Introduction The beauty of cultures is that they encompass a wide range of different ways to live life. They come with beautiful traditions on how to cook, how to dress, how to behave, how to love other people, and simply how to live in a way that provides enrichment. The way you are raised impacts you even in the most minute ways and has influence on how you think, how you process, the way you learn, the way you see others, the ways you socialize, and how you form connections with others. As beautiful as families and traditions are, to sit here and say that all traditions or ideals passed down are loving would simply be false and neglect the need for evolution. As a Latina and a Latina woman, I have always been engulfed and mesmerized by the beauty of my culture. From learning how to cook delicious meals from my nana, to learning how to dance to the rhythmic beats of cumbias, to being taught our native tongue, I can wholeheartedly say that the culture is built on love and strong family values. But just as the good was passed down one cannot ignore the ignorance that was passed down as well. Because Latinos typically are a very close nit unit, a lot of our growth and identities is not only dependent on what our family dynamics are, but the communities around us which includes the role America’s influence has on us. In this text I’d like to elaborate how gender roles and ideas specifically in Mexican and Latino culture affects personal identity, sense of self, and romantic relationships. This topic is important because in the Latino culture oftentimes certain ways of thinking such as machismo or the double standard between men and women, are seen as acceptable and they create a lot of mental health issues. Thankfully, there has been more concern and awareness for mental health in American culture, and I feel it is as important to advocate about mental health in Latino culture as up until very recently mental health in Latino culture was nonexistent.

Colina 2

Colina 3 For starters, I’d like to go ahead and state how I qualify to speak upon Latino culture. I am half Mexican and half Venezuelan, but I was raised by my Mexican mother and her family. I grew up in a “traditional” manner where everyone in the family has a role to play in helping raise a child. My village included my mother, her brother, her sister, best friend, and my grandmother a.k.a “nana”. I was the second grandchild but the first girl in my family, so already waiting for me before I was even born was a set of rules that I would later be forced to conform to. Like most girls in Latino families, I quickly learned my “role” in my family as well as the strict code of ethics that I needed to abide by. By three years old I already had my own cooking set and would help my mother in the kitchen. By the time I could speak I already knew that a young lady was not supposed to be foul mouthed. At age 5 I had already known that a young lady should never leave her house without being showered, properly dressed, smelling nice, and having her hair nicely fixed. Now these things aren’t necessarily a bad thing however they set the precedence for who I was supposed to be and in the future the role I was supposed to play. It is what I like to call subconscious grooming. Family Therapy with Ethnic Minorities writes, “An individual’s self-confidence, worth, security, and identity are determined by his relationship to other family members.” So, let’s say I didn’t help in the kitchen, and I was foul mouthed and walked out the house looking like a hooligan. Would my family still love me the way they did? And if they didn’t where would that leave me? As a child you are raised to think that you must always obey your elders and if you don’t there would be consequences. But what happens when the rules and constructs placed upon you do not serve your wellbeing and go against what you believe in? What if instead of helping guide you through life what you were taught hinders your growth and hurts you more? In the Latino culture you learn not only by being told what to do but, also what you see around you and how your peers interact with one another. In

Colina 4 the journal, Family Values of Latino Adolescents, Diaz Guerrero informs us that, “in traditional Latino culture strict gender roles dictate appropriate behaviors and values within the structure of the nuclear and the extended family. The male's role is to discipline the children as well as provide for and protect the family and it is the woman’s sacrifice and selflessness that sustains the reciprocity of obligations, relationships, and ties throughout generations.” The man is the money maker, and the woman is the house caretaker. As a child I would see the men wake up at 4am to go out and make the big bucks while the woman stayed home, cooked, cleaned, got the kids up, took them to school, and catered to just about everyone but themselves. This is what I was shown was what it took to be a “good” woman and that is what I was groomed to be. That is why young girls are gifted cooking sets and young boys are gifted mini lawn mowers. This is why young girls are highly encouraged to help in the kitchen while the boys are instructed to go clean outside. The woman must always be helpful, subservient while the man must always be manly and a provider of a service.

