Chinnakili and their families. Heartfelt thanks to the friends and students of Dr Rajammal, inmates & staff of Goodlife Centre and inmates & Staff of Sarvalayam(founded by Kala Madam) and to the staff of IDF (Dr A R K Pillai, Dr Narayan Iyer and team).

Family Members of Dr. Aswathy Rajan: ● ● ● ● ● ●

Parents: Rajendra Prasad and Shobana Husband Vimal Vidyadharan and children Vaishnavi & Vanya Mentor and Guide Prof. Upma Bagai (Late) Brother R.Amit Rajan and sister-in-law Aparna Prasad In-laws: Vidyadharan & Vijayakumari, Vipin & Family, Athira & Family, Arathi & Family Family: Loving cousins, Uncles and Aunts, Grandparents

Family Members & Coaches of Manju K Manohar: ● ● ● ● ● ●

Parents: Manoharan K A and Mini Manoharan Husband Sujish and her son Sameer K S Siblings: Madhu & Roshan, And Manu & Pooja. In-laws: Divakaran K S & Subhadra(Late), Sushanth & family, Smt Padmavathi Family: Super Supportive cousins, affectionate Uncles & Aunts, and her grandparents Coaches: Tony Robbins, John Mattone, Vikram Dhar, Dr N.Shalini, for helping her unleash her full potential. Special thanks to Coach Snehal who first invited her to write a book (which did not materialise at that point of time).

Both the authors thank their teachers & friends especially from their schools, colleges, offices, Toastmasters International, Rotary International, Panjab University (Dept of Zoology), Professional Speakers Association of India, International Coaching Federation & Successgyan for inspiring them. Special thanks to Thomas Abraham & Kiruba Jacob for encouraging the authors, when the going seemed really tough. Thank you Dr Thomas George and his “Masterminds” group. Thanks to friends Deepak Yeshwanth, Abhishek Jha, Mubeen Irshad, Leena G S, Saro Velrajan, Nina John, Barani Kumar, Aruna, Palani, the S&S Family(Sivakumar, Savitri & Sagarikka) because them becoming authors inspired the authors too. Thanks to lawyer Sunil Jose & Mithlesh (of AuthorsTree Publishing) for their tremendous support. Thank you Jahnavi & Akshat Tewatia for your support as well.

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Table of Contents 1.

What famous people say a. Sarada Menon b. Suhasini Manirathnam c. Mala Maniyan

2.

Foreword a. Wing Commander Bellie Jayaprakash b. Dr A P Jayaraman Menon c. Dr Narayan Iyer d. Mr. H. Krishnamurthy e. Dr Kumar Ganesan f. Avinash Chandra g. Ms. Gayathri Pushkar

3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19.

Acknowledgements About the Authors (Co-creators) Introduction Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Pearls of Wisdom from Dr Rajammal Testimonials Reference Appendix a. Glossary b. Acronyms c. Artifacts d. Mention in Press or Mass Media e. Photographs f. Recipe of “ThuppaDhittu”, a Badaga Dessert

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What famous people say (About Dr Rajammal) Dr M. Sarada Menon [Late] The first woman psychiatrist of India [Padma Bhushan Awardee (Government of India Civilian Award)] Special Award Recipient of the International Association of Psycho-Social Rehabilitation, Boston “My congratulations to you for having received the best teacher award from the President. I am sure all the students whom you train imbibe all your goodness and talent and bring credits to you and yours.”

Suhasini Manirathnam (Director/Actor & Social Activist, India) Rajammal’s is a loud and clear voice when most of the women are muted. Against all odds, she has swam against the tide to be a winner. A winner who shares her wisdom with the less privileged ones. Her work as a teacher is commendable and her contribution to the society is praiseworthy. She is a role model to many who are achievers and also to those who are yet to achieve.

Mala Maniyan (Film Producer, TV Anchor) Rajammal teacher, as soon as I hear that name anytime, anywhere I smile and feel so proud. She is a classic example of how a teacher should be disciplined, strict, warm, supportive, motherly, empathetic, unbiased, practical, honest, sincere, selfless; the list goes on. That's why it's difficult to find a rare gem like her. I feel so happy and blessed to have met her in my lifetime. Wishing and praying that she inspires more and more youngsters so that the society at large becomes a better place to live.

