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OCTOBER, 2022    •

WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY Story tellers Former Yugoslavia region

MONTENEGRO NORTH MACEDONIA

SERBIA BOSNIA&HERZEGOVINA

CROATIA SLOVENIA

Mental Health "Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.'' World Health Organization

Mental health and physical health are the two components of health, they are integrally connected and interconnected to the general health of a person. For example, depression increases the risk for many physical health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease. Chronic diseases can increase the risk of mental illness. Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, social and physical well-being. The level of motivation, general well-being and a number of other psychological conditions depend on our mental health. With proper mental health care we move towards making conscious and healthy choices for ourselves. Mental health is important at every stage of life, starting from childhood until the third and fourth stages of human life. Just as our physical health is not constant, so is our mental health. A very important part is changeability, mental health is constantly exposed to changes.

The mental state in which a person finds himself depends on many factors, on many daily periods and circumstances. If someone is dealing with difficulties at work, college, has a sick person in the family, is going through an economic crisis, is worried about his future and many other situations, there is a high probability that that person has impaired mental health. Mental health can be disturbed by a variety of life experiences such as experienced trauma, violence, hereditary factors, addictions. Terms that are often used interchangeably are poor mental health and mental illness, these terms are different and have different connotations. A person can have impaired, poor mental health and not have a pathological diagnosis of mental illness. Also, a person who at some point is diagnosed with a certain mental illness can experience periods of well-being. Every person in certain unfavorable circumstances can come to impaired mental health and impaired mental state, the well-known labels towards people with impaired mental health as aggressive, withdrawn, shy and attacking are myths, namely no person is defined on the basis of the condition not theirs health, as well as people with mental illnesses that are much more than the current mental state.

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Mental Health & Former Yugoslavia region Mental health is a taboo topic in the Balkan region, in order to understand the way mental health is treated in the former SFR countries, it is necessary to know the history and past of the people from these areas. The Balkan wars, communism and the post-communist development of each country play a big factor on the mental well-being of the people of the region. In addition to the traumas of the wars, financial and administrative challenges contribute as an additional factor that impairs mental health (Tomov, 2001). A number of studies indicate that posttraumatic stress disorder and depressive disorder are widespread in the region. In Serbia, as many as 48% of respondents described themselves as having a poor mental health status, and 4.9% were diagnosed with chronic depression (Sandrić-Milčević, 2016). In Croatia, research shows that women are exposed to an increased risk of impaired mental health after the collapse of socialism. A study conducted on refugees who survived the war in Bosnia and Herzegovina shows that 30% were diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, and 28% with depressive disorder, while the most frequently cited answer was "bombarding" (even 70% of respondents). Studies show that Slovenia may be influenced by unequal availability of mental health services and quality of depressive disorder treatment. The population with high rates of socioeconomic deprivation have the lowest access to mental care, although the are the ones who need it the most.

The states in the region are poor in state bodies dedicated to mental health, prevention and treatment.. Croatia started deinstitutionalizing mental health centers as early as 1990. North Macedonia experienced deinstitutionalization with the official establishment of a national mental health policy in 2005. Montenegro has the highest per capita consumption of the entire Balkans, while Kosovo has no national health insurance fund and access to mental illness treatment is limited. Research shows that 50% of the inhabitants of Kosovo, 42% of Bosnia and Herzegovina, 22% of Serbia and Montenegro paid informally out of pocket for care. Poor care for mental illness and mental health can be improved by responsible governing bodies, funding health systems to be free, not reduced to additional out-of-pocket payments for better treatment. Improving perceptions of mental health requires interactive efforts by both the general population and mental health professionals, the first step should be to inform the general population about mental health, its impact and important role. Just as history binds the countries of the former Yugoslavia, so steps towards mental health awareness can link them, through cooperation between the nations of the former Yugoslavia can improve mental health perceptions and care.

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" Naučimo da puzimo, da bismo mogli da hodamo, da bismo mogli da trčimo." -beznadežni altruista – Montenegro

Naučimo da puzimo, da bismo mogli da hodamo, da bismo mogli da trčimo. Rastući i ubrzavajući život, našla sam se ispred visoke staklene zgrade. Staklo je odrazio malu mene u ogledalu i osjetila sam se sićušnom. Padala je kiša i kao da je ona zamaglila viziju stajla sam nepomična. Uzela sam naočari i očistila kapi kiše koje su doprinijele cjelokupnom zamagljenju. Pogledala sam još jednom i osjetila kako strah počinje da me izjeda iznutra, i bilo mi je hladno. Ugrizla sam se za jezik i djevojčica u meni je vrisnula NE! Zaustavila je strah na pragu svoje duše, time što je bila svjesna svojih sposobnosti. Sa nježnošću me je podsjetila koliko je jaka i koliko .

je voljna da uči nove stvari. Nije mi dozvolila da se ikada osećam malo, a kamoli da se osećam malo pored nečeg velikog što je neko poput mene stvorio. Šaputala je da je njena moć njen um i da je samo pomisao na snagu čini jakom. Ona je ja, a ja sam sposobna da stvaram. Osjeti svoju vrijednost u sposobnosti stvaranja znajući da možeš! Budi ti u punoći toga.