Colina 5 The eldest

I’d like to take the time to really focus on a group of young individuals who are almost always looked over but play a very crucial role in the family unit. The eldest child. On top of already having feminine and masculine guidelines to follow the eldest or the eldest children are also subjected to their own unique set of conditions. Typically, in the Latino household the eldest female also has the task of helping raise her younger siblings when mother and father cannot. Latinos teach their girls that it is a steppingstone or a sort of practice taking care of their younger siblings because one day they will need to know how to take care of their own. Even as young children the women begin to feel that pressure of having to sacrifice their time, their needs, and wants to help the family as a whole and this is something that is carried on

Colina 6 well into adulthood. The first-born male of the family goes up quickly in rank as they are seen as the one to carry on the proud last name of their families. Latino culture is very patriarchal so in the absence of the father the young son is looked to as the head of the household and is responsible of protecting their mother and younger siblings. In a tool published for greater cultural competence called Basic Concepts of La Familia Latina by Kimber J. Nicoletti, the breakdown of the gender roles of children are as follows; Boys are taught that the woman’s domain is the kitchen and the man’s domain is the outside world. Boys are taught to look after and protect their sisters. They are taught to behave like men, to have adventures, to experiment and to experience life directly. Girls are taught to keep house, help mother, and watch over brothers and sisters. They are taught to be feminine and encouraged to be like their mother. They are discouraged from experimenting like their brothers. Familism or familismo is the construct of cultural orientation, familism is multifaceted and includes a focus on assistance and support, feelings of respect, and sense of obligation to family members.

Colina 7

Machismo and Marianismo

As was mentioned above, Latino culture is patriarchal based and that stems from two forms of ideology. The first and most common goes by the name machismo. Machismo is a form of masculinity that asserts the dominance and superiority of males in society. Machismo is characterized by hyper virility or aggressive masculine behavior. The “machos” embody physical strength, courage, self-confidence, heightened sexual power, and bold advances towards women. Machos believe in the superiority of men over women and also adhere to conservative gender roles (Age of Revolution 2017). Machismo doesn’t just remain a value taught in the home, but it also ventures out into the public sphere. Machos naturally assume high positions in politics, business, the economy, as well as the military. It is the belief that they are naturally

Colina 8 better suited to handle high positions of power due to their superiority, and with the idea that higher positions of power equate to more money and more money helps better provide for their families. Machismo also shares the concentrated belief that the place of the woman is at home attending to her husband and children’s needs. She is also charged with the task of taking care of the home as well as any other domestic needs. Women’s main role is to be a nurturer and a caretaker. With machismo being so prevalent in Latino culture it is often taught at a very early age with focal points of discipline being “don’t play with that, that is for girls” or “what are you a pussy? You need to be a man and men don’t behave that way.” Although a goal of machismo is to inspire courage and strength it is more often turned into a form of oppression and a construct young boys end up feeling forced to follow in fear of appearing weak. Men/boys who are not macho tough or who choose not to subscribe to that construct are often ridiculed and belittled by their fathers and their peers. Machismo does not only promote physical, sexual, and economical dominance but it also promotes emotional incapacity as well. Latino men are raised to believe that showing emotion is a sign of weakness or homosexuality. Emotions are meant to be felt by

Colina 9 women as they are seen as feminine and feminine alone. A man must always maintain his composure and appear unbreakable. This then also leads to unhealthy forms of coping with stressors as well as the need to act out on impulses. The second ideology is a less commonly one called marianismo. Marianismo is the parallel opposite of machismo. Marianismo derives from the Virgin Mary or Maria de Guadalupe in the catholic faith. The marianismo ideal is modeled after the Virgin Mary for her saintliness and her submissiveness (Age of Revolution 2017). As stated in religious text the mother of God was immaculate and eternally giving, this then created the basis for femininity in Latin American countries. According to Age of Revolution in 2017, marianismo expects women to model themselves after Mary and to accept their roles as mothers and wives. Women are to be pure, humble, emotional, kind, compliant, vulnerable, unassertive, and enduring of suffering. Women are to live in the shadows of their husbands and children and should support them continuously. Marianismo also sets the expectation that they are not to challenge machismo. They must tolerate their husband’s aggressiveness, infidelities, arrogance, and stubbornness. Their place is to be at home and not in the workforce and to put all else before themselves. As a pure woman, she is not allowed to be sexual and is shunned if she were to commit adultery against her husband. Unlike her husband she must always be gentle and is allowed and expected to be emotional. Vulnerability amongst women is encouraged and although it is not seen as a vulnerability towards them, their vulnerability is also used as an oppressor towards them as machismo believes that women could not hold positions of power because of their “uncontrollable emotions.” What is seen as a keen determining factor of a “good” woman’s femininity is also something that is also used against her.

