MEGHA

ISBN: 9798885696203

Sometimes all we need is little hope and trust in YOU.

Content Acknowledgment Page no. 1.

The Engagement Day

01

2.

Is It Guilt?

12

3.

Hey Neighbour!

18

4.

Perfect Two!

26

5.

The Party Night

33

6.

Who was there?

41

7.

Unconditional Love

47

8.

Aur Tum

56

9.

Backpedaling

64

10. Tragic Turn

85

11. Tattoo

95

12. New Beginning

104

13. The Bloody Truth

109

14. Kintsugi

119

Acknowledgment I wrote the story but I would never be able to conclude it without the help of my few friends and family support. At first thank god for all the small miracles you had done. Thanks to my parents and friends for their faith and support which helped me to lead the story to the end. I thank Puja Patel for giving me the idea of my characters. Christeena Thomas thanks to listening to my rough idea and guiding me which ultimately turned out into a whole story. Among my friends group I used to be storyteller, I never thought about writing a story. Special thanks to Archana Nair for insisting me to write it down. In the long time period of writing down a novel we need dedication which comes from motivation. Thanks to Verma Roshni and Shreya Bhat for motivating me in my low times and helped me to stay focused. I am bad at naming the characters and the chapter names so thanks Sakshi Singh for helping me out with this situation. I thank Payal Chaudhari for helping me to finalize the cover page and Harsh Srivastava to picturized my imagination into the book cover which you are holding in your hand. Special thanks to SauravSuman Poddar for helping me out with the publication part and for the feedback.

Chapter 1 The Engagement Day

‘A terrible morning like this was a curse. The loud, piercing siren sound, distant chatter was just enough to wake people up near the Osmania area. The flashlight of cameras rose before the sun rise. The reporters were trying to make their neck as long as a giraffe to get a glimpse of the terrible scene. The police rolled down the crime tape blocking their ways and redirecting the vehicle by placing the traffic cones. The tar of road turned red. The fresh blood smell was knocking at everyone’s nostrils. The ambulance came into the site and carried out the blood oozed out body and the living ones with them.’ ***** Life, it was full of complicated mystery. It has given us everything from the sweetest surprise to the bitter shock. When my life gave me the shocking surprise I was not able to even recognize myself. But I should admit it that these hard situation made me strong. I am not that dumb-ass girl who cried in very hard situation of her life or criticized the way her life was going instead of that I learned to find a solution for the things. I am now the better version of myself compared to the past. I started valuing my existence and my own potentials. After the tragic incident, I learned that I should not gave up that easily, when life pushes us to the dark tragic world we should stand high and fight back. So I collected the shattered pieces of mine, completed my degree and shifted to a new city, far away from Delhi about a distance of 2,163.9 km via NH for my job. Many thing changed and one of the main highlight thing was that I could cook food without the help of a cook book or asking Aakash or Tanu aunty about the recipe on the call (although not a great achievement I know). Jokes apart, many things changed.

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Life was going without a hitch when I decided to take a great step in life. I was at Delhi at that time, as Aakash’s parent forced me to come back home to celebrate my 25th birthday together. They invited some close relatives, neighbours and friends. After my past trauma, I started hating gatherings. My policy for happiness was limited people was equal to unlimited happiness. So I never wanted to face bunch of people around me and attack me with their continuous questions. The only person who helped me to get out of these situations was himAakash. I didn’t know how he always made situations easy for me, I didn’t know how he always managed to make the smile wider under my nose when my eyes were in too pain. He was always there for me with a caring heart. At that night also he succeeded to escape me from the party and took me to the terrace for some fresh air to get rid of the turmoil. As though, it was my favorite spot for every occasion of my life. When my maa used to scold me I used to come here and cry and as usual Aakash consoles me. When I got 3rd prize in slow cycle race we both celebrated it here with chai and samosa. The breeze and the whole city twinkling under the wings of shades of blue soothed my heart always. While sitting under the widespread stars with him, holding a glass of wine in one hand, head on his shoulder and a mesmerizing breeze act like adding chocolate chips on the top of the cookies. This all seemed to be picture perfect for me. ‘So when were you returning back to Bangalore?’He asked me. ‘I was going back tomorrow but I extended the leave for 2 more days,’ I told him. ‘Why? Was everything alright?’ he queried. ‘Yeah, everything was fine.’ ‘Then, what happened? Why were you extending the leave?’ He was looking eagerly into my eyes for an answer. I was little confused plus I was drowning in the ocean of nervousness and felt fraction of excitement too. I put down the glass of wine aside, hold his face firmly in my hands, moved little forward. The distance between us decreased and our forehead touched each other. 2

