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Zarina’s

Lunchbox DEMYSTIFYING

a MOTHER’S Love

the Doula

W I N T ER 2020

US AFTER

Baby

y o j

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CONTENTS

LETTER

6 NOTE FROM

THE EDITOR

BABY

8 BIRTH & BABIES 10 PROTECT YOUR BABY

FROM WIRELESS RADIATION

12 DEMYSTIFYING THE DOULA

KIDS

18 INSIDE THE MIND OF A LEARNING BOY

20 ZARINA’S LUNCHBOX 22 IT’S A WRAP 24 CULTIVATING YOUR CHILD’S GREEN THUMB

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4 PUBLISHER’S

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Winter

RECIPES

26 BANANA BREAD AS EASY AS 1-2-3

27 PIZZA DELIZIOSA

20

FINANCE

28 LIFE INSURANCE IS A MUST PARENTING

30 BLENDED: DECK THE HALLS WITH BLENDED FAMILIES

GRATITUDE

TEENS

A Mother’s Love

36 PUBLIC SPEAKING 101 17 Nursery Schools Directory 37 Schools Directory 38 Boarding Schools Directory 40 Birthdays 41 Word Search

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Cover Story 14

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32 US AFTER BABY 34 BERMUDA PARENTS SPEAK 35 HOW TO TEACH CHILDREN

PUBLISHER’S

LETTER

Welcome

to our Winter issue! After having conversations with other business owners, I’ve done plenty of reflection on the past six months of 2020. This “new norm” has been an eye opener for many. It’s shown us that we have a lot of catching up to do or that we are forward thinkers in the business world. If you are afraid of new technology, it’s time to jump right in feet first. It’s time to break out of your comfort zone! Take classes, stop being afraid to use the internet, learn how to use your smart phone to do more than make phone calls. If not, you will be left behind! As entrepreneurs, we are risk takers by nature; we thrive in this climate but unfortunately, it’s not for everyone. For our advertisers, we thank you for your ongoing support. These have been difficult times for businesses of all sizes, but we have stood together and will continue to do so as we approach 2021. Our commitment is to create an even greater value with your advertising dollars. This is just the beginning of our journey together with the NEW Bermuda Parent Magazine team. Forading family. Because we love our community, we are giving our local talent in the photography industry a chance to show us their skills and freelance writers an opportunity to fill our pages with great content. So, if you think you have what it takes or even some story ideas, we welcome the feedback. Reach out. Talk to us. We want to make sure that the NEW Bermuda Parent Magazine is in every home whether it’s digitally or in print.

Photo/Jo MAR

THE TEAM WRITERS & CONTRIBUTORS

MAGAZINE

PUBLISHER

Kim N Caisey EDITOR

Carla LM Zuill, ABJ, MA ADVERTISING SALES

Thoshlae Smith & Kim N Caisey [email protected] MARKETING & PUBLISHER’S ASSISTANT

Evelyn Oteng-Pabi

DESIGN & PRODUCTION

Picante Creative

4 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

Chantice Butterfield Jill Davidson Tiffany Douglas Jessica Head Shana Jones Reva Minors Terlena Murphy Evelyn Oteng-Pabi Dr Ayeesha Peets Talbot Lorene Phillips Jameka Smith Rita Stevens Elizabeth Varão Carla Zuill CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Cover: Jayde Gibbons of Queendom Heights Chantice Butterfield, Tiffany Douglas Nigel Richardson

CONTACT US

[email protected] Tel: 531.5489 www.bermudaparentmagazine.com facebook.com/bdaparentmag twitter.com/mybermudaparent Bermuda Parent Magazine is published four times a year. Reader correspondence, photo submissions and editorial submissions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject or comment editorially on all material contributed. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without express written consent of the publisher. The opinions expressed by contributors or writers do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this magazine. Distribution of this product does not constitute an endorsement of the products or services herein.

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NOTE

FROM THE

EDITOR

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Twenty-twenty

is the year we never saw coming. COVID-19 has become the newest catch phrase that doesn’t seem to be going away—but we made it so bring on 2021! While some may have had the worst of experiences this year, for others the last 12 months have brought the greatest of blessings! Like our cover mom Monique Stevens, a single mother of three, who is passionate about bringing out the best in her three sons, especially 11-year-old Xavé, who is CARLA LM ZUILL, ABJ, MA dyslexic. In our cover story, Monique shares their journey as her son went from immensely disliking school to growing confident in the classroom as he learned to navigate his dyslexia. No matter how wonderful our children can be, how many times do we have to remind them to say a simple ‘thank you’? If you are a parent who has never felt like you were taken for granted, I will eat my mask and wash it down with eggnog! In this edition, author Lorene Philips offers tips on how to teach our children gratitude. Read her story on page 35 and put her recommendations in action! Baker Tiffany Douglas loves the banana bread recipe passed down to her from her mother, and now she has done the same with her daughter (and you!). Bring your kitchen to life any day of the week and try making this delicious Bermudian favourite with your children. Enjoy! As we move into 2021, let’s commit to be the best that we can be—to be grateful for even the tiniest blessing. Let’s continue to cultivate every beautiful child in Bermuda so that they can flourish in every way. Don’t forget, if you have a story idea you’d like to share, don’t hesitate to email me at [email protected]. An abundance of love and blessings,

Carla LM Zuill, ABJ, MA Editor-In-Chief

6 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

poster2.pdf 1 10/11/2020 10:55:44 AM

SOLUTIONS TO

LEARNING DIFFERENTLY

VIRTUAL SUMMIT SERIES “REMOVING THE STIGMA” AWARENESS SERIES

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DATE: ON DEMAND - October 2-21, 2021 20 days to view and provide feedback and questions to be answered at our Live Q&A on October 22, 2021. TIME: OPENS 12:00 AM ON DEMAND SUMMIT REGISTERED ONLY

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CM

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VIRTUAL SUMMIT DAY - October 22, 2021 Live Q&A, Learning Simulations and various Exhibitors for assistive technology, learning resources, professionals and schools. TIME: OPENS 10:00AM - 5:00PM

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WHAT YOU WILL LEARN DURING THE SUMMIT

Learning Differences Explained Signs & Symptoms of Learning Differently What are the known causes of Learning Differently? Resources - accommodations, modifications or assistive technolog Experience or re-enact the learning difference so parents, educators and caregivers can relate.

OUR AIM FOR THIS VIRTUAL SUMMIT IS TO :

Remove the STIGMA attached by introducing parents to each other and creating a support system. Helping them realize they are not alone. Providing Caregivers with insights for early intervention so challenges can be detected early. Empowering our Educators with knowledge, tools and resources to help teach students how they learn and get them assistance where needed. I.e. behavior or clinical.

MAIN TOPICS OF CONVERSATION

Executive Function Support in the Classroom

Introduction to Learning Disabilities

Universal Design for Learning

Introduction to Neurodiversity and ADHD

Gamification: Engaging Students in Learning

Introduction to Autism Social-Emotional Learning Principles of Executive Function

Early Childhood (EC) Mental Health (MH) Regulations (RG) Intervention & Instruction (II) Assistive technology (AT)

Transition (TR) Related Disorders (RD) Sponsors and Exhibitor information within the Prospectus.

BABY BY RITA STEVENS

Birth &with Babies

Nurse Rita Q

I’ve been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Did I do something wrong?

Absolutely not!!! You didn’t do anything wrong. Gestational diabetes is a condition in which your blood sugar levels become high during pregnancy. It occurs in 10 to 15 percent of all pregnancies. Eating certain foods does not automatically cause gestational diabetes.

Once diagnosed, you will be retested and referred to a dietician for evaluation. Your diet history, blood sugar and exercise level will be monitored for the remainder of your pregnancy. Your obstetrician will need you to bring this information to every visit. They will keep a close eye on fetal growth and movements. Some babies may need to be delivered before their due date. Most patients who are diagnosed in pregnancy return to normal sugar levels after birth.