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Foreword Wing Commander Bellie Jayaprakash (B.E., M.B.A)

Coonoor Sometimes, it becomes difficult to make a choice not because of the lack of knowledge but due to the sheer abundance of matter and material available on the subject. In Dr.R Rajammal's (Rajma to me) case, when commanded and commended to write a foreword to the book "The Lady with a Magic Lamp - Dr. R Rajammal" by Dr. Aswathy & Manju K Manohar, I was pleasantly surprised but hugely honoured when I was requested to write this foreword. For her achievements in many fields, be it in education - especially for girl children, social service to the elderly or empowerment of women, Dr Rajammal stands out, and is a huge source of inspiration and motivation. She is one of those rare persons who converted challenges, to stepping stones for her success, against all odds. Where others saw only darkness and gave up, Rajma found a source of light and moved ahead. Her life is full of such incredible instances. This is a must read book for motivation and inspiration that brings out the undeniable fact that where there is a Will, confidence and courage, swimming against the current is very much possible. As shown by Dr.R. Rajammal. Her Magic Lamp truly throws light that can lead to a better world! Note: This is an abridged version of the original message. Detailed version is present towards the end of the book in the testimonial section.

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Dr A P Jayaraman Menon (Retired Nuclear Scientist (BARC, India) Who has worked with the Great Indian Scientist Dr A P J Abdul Kalam] Kerala State award winner for Children’s Literature for his story “The RO Man”

It is pure professional pleasure to speak about a humanitarian and public service so ably and so admirably delivered by our own Rajammal. She is a jewel on the crown of Indian development foundation in all its educational and philanthropic activities. My first meeting with Rajammal was at Nilgiris (about) some 7 years ago. She is affectionately known as the queen of the Blue Mountains. She had invited me for a series of school science talks in the area which is famous for some of the finest boarding schools of the world. She is a grassroot leader. She worked for the community immersively (in an immersive manner) for the community sensitively feeling and responding to every pulse of the community. Her contribution to Indian development foundation is spectacular. As a senior social ambassador she connects us to children and to schools. Connections apart she creates an ethos and a mindset of altruism and philanthropy in the young minds, what nature has given in a small measure is nurtured by her in a large measure, then it becomes a sustainable trait in the young impressionable mind. That contribution is to the next generation of inestimable value. When I look at her philosophy of life one thing stands out, she believes that a good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. I wish her all success in her altruistic endeavours. I am sure this book about her would inspire many to behave in a more empathetic manner with fellow human beings. Note: This is an abridged version of the original message. Detailed version is present towards the end of the book in the testimonial section.

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Dr. Narayan Iyer CEO of IDF (NGO) Social Worker

Rajammal madam is known as a great social worker, social activist and a social reformer, hailing from a remote village of the Nilgiris (Tamil Nadu State, India). Rajammal madam has been associated with Indian Development Foundation for over 15 years now. She joined as a social ambassador, supporting a lot of causes, particularly related to education, empowerment of the poor and the downtrodden and eradication of leprosy and Tuberculosis (TB). In short I could summarise by stating that Rajammal madam is a great icon and is a great inspiration for all of us. Dr. Pillai and team IDF join me in wishing her every best on the occasion of the launch of her biography “The Lady with the Magic lamp”. It’s very rare to find such a selfless type of person in this world. Our salutations to madam Rajammal. Jai ho! To her. I am sure this book about her would inspire people around the world. Note: This is an abridged version of the original message. Detailed version is present towards the end of the book in the testimonial section.

Mr. H. Krishnamurthy, Assistant Commissioner of Police, Nunthala village and Post the Nilgiris (now working with Chennai Intelligence)

Dr. R.Rajammal is far from being just another jewel in the crown of the Badaga Community. She has truly transformed into an inspirational identity- not only by being the first woman from our community to receive several accreditations,(including from the President), but predominantly for the noble purpose towards which she chose to be committed to. Her journey, from humble beginnings to national level accreditation, is simply remarkable. The amazing woman she is, I truly believe the number of accolades she has received is far less than the number of children who have acquired her help to achieve their dreams. As a fellow member of the community and a well-wisher I am

ix | THE LADY WITH THE MAGIC LAMP

really proud of my sister who is a role model for every girl child. I am more than obliged to thank her for contributing in making this world a better place. I wish her all the success in life. Indubitably, she is a LADY WITH A MAGIC LAMP..! Let her shine always. Ollithagali.