‘I never had this feeling for anyone else before. I didn’t knew when did I started falling for you but when the feeling aroused I just wanted to be yours. I just wanted you to be a part of my soul,’ I said and paused for a while. ‘So could I be your Megha Aakash Pillai for the rest of our life?’ I said in one breathe. ‘Idde kekam vendi nyam epopthote wait cheguariunu,’ he said. (Something said in Malayalam which was out of my knowledge). ‘Wait… what?’ I asked him. His eyes were already filled with tears. He laughed and embraced me in his arms and whispered in my ears, ‘It would be my privilege to call you by my name’. We hugged each other many times before but this time it was something special. I wept with joy and hold him tighter. He released his arms free and holds my face in his hand. My heart was beating on the top of the race as I sensed his warm breathe on my face. He pressed his soft lips on my forehead. His beard was too short but still it poked me. After a few seconds of hesitation I crossed my head, went a little close till our lips touched. And the kiss happened. The thing which I had seen in the movie and read in the novel was experienced by me for the first time. It felt clumsy but it was special. I felt that he was the one for me. ***** 13th April (3 months after the night) ‘Mummy, could I go and play with Vineth?’ screamed a small girl. ‘Tanu did you called the catering service?’ inquired a lady, I certified the voice. It was my Maa’s sugar coated voice. I could recognize her voice in a fraction of second even when my brain generates delta waves. I also sensed a bunch of ladies around me.

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‘Mummyyyyyyyy, could I go?’ she again yelled and this time her high pitch voice ripped my sleep completely. I leisurely opened my eyes and looked around the wide world. ‘Good morning beta,’ said Tanu aunty. I smiled and greeted her back, ‘good morning aunty.’ ‘Beta, make habit of calling me Maa’ she said with an ear to ear smile. The ladies around me giggled and I nodded. I stretched my hands, folded my legs and sat in a comfortable manner. Meanwhile Maa wheeled her wheelchair into the kitchen and bought a piping bed tea for me. I took it from her. The spontaneous emission of molecule rose in the form of mini clouds; I blew it so that I couldn’t burn my tongue and looked around the hustle and bustle which encircled me. I eagerly wanted to do the engagement in south Indian culture but I never knew that my decision would spike me up at 6 in the morning. (According to the Aakash family its shubh to get engage in the morning) I was surprised looking around. Maa and Tanu aunty, meri hone wali sasu Maa (my future mother- in -law) both were ironing my green saree which had an embroidered golden border with great efforts; papa was scrutinizing the work done by the decorators in the living room, the children were actively playing early in the morning and I was one who was still the sleepy head here, convincing myself to leave my bed behind. ‘Beta, finish the cup, take bath and get ready faster’ Maa said in a gasped. ‘The Muharat was at 7:35,’ added Tanu aunty. ‘So do everything fast.’ I nodded and took sip slowly and enjoyed the flavors of tea. I looked at Maa; she and Tanu aunty were still staring at me. So before they blew a fuse, I gulped the tea in one breathe; burnt by oesophagus on their way to my stomach, put the cup on the side table , plugged in my phone , took the towel ,went straight into the bathroom and gasped finally. I looked around, walked closer to the mirror. I looked myself. Nothing was perfect in me. My hair strands fallen out, even my boobs were not impressive and the jaw line was not even in the competition. He had a 4

perfect masculine body with a pair of cute dimple. He could get a better girl than me, with sharp jaw line and big impressive boobs probably then why he agreed to marry me?? I took a deep breath and started brushing my teeth; from incisor to the second molar in left and then in the right. I didn’t ask him that he loves me or not. I just directly jumped into the conclusion that he also loves me. What if he didn’t? What if he was just doing all this so that I couldn’t get hurt again? All the questions in my mind where haunting me. What if he was compromising with all this? The thought of compromise pressed heaviness around my chest. The buzzing of ladies was good enough to catch my attention back to the reality. I washed my face, left my hair open and undressed. I walked to the shower area and turned it on. The hot drops rolled down from my face to the boobs and to the groin and finally reached to very curve of my body slowly. My anxiety and the haunting questions oozed out with the flow, thoughts were vaporizing and the choc-a-bloc of thoughts was clearing out for a while. I turned off the shower and wrapped the towel around my pale body. The spooky voices of ladies were no more heard. I stepped into my room and locked it before anyone would step inn. The light of dayspring coming from the window was majestic; it filled my room with gold. I didn’t exactly remember that after how long I was seeing the morning at 6 but it felt great. It was not just a beginning of a new dawn but a new f**king life. I walked toward the window, slide down the curtains, peeked out and saw the decorators placing a warm welcoming sign board just 10 feet away from the gate. It had written “Welcome to Megha and Aakash’s engagement ceremony”. I didn’t know that it was the word engagement or the cold breeze of the cockcrow that made me shiver. I knew that I am not ready for this but I have to do this, for their happiness. They couldn’t suffer for me like this anymore. ‘Beta get ready fast,’ Maa said by knocking at the door. ‘Ha Maa,’ I responded, eyes still glued at the welcoming board and I sighed.