Q

I’m 15 weeks pregnant with two small children. I am exhausted all the time and my husband works. How do I cope with being there with my little ones while trying to get the rest I need?

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8 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

you could do to ensure your health and peace of mind. Plan a date night with your husband to discuss ideas. He may not be aware of how you are feeling; good communication is key to problem solving. Are the children old enough to attend a day care? Some nursery schools offer half days (8:30 a.m. -12:30 p.m.). Your husband can do the dropoff and you can do the pickup, which leaves you with a morning of rest. Do you have relatives or close friends who can help? Would you be able to hire a person who is willing to do light housework and take the children out for an activity? These are just some ideas to start the conversation. I am sure that you and your husband can come up with a solution that works for your family.

Big congratulations on the news of welcoming baby number three! Pregnancy is exhausting and so is caring for two small children. There are a few things

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Q

My baby is six weeks old and is always hungry. I don’t feel that I am producing enough milk but I do not want to use formula. Are there any foods I can eat to increase milk production? Most breastfeeding mothers will tell you that a six-week-old baby goes back to a newborn feeding behaviour. They

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nurse almost every hour and act as if they are starving. This is completely normal. The baby is going through a growth spurt; this sudden growth requires more milk. The frequency in nursing will activate your brain to produce more milk making hormone. It is a supply and demand principle at work-except in this scenario it is a demand first, increase later. During this time, keep your life simple. Cut back on housework and social commitments to conserve energy; you will need to rest. Maintain a healthy diet that includes protein in every meal and snack. Hydrate by drinking more water, herbal tea, and soups. This situation will resolve itself. Relax and enjoy all the cuddling.

Q

Is it okay to drink while breastfeeding?

Research shows that it is safe to have four to eight ounces of wine, prosecco or champagne per day or 12 ounces of beer. Drink slowly and with food. The baby should be fed before you have your drink and at least two to three hours afterwards. This is to aid in your body’s ability to absorb the alcohol. Hard spirits like vodka, scotch, rum, gin, tequila are off limits while breastfeeding. Nurse Rita Stevens is the owner of BirthPlus. To book a consultation, email her at [email protected]. BPM

should be comfortable. If you are experiencing discomfort or you have concerns about , contact us. mothers We’ve been for over three decades. Email [email protected] or check us out on Facebook at La Leche League of Bermuda.

WINTER 2020 | 9

BABY

Protect

YOUR BABY from

WIRELESS RADIATION an you remember the last time you helplessly watched your cellphone fall and the screen shattered? I do, it was the fall of 2015. I was getting out of my car and somehow my very large (almost due) pregnant belly launched my cellphone like a torpedo out of my uniform’s front pocket. My second daughter may have been practicing her football skills from in utero, making her daddy very proud. Unfortunately, he was not so happy after all, as he had the job of putting ‘humpty dumpty’ back BY DR. AYESHA PEETS TALBOT 10 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

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together again. Luckily for our baby, I of the contributing factors to Yara’s promised my husband I would not place constant state of being unsettled. my cellphone in my pocket ever again. It was on a trip to Vermont that we A few months later we welgained the most clarity on how comed Yara to the world, our to help Yara. This trip was to sweet baby girl. She was so a family-friendly resort that sweet, in the ‘sweet and was designed to be an ‘off sour’ kind of way. You see, the grid’ experience. This Yara suffered from reflux, meant the cellphone recepeczema, general fussiness, tion and WiFi connection sleep issues and needed was horrible, if you could lots of help with soothing find any connection at all. throughout the day and night. Georgi - stock.adobe.com This turned out to be a blessAll of Yara’s sitters remember ing. Yara slept through the the pain and joy of taking care of her. night every single night we were there. Our arms ached after a day of holding With this discovery, I dived deep her, however, the new definition in our into learning about radiation toxicbiceps proved that you do not need a ity. I realized that Yara was sensitive to gym for a good workout. It took us well electromagnetic field (EMF) radiation. over two years to gain an understanding This sensitivity may have started when

6 Whenever possible, connect to the internet using wired cables. 7 When using WiFi, connect only to download, then disconnect and disable WiFi. 8 Avoid prolonged or direct exposure to WiFi routers.

Yara was exposed to radiation while she was developing in my womb. As I gained an understanding of how EMF radiation affects babies in utero, I came across many scientific studies and new research projects that were coming to the same conclusion: developing brains are uniquely vulnerable to the effects of EMF radiation. A recent study from Yale University shows that exposure to wireless radiation can have profound effects on brain development, including sleep disturbances and behavioural changes, like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). As a holistic pediatrician and mother of three, I urge pregnant women to take these 10 simple steps to limit their baby’s exposure to wireless radiation.

1 Avoid carrying your cellphone on your body (i.e. pockets or bra). 2 Avoid holding any wireless device against your body when in use. 3 Use your cellphone on speaker setting or with an “air tube” headset. 4 Avoid using your cellphone in cars, trains, or elevators. 5 Avoid cordless phones, especially close to your bed while you sleep.

9 Unplug your home WiFi router at bedtime or when not in use. 10 Sleep as far away from wireless utility meters as possible (i.e. smart meters). I wish you an amazing and joyful pregnancy and may you and your baby be blessed with heath and happiness. Dr Peets Talbot is the Co-Founder and Medical Director at Ocean Rock Wellness. BPM

Resource: The BabySafe Project, produces by Grassroots Environmental Education, a nonprofit organization, in association with the Environmental Health Trust, 2014 Grassroots Environmental Education, Inc.

WINTER 2020 | 11

BABY

DEMYSTIFYING

Doula the

BY REVA MINORS

12 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

I had never heard of a doula until I started researching home birth for my first pregnancy in 2016. The literal translation of doula is “woman who serves” and she came with my home birth package. Nowadays doulas can be any gender and are there to support the birthing family physically, emotionally and mentally outside of the medical care provided by OB-GYNs, midwives and nurses.

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e add another layer to the birth team that focuses on the birthing person and their support system. My own personal home birth experience made me feel cared for, heard, seen, fearless and empowered; it was the moment I knew this is what I wanted to provide to others. I certified as a doula in November 2017 and have humbly served families both in the hospital and at home ever since. The popular view is that doulas are either not needed or a luxury, both of which couldn’t be further from the truth. In places where tradition is still followed, doulas are there among the familial group at births in the form of aunts, mothers, village elders – this is the origin of doulas from as far back as civilization goes. Now we are certified through institutions to teach us what we would have otherwise learned in a village setting, to serve the birthing community still. But what does a doula do? Well, it depends on what type of doula you are. Birth doulas will meet with you before birth to work on things like your birth plan, labour positions, what to pack in your hospital bag and how your partner (if you have one) can be included.