Colina 10

Colina 11 Media Biases and How They Influence Latino Perception and How They Add to Stereotypes Apart from the things we are taught at home, a huge contributing factor to how we learn is through the media. As a Latina myself I have always known and experienced how America has not been so welcoming and how in the media we have been portrayed as unworthy. Within our own communities we face a great deal of scrutiny and pressure to be a certain way. Now mix that with the influence of America, and what you get is confusion about who you are supposed to be and furthermore the feeling of entrapment because you are not free to choose who you want to be. A study conducted by the National Hispanic Media Coalition in 2012 found that non-Latinos used the words “welfare recipient” and “less educated” to describe Latinos as a whole. That same survey also asked its participants to reflect on the kinds of roles they experienced Latinos to partake in and the results concluded that the top three roles’ Latinos were casted as were criminals or gang members, gardener or landscaper, and maid or housekeeper.

Colina 12 Other statistics from this study include: • 71% see Latinos in criminal or gang member roles very often or sometimes. • 64% frequently see Latinos as gardeners • 5% or less never see Latino actors play criminals, gardeners or housekeepers • 47% hardly ever see Latino attorneys or judges on tv or film. • Only 5% see Latinos in roles as doctors, nurses, lawyers or judges very often.

Studies such as these not only illuminate the misrepresentation of the Latino people in America but also cause even more prejudice against them. History has always shown the dangers of prejudice physically, financially, socially, but what about emotionally and psychologically? Doctors Tukachinsky, Mastro, and Yarchi in the Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media write, “Belonging to an esteemed group is psychologically rewarding (potentially boosting self-concept, esteem, and attitudes toward one’s group), whereas association with a devalued group can have negative psychological consequences (including a deflated sense of self-worth and group esteem, among others). Therefore, not surprising that media exposure has the potential to pose a social identity threat and lower group members’ personal and group esteem when negative and unfavorable messages about one’s group are presented. These findings are consistent with research on social identity threat which indicates that marginalized group members may experience negative emotions such as vicarious shame

Colina 13 when negative stereotypes about their group are confirmed, in either real-world or mediated contexts.” The sense of self is very important to the Latino community and provides security. The Latino race is a very proud one and these negative depictions in the media ignite a certain aggressiveness and the feelings of being unwanted. Oftentimes Latinos immigrate from their homelands to America in search of a better life for themselves and their families or to escape the dangers and oppression of their third world countries and to get here and be met with such unwelcome and inhumanity is quite disheartening. To feel like you cannot make it in your own country where you feel comfort to then come to a new country that is claimed to be the “land of the free” and a place with booming opportunity only to be outcasted and not given the opportunity to succeed. This is not only true for Latino immigrants but even for Latino Americans. We are too brown for America yet too white for our native countries. Which leaves us in the middle or not really knowing where we belong and with the media further reminding us of these disparities further creates confusion and lowered self-esteem and self-worth.

Colina 14

How these Roles and Stigmas Harm Both Men, Women, and Their Families These stigmas and the machismo and marianismo culture affect just about everyone in the Latino culture. The men grow up having a superiority complex that stunts their growth, the women allow men and others to belittle them and train them to believe they are incapable, and the children grow up watching both thinking that this is okay and further spread that ideology. Skogrand, Hatch, and Singh write, “Traditional gender roles in the Latino culture greatly affect marriage and family dynamics.” These stereotypes often lead women to “define themselves through their family and children rather than independently or as a couple” (Brown 2006) and the men cultivating and spreading machismo, a twisted and very backwards concept of masculinity. This topic is important presently because in the Latino culture oftentimes these ways of thinking, or these values and customs are seen as acceptable and what they create is mental health disparities and crisis with their sense of self.