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I was floating over the sea of excitement and a little nervousness while sitting in front of the mirror and looking at the curls that the makeup artist had done on my short hairs. Technically I was all alone in the room but with my sense of eyes the room was suffocating me with tension, music, distant chatter, and perfumes making their way to my olfactory system. At that time someone entered my room. ‘Was the bride ready for the engagement,’ screamed papa over the top of his lungs with a handy cam in his hand. He was my personal video maker, as he wanted to capture every glimpse of the special moment of my life. ‘Almost,’ I said and smiled looking at him through the mirror. While he was zooming into my face and covering a little footage of the room by rounding around in 360 degree, he asked breaking the silence, ‘Beta, were you happy with this?’ ‘What were you pointing at papa?’ I interrogated. He came in front of me, placed the cam on the dressing table, bend down and sat on his knees, held my hand and said, ‘with……with him, this engagement and all this which was going to happen today?’ ‘Yes papa,’ I said and pressed his hand firmly. ‘I wanted all this. It was happening in the same way I wanted it to be.’ He took a deep breath and questioned ‘Beta do you love him?’ ‘I- -I- had seen the struggle, the struggle he had done for me. I have seen the pain in his eyes for me. He- -he was always there for me to rub my back, he tried hard to bring me back and he did all these because he loves me.’ ‘Beta, I asked you that do you love him or not? And didn’t do this because of pity and guilt,’ he snapped looking straight into my eyes. ‘I knew he was there with you in your hard times, struggling for you but that didn’t mean that you have to accept his proposal in return.’ ‘Papa I am not doing this because of guilt or pity,’ I said. ‘I also love him papa. I never sensed this vibe for anyone before and that’s why I proposed him. Trust me.’ He smiled and hugged me. I knew that it was an unsatisfactory smile. I didn’t know why he was thinking like that? 6

‘Beta, remember one thing, no matter what happens I would be there with you in every step of your way.’ I nodded and hugged him tighter. ‘If at certain point you think you didn’t want to marry him then just tell me. I would be there for you. You didn’t have to compromise for anything.’ he added and kissed by head. ‘What was going on here,’ Maa interrupted. ‘Was everything okay?’ We both nodded and we wiped each other’s tears. ‘Shyam it was not her vidai today, it’s just an engagement,’ said Maa. ‘And if it was then also you both didn’t had to sob like this. She was going to live next door, if you want to meet her you just had to cross the damn 5cm wide door.’ A smile popped up on papa’s face. It was true, as Aakash and I were neighbours. ‘If your melodrama section was over then could we go and greet over guest?’ asked Maa. ‘Yeah, sure madam’ He said and pressed his lips against my forehead again. After they went, the silence of my room hit me. I started feeling suffocating, so I walked towards the window again for some fresh air. I saw some guest coming. We had decided to do the ceremony at terrace, so very few guest and some close friends were invited from both the sides .When I was busy in scrutinizing the guest, decorations meanwhile someone was pulling my saree. I turned around. I bent down and asked ‘Dev, What happened?’ He was my aunt’s younger child. ‘Bhaiya ne dene bola (brother told to give you),’ he said. He handed me a box wrapped in gift wrapper. As I took it from him, he ran away. ‘Aaaa … wait,’ I said but he vanished in the thin air. There was card stuck on the wrapper. Something was jotted on it: To my bride,