Once labour starts, we’re providing comfort measures through optimal birth positions, massage, acupressure, essential oils, music, gentle touch, encouraging words, educating you on your options, just to name a few. We also fetch you and your partner water and snacks (if you can have them), take photos, video and update your eager families if that’s your wish. Cesarean rates, the need for medical intervention like epidurals, and the use of forceps or vacuum extraction all go down when a doula is present. Breastfeeding rates also tend to increase. There are other doulas outside of birth doulas as well, like postpartum doulas and death doulas. Postpartum doulas help take care of parents by helping around the house once baby is home with things like light housework, cooking, feeding, running errands and taking care of baby during the night so parents can rest. On the other end of the spectrum, death doulas (also known as end of life doulas) serve those who are journeying towards the end of their life, to ensure they leave this world on their own terms by assisting in such things as helping get affairs in order, assist in planning funeral ceremonies and

provide support for the family during and after this difficult transition. Majority of doulas are also certified in other areas of interest such as massage, healing, counseling, or nursing; the list is endless. I am a certified birth and postpartum doula but I’m also certified in vaginal steaming, energy healing and pregnancy and infant loss advocacy – and this is just at the time of writing! I am enrolling to be a childbirth educator, doula trainer and who knows what else by the end of 2020 (I’m told this is the year of transformation). So, who can benefit from a doula? All people really. We add another element to the medical team so they can focus on what is important to preserving life of the birthing person and the baby, we serve people bringing new life, we serve people ending life and we serve people dying. The doula community is working hard to be seen as essential care in the industry so we can qualify for things like insurance to allow our services to be more widely available to a larger portion of our island. I would argue that all people no matter what gender, race, nationality or creed would benefit from a doula, but hey, I’m biased! Reva is founder and owner of Loquat Roots: Doula Services and Holistic Therapy, advocating for millennial women and their wellness. She has been providing families with birth support since 2017, makes her own tea blends for health ailments and birthing people, provides vaginal steaming and Access Bars energy healing. She can be reached on social media @loquat.roots or through her website www.loquatroots.com. BPM WINTER 2020 | 13

A Mother’s

By Carla Zuill

LOVE W e all know that sometimes getting your child to complete a homework assignment can be painful. Add an undiagnosed learning disorder into the mix, and the outcome will rarely have a happy ending. Single mother of three, Monique Stevens, knows about this firsthand. For years she struggled with her oldest son Xavé’s immense dislike for school. Completing assignments were an issue of contention for both of them, which would leave either one of them—and sometimes both—in tears. Although 12-year-old Xavé did not receive a diagnosis until he was eight, Monique shares with Bermuda Parent Magazine that she suspected that something was amiss with him from as young as four. “When Xavé was smaller, he didn’t speak fluently until he was three. When I compared him to other children, I was concerned but I understood that every child develops differently so I tried to look at it from that angle. When he was in preschool, he wasn’t comprehending sounds of letters and struggled with sound recognition. But despite this, she says, no recommendations were made from his school. Monique, who is a Warwick Parish Constable with the Bermuda Police Service, and mom to Xion, 10, and Xario, two, says it wasn’t until Xavé entered Primary 2 that his teacher suggested that he be assessed. She agreed that it needed to be done but she says she had no clue what to expect. During that time, Monique was working shifts and found herself extremely busy balancing work and parenting. She says with the amount of 14 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

information that was needed, including reports from past and present teachers and doctors, she felt overwhelmed—and caused her to freeze. “I overthought it,” she admits. “And on top of it all, I was dealing with the fact that he may have challenges. Homework was like pulling teeth. He said school was hard and it was difficult getting him to focus. There were times when I gave up on homework. He cried and was easily distracted and his teacher said he was struggling to concentrate in school.” Eighteen months after receiving the assessment forms, Monique finally turned them in, something that she says she wrestles with in hindsight. “It was hard and I do feel a little guilty about taking so long,” she laments. After completing an assessment at Child and Adolescent Services, then-eight-year-old Xavé was diagnosed with ADHD. Shortly after, he was also diagnosed with dyslexia. “I was a bit devastated because I felt I was pushing him and he did not have the proper tools to apply to help him succeed. “I felt like I should have followed my first mind and started the process much earlier. I would have saved him the stress and time.” Monique says despite Xavé’s ADHD diagnosis, she chose not to medicate her son. Instead, she says, she wanted to take a holistic approach and adjusted his dietary intake. Xavé’s diagnosis caused Monique to reevaluate her parenting style: “My perspective on patience had to change because I was raised from the perspective of immediate response. When I was a child I had to move

WINTER 2020 | 15

as soon as I was spoken to. Xavé didn’t function that way so I had to be tactful and undo a lot of my thought processes. Impulsiveness is still a challenge.” By the time he reached Primary 6, Xavé, he was receiving tutoring at The Reading Clinic. “He has learned to decode words using the Orton-Gillingham method to be able to functionally read. In his first year of tutoring, he transitioned and he started to focus on his school work. Meanwhile I was worrying about his self-esteem. I knew he understood that he not was not like the rest of the students,” she shares. “He thought he was dumb. I had to make him understand that I was always there for him. We created charts; I created laminated cards for him to write on. I worked hard with him and I did a lot of my own research about dyslexia.” However, says Monique, although her son was doing better and coping, something was not feeling right with his school and the services he was receiving. She transferred him into another primary school and then she saw Xavé flourish. Now in his third year of tutoring, Monique sees a positive change in Xavé. “He’s much more confident. He can cope now and is very open with dealing with his dyslexia. I even had him watching videos to show him that it’s okay to be different. I am a firm believer of building self-confidence. If I don’t focus on his self-esteem, how can he succeed in anything else?” As reflects on her and her son’s fouryear-journey with dyslexia and ADHD, Moniques says with a smile: “We’ve come a long way. Now that he’s in M2, he is enjoying school and who he is. Having a child is like a marathon. Having a child with learning and behavioural challenges will throw many hurdles in that race. The best advice I can give is follow your intuition, seek an abundance of patience and nuture not only your child but yourself because it is a lot to deal with.” 16 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

NURSERY SCHOOLS

DIRECTORY

Play with a Purpose We believe that play supports all areas of a child’s development. We create a safe and nurturing environment where children are free to learn important skills through their play. We explore the interests of the children to encourage learning and to help develop an understanding of the world around them. We have three classrooms and accommodate children from 2-5 years. We are open between 8.15 and 3.30pm every day, during school term times. Email: [email protected] Phone: 236 4835 Website: www.play.bm

Learning Through Creative Purposeful Play From literacy development to social skills and creative expression, the children at Sweet Pea Nursery are constantly being exposed to new activities and environments in which to thrive. We build on the strengths and interests of each child to help build a solid foundation where they can develop their futures. Tel: 232-7217 Email: [email protected]

With the holiday season upon us, ensure your most valued possessions are protected. Season’s greetings from all of us at BF&M. Thank you to all our customers for your loyalty this year.

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WINTER 2020 | 17

Inside the

MIND of a Learning BOY

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KIDS

BY SHANA JONES

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e dress them in blue and pile cars and mini tool-sets in their playpens. We allow them to run around, get dirty, and scrape their knees to ‘toughen’ them up. We expect them to have ‘boyish’ interests like sports and building things. And fighting, well, it just comes with the territory. That’s just how they are, according to commonly held child development philosophies: the biological make-up of boys’ brains causes them to be engaged in certain ways, so certain approaches must be used to effectively reach them. We need to remember, however, that other factors, primarily socialisation, also influence learning. Mobilised by culture, family 18 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

environment, religion and other influences, socialisation teaches a boy what society expects of him. In effect, it draws the (often limiting) box within which he must function. Another school of thought says that boys don’t fundamentally learn differently from girls, and that the learning of both sexes is affected by the same factors (culture, religion, family, etc.). Why, then, do boys typically underperform in schools? In her research, Akilah Bishop, a registered counselling psychologist and family counselor at Bright Life Family Centre in Barbados, has discovered that boys are traditionally under-stimulated at home and therefore enter school at a disadvantage. Met with already lower teacher expectations and influenced by socialisation, underperformance becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. She proposes ‘gender sensitivity’ in the classroom, which reverses the trend by teaching in ways that appeal to boys as well as girls. We know that education begins with family and that parents shape boys’ mindsets by the environment

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they create at home. Is your son’s scope of thinking being expanded in your home or do your stereotypes and expectations rob him of certain experiences? Here are five gender-neutral ways to inspire learning that focuses not on making him a ‘real boy’, but rather on developing a confident, well-adjusted child:

1 2 3 4 5

Use models that break the gender barrier – show boys examples of men in occupations that are ‘reserved’ for women, such as nursing and social work. Show them that men who do these jobs are normal and valuable because of the good they do to other people. Allow boys to tell their own story – encourage boys to express openly what they like or want to try. A boy who likes to paint his face may have a latent interest in visual arts. In any learning opportunity, present all sides, including the stereotypically wrong side – dolls can be used to teach about members of the family or to introduce the concept of care and compassion for others. Fostering sensitivity in boys means teaching them to expect sensitivity from others. Use carefully written children’s books from special book lists (such as www. letterboxlibrary.com) and videos/movies that break the mold – a little boy seeing himself in character opens up possibilities of what he can do or be. Use vocabulary that identifies boys not simply as boys but according to positive attributes such as curiosity, intuitiveness, good behaviour, etc. Emphasise interests and skills such as being musically inclined or good with their hands.

