Bzz Bzz ZZZz zZZ z... ZZ . z..

Hope is...a strong word that appears small, it’s our fuel for never stopping, never letting us go, to never give up. Sometimes, that Hope just...burns out.

My Names Connie, one who’s Hope is barely lit but not quite exstingushed, its been a year since my closest friend Jean... lost their hope, along with their life. They said he must have been in a tough spot before it happened, I question myself if....that tough spot got worse because of me. I thought coming here would help but, I still feel...lost.

Maybe I should clean it sometime...bit filthy.

A year already? Feels like it was yesterday, wouldn’t fix anything though.

Hey Jean, its been a while I know, sorry I haven’t been around...it’s just-

Ugh...God, I thought I told mom where I was goin- wait...t-this can’t be right!

Jean: Where are you Connie? I’ve been waiting here ages for you to show up, you remember where the bridge is right? Don’t tell me you got distracted again. Jean: I’ll wait a little longer, but you don’t got much time left till I leave again.

What kind of sick joke is this?! It can’t be real...surely right? But why now and...why me?... The bridge, thats where it happened....where he left, I need to know if its real.

I haven’t tried going passed that area for over a year now, I just couldn’t after Jean died. Thinking about that day makes my chest heavy, I can’t stop thinking back to what I could have done better for him.

Hey Connie, can we talk for a bit? I’ve....I don’t know how to talk abou-

Not right now Jean, this deadline for the essay has me sleepless everyday.

Yeah, sure... it can wait I guess. Sorry I bothered you and...you know.

Jean O’Hare

Jean, I really need to finish this, can’t it wait?

I never got that text, how low could I have been. In any case...

Just text me later on in the week, but until then let me get this done.

Rest In Peace

He came for my help so many times...and yet I didn’t care, never took the time to listen to him.

You’re not goona hear me out? I know you’re busy but it’s really import-

‘‘One Year from Present day’’

If theres one thing I can do for him now, is to know the truth to this message, one way or another...I have to know.

‘‘37 minutes later’’

?!? Is...is this him? He’s not here though, am I really about to talk o him... do I even deserve to talk to him after everything? Just... answer it already.

?I you ..I e r we one.. ere e Wh d som ld trust e u d nee ht I co re were g r e thou ..so wh alled fo . c you hen i ? w you help

Bzz z Bzz zZz zZz z

It’s funny, I feel so lonely just like he was, It’s like Karma at its finest...and I’ve never felt so empty

I can’t sleep, eat, smiling just feels fake at this rate...it just hurts to keep trying over and over. I’m just so tired of it all, whatever I do it fails somehow. I don’t know...I don’t know where I was, I don’t even know where I am now. I just want it to stop, all of it, I just want to smile without needing to cry after...

Why do I keep doing this to myself, what am I waiting for exactly, no ones gonna care. I just want to run away from it all and never look back, even if I’m leaving behind everything...it would be for the best. Theres just no Hope for me left...and I don’t wanna keep searching if I just gonna find noth-

Would anyone notice? If I just left....never came back? Would they miss me? Do I even care about what I’m saying? What can I-

Connie?! Where are? you haven’t been answering your calls all day?! What?!....Is it him again? Do I even want to bother anwsering? I guess.... theres no harm.

Bzz Bzz Zzz Bzz Zzz Zzz

I couldn’t hold it in any longer at that point, I just started breaking down at that point on call, soon as she heard she demanded I tell her where I was, didn’t take no for an answer.

S-Sasha?! Hey uhh, sorry I just been... walking around thats all. Just needed air and...I guess-

We went back and forth in dialogue, I told her just a little of what was happening, I didn’t want to pile everything onto her, she didn’t judge me though, but instead...told me that it was going to be alright and....I wasn’t alone. But those messages and phone call from Jean, they weren’t on my contacts, it felt so real... was it? This is terrifying to think about, this was worse than I thought it was.

Connie? Are you alright? You sound distressed, listen I’m in town right now, if you need help you can ask me to come find you, right?

‘‘13 minutes later’’ She kept her word, turned up a second sooner than she said, something about that just...gave a bit of reassurance.

I don’t understand any of this, these thoughts they just built up in my head for so long. It hurt so much, but it feels easier now.

Beacuse I’m not alone, no matter how much I tell myself I’m nit truely alone, I have friends, family, I...I still have Hope.