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I didn’t know how your name makes me blush now but I kind a like this feeling. I read and smiled. Opened the wrapper and found another 75*75 mm card. I didn’t know how thinking about you melts down the ice in my veins. I opened the box .There was a beautiful, arresting gold choker necklace with green stone and I found the last card beneath the necklace. I couldn’t explain how longggggg I had waited for this day and couldn’t believe that it was finally happening today. I just wanted to dance hard on our favorite song and sing it loud but you know I couldn’t do it now in front of our guest. I giggled. So I wrapped all the dance and excitement inside me, so that we could dance together like mad at your favorite spot soon. Waiting for you (madly). Yours one and only (little crazy like you) groom. ***** Misty changed the song to Dilbaro, as I walked into the terrace arm in arm with papa. Bad selection of song, not because it made me sob but it would definitely make my papa cry. I looked at him; his eyes were already floating with tears. As I was thinking about m papa in m mind’s eye, we reached the stage. The light pink square canopy drape was decorated with purple and yellow orchids. Aakash was sitting on the white cushioned chair at the centre. As he saw me; he came towards me and forwarded his hands to help me. Soon we both sat in our seats. He was wearing a sherwani set of blended cotton fabric in a subtle shade of green. The pattern seemed like the dendrites of the neuron. The buttons match the embroidery pattern golden 8

color and the mandarin collar was laced with gold. Although he was looking hot as usual. His hairs were pulled back in a small pony tail. In just one second the photographer gushed over the stage and insisted us to pose like to look each other, to hold hands, make a heart and blah, blah and blah. ‘I feel this like bullshit,’ I said to Aakash, when the photographer was gone. ‘Yeah, I know’ he said. ‘But it’s their right to annoy the groom and the bride on their special day.’ ‘Yeah, you were right’ I said and chuckled. ‘What a bright day,’ he said. I looked at the sky and nodded as a sign of disagree. ‘It’s cloudy today.’ ‘I was talking about your smile not about the weather,’ he said and smiled. ‘The brightness and warmness of your smile made my day.’ ‘Ohh God! A bad one,’ I said and laugh. ‘Today I would get the official license to flirt with you,’ he said and laughed. ‘That means I had to tolerate you and your cheap lines my entire life,’ I said and smirked. ‘Yeah,’ he said and smiled and his cute dimple popped out. ‘The shubh Muharat had stared,’ said papa. ‘So we should proceed to the ring exchange.’ Our parents ascended on the stage. Again the photographer appeared. Papa handed me the ring and Tanu aunty handed the ring to Aakash. He proffered the hand towards me; I hold it from the palm and pushed the platinum ring which had two small hearts imprinted on it, into his slender, elongated ring finger. He stuck his hand out. I forwarded my hand but pulled it back in a snap. He raised his eyebrow in the sense of questioning. ‘What if I fall for someone after our engagement,’ I said in a serious tone. ‘What if I found someone better than you?’ ‘Beta, what were you saying?’ Papa interrupted. I gestured papa to wait for 5 minutes. 9

He moved towards me and mumbled, ‘If anybody play gooseberry between us then--then definitely I would kill him.’ I learned towards him till I reached his ears. ‘What if he was not he and he was she?’ I whispered. ‘Then your parents would kill her,’ he said and we both fell about. Like most of the Indian presents, my families were also against the gay or lesbian relationship. They could tolerate the inter caste marriage but this was something which was intolerable for them. I proffered my hand and he nudged the ring gently. ‘Just stay still and smile looking each other holding her hand in yours,’ said the annoying photographer. I heard the shutter several times as he took quick sessions in a snap. ‘Done,’ he said and looked into his DSLR. I just flipped out by sitting like an idol. I hate photo shot except the candid one. I believe that ‘the plastic smile and say cheese’ spoils the moment with a shudder. Candid one were the best part, with a natural smile and unposed posed. We had arranged south Indian buffet, lined on the corner of the terrace. We both walked down there and sat on the chair facing each other. Misty handed us as plate filled with idli, meduvada, dosa, and sambhar and coconut chatni. Misty, Aakash’s sister. Anyone could say by seeing those two together that they were brother sister. They kind of look like twins but weren’t. Before we would start the villain of our story was again entered –the photographer. ‘Sir, take a bit of dosa and feed it to ma’am and ma’am do the same, and smile’ said the photographer. Seriously I screamed in my mind. Who the f**k would do something like this. But we did. He asked us to try few more poses and made 5-6 clicks. ‘I think you should go and take some photographs of our guest and family members,’ I said. After he gone, I rounded my eyes in sense of anger and said, ‘I think, he was the one playing goose berry between us.’

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‘Chill, it happens’ he said and laughed. ‘Look at your small tomatoes, its already boiling.’ ‘Tomatoes?’ ‘Your eyes,’ he said. ‘Hahaha. It was very funny,’ I taunted. He laughed and blinked. His closed set eyes twinkled in the sweaty afternoon and I wished for this dimple popping out smile to last forever. ∞

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