Colina 15

This idea personally always piqued my curiosity because a lot of these stigmas and cultural values harmed me as a child and continue to harm me as a young woman. The fact that I am expected in order “to be considered a “good woman” must remain a “virgin until marriage and… invest devotion, loyalty, and nurturance in the family” (Hurtado, 1998)” or to be subservient to a man, or that my main objective in life was to aspire to marriage and having children was something that was always detrimental to the forming of my identity and quite frankly to my willingness to date and explore sexuality. I would look to my male friends and family members and notice that they not only held women to outrageous standards as well but that their social and emotional development was always stunted and frowned upon when they tried to harness it. According to a study published on National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), “machismo (traditional machismo) and marianismo (family and spiritual pillar dimensions) were associated with higher levels of negative cognitions and emotions.” And these negative emotions affecting both genders of course cause damage between Latino communities but also to society and the world creating biases about us. Doing Science Within a Culture of Marianismo and Machismo concludes that the “negative characteristics of these

Colina 16 ideologies is destructive. They comprise a ―cult of virility in which the chief characteristics…are exaggerated aggressiveness and intransigence in male-to-male interpersonal relationships, and arrogance and sexual aggression in male to female relationships. Negative behavior is performed through the male body and through a man’s ability to use his physicality for dominance. Sexual episodes, alcohol consumption, dare-devil behavior, fights, and domestic abuse are typically attributed activities. Domestic abuse is such a common characteristic of machismo that when people refute the characterization of a particular man as being macho, they will often point out that he does not beat his wife and, therefore, he isn’t a macho. Macho behavior is accompanied by vulgar language, sadistic insults, [and] the utter degradation of women. Marianismo is performed though a collection of behaviors that are ascribed as positive. The idealized Mexican woman is the mother the source of boundless love and ―absolute selfsacrifice. This maternal ideal is justified because women are ―spiritually and morally superior to men, so they should be ―self-negating and martyrs for their children. However, marianismo is not limited to mothers. All Mexican women are subjected to the ―stereotypes of marianismo, such as submissiveness, abnegation, and passivity, including bearing ―the indignities inflicted on them by men. In the family, marianismo requires making the male ego the center of attention, and mothers and sisters cater and defer to him.” The impacts of these ideologies create aggressive men who are capable of harm to themselves, other men, and women. These ideologies also encourage them to be incapable of expressing their emotions in healthy and productive manners which leads to emotional duress over time. The impacts of these ideologies create passive women who are more susceptible to depression, anxiety, and

Colina 17 abuse. It makes women believe that they have only one purpose and that purpose is not to find wholeness with herself but through tireless serving of others.

Colina 18

How Ridding Ourselves of These Stigmas Promote Healthier Women, Men and Families and How to Encourage Eradication of These Stigmas I’d like to first say that it does not matter who you are, where you come from, or how you were raised, there is always the chance to do better and be better. The goal of this section is to provide evidence as to how eradicating these cultural norms can highly benefit both Latino/a men and women and therefore the Latino communities as a whole. Men should be allowed to feel and process their emotions in healthy manners and women should be encouraged to aspire to more than being a homemaker. As stated in the journal Gender Dynamics in Mexican American Families: Connecting Mothers’, Fathers’, and Youths’ Experiences by Lam, McHale, and Updegraff, “Modern educational systems expose students to democratic ideals and female role models, and not surprisingly, more educated individuals have more egalitarian attitudes about marital roles.” Unfortunately, ignorance is still something that runs very rampant in the Latino culture and the best fight against ignorance is knowledge. The gift of education is one of the best things you could ever give to yourself and here in this context it is the key to dismantling these ideologies. Higher education also leads to better paying jobs. A longitudinal study based on a national representative sample from the US indicated that wives who contributed more to the household income had more egalitarian gender role attitudes (Lam, McHale, and Updegraff). More egalitarian roles and ways of thinking foster growth for both men and women and inspire