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" Learning to crawl, so we could walk, so we could run." -hopeless altruist – Montenegro

Learning to crawl, so we could walk, so we could run. Growing and adding speed to life, I found myself standing in front of a tall building made of glass. It reflected my little self in the mirror and I felt small. It was raining and as if the rain fogged the vision I stood there unable to move. Took my glasses of and cleaned the raindrops that added up to the overall blur. I took another look and realized how the fear started to eat me from inside, and it felt cold. I bit my tongue and a girl in me screamed NO! She stopped the fear at doorstep of her soul, just by being aware of her abilities. She reminded me kindly of .

how strong she is, and how willing to learn new things. She didn’t allow me to ever feel little, let alone to feel little next to something great that someone like me had created. Whispered that her power is her mind and that just a thought of strength makes her strong. She is me, and I’m capable of creating. Feel your worth in ability of creation by knowing that you can! Be yourself in the fullness of it.

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Тогаш почнав да работам со психолог, заради значителни симптоми на анксиозност, депресија, панични напади и ПТСН кои ме попречуваа(т) во секојдневното функционирање. Имав 8 години кога дедо ми се самоуби по 9 дена откако баба ми, неговата сопруга, почина и јас ја видов таа сцена. Никој не зборуваше за тоа цели 14 години. Така се запознав со депресијата. Тоа беше првата траума која ја искусив. Кога имав 19 години, бев жртва на сексуално насилство од страна на мојот брат близнак. Ништо не беше исто потоа. Иако вети дека тоа никогаш нема да се повтори и дека се кае за тоа, сѐ уште не можам да му простам, особено знаејќи дека и тој бил жртва на сексуално насилство во детството од страна на друг член во нашето фамилија. Нашите родители не знаат за ова. На 21 година бев силувана од страна на друга личност која ја познавав и мислев дека ми е пријател. Моите не знаат ни за ова. Нецела година потоа, во рок од 10 дена починаа другите баба и дедо, од корона. Тогаш почнав да работам со психолог, заради значителни симптоми на анксиозност, депресија, панични напади и ПТСН кои ме попречуваа(т) во секојдневното функционирање. Покрај психотерапија имав потреба и од медикаменти и тогаш симптомите беа третирани и намалени. Но и покрај едногодишна континуирана конзумација, сѐ уште се борам со депресијата и анксиозноста и со суицидни мисли. Пред еден месец видов друга сцена на самоубиство. Животот ми е опишан со самоубиство и сексуално насилство. Но, мојот партнер е од огромна поддршка и заради него, неговиот обид за самоубиство пред повеќе години и ветувањето што си го дадов по самоубиството на дедо ми и заради луѓето кои ќе ги повредам ако го сторам тоа, се обидувам да ја одбегнам таа опција. Моментално не сум во контакт со психолог, но секој ден одново, се убедувам да ја побарам помошта која ми треба. Некој ден наскоро, можеби ќе успеам.

24, Женско – Северна Македонија

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That's when I started working with a psychologist, due to significant symptoms of anxiety, depression, panic attacks and PTSD that interfered with my daily functioning. I was 8 years old when my grandfather committed suicide 9 days after my grandmother, his wife, died and I saw that scene. No one talked about it for 14 years. That's how I was introduced to depression. That was the first trauma I experienced. When I was 19, I was sexually assaulted by my twin brother. Nothing was the same after that. Even though he promised it would never happen again and that he regrets it, I still can't forgive him, especially knowing that he was also a victim of childhood sexual abuse by another member of our family. Our parents don't know about this. At the age of 21 I was raped by another person I knew and thought was my friend. Mine don't even know about this. Less than a year later, within 10 days, the other grandparents died from corona. That's when I started working with a psychologist, due to significant symptoms of anxiety, depression, panic attacks and PTSD that interfered with my daily functioning. In addition to psychotherapy, I also needed medication and then the symptoms were treated and reduced. But despite a year of continuous use, I still struggle with depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts. A month ago I saw another suicide scene. My life is described by suicide and sexual violence. But my partner is incredibly supportive and because of him, his suicide attempt years ago and the promise I made to myself after my grandfather's suicide and the people I'd hurt if I did, I'm trying to avoid that option. I am not currently in contact with a psychologist, but every day, I convince myself to seek the help I need. Someday soon, I might make it.

