LENS OF A

PARENT

IN THE

MODERN

April 2023 With insider interview from: Mr. Edgar S. Tan

TIMES · LCENWRD

GRP2

this month's

point of view This month’s story highlights a different parenting perspective from a traditional parent’s eye. This issue navigates the conflicts that arise due to generational gaps and the hardships of parenting. The team interviewed a parent that aims to raise his children not as a perfect parent but in the best possible way despite all the gaps and circumstances.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

about a modern day father

3

get to know Mr. Edgar S. Tan and his family

a father's take on modern day parenting

4

Mr. Edgar's take on how he and his wife brought up their kids

authors' takeaway

8

individual synthesis of the magazine's author from the interview

course reflections

11

authors' takeaway from the LCENWRD course

the authors contributions made by each author

13

A MODERN DAY FATHER MODERN DAY FATHER A FATHER A MODERN DAY A MODERN DAY FATHER DAY FATHER FATHER Name: Edgar S. Tan Birthdate: January 6, 1967 Married Date: December 15, 1996 Edgar Tan is a father of four sons with his partner, Rosalind Tan, whom he is married to for 26 years. The wife had her first labor after almost two years of marriage and gave birth to an identical twin. After another two years, the third son was born. The fourth son was born after nine years. His family wasn’t initially that well-off but he worked so hard that he is leaving and returning to his home while his children are still sleeping early in the morning and late at night. However, he always made sure to spend his time with his family during his day-offs and attended the school events of his children.

MR EDGAR'S TAKE ON MODERN DAY PARENTING JASPER (INTERVIEWER) Hi! Please introduce yourself and your family. MR. EDGAR Hello, ako si Edgar Tan. Nakatira ako sa Tarlac City, and the father of Jasper Matthew Tan JASPER (INTERVIEWER) Could you briefly share with us the dynamics of your family? MR. EDGAR I see to it na sabay lagi kaming kakain, then kwentuhan, kamustahin ang buhay nila sa school. In short, communication is important. Sabay rin laging nagsisimba, normally, anticipated mass. And ‘pag may extra time, dumadalaw sa lolo and lola nila. CHRISCHELL (INTERVIEWER) How did you decide the timing to have a first child? What were the factors that influenced your decision to have your spouse prepare for pregnancy? MR. EDGAR Sa akin, none ang sagot ko. Kasi for me, nag-asawa ka, syempre kasama ang pagkakaroon ng plano na magkaroon ng anak. And besides, medyo may edad na kami nung misis ko nung nagpakasal kami. Gusto din namin makita na lumaki ‘yung mga anak namin. CHRISCHELL (INTERVIEWER) Have you/your spouse experienced any complications when trying to conceive? MR. EDGAR Yes, dun sa bunso namin. High blood pressure. Pero na-monitor naman [kasi] OB naman ‘yung sister niya [his wife’s sister], siya ‘yung nagbabantay.

BEA (INTERVIEWER) How did you raise your children? Did you apply any strategy or have you consulted with any mentors when you were raising your children? MR. EDGAR Hmm, pinalaki namin ang mga bata sa paraan na alam naming tama. At syempre, nagtatanong din kami sa mga parents namin regarding sa kung papaano mag-disiplina o papaano palakihin ang mga bata kagaya ng ginawa nila. BEA (INTERVIEWER) How do you deal generational gap?

