Monika Meena

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Darling, Can We Start Over?

For those who believe in Second Chances

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Monika Meena

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Darling, Can We Start Over?

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hat’s the worst thing that could happen at your wedding? Being an over-thinker, I had imagined every possible scenario that could go wrong today. From tripping in front of everyone while walking down the aisle to uttering the wrong name by mistake, I had prepared myself for everything. Nothing could go wrong today. I was going to have my dream wedding without any hiccup. I just wish I could breathe properly in my wedding gown. Glancing back at the reflection in the mirror, a smile fondled my flushed lips. I couldn’t believe the stunning girl in the wedding dress staring back in the mirror was really me. This was it! My day had finally come. To begin with, my teenage life was a major blunder. Plus, adulthood was not any breakthrough. All-in-all, life has never been much generous on me. But somehow I had landed a decent job. All I was proud of in my twenty-six years of existence was that I’d stolen a spot as a Resident Doctor at one of the reputed hospitals in Florence, Alabama and owned a small apartment there. But this was something else. Something far enduring, but in a terrifying way. This was serious. Because I was freaking getting married today! My hands stroked the marvelous texture of the dress. As a vintagelover, I always adored laces. And the wedding gown felt like my second skin. Exquisitely wrapped around my curves, with the long lacy sleeves beautifying the appeal of the gown.

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However, I was having a hard time holding back the cold tingling that surged in my chest. I couldn’t help but nibble on my lower lip. Battling to conceal the edginess from flickering on my face. Yet, it was the kind of worry that mingled easily with the great excitement ripening inside my heart. Rendering the emotions flow throughout my body like a thousand fireworks bursting at the same time. My thoughts soon drifted to the present when Ashley, my best friend and maid of honor, tapped on my shoulder. I released a sharp breath turning towards her. I smiled while bending a little as she fitted the veil on my head. These heels made me quite taller than my actual five-four stature. “I never thought I would ever say it, but I wish I was wearing that gown. This dress is a real killer, girl.” A chuckle left my mouth when she let out a teasing whistle, making my mother clear her throat. Ash was the one person who had stood by me through all the ups and downs of my life, and I was blessed to have her beside me on this big day. “Okay, ladies, it’s showtime. Everyone! Take your position at the altar.” All heads swiveled towards the door when my lovely wedding planner, Marcus, entered the room. And I witnessed Ashley letting out a deep sigh. “What position is he talking about?” I almost rolled my eyes at her dirty mind and nudged her shoulder to pop the daydreaming bubble that had started budding inside her head. “Okay, are you ready, Mrs. Future Romano?” Ash chirped with a wide grin. It felt weird yet so alluring to hear my future name from her mouth. I nodded in bliss and right at the moment she held my hands and we squealed in glee. Everything flew out of my mind but the notion of walking down the aisle and beholding Lucas Romano, my boyfriend of two years. I wondered if he would cry seeing me in this beautiful wedding gown. He better, or I would walk the hell out of there. “Okay, Ashley, you’re the maid of honor, so you should be on your heels too.” Groaning at Marcus she hugged me for one last time and whispered in my ear, “I know it’s random, but don’t run away from the altar. That is too cliché!”

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Darling, Can We Start Over?

“I promise!” I assured, squeezing her hands. Marcus shook his head at us, and then I was left alone. Once again, I rushed towards the mirror while adjusting my veil and let out a deep breath. “You look stunning, Sarah!” My dad gave a light squeeze to my shoulders to bestow some rest to my jiggles. I nodded at my reflection and turned around with a grin engraving my face. “Let’s get hitched then!”

With the beguiling melody pervading in the air, I placed my first foot inside the hall. I sought hard to settle down my racing heart and appreciated some people standing up from their seats. As for now, I had captured all the attention in that enormous hall. It was the moment I had been envisaging for a while now. And now that I was living it, I could tell it was nothing like I had imagined. The aisle fright was real. The walk, down the aisle was much longer than I had foreseen. My heels were not comfortable like that sales lady had made me believe. And the room was not swelling with silence, waiting for me to say ‘I do’. Squeals of children, who were still running around and screaming at the top of their lungs, filled my ears. I feared one would bump into me and make me fall face-flat in front of the whole crowd. All my senses were in overdrive, and my heart was struggling hard to jump out of my chest. Beads of sweat built over my forehead when I felt my father’s hands lightly squeezing mine. I looked back at him from the corner of my eyes and met with his subtle, reassuring smile. His mere gesture helped me to breathe a little and being less bothered about the fact that there was a good chance of this fairy-tale going straight down the hill. Or maybe I was just apprehending too much. Walking further down that artistic petal engraved aisle, my fingers grazed around the bouquet of red roses. The plastic wrap was making my hands sweaty, and I tightened my grasp around them.