24, Female – North Macedonia

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Na sviju sam gledala kao na suparnike u dvoboju a ako moje ime nije bilo na samom vrhu liste, to bi mi teško padalo i taj osjećaj bi trajao dugo. Problem s kojim sam se borila potječe još iz ranog djetinjstva, mada tad nisam to viđala kao neki problem. Naime, riječ je o perfekcionizmu. Od malena sam stalno željela „raditi stvari bez truna greške“, što naravno nije bilo moguće. Iako nikad nisam imala pritisak od roditelja na akademskom polju, imala sam pritisak koji sam sama sebi zadavala. Drugim ljudima koji su me znali površno, to je djelovalo kao da sam neki super junak, genije, međutim istina je bila daleko od toga. Zbog perfekcionizma i straha da sve neće biti pod konac, izgubila sam mnoge prilike koje su mi se nudile, imala „noćne more“ zbog par izgubljenih bodova na testu. O toksičnosti koja je nastala iz toga, mogao bi se roman napisati. Na sviju sam gledala kao na suparnike u dvoboju a ako moje ime nije bilo na samom vrhu liste, to bi mi teško padalo i taj osjećaj bi trajao dugo. Kritike od drugih su pak imala efekat u dva smjera ili su stvarale aneksioznost ili ljutnju. Poslove koje nisam moglo odraditi tip-top, nisam ni započinjala. Koliko god da je mentalna iscrpljenost bila prisutna, bila je i ona fizička. U tom rivalstvu cijelog svijeta i mene, shvatila sam da se nalazim u teškom stanju. Tad u to vrijeme, odlazak stručnoj pomoći na polju mentalnog zdravlja je bila jednaka odlasku u cirkus. Izvor smijeha i zabave za publiku, dok si ti klaun koji žonglira stojeći na jednoj nozi nekoliko metara iznad tla. Počela sam tražiti savjet na internetu, ali to nije urodilo puno plodom. Sve dok nisam naišla na ljude koji su se borili sa istim problemom. Malo po malo i stanje je počelo ići na bolje. Tragovi su još uvijek prisutni ali napredak je vidljiv. Ja sam možda bila srećna da iziđem samostalno iz „začaranog kruga“, ali neko drugi možda nije.

-Perfekcionista u razvoju – Bosnia & Herzegovina

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I looked at everyone as rivals in a duel, and if my name was not at the very top of the list, it would be hard for me and that feeling would last a long time. The problem I struggled with dates back to my early childhood, although I didn't see it as a problem at the time. Namely, we are talking about perfectionism. Ever since I was little, I always wanted to "do things without a speck of error", which of course was not possible. Although I never had pressure from my parents academically, I did have self-imposed pressure. To other people who knew me superficially, it seemed like I was a super hero, a genius, but the truth was far from that. Due to perfectionism and the fear that everything will not be finished, I lost many opportunities that were offered to me, I had "nightmares" because of a couple of lost points on the test. A novel could be written about the resulting toxicity. I looked at everyone as rivals in a duel, and if my name was not at the very top of the list, it would be hard for me and that feeling would last a long time. Criticism from others, on the other hand, had a two-way effect, either creating attachment or anger. I didn't even start jobs that I couldn't do perfectly. As much as mental exhaustion was present, it was also physical. In this rivalry between the whole world and me, I realized that I was in a difficult situation. Back then, going to professional help in the field of mental health was equivalent to going to the circus. A source of laughter and entertainment for the audience, while you are a juggling clown standing on one leg several meters above the ground. I started looking for advice on the internet, but it didn't bring me solution. Until I came across people who were struggling with the same problem. Little by little, the situation started to improve. Traces are still present, but progress is visible. I might have been happy to get out of the "vicious circle" on my own, but someone else might not.

-Developing perfectionist – Bosnia & Herzegovina

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Да си биде геј и да се живее во заедница како нашава е траума сама по себе. 25, машко - Северна Македонија Да си биде геј и да се живее во заедница како нашава е траума сама по себе. Знаев за мојата сексуална ориентација отсекогаш, никогаш не сум се чувствувал чудно или исплашено, претпоставував дека тоа е процес кој секој го открива кај себе си, за жал тоа мислење не го имаат луѓето околу мене...најтежок период за мене беше периодот на основно и средно училиште каде бев секојдневна мета на потсмев и насилство, кога секој ден на училиште сите машки соученици ќе ме поздравеа со насилно удирање и ќе го коментираа мојот начин на одење, говорење, објаснувањето на професорите беше ,,машки се си играат", тоа беа деновите кога мислев дека мојот начин на одење, мојот начин на говор, мојот начин на љубов се погрешни, сакав да не постојам, единствено нешто што ме водеше во тој период беше љубовта на мојата сестра која секогаш ме поддржуваше, со нејзина помош денес се сакам себе си, си го сакам мојот начин на одење, говорење, постоење. Да се биде геј го гледам како моќ, токму поради тешкиот процес целосното свое прифаќање и верувањето во себе ми значат повеќе од се.

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Being gay and living in a community like ours is a trauma itself. 25, male - North Macedonia Being gay and living in a community like ours is a trauma itself. I have always known about my sexual orientation, I have never felt strange or scared, I assumed that it was a process that everyone discovers in themselves, unfortunately the people around me do not have that opinion... the most difficult period for me was the period of elementary school and high school where I was a daily target of ridicule and violence, when every day at school all my male classmates would greet me by violently hitting me and commenting on my way of walking, speaking, the professors' explanation was, “that’s just boys playing", that were the days when I thought that my way of walking, my way of speaking, my way of loving were wrong, I wanted to not exist, the only thing that guided me during that period was the love of my sister who always supported me, with her help today I love myself, I love my way of walking, talking, being. I see being gay as a power, because of the difficult period I overcame self-acceptance and self-belief mean more than anything to me.