Of course, every child is different, so each one will respond to these approaches in his own way. While these ideas aim to offer as broad a learning experience as possible, Barbados-based educational psychologist Andrea Dennison reminds parents that the most important thing is to know your child. Be aware of what engages your child and embrace his strengths, weaknesses and tendencies. Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, she says parents should frequently evaluate themselves for any stereotypes they may be unconsciously perpetuating in the mind of their child. Shana Jones is a Barbados-based travel writer and commercial pilot. She loves writing about unique, off-the-beatenpath aspects of different places she’s visited. She enjoys Latin dance, reading French and Spanish novels, and teaching English online. Follow her at roamingaviatrix.com. BPM WINTER 2020 | 19

KIDS

Zarina’s

Lunchbox

I

am sure you have heard the term trash-free lunches and wondered at one point, “What in the world are they?” Many schools around the globe are now encouraging parents to pack their kiddos’ lunches with minimal waste. Single use plastics have become a major concern most recently and making the change to a no trash lunch can greatly reduce the amount of waste you create!

20 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

BY ELIZABETH VARÃO I get it…preparing your child’s school lunches can be a daunting task as it is, but using some of my tips and tricks when it comes to creating the perfect trash free bentostyle lunch box for your child will have you being a pro in no time! So, what exactly is a trash free lunch? Well it’s quite simple really. It’s a lunch that has minimal waste, ie: no paper napkins, no plastic cutlery, no packaged snacks, no yogurt cups, no squeeze apple sauces, etc. Basically, when your child finishes their lunch there shouldn’t be anything left over to throw in the trash. At first instance you may think that this is hard to achieve. Nowadays all of your child’s favourite foods and snacks come in separate packaging and it’s just easier to throw them into their bag and call it a day. But trust me, if you make the switch to using reusable snack bags, napkins and lunch containers you will soon see just how economical it can be! Not only does it just make more sense in terms of keeping your waste consumption low- it is also super important in the new COVID age! You want to make sure all packaging is kept to a minimum to avoid cross contamination. Ie: teachers helping kids to open yogurt packages or having children swap snacks. I know that it won’t completely

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remove the risk of COVID spreading, but every little bit counts! So now that we know what a trash free lunch is all about- how do we MAKE ONE? Well my friends let me introduce you to the wonderful world of bento box lunches! Firstly, what is a bento lunchbox? It has become wildly popular in the last couple of years offering a new way to pack a lunch. It consists of a rectangular lunch box with a secure lid that opens to reveal a compartment style interior where different foods can be placed in different sections of the box. The aim is to get as many options into the presentation to offer a variety of nutritious foods to your child. Some of my favourite brands of bento lunch boxes for kids are the Bentgo Kids Box and the YumBox. There are loads of different brands out there that offer an array of sizes and functions for all ages! Once you find the perfect bento box for your child you are pretty much good to go! So now let’s pack it! I don’t know about your child but my daughter can be super picky so I have learned that getting creative with her lunches really gets her trying new things!! I like to fill her bento box with an array of foods that offer the most nutritional value while still being realistic. I get a lot of inspiration from YouTube, Instagram and Pinterest for quick and easy lunch ideas that are not only nutritional but also fun to eat! Get your child involved in the process and

have them prepare their lunches with you. Encourage them to pick out their meal time veggies and snacks with you. You can use a wide variety of bento accessories to jazz up your pickings. Over the past year I have built a small collection of bento tools that I use daily to enhance my daughters trash free lunches. My favourite finds are a set of inexpensive veggie cutters I found that are perfect to cut fruits & veggies into all kinds of shapes. Cookie cutters can also be used to transform a boring PB&J into a star sandwich! I promise you your kiddies will absolutely love it! Remember the goal is to get creative and have fun while making your epic trash-free lunches! Let me know if I have inspired you to make the switch to a bento style trash free lunch this year!! I would love to see some of your creations! Check out some of my favourite trash-free lunch supplies at the below links and follow my lunch page at @ zarinas.lunch.box for more tips and tricks on how to level up your child’s lunches this school year!

Bento Box Links

Bentgo Kids Box: https://www.amazon.com/ Bentgo-Kids-Childrens-Lunch-Box/dp/ B00PKNO7LK/

HAPPY MOMENTS Nursery and Preschool Where Your Child’s Day Begins With God’s Blessings Located at 69 North Shore Rd, Hamilton Parish. Established in 1998, a faith-based school, HMNP has been serving families from the Eastern Parishes and beyond! Your child’s day is comprised of opportunities to build an excellent foundation for the early years of education. Our approach to teaching provides our children with sound moral principles, exploratory learning, early literary skills, and monthly excursions to educational programs. Our facilities offer an immense amount of indoor and outdoor playspace. Teachers are Professionally trained in ECE, First Aid & CPR, SCARS and Vetted Staff. Accepting students 18 months to four years of age at an affordable tuition rate

Yum Box Original: https://www.amazon.com/ Yumbox-Original-Leakproof-Bento-Container/dp/ B081DWWZTM/

Veggie Cutter: https://www.amazon.com/ Vegetable-Cutters-Cartoon-Decorating-Stainless/ dp/B07HLLMJN6/

Sandwich Cutter: https://www.amazon.com/ Yumkt-Sandwich-UncrustAble-LunchboxDecruster/dp/B087NJC7FQ/

Reusable Snack Bags: https://www.amazon.com/Bumkins-SandwichSnack-Rainbows-Unicorns/dp/B07WPSDJ7G/

Reusable Napkins: https://www.amazon.com/ Funkins-Reusable-Cloth-Napkins-Ninjas/dp/ B086R6ZKZJ/

Do you love Liz’s bento boxes? Follow her on Instagram @zarinas.lunch.box. BPM

Hours: 7:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Currently accepting applications for 2021/22. Contact us at 737-8385 or [email protected]

WINTER 2020 | 21

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KIDS

BY JILL DAVIDSON, OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST, FUNCTION JUNCTION

It’s a

Wrap!

With the holiday season upon us, Function Junction is back to remind you of all the wonderful skills involved in the task of wrapping a gift. Aside from the joy of giving, allow me to be a little technical and break down the task. Here is what your children get from being involved in wrapping presents. Motor Planning – Motor planning is all about making a plan, following the series of steps, and making adjustments along the way. Gathering the appropriate materials and knowing what you want the finished product to look like. Fine Motor Skills – Fine motor skills involve the small muscles of the hand. Some fine motor tasks involved are: using hands to manipulate paper and tape, pick up corners of paper off a flat surface, pinching the tape, folding paper with a tight crease and peeling off bow tag, or tying a bow with ribbon. 22 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

Visual Motor Skills – Visual motor skills incorporate the eyes and the hands working together for a task. Cutting paper with scissors and writing gift tags are both visual motor tasks. Visual Spatial Skills – Visual spatial processing is the ability to tell where an object is in space. Placing the gift in the centre of the paper to wrap, knowing where to place the tape so it gets both pieces of paper, and knowing where to place the bow are all visual spatial tasks.

Hand/finger strength – Hand/finger strength is needed for cutting with scissors and tying a bow. Gradation of force – Grading involves using the appropriate amount of force to complete a motor task. Pulling out a suitable amount of paper/ tape without getting too much can be challenging. Bilateral Coordination – Bilateral coordination is using both sides of the body together in an activity. Rolling out the paper, manipulating the box, managing the paper and scissors, holding the paper tight to put the tape on and tying ribbon involve two hands working together. Involvement in the process results in more compassion and gratitude Here’s how to get your children involved. There are many steps involved in wrapping a gift. Your child may not have the attention span or desire to help with all aspects of the task. Keep it fun and engaging!