Dr. Kumar Ganesan (Founder of AIM school and Ph.D from IIT Madras with 5 years of Post Doctoral research experience with a Nobel Laureate H.C.Brown (USA)

I met Dr. Rajammal a few years ago when I was invited to a science and technology meet in her school. It took less than a minute for us to get connected on our first meeting for a science meet in her school. She is full of Knowledge, Experience and Enthusiasm. We have been in constant touch since our first meeting as I’m also in the field of education. Her love for children is one thing I have to mention. She knows the first and the last name of every student. For her dedication to academics, she was awarded an honorary doctorate. I take this opportunity to thank Manju K Manohar and her friend Dr. Aswathy Rajan for taking the initiative to appreciate the much deserved achievements of Dr. Rajammal. Long live. Note: This is an abridged version of the original message. Detailed version is presented towards the end of the book in the testimonial section.

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Avinash Chandra [Scientist at ISRO] M.Tech from California Institute of Technology (Former Student of Dr Rajammal)

School teachers have a very impactful role in the lives and growth of students, and I believe that Rajammal ma’am has set a very high benchmark for educators all over the world to take motivation and guidance from. Even today, at an age when most people love to retire, Rajammal ma’am is providing service for the destitute and under-privileged. The President Medal for excellence in teaching that Rajammal ma’am received several years back, is a testimony to her dedication to her work. I cherish my fortunate association and relationship with Rajammal ma’am and wish her good health, and happy and peaceful living. I sincerely hope that this book will inspire people from all parts of the world. I am sure, this would be a great read for parents, teachers and students alike, in their respective journeys to become extraordinary and in their pursuit of excellence.

Ms. Gayathri Pushkar (“Wall Watchers” Film Producer & Director)

I have known Mrs. Rajammal through my aunt Mrs. Kala Kanagasabapathy, who runs Sarvalayam, an Old age and Girls home for the poor and needy. Every time I meet Mrs. Raajamma, I discover a new and lovely aspect of her. She is always full of spirit, waiting to make the world around her a better place with every little gesture and action. She has dedicated her life in this pursuit and her contributions in the field of education are remarkable to say the least. Her journey from humble beginnings to where she is now, spreading light and hope around her is truly inspirational! Her work at Sarvalayam has just begun but one can see the effect she has on the young girls she mentors there. She has instilled confidence and more importantly a sense of ambition to the girls at Sarvalayam. I wish her the very best in all her endeavors!

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Acknowledgements By Dr R.Rajammal President’s Awardee Teacher & Social Worker Dear Readers, When the authors Manju K Manohar and Dr. Aswathy Rajan approached me about this project, I did not want to hide anything. I have laid bare my story, including the mistakes I have made in my life. I have also mentioned the lessons that I had learnt over a period of time from various inspirational figures. My motto has always been “Never Never Never give up”, “Be Kind and Helpful to others”, and “Do your duty with utmost dedication”. I was the first in my family to complete graduation. It was only due to education that I could help myself as well as my family. Hence I urge all of you to invest time and energy in self-growth and learning. I have made my fair share of mistakes. But I never gave up. It was not easy for me being a single mother, or going against my community in choosing a spouse and later finding myself in a really dire situation. Connect with others, respect them and love them. I am eternally grateful to the following people for what I am today in life: 1. 2.

3.

4. 5. 6.

