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Structure of the workbook Unit of Competency: BSBPEF502 Develop and use emotional intelligence Part 1 - The workbook is structured to provide knowledge component in the first part including the introduction to the theoretical aspects of the unit and detailed description of the unit of competency knowledge development. Part 2-The development of your skills and knowledge which are sectioned to cover the unit elements and performance criteria to apply your skills and knowledge to gain competency for effective vocational outcomes.

How to use the workbook First develop your knowledge Read the workbook starting with the introduction to the subject of unit of competency and the details to develop your knowledge application. 1. Once reading is complete, attempt the review questions to ensure you develop your knowledge related to knowledge evidence required. Then develop your skills and apply skills and knowledge for vocational outcome 1. Actively read the workbook sections which are sectioned in line with unit elements and performance criteria to confirm the application of skills and knowledge related to achieve effective and efficient vocational outcome. 2. Attempt and complete all the learning activities in the workbook in relevant sections to develop your competency including use of foundation skills.

Copyright © 2021 Dynamics Learning Pty Ltd. 2/23 Foster Street Surry Hills NSW 2010 Australia. (www.dynamicslearning.com.au). This publisher holds the copyright of its reproduction and adaptation. All rights are reserved for publisher and authors including total or partial reproduction or adaptation and the Institute is provided with a license for use and sharing with learners for educational purposes. Edition Compiled by Developed in Review by

:1

: A K Don (MBA (UK), MPA (Aus.), Dip L & M, DipM, FAIM (MCIM, Chartered Marketer – Fmr)) : June 2021 : June 2022

Disclaimer The information contained in this manual is drawn from sources believed to be valid and reliable. The writer, the firm, its employees, agents, and contractors do not warrant the correctness of the sources used and accept no responsibility to any person or commercial body for any errors or omissions or for any loss or damage however caused from the use of this manual. Every effort has been made to ensure that this publication is free from duplication, errors, or omissions. Information used from various sources including online materials, books and journals are tested for their validity, reliability, currency, and rephrased, adapted, quoted, and referenced. However, if unsure, users should conduct their own enquiries and seek professional advice before relying on any fact, statement or matter contained in this book. Information in this unit is current at the time of publication. Some images, charts and graphics appearing in this resource have been developed by the writer and some are accessed and used from various freely available online sources.

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Table of Contents Unit Overview.............................................................................................................................. 3 Introduction to emotional intelligence ......................................................................................... 4 What is emotional intelligence? ......................................................................................................... 4 Positive and negative emotions .......................................................................................................... 5 Application of emotional intelligence attributes .............................................................................. 15 Emotional intelligence principles and strategies .............................................................................. 19 Strategies for communicating with a diverse workforce that has varying expressions of emotion 24 Methods to develop emotional intelligence in others ..................................................................... 30 Emotional intelligence in the context of building workplace relationships ..................................... 36 Skills development and application ............................................................................................ 42 Section 1.................................................................................................................................... 44 Prepare to develop emotional intelligence ................................................................................. 44 Develop evaluation criteria for assessing emotional strengths and weaknesses ............................ 44 Assess emotional strengths and weaknesses against evaluation criteria ........................................ 46 Identify and analyse potential emotional stressors in the workplace .............................................. 51 Identify methods for responding to emotional stressors ................................................................. 57 Seek feedback from others to identify and confirm methods for responding to emotional stressors in the workplace ............................................................................................................................... 61 Section 2.................................................................................................................................... 63 Develop emotional intelligence .................................................................................................. 63 Analyse and document emotional responses of co-workers ........................................................... 63 Develop a plan for identifying and responding to a range of emotional expressions ...................... 69 Apply techniques that indicate flexibility and adaptability in dealing with others in the workplace .......................................................................................................................................................... 72 Apply techniques that show consideration for the emotions of others when making decisions .... 77 Consult with relevant stakeholders and identify improvement areas for own emotional intelligence ........................................................................................................................................ 79 Section 3.................................................................................................................................... 81 Promote development of emotional intelligence in others .......................................................... 81 Identify workplace opportunities for others to express their thoughts and feelings ...................... 81 Develop tasks for assisting others to understand effect of personal behaviour and emotions on others in the workplace .................................................................................................................... 83 Implement identified opportunities and tasks in the workplace according to organisational policy and procedures ................................................................................................................................. 89 References............................................................................................................................... 103

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Unit Overview Unit of Competency BSBPEF502 – Introduction to emotional intelligence

Application of the unit This unit describes the skills and knowledge required to develop and use emotional intelligence to increase self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management in the workplace. The unit applies to individuals who are required to identify, analyse, synthesise and act on information from a range of sources and who deal with unpredictable problems as part of their job role. These individuals may be responsible for leading a team or work area.