Steps in Wrapping a Gift: • • •

Gather materials (gift, paper, tape, scissors, gift tag, pen/marker, ribbon/bow) Choose which paper to use Measure how much paper is needed to cover the gift

• • • •

•

Cut the paper. If the paper does not have grid lines to follow, draw a cutting line for your child to follow Fold the paper around the gift and at the ends. Make tight creases Tear a small amount of tape to secure the paper where needed.Manage the tape dispenser Peel tag off bow, or tie a ribbon around gift. Tying bows on packages can be great practice for shoe lace tying Write gift tag. Gift tags can be written while standing at an easel or lying on your tummy on the floor. Younger kids can sign their name, or draw a picture. Older children could write who the present is for and little message

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Simplify the Task •

• • • •

Wrap a small gift with tin foil. Just tear, wrap around and scrunch! (why not wrap some of your child’s present in tin foil. It involves more finger strength and dexterity to open it up) Gift tags – Write a sample for them to copy or draw a line on the tag to help them manage the space For kids that are not able to read yet…make the gift tags using pictures, for who the gift is for Younger children can certainly help put gifts inside gift bags Provide pre-cut paper and pieces of tape on the edge of the table

Be more Creative! •

• • • • •

• •

Design your own wrapping paper. Get a roll of paper or use the inside of a brown paper grocery bag. Then decorate Stamps Paint a design Draw a winter scene & colour Use nature! Leaf prints, dried leaves/ seed pods spray painted Use last year’s Christmas cards to create gift tags. Cut out a shape. Or draw your own using index card. Use a hole punch at the top. Thread through a piece of ribbon Go Green! Wrap your gift in cloth bag or in a tea towel wrapped with ribbon And of course, homemade gifts are priceless. BPM

Ages 3 months – 5 years • Open 7:30AM – 6PM Tel. 441.29-ONION (296-6466) • Fax. 441.236.5912 www.opacademy.bm • [email protected]

Registered Dietitians providing Medical Nutrition Therapy

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Prevent and manage medical issues

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Paediatrics: including Poor growth, Behavioural issues, Overweight, Constipation, Allergies, Tube feeding, Weaning

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Convenient locations including in-office and home visits

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WINTER 2020 | 23

KIDS

Cultivating Your BY JAMEKA SMITH

CHILD’S

GREEN THUMB Gardening can offer a world of excitement and intrigue for children. There is plenty to occupy and educate them, which will help them develop a meaningful relationship with the outdoors.

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24 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

Here are ten tips which will get your little one into the garden. Grow food: Growing fruit and vegetables is one of the best ways to get children into gardening. Choose easy crops to grow like strawberries, beans, and tomatoes. Pumpkins can be lots of fun to grow, especially if you then carve them for Halloween. Eat the fruits of your labour: Children get firsthand experience of the food cycle when the plants they grew appear on your dinner table. Cook a meal with vegetables grown in your garden and let your child help prepare it. Grow sunflowers: Sunflowers are easy to grow from seed and can grow up to 6 feet tall if fed and watered carefully. It’s fun for children to measure how tall their plants grow. Create a butterfly garden: To create a butterfly garden ensure that you plant nectar plants (milkweed) and attractant plants for butterflies (zinnias), as well as provide areas for them to attach their chrysalis (wood pieces) and also to sun bask (gravel). Add wildlife lures and art items: Gardening isn’t always about growing plants. Children will

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love to make a scarecrow, a bird feeder, a bird box or even paint their own rocks to use as plant labels garden art. Grow fragrant flowers: Recommended plants are yanadjan - stock.adobe.com lavender, rose, alyssum, and marigolds. Encourage your children to pick out their favorite smells. You could even encourage them to mash up flowers of different plants to create their own ‘perfume’. Plant the right plants for the season and climate zone: Children will quickly lose interest if seeds don’t germinate or plants die, so make sure that the plants you grow are appropriate to your climate zone and the planting season. Cultivate good habits: Teach your child to store the garden tools away after use. Set aside time to tend the garden. Show your child how to pull weeds and water the garden. These experiences offer lessons in responsibility and consistency. Create a plant journal: Help children record notes in a plant journal, draw pictures or take photos to reinforce what they have learned Ilike - stock.adobe.com and enjoyed. Explore the garden at night: Grab some flashlights and set out for some fun nighttime exploration. You will be amazed at what you find. Jameka Smith is a landscape architect. Check out Garden and Thrifty Hacks on Facebook. BPM

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FAMILY NIGHTS Kids 12 and under eat for FREE every Tuesday night at Divots and Wednesday night at Flanagan’s.* Reservations are highly recommended. *One kids meal free per adult entree

295-8299 | www.flanagans.bm • 434-8687 | www.divots.bm

WINTER 2020 | 25

RECIPES

Banana Bread

BY TIFFANY DOUGLAS

as Easy as 1-2-3

Our family banana bread recipe is the gift that keeps on giving! I passed the recipe on to my 20-year-old daughter after my Mom had given it to me when my children were small. It is not uncommon to find my daughter in the kitchen on a Sunday morning whipping up a loaf. This banana bread is versatile and is great as French toast—I’ve added my recipe as a bonus! Enjoy!

Classic Banana Bread For this recipe you will need: 1 medium sized bowl 1 large bowl 1 whisk Measuring cups and spoons Rubber spatula 2 medium sized loaf pans

Ingredients: 21/2 cups flour 4 tsps baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 26 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

1 tsp salt 11/2 cups sugar 1 cup oil 4 eggs 21/2 cups Mashed Banana

Instructions: 1. Preheat the oven to 350°. 2. Lightly spray your 2 loaf pans with a non-stick spray and line with parchment paper. 3. In the medium size bowl mix together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt. 4. In the larger bowl whisk together sugar, oil, eggs and the mashed banana until frothy.

5. Add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture and stir until combined and no more flour is visible. 6. Pour the batter between the two loaf pans. Bake for 40-45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted. Now as an added bonus! If you hide one of your loaves until the next day you can slice it up and make french toast! Grab yourself two eggs, a splash of heavy cream, a splash of good vanilla, a dash of cinnamon, and a dash of nutmeg. All of this is to taste! Beat all the ingredients together in a dish wide enough to fit your slices. Dredge each slice in the egg mixture and fry them in a frying pan or griddle pan in a couple of tablespoons of butter! Squeeze on your favorite syrup or toppings! Tiffany Douglas is the owner of Angel Treats Home Bakery. BPM

PIZZA Deliziosa

RECIPES

BY CHANTICE BUTTERFIELD

Pizza has been around for over 130 years and it’s a food that never seems to grow old (‘scuse the pun!) It’s easy to make and can be cut down to tiny bite size pieces for your little one. There was a time when being vegan meant the end of eating traditional foods we all love, but not anymore. There is virtually no food that cannot be adapted to a vegan lifestyle. Here is a delicious recipe for the little vegan in your life that will leave them begging mommy and daddy for more!

Ingredients: 1 head of cauliflower 2 flax eggs (1 flax egg = 1tbsp ground flaxseed & 2 ½ tbsp water ) ½ cup vegan shredded mozzarella 1 cup pizza sauce Salt and pepper to taste 1 tsp Italian seasoning

• •

• •

•

Toppings: Coconut bacon or whatever toppings you love topped with vegan shredded cheese of your choice

Directions: •

Preheat oven to 425º. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat; set aside

• • •

To make cauliflower crust, add cauliflower a food processor and pulse until finely ground Transfer to a microwave-safe bowl. Cover loosely and place into microwave for four to five minutes, or until softened. Allow to cool Using cheese cloth, drain cauliflower completely, removing as much water as possible Transfer cauliflower to a large bowl. Stir in flax eggs, vegan mozzarella, Italian seasoning and salt and pepper Scoop out medium size portions of mixture and place on the baking sheet. Spread out and form a circle using your hands. You can make the crust as thin or thick as you like! Spray very lightly with non stick spray and place in the oven for 12-15 minutes Top with pizza sauce, your favourite toppings and vegan cheese Place into oven and bake until the cheese has melted, about three to five minutes BPM

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FOR YOUR KIDS We’re building healthier lives at PURE WATER and BERMUDA WATERWORKS — your one stop shop for high quality bottled and piped water.