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Monika Meena

My head lifted towards the altar, appreciating my man eagerly waiting for me. My lips curled up into a smile. Just a few more steps and I would be holding his hands. But right there something happened. Something bad that I had already envisioned in my nightmares. A little girl bumped into me, making me flounder a bit. My hands held out to my father for some life-saving support. Muffled gasps filled the room as I steadied myself back on my feet. My bewildered eyes lowered onto her when she just giggled at me innocently. Okay, you are cute, but don’t ruin my special day, angel. I smiled at her with tight lips and then she ran away, leaving me swelled up with the fear of embarrassing myself in front of all these people. But I focused on the brighter side of the moment. I was still very much standing on my feet. No major mishap had occurred. Yet! The music was still flowing, and my man was still waiting. I had to be strong and prove to be decisive about the situation. Thus, I kept on walking. Not allowing the worries to settle down in my heart and consequently ruin my special day. I sauntered with the same grace that I had practiced and we eventually arrived at the end of the aisle. I turned towards my dad and smiled as he gave my hand in Lucas’s. “I’m so proud of you, Ray. Always keep shining as you do.” I nodded warmly, barely holding myself back. He planted a kiss on my forehead and stepped back. “You look incredible, dear!” I bit my lower lip as he stole the perfect moment to lean closer and whisper the compliment in my ear while helping me step on the altar. The moment was so precious that I wished I could hold on to it forever. My eyes beamed with warmth, savoring the moment. Though my veil was an heirloom and had been passed down to every bride in my mother’s family tree, I was having a hard time looking through it. It was too opaque for my comfort. As if reading my mind Lucas lifted the veil and I caught a glimpse of Lucas’s captivating smile. It did a perfect job of putting my troubled heart at ease. He was everything a girl could ever wish to find in her partner.

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Darling, Can We Start Over?

The priest continued his sermon of addressing the guests. Narrating the wellness of our love. While all I could think of was how entrancing Lucas’s eyes were. He had enthralled all my thoughts. For the onlookers, we were merely smiling at each other. Holding each other’s hands. But on the inside, our anxious hearts were racing against the turbulence in our minds. The officiant stepped back a little, as it was now the time for our vows. And every single voice hushed down in the deepest corner of the room. Lucas let out a deep breath and squeezed my hands before jumping into his script. “Sarah Rose Walter.” My heartbeat commenced to rise to the unbearable threshold as he continued. “You’re the girl of my dreams who has brought...” He was curtailed short when a dreary commotion rose from the end of the hall. The pin-drop silence of the guests was interrupted by the clanking sound of now shattered glasses. The clatter echoed back through every corner of the room. It happened so quickly that before I could understand what was happening, my jaw hung open, witnessing the dancing curves of the flames swallowing the curtains. One after another. Almost instantaneously, the comforting glorious moment of the wedding whirled into a ground of utter chaos. Mayhem painted the area as everyone broke into a struggle to flee the place in great haste. The room stretched with screams and shouts, striking my heart with fear. Within a flash of seconds, everything around my eyes was burning down to ashes. A tear escaped my eye witnessing so many lives falling into danger when I heard my mother’s scream at my back. My head jerked towards the source of the voice, and a dreadful terror rose into my chest. Sickness crammed into my stomach, noticing her having difficulty in breathing. She was progressing too close to asphyxiation. My legs were weak, yet I fought to hurry towards her, only to be pulled back by my gown getting stuck into something. I had no time or patience to look for the cause. I plucked the garment as violently as I could, letting the fabric tear into chunks. But regardless of that, the hem of the dress remained tangled somewhere. I was imprisoned around the flares. The scorching heat of the flames was flushing my skin. My head swirled in every direction, witnessing the fire

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Monika Meena

starting to devour the altar. The entire section was ablaze. With hot black smoke encircling my essence, making me choke on my breath. “Sarah!” My head jerked towards the call, but it was hard to tell from where it came across in between all that pandemonium. I covered my face with the back of my hand when I felt something wrapped around my body and in the next moment, Lucas was by my side. “I got you, baby!” My terrified face shook at him in acknowledgment when I felt a weird sensation at the back of my mind. The feeling was so potent, yet so terrifying, that it made a chill run down my spine. I wanted to turn around and encounter the eeriness prevailing in the air. But Lucas held me unduly close to his torso, restricting any movements. We started to head towards the back door, yet I could sense my suspicion getting fierce. As if someone’s gaze was digging its claws into my back. It hurt in an unusual way, like a long-lost agony, and the wound was getting deeper with every step. I was withering away under that sensation. Settling my mind on the upheaval, my hands pressed on Lucas’s forearm when finally, I dared to jerk a little out of his grip and turn around. Only to welcome the worst, as my eyes met with the ghost of my past, ‘Ethan Stanton’. And that’s when I lost consciousness.