Colina 19 respect. With respect, one is more willing to compromise and work as a team so that not only tasks, but life gets done in less strenuous circumstances. Respect also brings more empathy towards one another and when there is empathy it allows people to come to common ground and work on themselves and on the relationship. Healthy interactions between men and women, mom and dad also promote acceptable forms of communication, problem solving, and the ability to hold and nurture healthy relationships for children. Parents are theorized to play roles as models, opportunity providers, and instructors in youth gender development. As models, parents indirectly convey gendered messages by engaging in gender-typed activities. And finally, as instructors, parents explicitly communicate their beliefs about gender roles by providing instruction and guidance to their youths, and such processes should lead youths with traditional parents to develop more traditional attitudes themselves (Lam, McHale, and Updegraff). Parents are the roadmap to the success of their children. When a parent breaks those generational curses they become key in ensuring that those stigmas remain broken. Some of the ways to help dismantle them would first be to have honest conversations about what these ideologies are and how they create harm. Because this is a way of life and has been for decades a lot of the times people may not necessarily know that they are imposing this on their children or their peers. Sometimes it is all they know. By confronting it and educating yourself about it you are more inclined to be more mindful and to not continue those behaviors. The next thing would be to not put so much importance on gender. What I mean by this is eradicating the notions of “you can’t do that because you’re a girl” or “men shouldn’t cry” or “the man’s obligation is to provide, and the woman’s is to cater”. Comments such as these hold so much power that I don’t think people really acknowledge their harm. By granting

Colina 20 children the freedom to express themselves the way they want to in healthy manners uplifts them and allows them to develop a higher sense of self. With a higher sense of self, the child is more aware of their wellbeing and what is conducive to them, but they are also going to be more aware of what is conducive to the people around them. And finally, being a good role model is one of the best things you could do for a child. Making sure that you have healed your wounds and your traumas so that to not pass them down is perhaps the most crucial aspect to raising well rounded human beings with the capabilities to love, teach, nurture, and handle conflict.

Colina 21 Works Cited Skogrand, Linda, et al. “Understanding Latino Families, Implications for Family Education.” Citeseerx.ist.psu.edu, July 2005, citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.483.9573&rep=rep1&type=pdf. Accessed 13 Oct. 2021. Brown, Thomas, and Raymond Arthur Smith. "Latino Women And Gender Issues". Academic Commons, 2021, https://academiccommons.columbia.edu/doi/10.7916/D8C53SJ0. Accessed 12 Oct. 2021. Lam, Chun Bun, et al. “Gender Dynamics in Mexican American Families: Connecting Mothers', Fathers', and Youths' Experiences.” Sex Roles, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 1 July 2012, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3638960/. Nuñez, Alicia, et al. “Machismo, Marianismo, and Negative Cognitive-Emotional Factors: Findings from the Hispanic Community Health Study/Study of Latinos Sociocultural Ancillary Study.” Journal of Latina/o Psychology, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Nov. 2016, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5102330/. (4) Nicoletti, MSW, Kimber j. Habla Espanol Working with Spanish Speaking Victims. https://nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/Publications_Habla-Espanol-Working-with-Spanishspeaking-Victims.pdf. Zinn, Maxine Baca. “Women of Color in U.S. Society.” Google Books, Temple University Press, https://books.google.com/books/about/Women_of_Color_in_U_S_Society.html?id=X2tO G-Wh8bcC. McHale, Susan M, et al. “Siblings' Differential Treatment in Mexican American Families.” Journal of Marriage and the Family, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2005, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2293294/. Englander, Karen, et al. Doing Science within a Culture of Machismo and Marianismo. 2012, https://vc.bridgew.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1032&context=jiws. Machismo and Marianismo in Latin America, http://historyworldsome.blogspot.com/2013/11/machismo-and-marianismo-in-latinamerica.html. The Impact of Media Stereotypes on Opinions and Attitudes ... 2012 https://www.chicano.ucla.edu/files/news/NHMCLatinoDecisionsReport.pdf .