Visit us online at www.bwl.bm |

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WINTER 2020 | 27

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FINANCE

Mom, Dad: Life Insurance is a Must!

Since COVID-19 arrived in Bermuda, it has hit families hard, from trying to educate our children remotely to juggling work to make ends meet. Should life insurance be on that list?

We have seen many people of all ages die around the world without having any coverage and now living with the regret. Considering life insurance in the COVID-19 world has made many think about what their options are. Why not ensure that your financial obligations are covered even when you are not expecting it? The pandemic has had a lot of people to move life insurance to the top of their to-do list. It is unfortunate that it takes an event like this to remind us that we 28 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

are all mortal and just one unforeseen event away from a tragedy happening. Things happenand it is important that we are protected. If you are ready for the next step, why not call one of your local agents to learn more? But first, here are some important benefits that you should know about before choosing life insurance coverage: Coverage is locked. Between the two basic types of life insurance policies, your coverage is locked once approved. With the term policies, your face value is locked in for a specific period, and with the whole life policies, the coverage is locked in for your entire life. Price is locked. With both types of policies, your price is completely locked in. The term premium is locked in for a specific period, such as 10, 20, or 30 years.

BY JESSICA HEAD

Building cash value. Some life policies can grow in value over time. As they do, you can tap into them while you are living to help pay for things, such as a down payment on a house, a child’s education, or even a wedding. Local agent. Why call the toll-free number for 20 minutes and end up not understanding the agent? Having a local agent is very important. You have access to them to assist you on anything, such as simply changing a billing address or even adding or changing a beneficiary. Building trust and a relationship with a local agent is key to maintaining your life policy. For more information and a free consultation, please contact Jessica Maiato at Freisenbruch Meyer at 294-4618. BPM

PARENTING BY KIMBERLEY CAINES-BEST

Blended:

Deck the halls with blended families….

Keeping Lines of Communication Open About Body Safety Helps Protect Children

We encourage parents and caregivers to let children know that they can share with you their fears and concerns about others, without judgement, anger or retribution.

www.scarsbermuda.com Email: [email protected] Phone: 297-2277 Children should be allowed and encouraged to tell you anything about anyone who makes them feel uncomfortable. 

30 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

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T

he holidays and start of a new year have always been my favourite time of year. The hustle and bustle of Hamilton, the scents and music at Christmas and the opportunity to reset as a New Year approaches excites me. Ironically, the holidays have also been the biggest adjustment for me in blended family life. This sentiment is common among stepmoms for a couple reasons: The holidays may result in your partner not seeing their kids or getting to spend the entire holiday with them, which can be emotional. The holiday schedule may be decided without the stepparent’s input (i.e. with the parents agreeing informally before you entered the picture or perhaps a court deciding

the arrangement). Your expectations of where and when you spend your holidays may change each year. As I reflected on my blended family holidays, I considered ways to combat the stress: Be open to new traditions: For our holidays, we sometimes spend them overseas or in Bermuda. Not spending Christmas in Bermuda is different; but being overseas allows us to explore new areas and do new things. One Christmas, my husband and I took my stepchildren to see the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall, Rockefeller Centre as well as ice skating, we had a blast and memories were created. For Christmas in Bermuda, we create new traditions too, which complement existing family traditions such as reading the Christmas story with both sides of the family. Remember the true meaning of the holidays: Often times, I get bogged down in the business of the holidays that I have to stop and remind myself that a perfect Christmas tree or exhausting the social calendar isn’t the point. The main point is that we are celebrating the holidays, giving back, and remembering the reason for the season: faith, family, and love. Determine what your non-negotiables are: There may be certain things that you have to do for it to feel like Christmas. Perhaps seeing older family members over the holidays is important to you or cooking certain meals. In our family, my husband prepares a meal that he has had for breakfast at Christmas his entire life and he also plays a certain Christmas album. It does not matter where we spend the holidays that meal will be had on Christmas day and the album will be played in the background. This of course is a family tradition that he is passing to my step kids, which is invaluable.

Be flexible: Sometimes the Christmas schedule (i.e. the drop-off) does not go as planned and that can be frustrating but remaining flexible helps to remove the angst and stress during what is an already hectic time of year. If Christmas dinner starts an hour later is it really the end of the world? To my fellow stepmoms, as this year (and what a year it has been!) winds down and we embrace 2021 (woohoo!), I wanted to share a few tips for you that can be helpful during the holidays but are really helpful for you anytime during the year. Self-care: If 2020 has taught me anything it is that self-care is a must. We cannot pour into others if we, ourselves, are empty. Take time to fill yourself up. Self-care can be active and passive. For you that may be working out, gardening, journaling, going for a walk, disconnecting or just sitting in nature. Goal setting: The beginning of the year is a great time to set personal goals, but why just wait until the New Year? Set goals within your blended family that you want to achieve and will help your family. Perhaps, it is having a consistent date night with your partner, reading a book about blended family life (reach out as I have a ton of resources I can share) or doing a family activity (i.e. making a garden). Find your tribe: If this stepmom journey has been a challenge, I want to encourage you to join me and other stepmoms locally who are journeying in blended family life. Our events are designed to be supportive and encouraging as we learn from experts and each other on how to be the best stepmoms that we can be. 2021 promises to be a great year for our group. Best wishes to you and your families this wonderful holiday season and here’s to a phenomenal start to 2021. As always, I am rooting for you and remember, you got this! Kimberley D. Caines-Best is a stepmom and the founder of StepMoms Bermuda, a group that was established to provide a community for stepmoms on Island. The mission of StepMoms Bermuda is: Support, Teach, Empower and Purpose. For more information, to learn more or to chat about blended families, email [email protected]. WINTER 2020 | 31

PARENTING

Us After the Baby BY SHANA JONES

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ou’ve made the tumultuous transition from joyous cries of “We’re expecting!” to the delivery room to shifts in diaper duty between zombieeyed partners. The bundle of joy is here and with him or her, a rollercoaster of physical and emotional extremes that dramatically affect everything. You anticipated the fatigue and other new challenges, but you didn’t expect that your relationship would be affected too. Every couple’s journey is different, so I decided to ask a few friends about their post-baby adventures. They candidly recounted episodes of altered sex drive, emotional distancing and more. I even had a few fathers weighing in! 32 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