Unit Elements 1. Prepare to develop emotional intelligence 2. Develop emotional intelligence 3. Promote development of emotional intelligence in others

Learning Activities This learner workbook is designed with learning activities. At the end of each training session, learners must do learning activities to confirm the application of skills and knowledge that are developed to ensure learning objectives are achieved. Activities are indicated with following icons: Icon

Activity/Description

Icon

Activity/Description

Group Activity  Group discussions  Teamwork

Written task  Written questioning  Written activities  Report writing

Verbal Questioning Trainer directs verbal questioning at learner/s

Presentation Learner makes presentations

Individual verbal presentation Learner present learning

Project work Learner undertakes project work

Role-play Learner plays an assigned role

Case study Lerner undertake a case study

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BSBPEF502 – Introduction to emotional intelligence

Introduction to emotional intelligence What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence (known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you. Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes: 

Self-management – You are able to control impulsive feelings and behaviours, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.



Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behaviour. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have selfconfidence.



Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organisation.



Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

What are emotions? An emotion is a subjective state of being that we often describe as our feelings. The words emotion and mood are sometimes used interchangeably, but psychologists use these words to refer to two different things. Typically, the word emotion indicates a subjective, affective state that is relatively intense and that occurs in response to something we experience. Emotions are often thought to be consciously experienced and intentional. Mood, on the other hand, refers to a prolonged, less intense, affective state that does not occur in response to something we experience. Mood states may not be consciously recognized and do not carry the intentionality that is associated with. Here we will focus on emotion, and you will learn more about mood in the chapter that covers psychological disorders. Employee’s moods, emotions and overall dispositions have an impact on job performance, decision-making, creativity, turnover, teamwork, negotiations and leadership. People are not isolated emotional islands rather, they bring all of themselves to work, including their traits, moods and emotions and their affective experiences and expressions influence others. Employees' emotions are integral to what happens in an organisation and its performance. "Everybody brings their emotions to work. You bring your brain to work. You

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bring your emotions to work. Feelings drive performance. They drive behaviour and other feelings. Think of people as emotion conductors. “Three different types of feelings are as follows: a. Discrete, short-lived emotions, such as joy, anger, fear and disgust b. Moods which are longer-lasting feelings and not necessarily tied to a particular cause. A person is in a cheerful mood, for instance or feeling down. c. Dispositional, or personality, traits which define a person's overall approach to life. "She's always so cheerful," or "He's always looking at the negative." Emotions Do not have to be grand and obvious to have an impact. Subtle displays of emotion, such as a quick frown, can have an effect as well.

Positive and negative emotions Some emotions are positive. Think of happiness, joy, interest, curiosity, excitement, gratitude, love, and contentment. These positive emotions feel good. Negative emotions like sadness, anger, loneliness, jealousy, self-criticism, fear, or rejection can be difficult, even painful at times.

Positive emotions The list of positive emotions that people experience is nearly endless. Not all of these words refer to emotions as scholars understand them, but they are the words most often used by people in describing their own emotions, which gives us a good foundation for positive emotions as they are commonly experienced.            

Joy – a sense of elation, happiness, and perhaps even exhilaration, often experienced as a sudden spike due to something good happening. Gratitude – a feeling of thankfulness, for something specific or simply allencompassing, often accompanied by humility and even reverence. Serenity – a calm and peaceful feeling of acceptance of oneself. Interest – a feeling of curiosity or fascination that demands and captures your attention. Hope – a feeling of optimism and anticipation about a positive future. Pride – a sense of approval of oneself and pleasure in an achievement, skill, or personal attribute. Amusement – a feeling of light-hearted pleasure and enjoyment, often accompanied by smiles and easy laughter. Inspiration – feeling engaged, uplifted, and motivated by something you witnessed. Awe – an emotion that is evoked when you witness something grand, spectacular, or breathtaking, sparking a sense of overwhelming appreciation. Elevation – the feeling you get when you see someone engaging in an act of kindness, generosity, or inner goodness, spurring you to aspire to similar action. Altruism – usually referred to as an act of selflessness and generosity towards others, but can also describe the feeling you get from helping others. Satisfaction – a sense of pleasure and contentment you get from accomplishing something or fulfilling a need.