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Svijet se zaista zna srušiti, dođe trenutak kada pomislimo da je kraj. Događaj koji je u tom trenutku toliko nestvaran, toliko snažan da nas vrati deset koraka unazad. Ovaj događaj ponovio mi se nekoliko puta u životu. Prvi put kada sam izgubio svu snagu bio je trenutak kada sam čuo riječi: ,,Razvodimo se, tata će od sutra živjeti negdje drugo.”. U tom trenutku ostao sam bez daha, moje tijelo poplavila je bol, a moje misli su postale prazne. Trenutak šoka i nevjerice, ipak sam ljudsko biće koje je u mogućnosti da osjeti emociju. Sebe sam prije ovo trenutka smatrao snažnim i sposobnim, nakog toga sam izgubio povjerenje u sebe. Ispostavilo se da je ovo bila samo uvertira mog adolescentnog života. Privikavši se na život razvedenih roditelja, život je opet imao smisla. Međutim dogodilo se nešto što je na mene ostavilo trajne posljedice, sada još bolnije riječi presle su preko usana moga oca: ,,Nemoj da se brineš, tata je jak, pobijedit će on”. Šta je to što je morao da pobijedi, bio sam zbunjen. Kao da nisam vjerovao u ono šta sam čuo. U tom trenutku sam se osvjestio, njegove riječi su dobile smisao, otac mi ima rak. Narednih pet godina bile su mučne. Otac, dvije sestre i ja bili smo primorani da se zajedno borimo sa životom, životom koji je sada postao znatno drugačiji. Niko nije bio spreman, a budućnost još nije pokazala sve. Propustom medicinskog osoblja moj otac je ostao paraplegičar. Ponovo nevjerovatne vijesti, svaki put su boljele još jače. Šta je ovo značilo, da li se bliži kraj, ko će se nositi sa svim ovim, ova pitanja su ostavljena meni da pronađem odgovor. Kao dječak od 14 godina nisam imao puno mogućnosti, dobijao sam pomoć od ostalih članova porodice, ali sam se osjećao sam. Uskoro smo ostali otac i ja, makar mi se tako činilo, morao sam da se brinem o svim njegovim potrebama, osjećao sam se da nema kraja. Ovaj period bio je veoma težak za oboje. On, čovjek od 43 godine, ostao je sam sa dijagnozom, skoro neizlječiva bolest koja je sada postala nesavladiva. Iznevjeren od njemu najbližih, kao i medicinskog sistema, ostao je sam da uzgaja mržnju ka svijetu. Postao je mrzovoljan, bijesan i ogorčen. Sa druge strane tu sam bio ja, zbunjen u potpunosti. Potreba da vodim računa o sopstvenom ocu ponekad je postajala zamagljena frustracijama. U tom periodu nisam bio svjestan, nisam prihvatao realnost onakvu kakva je. Oduzeto mi je pravo na normalan život, ovakva razmišljanja su mi svakodnevno rušila razum. Nakon mnogo bolnih dana za obojicu, postali smo najbolji prijatelji, zajedno uvučeni u propast života i neizbježnu smrt koja se njemu bližila mnogo brže nego meni. Neuslovna ljubav je ipak ostala čista, iskrena osjećanja koja smo osjećali jedno prema drugom poslužila su nam da istrajemo. Međutim sa obzirom na situaciju, život je pred mene uskoro stavio još jednu prepreku.

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The world really does know how to collapse, there comes a moment when we think it's all over. An event which at that moment is so unreal, so strong that it takes us ten steps backwards. This event has happened to me several times in my life. The first time I lost all strength was the moment I heard the words: "We're getting a divorce, dad will live somewhere else, starting tomorrow". At that moment I was left alone, out of breath, my body flooded with pain and my thoughts went blank. A moment of shock and disbelief, realising I am still a human being who is able to feel emotion. Untill this moment, I considered myself strong and capable, but after that, I lost my self confidence. It turned out that this was just an overture to my adolescent life. After getting used to the life with divorced parents, life made sense again. However, something happened that left lasting effects on me, now even more painful words came over my father's lips: "Don't worry, dad is strong, he will win". What is it that he had to win, I was confused. As if I didn't believe in what I heard. After that moment, I came to my senses, his words made sense, my father had cancer. The next five years were painful. My father, two sisters and I were forced to struggle with life together, a life that has now become significantly different. No one was ready, and the future had not yet shown everything. By omission of the medical staff, my father remained a paraplegic. Amazing news again, everytime even hurtful. "What did this mean, is the end coming, who will deal with all this?", these questions were left for me to find the answer. As a 14-year-old boy, I didn't had a lot of abilities, I was getting help from other family members, but I still felt alone. Soon, my father and I were left alone, it seemed so to me. I had to take care of all his needs, and it felt like there was no end. This period was very difficult for both of us. He, a 43-year-old man, was left with the diagnosis, almost an incurable disease that has now become unmanageable. Betrayed by those closest to him, as well as the medical system, he was left to cultivate hatred towards the world. He became grumpy, angry and exasperated. On the other hand, there was me, completely confused. The need to take care about my own father sometimes made me fogged with frustrations. In that period, I was not aware, I did not accept reality as it is. My right on a normal life has been taken away and these thoughts were destroying my sanity on a daily basis. After many painful days for both of us, we became best friends, drawn together into the ruins of life and the inevitable death that approached him much faster than me. Unconditional love, however, remained pure, sincere feelings that we felt for each other, helped us to preserve. However, given the situation, life had soon put another obstacle in front of me.