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Here’s how they handled it, in their own words: In general, after the baby… Elise, mother of 3, Toronto: “…we spent more time together but not really quality time together talking. We… started setting aside time weekly to talk. Also, it took me a while to realize that I didn’t need to leave spending time with my husband just because the baby cried.” Lilian, mother of 2, Toronto: “We…had to troubleshoot a few different ways to make the balance work. It took us a while to redefine our roles and responsibilities in the new structure, which put a strain on the relationship because it impacted the level of support I felt I was getting...” Anthony, father of 2, Atlanta: “…our relationship was unchanged for the most part. Readjustment of [our] schedule to fit [the] baby’s needs into our lives was paramount. When we figured that out…everything fell into…place.” Dean, father of 3, Barbados: “I…tried to be understanding. I was a commuter at the time and I usually couldn’t wait to get home -- the 6-week wait took forever.” Zena, mother of 4, Barbados: “…it was totally different from the [first two], as her father was very hands on...” Donald, father of 2, Dallas: “We…utilised the help of our family to allow us to take weekends or even a week by ourselves to vacation, reconnect and reset. I believe planning our little trips in the midst of the new child helped us a lot to maintain the spice.” As for sex drive… Elise: “It increased. The doctor said that we couldn’t have sex for 6 weeks and I never made it. I actually always found it stressful to try to wait that long.” Dean: “...there were differing levels of drive, but I was entertained on most requests. I tried to be understanding because the other half was stuck with all the work, so I’d behave when she was tired.” Donald: “[We] handled it by being patient…and creating the environment…helping to reduce and eliminate her stress and chores…played a vital role in helping her to prepare mentally and physically… which is a domino effect that eventually leads to celestial experiences.” And disconnection in the relationship… Lilian: “We definitely felt disconnected for a period of time (like a couple years); not angry with each other or anything, just busy making sure everything was done. We did some counselling, which helped us redefine our family goals and responsibilities and work through our issues with communication.” Zena: “[None]. We did a lot together…with her so there was no reason to feel detached.” Not to mention sleep deprivation! Lilian: “…all I wanted was a minute to myself to shower and sleep. Being intimate was not high up on my list. I think resentment played a part too. I felt he was being selfish with his time (ie. napping when he came home and then expecting me to be up in the middle of the night with him and getting annoyed when I wanted to sleep).”

Donald: “Sleep doesn’t exist for the first 12 months; coupled with work, [there] are domino effects on the drive and time to execute.” Spiritually speaking… Elise: “…the foundation of my family is my relationship with my husband…God commands me to respect my husband as the head of our household and I wholeheartedly allow him to be that person.” Donald: “[My] spiritual life…helped me to recognize my role and duty as a husband first and then as a father. …prayer [and] reading spiritual and relationship books…continue to help. Everyone’s stories, although unique, shared the common thread of simultaneously nurturing the relationship and creating a family bond. For Anthony, “Spiritually, the bond you create with your child pushes you to become the strong parent figure that the child needs. Not only are you training the baby into life, but the baby is in effect training you into parenthood.” Shana Jones is a Barbados-based travel writer and commercial pilot. She loves writing about unique, offthe-beaten-path aspects of different places she’s visited. She enjoys Latin dance, reading French and Spanish novels, and teaching English online. Follow her at roamingaviatrix.com. BPM

We invite the curious.

Using the Reggio Emilia approach, student engagement is driven through experiential learning and creative exploration of the fascinating world around them. Learn more about our elementary program at MSA.

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WINTER 2020 | 33

PARENTING

What is the greatest gift you can give your children that you cannot purchase? In what ways can you give it to them?

BERMUDA PARENTS Speak…

“Self-confidence. Everything in life comes down to the belief that you can do it, that you are worthy of it and that you have purpose. I strive every day to make sure my children know that they are smart, capable and have their own unique talents — and we celebrate that all the time! I want them to know that they are safe to be who they are, their opinions have value, they are allowed to take up space and that they respect others in the same way. I believe when one is confident in who they are, they are more open and accepting of others and stand up for those that are unable to stand up for themselves. Finally, with self-confidence I know they can pursue big dreams, make tough decisions and live life without limitations.” — Laura Ann Bell

There are several things that come to mind when asked, “What is the greatest gift I could give my child that I cannot purchase.” Morals, values, teaching them all the Bible has to offer, but the main gift would be LOVE. I know love is the greatest gift I could give my children because this encompasses all the gifts I have already mentioned. The love I give them displays my morals, values, and gives them a Biblical foundation I know will help them on this journey of life. We cannot put a price on love, especially the love of a child. When a child does not feel loved or receive love society will pay the price for it. This is sad because love is FREE! Parents are obligated to show love to their child(ren) so those children will know how to love others. When children know how to love themselves others this brings families, neighbourhoods, communities, countries, and the world closer in a positive way. By loving my boys I am personally touching each person they come into contact with, this is why I am so passionate about loving them with all my heart. Gifts that I spend money on for my children are very temporary, but the gift of love I show them is forever. My favorite quote by Michael Jackson is, “But I will never stop helping and loving people the way Jesus said to”. This quote says it all for me I have to spread love the way Jesus said to and so do my children. I must lead by example! Love is the greatest gift I could ever give my boys. —Jodie Fountain

34 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

PARENTING

BY LORENE PHILLIPS, AUTHOR OF 29 KEYS TO PARENTING AND WIN!

How to Teach Children

gratitude “Lay a foundation early and then build on it.”

This is great advice for teaching our children anything and especially when it comes to showing gratitude and acceptance for a gift. Knowing how to say “thank you” gracefully and timely is not only good manners, it is also the type of behavior that will set your children apart as they become fully functioning adults. Isn’t that what we all want as parents—to raise our children so they can be fully equipped with the life skills to set them up to succeed when they are on their own?

Begin at Home Home is the best place to start teaching your kids these fundamental skills. You see, following good manners in our everyday lives teaches us self-control, and increases our awareness of how our words and actions affect others. This is the reason for good etiquette.

Prompt and Praise So as soon as your little one is old enough to receive a gift, give a firm prompt to say, “thank you”. Let them hear you say “thank you” as a matter of practice in your home as well. Let there be an atmosphere of respect and consideration at home and then it will naturally occur when they are not at home and especially when they are not with you.

Next time your child receives an item, a favour, or an extension of kindness, when they receive a treat or visit someone’s home: let there be a clear “thank you”. Always. I remember when my eldest son Aaron was a toddler and he would receive an evening bath by his grandma, and he would always say, “Thank you.” I recall fondly how us adults felt such genuine gratitude, thoughtfulness, and love. “Thank You” is a powerful expression of gratitude and our kids learn early, so teach them early how to do this by giving them prompts and praising them when they do.

Model It As always, model for them what a life of gratitude looks like in your everyday interactions. When you do that, your children will become gracious and thoughtful adults who make others feel appreciated and valued. Gratitude and “thank you” will no longer be a formality but a way of being. That is what we want mom and dad. WINTER 2020 | 35

Public Speaking 101

If you have found the conversations with your teen to be lackluster with responses of, “It’s okay” or “I’m fine”, you may want to consider how you can work together with them to increase their interpersonal communication skills.

How do you get your teen to feel more comfortable expressing themselves publicly? Or even want to?

Have a chat to set a goal I suggest having a purposeful conversation with your teen regarding the desired change and how you can support them with the change. This conversation should not be one-sided. Try to elicit their thoughts on why improving this skill would beneficial to them. Also, what support you would need to provide them to achieve this goal. If your teen has particular goals they’d like to achieve, i.e., going to college, becoming self-employed, or performing better at school, improving their public speaking skills will help them excel in obtaining these goals. Position the improvement of their

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TEENS

public speaking skills as a mechanism to help them be more successful in reaching their desired destination. Help them understand what you’re willing to give them to achieve this new goal. Describe what your support will look like. Ask your teen what kind of support do they want to complete this goal – define what support looks like to them. Set a timeframe for how long you both will commit to working together - A period of four to six weeks is a sufficient amount of time to devote to this. Also, determine what success or completion will look like and how you will celebrate their achievement. Write down what actions and time frames you both agree to commit to doing. i.e., teen commits to reading the newspaper - the parent commits to buying the newspaper - and you both commit to discussing the contents three to BY TERLENA MURPHY

36 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

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four times a week. Assign a point system - if it will motivate them. The number of points would equate to what kind of celebratory prize they would receive.