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             

Relief – the feeling of happiness you experience when an uncertain situation turns out for the best, or a negative outcome is avoided. Affection – an emotional attachment to someone or something, accompanied by a liking for them and a sense of pleasure in their company. Cheerfulness – a feeling of brightness, being upbeat and noticeably happy or chipper; feeling like everything is going your way. Surprise (the good kind!) – a sense of delight when someone brings you unexpected happiness or a situation goes even better than you had hoped. Confidence – emotion involving a strong sense of self-esteem and belief in yourself; can be specific to a situation or activity, or more universal. Admiration – a feeling of warm approval, respect, and appreciation for someone or something. Enthusiasm – a sense of excitement, accompanied by motivation and engagement. Eagerness – like a less intense form of enthusiasm; a feeling of readiness and excitement for something. Euphoria – intense and the all-encompassing sense of joy or happiness, often experienced when something extremely positive and exciting happens. Contentment – peaceful, comforting, and low-key sense of happiness and wellbeing. Enjoyment – a feeling of taking pleasure in what is going on around you, especially in situations like a leisure activity or social gathering. Optimism – positive and hopeful emotion that encourages you to look forward to a bright future, one in which you believe that things will mostly work out. Happiness – a feeling of pleasure and contentment in the way things are going; a general sense of enjoyment of and enthusiasm for life. Love – perhaps the strongest of all positive emotions, love is a feeling of deep and enduring affection for someone, along with a willingness to put their needs ahead of your own; it can be directed towards an individual, a group of people, or even all humanity.

Negative emotions On the other hand, negative emotions are those that we typically do not find pleasurable to experience. Negative emotions can be defined as “as an unpleasant or unhappy emotion which is evoked in individuals to express a negative effect towards an event or person.” If an emotion discourages and drags you down, then it’s most likely a negative emotion. A few of the most commonly felt negative emotions are:        

Fear Anger Disgust Sadness Rage Loneliness Melancholy Annoyance

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Although they are not pleasant to experience, negative emotions really are necessary for a healthy life. This is true for two big reasons:  

Negative emotions give us a counterpoint to positive emotions; without the negative, would the positive emotions still feel as good? Negative emotions serve evolutionary purposes, encouraging us to act in ways that boost our chances of survival and help us grow and develop as people.

There is a good reason for each of the basic emotions, both positive and negative:        

Anger: to fight against problems Fear: to protect us from danger Anticipation: to look forward and plan Surprise: to focus on new situations Joy: to remind us what’s important Sadness: to connect us with those we love Trust: to connect with people who help Disgust: to reject what is unhealthy Positive emotions Interest Inspiration Enthusiasm Laughter Amusement Empathy Curiosity Cheer Contentment Calmness Serenity Peace Trust Bliss Delight Affection

Happiness Pleasure Joy Carefree Ease Satisfaction Fulfillment Hopeful Confidence Optimism Passion Harmony Excitement Gratitude Kindness Love

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Negative emotions Grief Sorrow Heartache Sadness Unhappiness Depression Hatred Blame Regret Misery Resentment Threatening Antagonism Anger Fury Fright/Fear

Hostility Hate Shame Insecurity Self-consciousness Bravado Embarrassment Worry Panic Frustration Pessimistic Cynicism Jealousy Weariness Pain Anxiety

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Emotion Wheel

How to understand our own emotions We all go through life experiencing a complex and multi-faceted spectrum of different emotions, some of which are too difficult to put into words. There are times when we feel things but do not understand why, or have to deal with certain emotions we do not quite know how to process. A lot of us might be tempted to repress what we are feeling because we are too afraid to even admit to ourselves that they are there, but denial, deflection, and dismissal are not healthy coping mechanisms and can even do more harm than good sometimes. Emotions are a natural part of life and they serve to let us know how we are being affected by the things going on in our lives and in ourselves. They are neither positive nor negative, but simply act as signals to point us towards the right direction and help us make sense of what we are going through. And while it may be scary and uncomfortable at times, we need to make the effort to understand our emotions so we can better understand ourselves and our underlying wants, needs, and beliefs.