with

you

and

your

children’s

differences

and

MR. EDGAR Uh, need namin mag adjust and maging open sa mga bata through communication. Lagi ko din sinasabi sa kanila na hindi lahat nang nakikita saming mga magulang ay tama, eh tao lang rin naman kami, nagkakamali. May natututunan sila sa amin, likewise, kaming magulang ay mayroon din sa kanila. MARIAH (INTERVIEWER) How do you balance your time for yourself (i.e. career and social life), your spouse, and your children? MR. EDGAR Sa balance, di ko alam kung paano ko sasagutin, kung paano ko ibalance. For me, ang first priority ko is my family. Second, ang negosyo namin. Third lang ang aking social life. MARIAH (INTERVIEWER) Have you ever argued with your ways of parenting with your partner? How did you resolve it? R. EDGAR Yes, madalas. Pinag - uusapan namin kapag kami na lang dalawa, or pag hindi kami nagkakasundo, pagbibigyan ko na lang siya, para walang away. JUSTINE (INTERVIEWER) Did you want your child to follow your religion? MR. EDGAR Nope. The answer is no. JUSTINE (INTERVIEWER) What would you have done if your child wanted to follow a different religion?

MR. EDGAR Let it be. May sariling buhay sila. Pag pinigilan bata, sa tingin ko itatago niya lang sayo eh, kahit bisyo eh. Sabay na lang sa agos. Para lang di, as ah, as long na hindi masama. Kung religion lang rin uusapan.

mo kasi ang isang sabihin mo sa mga long as di masama naman ang pinag -

JENA (INTERVIEWER) What for you are the blessings of fatherhood? MR. EDGAR Uh, blessings of fatherhood, sa ngayon na aappreciate ko na may katulong ako sa decision - making, sa family matters, and sa negosyo namin, and may kakwentuhan din. May kabonding dinsa Sabado nights, ganun. Yun lang. JENA (INTERVIEWER) What do you think were the most difficult challenges you experienced (or perhaps still struggling with) in your fatherhood thus far? MR. EDGAR Communication. Uh, communication kasi hindi magkaintindihan, Hindi parehas ang frequency ng utak namin kung paano makipag - usap sa edad niyo na mga millennial. Millennial ba ang tawag sa inyo. Iba ang gusto namin iparating sa mga bata, pero iba ang pagkakaintindi nila, or vice versa. Siguro, minsan, dahil na rin sa pronunciation, dahil marami maraming factor, pero naaayos na din naman. Ah, kagaya ng sinabi ko, tumatanggap naman kami ng pagkakamali. So, natututo kami sa mga bata, kung ano ang, paano makipag - usap sa inyo nang tama. Maraming pagkakaiba eh, gaya na lang ng example, kami dati tinatawag namin usb, ngayon tinatawag niyo na na flashdrive. Ngayon pag nagsabi kami na magpapaxerox ako, sabi nila mali, photocopy daw, kaya susunod na lang kami. Which is nasa tingin ko, yun naman ang tama. That’s it. JENA (INTERVIEWER) Has/Have your child/children expressed any concerns regarding modernday issues such as those related to social media or mental health? How did you address them? MR. EDGAR Mhmm. Di naman siya big issue. Yung ayaw lang nila, lahat ng mga anak ko, is yung mag post kami ng mga picture sa Facebook. Uh, which is hindi rin naman kami mahilig gumawa ng ganyan sa Facebook. Nag isscroll lang kami lagi sa IG pati sa tiktok. Di kami yung kakain ka lang, pipicturean mo pa pagkaini mo, tapos ipopost mo sa Facebook. O kaya kung saan kayo nag pupunta, laging nasa social media lahat nang ginagawa niyo. Hindi naman gawain. Nasagot ko ba yung tanong mo, iha?

TOM (INTERVIEWER) For you, what is the most important thing/lesson you’ve imparted to your child that he/she should never forget? MR. EDGAR Respeto sa magulang and strong family ties. Yun lang

MR. EDGAR'S FAMILY This is a photo of Edgar Tan and his family on a holiday. He took his family to have dinner and engaged in communication as they ate. This would also allow his sons to have the opportunity to talk amongst themselves and form a deeper bond. In this family, eating together is a special way of their communication. Even if the family members spend their own time with studies and work on regular days, they make sure to eat together and communicate as they do.