Suggested ‘at home’ strategies Encourage your teen to read (in its entirety) the daily newspaper or a reputable online news source. Not only will reading the content help your teen to be more knowledgeable of societal affairs, but this exercise will also increase your teen’s vocabulary. *The rationale for recommending that your teen read a newspaper is because the formula for writing newspaper articles is to follow linear thought (headlines, bylines, lead sentence, body (content), and conclusion). Also, the writing styles are short and concise. If your teen is not a big reader, a compromise to read one or two newspapers a week may help. If yours is a family that enjoys having meals together, take advantage of this time to talk about a particular subject. Ask your teen questions that will help them think through their thoughts on a subject. Making up stories and taking turns building the story with each sentence is a game you can play while driving anywhere together or waiting for transportation. This activity may seem elementary. However, it can be a fun way for you and your teen to express their imagination. Be silly and allow for the free flow of thought. Encourage your teen to initiate conversations with people once a week. They can start with family members or people they know. Bonus points for talking with a stranger! This activity will help with their want to shy away from speaking socially. Be sure to debrief with your teen by setting up three questions they have to ask to learn something new about the person they didn’t know before.

SCHOOLS DIRECTORY The Etiquette Enhanced Lifestyle Establishing personal down time for wellbeing is encouraged. The challenge is to #1, consistently set the time aside and # 2, maximize the benefits of what can be accomplished in any such dedicated period of time. This program of private, bespoke sessions develops a personal lifestyle supporting a less stressful, inner sense of calm. In specifically tailored one on one sessions ‘living the culture of etiquette,’ participants begin to understand and learn the type of experiences that develop that lifestyle. The ability to navigate life with the resilience and confidence needed to face future challenges becomes second nature. A solid grounding for further career and life coaching experiences or simply an etiquette enhanced lifestyle, is established. For further information, please contact: Trudy Snaith, The Executive School of Protocol [email protected]; 441-505-8358; Post Office Box MA 40, Somerset, Bermuda MA BX; www.esop.bm

WHAT IF YOU KNEW... of an encouraging community that honors the individual, values learning diversity, and fosters personal and social growth?

Stay committed until the end When the agreed timeframe is over, sit with your teen to talk about the planned exercise. Provide them feedback on what you observed. Did they commit to the experience? Did you have to prompt them the whole time? Ask them if they felt supported by you. Don’t forget to celebrate! Celebrate starting and finishing something together, regardless of the outcome. If they made a sincere effort and have made some marked improvement, celebrate their work! Let this be the first of many successful goal setting adventures you have as a family.

Additional support A local Toastmasters group can assist with the development of your teen’s public speaking skills. There is a local chapter here in Bermuda. Terlena Murphy is the owner and principal consultant of Force Multiplier Consulting.

VISIT OUR CAMPUS VIRTUALLY! Contact us for a personal tour. Eagle Hill School is a premier college preparatory boarding school for students in grades 8–12 with diverse learning profiles such as ADHD and dyslexia; and is an authorized IB World school offering the IB Diploma Programme.

EAGLE HILL SCHOOL www.eaglehill.school Hardwick, Massachusetts 413-477-6000

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BOARDING SCHOOLS DIRECTORY Bishop’s College School Established in 1836 in Quebec, Canada, Bishop’s College School (BCS) is an IB World School offering the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme and certificates. Situated on a 250-acre campus close to the city of Sherbrooke, BCS is a small, welcoming community with students from over 40 different countries. By embracing a rigorous yet supportive academic program that includes athletics, the arts, leadership and development, and global citizenship, BCS prepares students to become tomorrow’s leaders. We offer a Bilingual Option (English and French), as well as the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award program. We are also a proud member of Round Square through which students can go on exchanges, volunteer for projects in developing countries, attend international conferences, and participate in activities at school and in the local community. www.bishopscollegeschool.com [email protected]

The Gow School The Gow School is a college-prep boarding and day school for students, grades 6-12, with dyslexia and similar language-based learning disabilities. Focusing on small class sizes, 3-7 students per class, and a low 4:1 student to faculty ratio, The Gow School offers a multisensory approach to teaching that enables dyslexic students to thrive. The Gow community has a sense of belonging, of equality, and of connection born on common trials and shared triumph. In July, the school’s co-ed summer program is five weeks of learning and fun for ages 8-16! The Gow School Summer Program is for students who have been experiencing academic difficulties, or have been diagnosed with dyslexia or specific learning disabilities. The Summer Program runs from the end of June to early August with morning academics, afternoon fun and games and weekend adventures! The Gow School Summer Program gives students academic tools and self-confidence they can take with them wherever they go; to the classroom and beyond. Email: [email protected] Phone: 716.687.2001

Vanguard We support co-educational students in 6th through 12th grades who experience an array of learning challenges, by individualized learning opportunities, executive functioning solutions, while students gain the confidence to drive motivation and goal attainment. Our students utilize core values (community, resilience, integrity, empathy, and leadership) to self-evaluate their behaviors and intentions. All students are valued and celebrated for their individuality and strengths. Vanguard Summer Camp takes students through STEAM projects into the great outdoors! We assess student skills, work on Executive Functioning, and build friendships. Our experiences include interactive Adventure Camp (grades 6-12), Credit Retrieval (grades 9-12), or ACT Prep (for juniors and seniors). We are Vanguard. Contact details: www.vanguardschool.org 1-863-676-6091 38 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

BOARDING SCHOOLS DIRECTORY Eagle Hill School Eagle Hill School is a private co-ed prep school exclusively for students with diverse learning profiles including ADHD and dyslexia. Located in Hardwick, Massachusetts, Eagle Hill specializes in an individualized learning approach to each student’s needs with academic and core enrichment programs supported by an environment of creative and demanding instruction. 242 Old Petersham Road, Hardwick, MA 01036 413.477.6000

The Fessenden School Located just minutes from historic Boston MA, Fessenden is the oldest and most prestigious U.S. boarding school for boys, ages 11-15, in the U.S. Fessenden embraces a student-centered, teacher-supported approach that promotes interactive exchange over direct instruction, collaboration over competition, and learning for life over learning for school. The Fessenden boarding experience is specifically designed to provide the academic, social, and emotional support boys need during their critical pre-teen/teen years. And, with a weekend program considered to be one of the best in the country, it is no wonder that Fessenden attracts students from across the U.S. and around the globe. Learn more at fessenden.org or call us at 617-620-2300.

S.A.L. EAST SHOP 4 Hermitage Road Devonshire Phone: 232-2000 Fax: 236-2978 S.A.L. WEST SHOP 17 Industrial Park Southampton Phone: 238-2000 Fax: 238-3316 DON’T FORGET OUR 20% OFF, DISCOUNT TUESDAYS!

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Happy Birthday! Anakin February 15 Age 5 Happy 5th Birthday Anakin! Mommy, Daddy and Sis love you very much! You are loved by your whole family! You are special!

Amelia Rose DeCosta February 1 Age 8 Happy 8th birthday Amelia! Love Daddy, Mommy, Lucea and all of your family and friends!

Hope Robinson December 13 Age 8 Happy 8th Birthday Hope, from Mom & Dad

Grace Robinson January 1 Age 1

Noä-Cymone Caisey February 23, Age 14 Happy 14th Birthday Mooks!

Arya-Skye Talbot December 11 Age 2

Happy 1st Birthday our little sunshine girl! We thank God for you! You are the perfect addition to our family!

Happy 2nd birthday Princess. Continue to be amazing! Love, Mommy, Daddy & Siblings

Love from, Mommy, Daddy & Brother

Love Mom, Isey, Solly and Nan Navi December 14 Age 3 Happy 3rd birthday Navi! You are amazing , funny and beautiful. We are so happy to have you in our lives. We love you from Mom, Dad, Sai’et and Rhylee

A Special Happy Belated 2nd Birthday to Na’Lah Payne from the Bermuda Parent Magazine Family. We are sorry for the error and we hope you had a fantastic birthday on September 30th! Ps. Mommy & Daddy love you to the moon and back!

40 | BERMUDA PARENT MAGAZINE

X’Ari Wade December 25 Age 6

Antoine December 29, Age 3 Quinton February 12. Age 5 Happy birthday to our amazing boys! Lots of love from Daddy & Mommy.

Happy 6th Birthday to the most amazing girl in the whole entire world! Continue to make us all proud — you’re brilliant, an amazing friend and a total super star! We love you so, so much!

MAGAZINE

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