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,,Idemo za Beograd, tata je preminuo” su riječi koje su mi ponovo srušile svijet. Sada sam ostao sam sa mnoštvo lažnih sažaljenja, lažnih očevih prijatelja koji nisu postojali prethodnih godina. Kako da se nosim sa svim tim? Uslijedila je apsolutna propast, mnogobrojni dani provedeni u krevetu postali su godine. Godine samoće sa svojim mislima, sada sam ostao bez ikakvog smisla. Jedina istina koju sam imao, nestala je. Nisam imao volju za životom, razmišljao sam i da ga okončam. Sada nakon 5 godina od kobnog dana, odlučio sam da progovorim svoju istinu, spreman sam na promjenu. Shvatio sam da je život u stvari samo jedna neprestana borba, nered kome moramo dati smisao. Moramo biti spremni da padnemo ali isto tako moramo pomoći sebi. Potraži pomoć!

" Shvatio sam da je život u stvari samo jedna neprestana borba, nered kome moramo dati smisao." -T.A. - Montenegro

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"We're going to Belgrade, dad has passed away", were the words that brought my world down again. Now I am left alone with a lot of fake pity, fake friends of my father who had not existed in the previous years. How do I deal with all this? It led me to an absolute doom, many days spent in bed became years. Years of solitude with my thoughts, left without any sense. The only truth I had, was gone. I had no will to live, I even thought about ending my life. Now after 5 years since that fateful day, I decided to speak my truth. I'm ready for a change. I realized that life is really just one continuous struggle, a mess we have to make sense of. We have to be ready to fall, but also we have be ready to help ourselves. Ask for a help!

"I realized that life is really just one continuous struggle, a mess we have to make sense of." -T.A. - Montenegro

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Vsi se v življenju znajdemo v situacijah, katere nas razžalostijo. Velikokrat se nam zdi določen trenutek tako hud, da ne vemo kako naprej. Sama sem se že znašla v podobnih situacijah. Moja najhujša izkušnja je bila izguba družinskega člana in namreč babice. Vzrok njene smrti je bila bolezen. Moje obdobje žalosti in bolečine je trajalo od odkritja bolezni pa vse do 4 mesecev po smrti. Prvič, ko smo izvedeli za njeno stanje bolezni me je to zlomilo. Bila sem zaskrbljena in nisem mogla spati. Veliko ur sem samo jokala. Nato je sledilo obdobje 2 mesecev, kjer sem babico lahko občasno videvala in zdelo se je da gre vse skupaj na boljše. V enem tednu pa se ji je stanje poslabšalo in kmalu zatem smo prejeli klic, da je ni več med nami. V tistem trenutku se mi je zdelo kot, da se je čas ustavil. Začela sem jokati in v mislih so se mi predvajali vsi moji spomini preživeti z babico. Teden po smrti sem vstala doma in nisem hodila v šolo. Še posebej hudo je bilo na pogrebu in izreki sožalj, kateri so me spravljali v še večji jok. Po pogrebu se mi je zdelo vse skupaj nekoliko lažje. V obdobju, ki je sledilo so bili še zmeraj slabi in joka polni devi. Mnogokrat pa je jok sprožila šola, ki mi je v tistem obdobju šla nekoliko slabše, in potem sem se spomnila še tega dogodka kar je moje mentalno stanje samo še poslabšalo. Počutila sem se na dnu in zdelo se mi je kot, da ne bo nikoli boljše. Pri reševanju moje stiske sta mi pomagala moja starša s pogovorom. Ob strani pa mi je stal tudi moj brat. Sedaj po letu in pol se počutim boljše, bolečina je skorajda minila in ob spominu na babico me oblije toplina ter smeh na lepe čase.

-Mojca – Slovenia

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We all find ourselves in situations in life that make us sad. Many times we feel that certain moment so severe that we don't know how to move forward. I have been in similar situations myself. My worst experience was losing a family member, my grandmother. The cause of her death was illness. My period of grief and pain lasted from the day the disease was detected up to 4 months after death. The first time we found out about her condition made me broaken. I was worried and couldn't sleep. I just cried for many hours. Then came a period of 2 months, where I was able to see my grandmother from time to time, and everything seemed to be going better. Last week of that 2 months her condition has deteriorated and shortly afterwards we received a call that she was no longer with us. In that moment, time seemed to be stopped. I started to cry and all my memories of spending time with her filled my mind. The whole week after the death, I stayed at home and didn't go to school. It was too hard for me especially at the funeral and the condolences, which made me cry even more. After the funeral, it was a bit easier for me to cope with my feeling. In the period that followed, there were still some bad days full of tears. What is more, the school made me even more sad, because i was not doing well and crying was triggered also by situation at school. This whole situation made my mental state even worse. I felt as I hit a rock bottom and it seemed to me as it will never get better. My parents helped me to solve my problem by talking to me. My brother was also supporting me. Now, after a year and a half, I feel better, the pain is almost gone and i feel warmth and calm when I think of my grandmother and all beautiful moments spent with her.