AUTHORS'

TAKEAWAY I already have formed a solid idea of my vocation. It is centered through the service for the community specifically for the education of the less fortunate people. It is to give them an opportunity to rise from poverty and hopefully be inspired to help the next generation to have proper education after getting a stable life. A vocation should be something that I should dedicate my life to; however, I also consider having a married life and having children. Similar to Mr. Tan, I would also like to have a healthy relationship with my family formed through proper communication and prioritize my family above others. Therefore, I won’t be able to keep my initial vocation if I choose to get married. Other than the vocation of being a husband, it comes hand in hand with fatherhood. Being a parent is something that I can choose out of my own free will but my child cannot choose his/her parents. As such, my child’s life is something that I should be responsible for even after his/her adolescence.

JASPER My Vocation Journey

Listening to Mr. Tan mad e me realize importance of the respect in a family. I am privileged to he ar the story of such a beautif family where re ul spect is eviden t, especially w religious prefer ith ences. I am al so so amazed how Mr. Tan by handles and le ads his family wherein patienc , e is also presen t. The interview also highlight ed how vital it is to prop communicate erly and converse with everyone the family to in ensure a heal thy relationshi among everyo p ne. I also appreciate hi acknowledgmen s t that differen ces exist bu these should no t t tear the fam ily apart. Rathe there should r, be understanding compromise. and Moreover, my perspective ab families also out changed, in w hi ch peace with the family shou in ld be prioritized . A healthy an functional fam d ily is built in making sure th everyone is he at ard and seen. Differences am family membe ong rs should also be embraced understood be and cause no on e can ever fu control anothe lly r individual’s lif e. Thus, having good family re a lationship is no t given; it is bu ilt.

MARIA Peace within H a family

Upon talking to Mr. Edgar, Jasper’s father, I realized how there is freedom and respect in their family and how this helps his children to build their own character. Parenting style these days is very different from the parenting style of most parents in Mr. Edgar’s time and this is something that he also recognized. What I admire though is that Mr. Edgar seems to be happy about this and that he is happy to let his children have their own choices in life. He is also a firm believer of having an open communication with his children and he admits that he is not perfect and learning goes both ways in a parent-child relationship. I admire this as my parents are also like Mr. Edgar and they always emphasize how they are also continuously learning how to be good parents and they also do it through communication. Having an open communication lets us, children, be closer to them and receive guidance. Personally, it’s nice to feel heard and it helps me to process my stand on several matters, may it be the same with my parents or not.

CHRISCHELL AN OPEN FAMILY

Growing up, I always believed that my parents were traditional and strict. Until now, I still believe that. However, listen ing to Mr. Tan and how he treats his children with respect as indiv iduals made me believe otherwise. There are points where I think I was raised in a traditional household, but I think my parents created a balance similar to Mr. Tan's. Both created a safe space at home for communication and trust. I would relate Mr. Tan’s decision regarding his children’s religious beliefs to that of my pare nts slowly accepting my sexuality. This highlights the boundaries whic h parents create so their children can grow as individuals. The way that Mr. Tan presented his parenting style showed that pare nts are responsible for their children however, it is only at a point. Child ren will eventually grow as adults. A dependent child may grow into a dependent member of society. Similarly, an independent child may grow as an independent member of society. The way they act as members of society may reflect how they were raised.

JENA

For me as my takeaways the Growth through communication is key in family dynamics, as emphasized by the sir Edgar Tan. He ensures that he and his family regularly communicate which is a good thing that helps family grow, whether it is through eating meals together, attending church services, or visiting relatives. Mr Tan also shared that they raised their children based on what they believe is right, but they also seek advice from their parents and other mentors when it comes to disciplining and raising their children. When it comes to balancing his time, Mr Tan prioritizes his family and business over his social life. Additionally, he believes in letting his children live their own lives and make their own decisions, even if it means following a different religion. One of the most challenging issues he has encountered as a father is communication, particularly with the generational gap and differences in communication styles with his millennial children. However, he remains open to learning and accepts his mistakes, allowing him to better communicate and connect with his children.