Mr and Mrs. Ramachandran – my parents for helping me go to a college and secure a graduation degree. Mr D.K Krishnan – Horticulture officer. He encouraged me and convinced my parents to send me to college when I scored good in SSLC (tenth grade) at my village school. Dr K Arulmolichelvan –Radiologist & Dr Poongothai Arulmolichelvan, Gynaecologist, Arun Hospital, Erode. But for them and their timely medical intervention, my son Prithvi and myself would not have been alive today. The Nuns & staff of Providence College who gave foundation to a rustic Badaga girl and made her stand tall. Devasahayam Uncle and Nesamani Aunty, Thiruvanmiyur, who were loving guardians for me and my brother at Chennai KannanJi and Lalitha Maami. 32 years of friendship, love and care provided for me and prithvi. They are my second set of parents and their home at Chromepet is my refuge whenever I face issues in life.

May you learn from my mistakes and experiences and hope you find this book useful in some way. Yours Lovingly Dr R.Rajammal

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About the Authors (Co-creators) Manju K Manohar is an ICF Certified Career Coach and Certified Career Counsellor (University of California) with 21 years of experience. She comes with a rich management experience at MNCs (with 18+ years of experience). She is a certified NLP Practitioner and loves helping people become a better version of themselves. She has secured the highest level of Educational certification by Toastmasters International which is "Distinguished Toastmasters". She was President of Infosys Shols Toastmasters club and was awarded Star Area director for 2019-20. She set up 20+ gavel clubs for children in one year as Tamilnadu chair for youth leadership and gavel clubs. She is the director of Voluntary services at RC Neithal, by Rotary International. She has studied Engineering and obtained an MS from BITS Pilani. Currently she is doing a course in Marketing and Sales from Indian Institute of Management Kozhikode and she admires Dr APJ Abdul Kalam. She loves meeting people and helping them and believes that "Together We all can make this a better World"

Dr. Aswathy Rajan is a former scientist with 8 years of experience in research, working as a young scientist at the Dept. of Zoology, University of Madras. She has published many research papers in National and International scientific journals. She has received the Young Scientist Award from the Zoological Society, Kolkata, India. She obtained B.Sc, M.Sc, M.Phil and the Doctorate in Zoology (Parasitology) from Panjab University, Chandigarh (20022013). Her keen interest in education led her to obtain B.Ed and M.Ed degrees. She is an aspiring edupreneur and Founder-Director of Success E-Learning. She is also a former principal of a CBSE school. She is a social ambassador of Indian Development Foundation and loves to work for social welfare activities and has also received a Social Impact Award from the IDF. She is a charter president of the Dynamic Leaders Forum Toastmasters Club, Toastmasters International. She is a Member of CReNIO (Centre For Research on New International Economic Order) Established at CReNIEO Pulicat Field Centre and works with the scientific team.

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Introduction Manju K Manohar: What impressed me the most about Dr Rajammal One day, my son Sameer, who was then studying in the first standard(grade) of Kendriya Vidyalaya No.2 AFS Tambaram school, came home and asked me to send him 1 kilogram(approximately 2.2 pounds) of rice the next day. I was then working at Infosys Technologies as a project Manager. I was puzzled by this strange request. My son used to eat very little cooked rice. Why does he want 1 kg of rice? Then Sameer innocently replied, “Amma, I don’t want cooked rice but uncooked as one Rajammal madam has asked us to bring”. So the next day, taking permission from my office, I went to meet this lady. She smiled at me and patiently explained to me that this was part of the “Give back to society” initiative that she was spearheading at that school. Each student could donate 1 kg of rice or flour or pulses or sugar on Independence Day and this would be aggregated and sent to an orphanage. I was totally impressed. I had never heard of any such initiative in any other school. There were more than 2000 students in that school. So basically more than 2000 Kg of rice could be collected (crowd funding might have taken inspiration from Dr Rajammal). I immediately asked my friends at Infosys and they too pitched in. However, the sad part is once Dr Rajammal madam left the school, this initiative also stopped. I sincerely request teachers worldwide to adopt this practice. At Least once a year, please do crowdsourcing because in this manner, each and every student gets an invaluable lesson for life that even they can help people in need, in their own small ways. No act of kindness is too small just like the proverb goes “Little drops of water make the mighty ocean”. Secondly, what impressed me about her was her tenacity and her “Never never never give up spirit” and her boldness. These qualities helped her escape the fate of being a child marriage victim and later these very qualities helped her live life with head held high as a divorcee and single mother. Thirdly, what amazed me was her infinite kindness towards others. She would pay fees of financially challenged students from her own salary. Her heart melts when she sees others suffer.