-Mojca – Slovenia

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Имаше денови во кои се чуствував многу осамено. Периодот кога се вселив за прв пат во Скопје да седам со цимери беше доста турбулентен. Јас тогаш бев многу несигурен во себе и како неспремен за сите проемни кои доаѓаа. Пред да почнам со факултет се дружев со луѓе кои многу негативно влијаеа на мене, тие ме доведоа до состојба во која воопшто не се вреднував себе си и не се чуствував добро во своја кожа и како да бев заразен од нивната токсичност добив некаков страв да комуницирам со луѓе, па често избегнував контакт со луѓе на факултет, единствено комуницирав со некои познаници од истиот град. Цимерите ми беа познаници од средно училиште и јас помислив дека би можело тие да ми станат пријатели. Можеби разочарувањето од претходното друштво и очајот кој го чуствував ме наведе да размислувам наивно и да мислам дека туку така можам да станам пријател со некого. Престојот со нив не беше воопшто добар, имаше многу нешта кои секој ден ми создаваја нервози, нехигиената која постоеше многу ми одеше на нерви. Поради мојата емотивност и комплекс на ниска вредност јас се лутев и карав за ситници, но тоа ми влијаеше на целото мое расположение и воопшто нормалното функционирање во текот на денот. Поради тие мои испади цимерите почнаја да ме избегнуваат, па јас добив контраефект, наместо да се спријателам, повтроно луѓето ме избегнуваат. Имаше денови во кои се чуствував многу осамено,. Толку осамен што размислував негативно и навлегував се подлабоко и подлабоко во моите мисли. Па така сите овие работи кои се насобираја во текот на две години ме доведоја до ситуација да помислам на самоубиство, да помислам дека никој не ме сака и дека никогаш нема да имам пријатели. Самата помисла дека сум осамен и немам поддршка од никого ми создаваше чувство на безизлезност и како да не постои решение. Во еден момент по долго размислување добив нервен слом, бев осамен и без никого во станот, посегнав по скалпер и сакав да се повредам, но како да немав храброст. По тој шок молчев и долго размислував. Сфатив дека не се другите криви за мојата состојба, можеби се, но мал процент, најголемата кривица ја носам јас со тоа што самиот не се вреднувам себе си и не сум си поддршка. И од тогаш одлучив самиот на себе да си бидам пријател и самиот на себе да си ги искажувам чувствата и емоциите преку пишување и тоа многу ми помогна..

26, машко – Северна Македонија

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There were days when I felt very lonely. The period when I first moved to Skopje to live with roommates was quite turbulent. At that time, I was very insecure and unprepared for all the changes that were coming. Before I started university I was friends with people who had a very negative influence on me, they brought me to a state where I did not value myself at all and I did not feel good in my own skin and as if I was infected by their toxicity I got some fear to communicate with people, so I often avoided contact with people at university, I only communicated with some acquaintances from the same city. My roommates were acquaintances from high school and I thought they might become friends. Maybe the disappointment from the previous company and the despair I felt led me to think naively and think that I can become friends with someone just like that. Staying with them was not good at all, there were many things that made me nervous every day, the unsanitary conditions that existed really got on my nerves. Because of my emotionality and inferiority complex I used to get angry and fight over little things, but it affected my whole mood and in general normal functioning during the day. Because of those outbursts of mine, my roommates started avoiding me, so I got a counter-effect, instead of making friends, people avoided me more often. There were days when I felt very lonely. So lonely that I thought negatively and went deeper and deeper into my thoughts. So all these things that accumulated over the course of two years led me to a situation where I thought about suicide, to think that no one loves me and that I will never have friends. The very thought that I was alone and had no support from anyone created a sense of hopelessness and as if there was no solution. At one point, after thinking for a long time, I had a nervous breakdown, I was alone and without anyone in the apartment, I reached for a scalper and wanted to hurt myself, but it was as if I didn't have the courage. After that shock I was silent and thought for a long time. I realized that others are not to blame for my condition, maybe they are, but a small percentage, I bear the biggest blame by not valuing myself and not being my own support. And since then I decided to be my own friend and to express my feelings and emotions through writing and that helped me a lot.

26, male - North Macedonia

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Nelagodne situacije nas stavljaju izvan nase zone komfora i u takvim situacijama se zapitamo "zašto bas mene mora ovo zadesiti" ali po mom mišljenju pravo pitanje glasi ka čemu mene ovaj trenutačni problem vodi. -Tea – Slovenia