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Darling, Can We Start Over?

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he gates slid open, revealing the colossal house as my car entered the driveway. Arriving at the porch, the wheels came to a smooth halt, and I let out a sharp breath. The day had finally come to an end. A shaft of cold air greeted me upon exiting the vehicle, suggesting the entry of mild winter in San Francisco. After yet another hectic but successful week of traveling all over the country, nothing felt more relaxing. Home is after all, home. At the mere age of twenty-seven, I had made a place for myself in the vast hotel industry as the heir of ‘Stanton International’, a fast-emerging hospitality giant. I had expanded the business well beyond my father’s imagination. We had opened numerous hotels and resorts all over the world at almost all major holiday destinations. At first, my father was apprehensive of my big plans, but now he had realized I was really a man of my words. No doubt, I was entirely exhausted, burning the candle at both ends. But it was worth it. These past few hectic days did buy vast emoluments for the company. Another exquisite beauty of Stanton skyscraper would soon be decorating San Francisco’s skyline. I was satisfied with the labor I’d put into it. These sleepless nights were definitely paying off as the company shares were skyrocketing. Entering the living room, my eyes fell upon my sweetheart asleep on the couch. I knew she would be waiting for me even at this late hour. Despite countless messages conveyed to her to not wait for me as I was running late. She was not like the rest of the people in this house who would sleep peacefully in my absence. She was a beauty inside out. Every

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Monika Meena

time I looked at her, I tried to remember what I did right in my life to deserve a soul like her. I couldn’t hold myself back from admiring her. Pulling out a chair, I settled down beside her. Resting my chin on my palm, my eyes settled on her, noticing her striking face resting against the cushion and my mouth curved into a smile. She looked so calm and serene that I didn’t want to wake her up. Her wrinkled face told so many stories of her worries for me that I felt terrible for keeping her awake during these busy nights. Thus, planting a small kiss on her forehead, I slowly stood up. Carefully, not daring to make any noise, I turned around to exit the living area. To my dismay, my elbow brushed against a vase. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a loud clunking sound of the vase breaking into pieces echoed in the room. My head yanked towards her, noticing her abruptly sitting straight. I couldn’t hold back the chuckle that left my mouth when I noticed her looking all over the place. As if she was evaluating what century she had arrived in. She rested a hand over her heavily beating heart, panic overtaking her features. But the smile on my face fell flat when I realized she had caught me. “You! Stop right there!” Shit! You’re in big trouble, Ethan Stanton. I winced when my eyes squeezed shut. Assessing the Medusa that had woken up to turn me in stone. I cursed under my breath, measuring the intensity of wrath I was about to face at that moment. “It’s just a dream, sweetheart. Go back to your wonderland. A land full of fairies, pumpkins, and handsome princes.” I attempted to sound as magical as possible while I tried to glide away. “How old do you think I am, five?” I slowly turned towards her, smiling sheepishly. My breath caught in my throat when she pressed her hands flat on the table, holding my eyes with a death glare. And before I could have saved myself, she launched daggers of oranges in my direction. “Ethan Robert Stanton! You can’t run away from me. Where were you? Have you seen the clock?” I tried to duck as many bullets as possible. I was handling an open fire, and all I could do to save my six feet tall body was to hide behind a stupid, tiny briefcase.

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Darling, Can We Start Over?

The oranges were big enough to break my nose, and I had absolutely no chance in front of her. Good Lord, tonight this lady is in her real form. The ultimate incredible hulk. “You’re like a ray of sunshine...” I ducked another bullet. “... on a dark, drizzling day. Come on, Nanna. Why are you acting like a mad girlfriend?” And I welcomed another blow at me. “Because you’ve made me freaking nuts! Where have you been these past six days? Do you have any idea what time it is? Did you even have dinner? I swear, child, if you continue to starve yourself, I’ll be forced to push a pipe down your throat!” “And now you are smiling at me. Do I look funny to you?” She kept throwing fruits till she ran out of them. My amused face was making her mad enough to earn that little pout on her lips that melted me right away. I was enjoying her tantrums. The adorable fight, her delightful voice, just as she kept on yelling at me. I threw my head back, cracking even harder when she stomped her foot on the floor. “Well, if that is what you want, then don’t blame me when I’ll be at your office to kick your butt.” Her threat set my mouth in a hard line, my body now paralyzed. “The crazy, scary, clingy lady, says what?” I gave her a look that screamed she had one last chance to correct herself. But she just stood there, tall and presumptuous. With crossing her arms over her chest, the corner of her mouth lifted in a devious smug. That’s it! I have a reputation. If she is not going to back the hell up, then I’m going to make her. I took a good hold of her cheeks and pinched them. Till they turned crimson. A loud screech left her mouth, and I realized I had signed my own death warrant right there. “I love you, Nanna. But don’t ever think about coming to my office.” And I bolted. Ran in the opposite direction to save my life. “Get back here, you little monster.” She yelled in pain, rubbing her face all along.