tom through words and actions

familial love

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BEA Awakening d e d e e n h c A Mu Being a father is a voc ation that calls for selfle ssness, perseverance, and selflessness. Providing em otional support, direction, and financial security to one's family is a gratifying and dem anding duty for any man to do. Being able to provide for one's family is an essent ial part of being a parent. Fat her s are often seen as the providers and defenders of their family, and this responsi bility extends to providing both material and emotional assistance. Fathers are soc ially and culturally expected to work hard and generate enough money to meet all their children's material requirements. Fathers hav e a significant impact on the emotional and social development of their children. Parents help their children thr ough life by pointing the way, cheering them on, and believing in them. Fathers pla y an important part in their children's development by modeling positive behaviors and encouraging them to reach their full potential. Fat hers' roles in their families' lives should include more than just financial support. This means taking an intere st in their interests and hobbies, as well as spend ing quality time with them do ing those things. Fathers should be available to talk to their kids and provide ad vice when they ask for it. In general, being a parent is a demanding profession that demands selflessness and dedication to one's family. It's not an easy job, but it's very fulfilling because dads can shape their kids' live s for the better and see them blossom into thrivin individuals. g

JUSTIN The Vocation of Father E ho Responsibility, Sacrificeod: A Journey of , and Reward

COURSE REFLECTIONS JASPER: SELF-IMPROVEMENT OPPORTUNITIES

Throughout the term, the Encountering the Word in the World course gave me multiple opportunities to reflect upon myself such as through the discussion of bible verses, the life of Jesus, vocations, and the love and apology languages. The first two topics are more on the level of the improvement of my mental growth that allowed me to have better analytical skills. On the other hand, the latter three are on the personal level that allowed me to have a deeper understanding of myself. As such, the latter three topics left more impression on me as it is something that I can personally relate with. I had a previous course that also discussed vocation from which I solidified my idea of my vocation. Upon taking this course, it helped me resolve myself and improve my path towards my vocation. The love and apology languages helped me correct and gain a better understanding of myself that would allow me form and maintain healthier relationships.

MARIAH: WISDOM

This course made me revisit what really matters to me and made me realize how far I’ve come through the vocations lesson. I have also seen how much I’ve changed the past months due to the love language activity, where I got different results from the results I had a year ago. I feel like I was able to know myself better. Moreover, I was also able to realize the importance of committing oneself to one thing and really embracing it no matter what. Commitment is not only in words but also in actions. Hence, I have come to realize that nothing worth having comes easy. One has to really devote a lot of time and effort if he/she wants to fully commit to something. Besides that, I was also able to know more about Jesus and His disciples. I was enlightened as to how Jesus qualifies the unqualified and it is such a beautiful thought to ponder on. Hence, this course has imparted not only knowledge but also wisdom that could be beneficial in a realworld setting

JUSTINE: EXPLORING MY FAITH This subject matter helps students develop important skills like critical thinking. As students, we are given the opportunity to explore our religious views by participating in class discussions and asking questions. The freedom and safety to question and challenge our own beliefs on this topic have been a powerful and life-altering experience. Issues of social justice, peace, and the environment are just a few of the modern subjects discussed in this course. Because of this, we have a better grasp on how our religion informs our approach to these problems and how we might utilize our convictions to effect good change. "Encountering the Word in the World" has been an instructive course for me throughout my time as a university student. It has helped me better appreciate the meaning of my religious beliefs. The issue has also given me the chance to examine my own assumptions, thoughts, and values, which has been an eye-opening experience.

CHRISCHELL: FORCED RELFECTIONS IM GRATEFUL FOR

As the term comes to an end, I am happy to share how the course has helped me to become more open about discussing things about religion. Personally, I’ve had a lot of questions about some of the events in the Bible even before I’ve taken this class. I had a great start with this class as it emphasized how the characters in the Bible were also humans who were imperfect and prone to make mistakes. From that, I was able to start discussing some of my questions with friends even outside of class. This course also helped me to think about my vocation in life and what factors to think about before deciding that it is really what I want to do in life. I really appreciate how this course somehow forces me to reflect and assess myself about a lot of things, may it be related to my faith or just my character. I took this class as a requirement but my heart is full to leave this class with a lot of learnings, both academic and personal.