Da bi uzivali u dobrim stvarima,ponekad nas moraju zadesiti i ne tako prijatne situacije. Sva ta loša iskustva nam pomažu, da se izgradimo kao ličnost. Samim tim posljedično bolje upoznajemo svijet oko sebe ali isto tako sami sebe. Nelagodne situacije nas stavljaju izvan nase zone komfora i u takvim situacijama se zapitamo "zašto bas mene mora ovo zadesiti" ali po mom mišljenju pravo pitanje glasi ka čemu mene ovaj trenutačni problem vodi. Tek na kraju nekog odnosa uvidis banalne sitnice koje su vodile ka završetku istog. Nekad je jako teško razdvojiti se i okončati odnos sa odredjenom osobom zbog godina druženja, veze. Ta prepreka dugoručnog odnosa nam svima zadaje glavobolje jer je teško presjeći naviku druženja. Ali uprkos dugogodišnjem druženju, nedostatak poštovanja druge strane je najbitniji faktor da odnos okončaš. U trenutku svađa koje su učestale na kraju nekog odnosa se osjećaš bespomoćno. Najgora stvar je dilema da li nastaviti dalje ili pokušati izmiriti stvari sa suprotnom stranom. nedostatak hrabrosti da izađeš iz odnosa te vodi ka tome da pristaješ na nepoštovanje i ismijavanje drugih osoba iz društva , ...samim tim se osjećaš kao lopta koju društvo šuta nogama. Poenta je da sa forsiranjem druženja sam sebi štetiš te sam sebi slamaš srce jer su nekad osobe koje smatraš prijateljima nista vise nego osobe koje te iskorištavaju sa izgovorom da "prijatelji su tu uvijek za drugog,,. Iz vlastitog iskustva bih savjetovala svakoga tko se osjeti opravdano manje vrijedno ili poniženo u društvu, da presječe svaki vid komunikacije sa licemjernim osobama. Takav tip osoba će uvijek osuđivati tvoju reakciju na njihova nedjela te pokušati tebe optužiti za svoje licemjerstvo i nezrelo ponašanje. Kad se tuga i nostalgija okončaju za tim osobama i zajedničkim druženjima i kad se cijela situacija slegne, shvatiš da je prekid takvih odnosa donio samo dobro. Posle određenog vremena upoznaš neku novu osobu s kojom izgradiš zdrav i kvalitetan odnos i budeš zahvalan što se baš sve odigralo kako i jest, odnosno u tvoju korist.

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Uncomfortable situations put us out of our comfort zone and in such situations we ask ourselves "why does this have to happen to me", but in my opinion the real question is what this current problem is leading me to. -Tea – Slovenia

In order to enjoy good things, sometimes not so pleasant situations have to happen to us. All those bad experiences help us to build ourselves as a person. As a result, we get to know the world around us better, but also ourselves. Uncomfortable situations put us out of our comfort zone and in such situations we ask ourselves "why does this have to happen to me", but in my opinion the real question is what this current problem is leading me to. Only at the end of a relationship do you see the banal little things that led to its end. Sometimes it is very difficult to separate and end the relationship with a certain person because of years of friendship, relationship. That obstacle of a longterm relationship gives us all headaches because it's hard to break the habit of dating. But despite many years of companionship, lack of respect from the other party is the most important factor to end the relationship. At the moment of arguments that are frequent at the end of a relationship, you feel helpless. The worst part is the dilemma of whether to move on or try to settle things with the opposite party. the lack of courage to get out of the relationship leads you to agree to the disrespect and ridicule of other people from society, ...thereby you feel like a ball kicked by society. The point is that by forcing friendship, you harm yourself and break your own heart, because sometimes the people you consider friends are nothing more than people who take advantage of you with the excuse that "friends are always there for others". From my own experience I would advise anyone who feels justified less valuable or humiliated in society, to cut off all forms of communication with hypocritical persons. Such type of person will always judge your reaction to their misdeeds and try to accuse you of their own hypocrisy and immature behavior. When the sadness and nostalgia ends for those persons and common associations and when the whole situation settles down, you realize that breaking up such relationships brought only good. After a certain time, you meet a new person with whom you build a healthy and quality relationship and you are grateful that everything turned out the way it did, that is, in your favor.

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During elementary and high school I wasn't the most likeable kid. In my family I'm the youngest of three kids and when I was born my parents weren't at all enthusiastic about raising another baby. I didn't get the same treatment as my older siblings, I didn't get in trouble as much, my parents didn't care that my grades were bad or that when I would go out in high school I would come home very late and they didn't exactly care who I was with or what I was doing. That may sound like a dream to some, but to me, it felt like I didn't exist to them. I wasn't important, they didn't care about me. I didn’t feel supported. I felt like I couldn’t be honest with my parents because they never cared about what I had to say. It didn’t matter to them what I did. They would rarely get me birthday or Christmas presents, they already did that with my older siblings, they weren’t interesting to do it again. I have never experienced spending a Christmas with family, my siblings are too old for that they aren’t interested. My parents didn't pay any attention to me. I was emotionally abandoned. I yearned for my parent's attention. And at one point I would settle for anyone's attention. I developed a bad coping mechanism in my childhood. I was loud and selfish, I was always trying to do the craziest thing to garner attention from the teachers and other kids. I would refuse to share my toys, or listen actively to my peers. I would only care about me and think that I was always right. I would stick my nose where it didn’t belong… And I realised late that this behaviour isn't ok, but it was too late and I burned too many bridges, by the time I was in 4th year of high school, I faced the consequences of my actions. I dreaded my birthdays and Christmas celebration, it was expected of me to celebrate with friends and to have grand parties, but I just couldn’t, I didn’t have anyone. And it took a heavy toll on me, I began to feel lonely and it was the worst period of my life. Therapy wasn’t an option it was too expensive, my parents wouldn’t pay for it, they don’t believe in that kind of stuff, I had to work out my mental anguish on my own and it was very difficult. I couldn't wait until university started. that meant I got to turn a new leaf and introduce myself in a good light and leaving a good impression. but living in a small town meant that many people take the same majors in the same university, and I ended up in a class with some of my former classmates, the same people that have a bad image of me. I'd like to think that I have learnt from my mistakes and grown from them, but I'm afraid many people will not give me a second chance and will always associate my name with the grumpy, selfish, attention deprived, always ready to argue me. Again I am lonely.