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“Get some beauty sleep, gorgeous. You are getting old!” The corner of my lips lifted when I heard her whining about my behavior and then I climbed upstairs, fading away from her sight. My smile faded when I knew she no longer could see me. I felt bad for carrying it along with me all the time, but it was my best defense against the darkness of my soul. People like me walk around this earth with fake smiles and hollowness in our sad eyes, making others believe that we are happy with our lives. But that is all just bullshit. Why can’t we just accept our circumstances and stop pretending that we are alright? It’s okay to not be okay. I guess maybe we are too scared to reveal our true identity. Too scared to get hurt again. After taking off my jacket, I entered the password on the safe to keep the documents in safety of my room when a red file captured my attention. ‘You are a disgrace to this family!’ My breath quickened when a painful memory flashed in front of my eyes. The air in the room thickened and I couldn’t hold myself back from retaining it against my pale, cold hands. The sheer touch of the fabric of that old tattered file ran a shiver down my spine. The papers inside the folder had aged to the extent they had turned pale. But their imprint on my heart was still fresh, like a recent wound. It was no longer bleeding, but the pain and suffering were still there. My hands started to tremble when I turned over the cover of the folder. My mind already knew, but my eyes still begged to see what was behind that closed record. Fingers pleading to feel the touch of that beautifully carved handwriting, the photographs. But I was a coward, who had no strength to face it. My heart couldn’t take it and instantly, I put the file back into the case and shut the door, as if my sanity depended on it. And then, memories of the day that had been plaguing me from the past nine years came back to haunt me again… 

Shaking my head on the beat of the music, my forehead furrowed, hearing some commotion in the background. The voices were just mumbles. And my brows snapped together when the intensity increased with every passing second. 

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Darling, Can We Start Over?

“For God’s sake, please tell me what happened, Jonathan?” My Mother’s voice echoed in the house. Plucking down my headphones, my eyes narrowed at my closed door, and right then, I heard a loud hammering on my door. My body jerked up in alarm from the bed. The color drained out of my face as my bemused eyes stared at the door. “Maria, don’t you dare come between us this time!” My breath quickened. A shiver ran down my spine at hearing my dad’s hysterical, sharp voice from downstairs. My hands squeezed into fists, not daring to twirl the dial of the door. I felt safe in my room. I believed if I stepped out, I might face some trouble. I was stoned out of my mind and had no idea if it was happening for real or if it was all just another wild, vivid dream I was experiencing. My legs were shaking, and all I wanted to do was to hide under my bed and never to be found by anybody. “Ethan! Ethan Robert Stanton!” I jumped out of my skin. His voice rooted me on the spot. I was breathing hard, struggling to inhale some air in my lungs. My hands started to shake, just as loud empty gasps expunged from my trembling lips. Terror overtook my mind, and I continued to blink at the closed door. “Get your ass down here!” And in no time, I was sprinting downstairs, with my mother at my heels. My heart was pounding like anything. What has gotten into him? The intensity of his voice was enough for me to calculate the rage searing through him. I was so terrified that even the thought of being present in the same room with my father raised a panic in my heart. I wanted to run far away from him and hide in a safe haven. Just when I descended the last step, I dared to look up and gasped, witnessing my dad simmering with anger. I never for once dared to meet his eyes. I didn’t realize when my Mom passed me and was now standing beside my angry father, trying to calm him down while his eyes were desperately searching for me. And at last, he turned around, resting his intense gaze on me. I hastily bowed my head, struggling to keep my senses on track. I couldn’t move, nor could breathe. Beads of sweat built against my forehead, and I winced when his voice assailed my ears. “There you are!” My eyes were cemented to the floor. While my mind was struggling to find the reason behind his wrath. “Do you know this girl, son?” I flinched at his menacing tone. But then my brows snapped together. What girl? I perceived there was someone else present in that big space except the three of us.

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