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Fourthly, I was impressed by her work ethics and her sense of innovation and zeal for teaching. She imbibed a keen interest in her students for the subject that she used to teach. For example, while she was teaching my son in class 4(Grade 4), she gave a holiday homework (assignment) to read the newspaper daily and find a new word and also use a dictionary to find its meaning. This helped her students in improving their vocabulary. Not just that, they also developed the habit of reading newspapers and also learnt to use a dictionary. Lastly, I have been spellbound by her oratory skills, compering skills & organizing skills and her sense of punctuality and discipline. She goes to sleep early at a predetermined time each day. She arrives at school ahead of most other teachers (as recounted by her own colleague Mrs Vinitha of KVS). She is a role model for not just women but also for all human beings. She is a self-made person who has come up in life by dint of sheer hard work, sincerity, utmost dedication and she never hesitates to help anybody in need. She is an expert fundraiser and helps the needy. She had to fight against discrimination (based on the colour of skin) right from her childhood and come up in life. She believes that education and a positive attitude coupled with courage and kindness can make any person successful! I am attaching her profile below for your perusal:

PROFILE Dr. R. Rajammal (Alias Raji alias Rajma alias Rajamma) QUALIFICATION

:

B.Sc., M.A., M.Ed., PGDGC

ADDITIONAL QUALIFICATION: PG Dip in Guidance & Counseling PROFESSION : Educational Consultant, Teacher Trainer, Social Ambassador, Motivational Speaker TEACHING EXPERIENCE

:

35 years.

SCOUTING & GUIDING

:

ALT (ASST. LEADER TRAINER)

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She is a grassroot leader. She worked for the community immersively, sensitively feeling and responding to every pulse of the community. AP Jayaraman Menon, Nuclear Scientist (BARC, India)

Rajammal’s is a loud and clear voice when most of the women are muted. Suhasini Manirathnam, Director/Actor, Social Activist This is a must read book for motivation and inspiration that brings out the undeniable fact that where there is a Will, confidence and courage, swimming against the current is very much possible. Wing Commander Bellie Jayaprakash, Coonoor Coming from a very humble background, in the tribal belt of Nilgiri, reaching upto this greater height, becoming a teacher, motivator, counsellor. Inspired by her many children have come up in life. She has been spreading happiness wherever she went. Narayan Iyer, CEO of IDF (NGO), Social Worker

About Authors

Manju K Manohar

Dr. Aswathy Rajan

Manju K Manohar is an ICF Certified Career Coach and Certified Career Counsellor (University of California) with 21 years of experience. She comes with a rich management experience at MNCs (with 18+ years of experience). She is a certified NLP Practitioner and loves helping people become a better version of themselves. She has secured the highest level of Educational certification by Toastmasters International which is "Distinguished Toastmasters". She was president of Infosys Shols Toastmasters clubs and was awarded Star Area director for 2019-20. She set up 20+ gavel clubs for children in one year as Tamilnadu chair for youth leadership and gavel club. She is the director of Voluntary services at RC neithal, by Rotary International. She has studied Engineering and obtained MS from BITS Pilani. Currently she is doing a course in Marketing and Sales from Indian Institute of Management Kozhikode and she admires Dr. A PJ Abdul Kalam.She loves meeting people and helping them and believes that "Together We all can make this a better World" Dr. Aswathy Rajan is a former scientist with 8 years of experience in research. She has published many research papers in National and International scientific journals. She has received the Young Scientist Award by Zoological Society, Kolkata, India. She obtained B.Sc, M.Sc, M.Phil and the Doctorate in Zoology (Parasitology) from Panjab University, Chandigarh (2002-2013). She is also a former principal of a CBSE school. She is the Founder and Director of Success E-Learning. She is a social ambassador of Indian Development Foundation and loves to work for the social welfare activities. She is a charter president of Dynamic Leaders Forum Toastmasters Club, Toastmasters International. She is a Member of CReNIO (Centre For Research on New International Economic Order) Established at CReNIEO Pulicat Field Centre and works with the scientific team

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