JENA: TAKING A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE As a not-so-religious person, I realized that many lessons could be learned from the Bible. Lessons that I can take and reflect on in my everyday life. Part of me still believes that a higher power is overseeing us. However, there is also a part that rejects organized religion in the sense that most discriminate instead of welcoming those who face difficulty fitting into society’s standards. Through this course, I realized that by looking at things from a different perspective, these lessons could be interpreted in a way that relates to current society’s issues and problems. It may not even be significant to a large number of people, but words that provoke thought and discourse among a small group or even two people. An example of which is the language of apology. Learning and understanding this concept may help improve the state of relationships between people. Concepts like these help bridge the gap between what some may call outdated text and applicable teachings that remain relevant in the current state of the world.

BEA: PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER IN RETROSPECT Looking back on the activities and discussions I took part in for the past several weeks, I can say that my journey of taking LCENWRD has been such a gratifying experience. Through this course, I was able to study the Word of God, interpret the message of some Gospel stories, uncover mysteries surrounding the nativity of Jesus, analyze how Jesus is represented in the various books of the New Testament, or even in the visual arts, tackle holiness, and, finally, delve deeper into the different types of vocation and their significance to the life of a person. Notably, the insightful lectures about Jesus’ life and teachings affirmed the founding principles of my Christian belief and even strengthened my faith in Him who paid the price for humanity’s sin 2000 years ago. It helped me to see the Bible as historically reliable and valuable and to better appreciate the God-inspired verities written on it — many of which, if not all, still remain relevant up to this day. On the other hand, the discussion of holiness made me realize the importance of participating in the divine life and following the example of Jesus in order to become transformed, more holy, and sanctified. Lastly, the discourse on vocation helped me discover truths about myself, evaluate and assess my life’s purpose, and thereafter prepare myself to take on the commitment of pursuing who I’m called to become: someone who serves God and others through the scientific knowledge and engineering training that she has been equipped with.

TOM: SELF REFLECTION

The course has truly helped me to understand more about Jesus and how his teachings can be applied to our daily lives. From the course, I was able to learn the importance of reflecting on oneself, especially in the discussion of bible verses. It helped me understand that the Bible is not just a book of stories, but also a guide for our daily lives. One of the most valuable lessons I learned from this course was through the discussion of vocations. It made me realize that life is not just about what we do, but also about why we do it. I have come to understand that we all have a unique purpose in life, and discovering that purpose is key to living a fulfilling life. Through the discussion of vocations, I was able to identify my own talents and passions and how I can use them to serve others. The Love and Apology Languages activity was also a valuable lesson in the course. I learned that people have different ways of expressing love and apologies, and understanding these differences can greatly improve our relationships with others. It made me realize how much I've changed over the past year and how I now have a better understanding of how to express my love and apologies in a way that is meaningful to others. Moreover, the course has helped me understand the importance of commitment. Commitment is not just a word; it's also about taking action. Jesus transmitted this to his teachings and his followers, and it's something that we can all learn from. I now understand that commitment is essential to achieving our goals and living a fulfilling life.

A U T H O R S

BEATRISSE BUSTAMANTE AUTHOR/INTERVIEWER

MARIA JENA ISABEL GUSI AUTHOR/INTERVIEWER

MARIAH LANSANGAN AUTHOR/INTERVIEWER

CHRISCHELL LUCAS AUTHOR/INTERVIEWER

TOM MARTINEZ AUTHOR/INTERVIEWER

JASPER TAN AUTHOR/INTERVIEWER

JUSTINE VILLANUEVA AUTHOR/INTERVIEWER