20, female - North Macedonia

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DImav tezhok period vo koj eden moite roditeli imashe depresija i poradi suicidalni misli morashe da zadrzan vo Klinikata na Psihijatrija,.....Toa beshe navistina tezhok period od mojot zhivot bidekji se soocuvav so neshto sosem novo i nepoznato za mene.Beshe period vo koj morav da pruzam poddrshka,da bidam hrabra,da bidam pottiknuvac,da bidam cvrsta,koga od vnatre me boleshe sekoe delche i srceto mi trepereshe koga odev na poseta,koga od vnatre se raspajgav poradi chuvstvoto deka ne sum napravila dovolno do sega i deka ednostavno nisto ne e dobro vo mojot zhivot.Ona shto mene mi pomogna da go prebrodam toa,bea dve lichnosti na koi mozhev da se potpram i da im raskazham kako se chuvstvuvam,kako seto toa mi vlijae na mene vo moeto sekojdnevno funkcioniranje i sekako seta poddrshka koja tie mi ja pruzija.

I had a difficult period in which one of my parents had depression and had suicidal thoughts, so my parent had to be kept in the Psychiatry Clinic..... It was a really difficult period in my life because I was dealing with something that was new and unknown to me. It was a period where I had to be supportive, brave, to be a motivator, strong, although each part of me was hurting when I had to visit my parent in the hospital, I felt like I have not done enough so far, simply like nothing is good in my life. The thing that helped me get over it were two people I could lean on and tell them how I feel, how it all affects me in my daily functioning, and of course the support they gave me.

22, female - North Macedonia

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U decembru 2020. godine odselila sam u drugu državu koja je za mene bila potpuno nepoznata. U tom periodu mog života bila sam u višegodišnjoj vezi sa svojim tadašnjim momkom. Baš tada, kada sam od voljene osobe trebala podršku i toplu riječ, to se nije desilo. Tik pred moj odlazak sve se promijenilo, naša veza je postala veoma hladna i to je naginjalo ka vidno toksičnom odnosu. Trenutak kada sam stigla u novu državu gledala sam kao mogućnost za promjenu na bolje. Početak je bio jako težak. Zbog virusa Covid19 nisam bila u mogućnosti upoznati nove prijatelje što je dovelo do toga da sam živjela negdje 2 mjeseca, a da nisam poznavala niti jednu osobu iz te okoline. Naviknuta na inače širok krug prijatelja, bila sam primorana vrijeme provoditi sama u svoja 4 zida. To je bio najteži period u mom životu na koji je dodatno uticala, tada jedna od najvažnijih osoba u mim životu, moj partner. Sada sam zahvalna životu na tom periodu jer sada mnogo više cijenim ljude, prijatelje, a posebno one koji su psihički bili uz mene kada je bilo najteže.

"Zbog virusa Covid19 nisam bila u mogućnosti upoznati nove prijatelje ..." -Voyage - Slovenia

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In December 2020, I moved to another country that was completely unknown to me. In that period of my life, I was in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend. Just then, when I needed support and a warm word from a loved one, it didn't happen. Right before I left, everything changed, our relationship became very cold and it was leaning towards a visibly toxic relationship. I saw the moment when I arrived in a new country as an opportunity for a change for the better. The beginning was very difficult. Due to the Covid19 virus, I was not able to meet new friends, which led to the fact that I lived somewhere for 2 months without knowing a single person from that area. Accustomed to an otherwise wide circle of friends, I was forced to spend time alone in my 4 walls. It was the most difficult period in my life, which was additionally influenced by one of the most important people in my life at the time, my partner. Now I am grateful for the life of that period because now I appreciate people, friends, and especially those who were by my side mentally when it was the most difficult.

"Due to the Covid19 virus, I was not able to meet new friends ..." -Voyage - Slovenia

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Organizers and editors: Daniel Smiljkov - Faculty of Philosophy at UKIM - Skopje, Macedonia Ognjen Bobičić - Faculty of Applied Science - Psychology at the University of Donja Gorica - Podgorica, Montenegro Project collaborators: Lejla Kanurić - Faculty of Philosophy, University of Ljubljana - Ljubljana Slovenia Lejla

Mašinović - International Faculty in Sarajevo - Sarajevo,

Bosnia&Herzegovina Nika Marković - Faculty of Philosophy, University of Zagreb - Zagreb, Croatia Lejla Elezi - Faculty of Philosophy, University of Pristina - Pristina, Kosovo

Sources: Chronic Illness & Mental Health. Bethesda, MD: National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Mental Health. 2015. Korosec-Jagodic, H., Rokavec, T., Agius,M., Pregelj, P. (2013). Availability of mental health service providers and suicide rates in Slovenia: a nationwide ecological study. University of Ljubljana, Faculty of Medicine, Department of psychiatry Maya E. Lee (2019). Practices and Perspectives on Mental Health in the Balkan Countries: A Narrative Review. Indiana University Journal of Undergraduate Research | Volume V Strengthening Mental Health Promotion. Fact sheet no. 220. Geneva, Switzerland: World Health Organization.

October, 2022.