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1. Happiness One of the first core emotions we all experience is happiness. When we are younger, happiness is often a feeling that comes from a sense of safety and security that our parents bring us. It arises from the knowledge that we are loved and taken care of, and as we grow older, we begin to associate it with feelings of contentment and emotional connection as well. Joy, pleasure, and satisfaction all exist to remind us of what it is that we value most, so think about the times when you feel happiest and you will come to realize what it is you want most in life. Happiness may involve:          

love relief contentment amusement joy pride excitement peace satisfaction compassion

2. Sadness Next comes sadness, an emotion that we feel whenever we experience the loss of something important in our lives. Sadness is a very complex and nuanced emotion, one that can come in many varying degrees and manifest in a lot of different ways. But its most important purpose is to help us process our feelings of grief and disappointment. Feeling sad allows us to take a step back and look at ourselves and our situations to better understand what it is that’s causing us so much pain. It teaches us to be more introspective, resilient, and to learn from our mistakes. When you are sad, you might describe yourself as feeling:           

lonely heartbroken gloomy disappointed hopeless grieved unhappy lost troubled resigned miserable

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3. Anger While it may not seem like it to a lot of us, anger can actually be a very good emotion to experience if we take the time to understand it more. Often manifesting as clenched fists, tense muscles, and a flushed face, our anger begs us for release, so we let it out by stomping our feet, shouting at those around us, and even breaking the things within our reach. We feel frustrated because there is something stopping us from getting what we want, so we lash out to make ourselves feel less helpless against our situation. But anger is meant to do more than just that – it forces us to act and fight against the problem we are facing. Words you might use when you feel angry include:           

annoyed frustrated peeved contrary bitter infuriated irritated mad cheated vengeful insulted

4. Anticipation In the most basic meaning of the word, anticipation refers to a physiological state of arousal that we experience when we are excited, anxious, or uncertain about what’s to come. If you are feeling anxious about something, it’s your mind’s way of reminding you to plan ahead of time and better prepare yourself for the future. But if what you feel is more of nervous excitement, then it means you are doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. 5. Fear Evolutionary psychology tells us that fear is a basic survival mechanism meant to keep us safe from potential danger. It’s why we have an innate fight-or-flight response that’s triggered whenever we feel physically or emotionally threatened by something. But sometimes we feel fear towards things that we are not supposed to, like failure, uncertainty, emotional vulnerability, and the loss of control. Fear keeps us from taking risks, challenging ourselves, and going after what we want. Fear can make you feel:       

worried doubtful nervous anxious terrified panicked horrified

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  

desperate confused stressed

6. Loneliness People feel lonely when they feel isolated and disconnected from those around them. Famous psychologist Abraham Maslow even posited that one of the most basic human needs is the need for belongingness, along with the physiological needs for shelter, food, and water (Maslow, 1943). Because we as humans have a deep-seated need for social interaction, loneliness is meant to signal to us that we need to reconnect with our loved ones and attend to our relationships with those we care about. You can read more about it here in this article: 7 Reasons Why You Feel Lonely. 7. Jealousy Another core emotion familiar to most of us is jealousy, the feeling we get when we want what someone else has. We feel envious of others when we perceive that they are more fortunate than us in some way; that they are happier, wealthier, smarter, or more successful. Jealousy can give way to insecurity and hurt our self-esteem because it makes us think that we are not good enough to have everything we want. It’s important for us to pay close attention to whom we feel jealous of and why because it speaks volumes about what it is we feel is missing from our lives. 8. Disgust Similar to fear and anger, disgust is an emotion rooted in our evolution. We feel repulsed by things that we consider to be unclean or disease-ridden, like cockroaches, rats, waste, and rotten food. We also feel revolted by things that go against our most fundamental social norms such as heinous crimes and certain sexual behaviours. A feeling of intense dislike and aversion, disgust is an emotional response we feel towards something that is unhealthy for us Disgust might cause you to feel:           

dislike revulsion loathing disapproving offended horrified uncomfortable nauseated disturbed withdrawal aversion

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9. Surprise Surprise is something we feel when something unexpected happens to us or those around us. Shock and surprise can intensify whatever emotions we are feeling, like happiness, anger, and despair. When we feel surprised, we become more curious and alert because it forces us to change our perspective and adapt to new situations. 10. Trust Finally, there’s trust, which many would argue is not so much an emotion as a choice. And while it’s true that trust isn’t as instinctive a feeling as these other basic emotions, it’s still a feeling because sometimes you just feel like you can trust someone even if you do not really know them that well yet. Trust is an emotion built on our experiences and it’s meant to remind us of both the good and bad that other people have done unto us so we can better protect ourselves against emotional pain. Often times, trust and love go hand in hand, so when a loved one betrays us, they often lose not only our trust but also our affection.

Learning Activity 1 Identify positive and negative emotions at workplace Activity type

Group discussion (directed and observed by the trainer)

Activity timing

30-45 minutes

Activity description

1. Form groups of 3 to 5 learners per group 2. Appoint a group leader to manage the discussion 3. Discuss about emotions at your workplace, the organisation where individuals work and identify: a. Situations of positive emotions b. Situations of negative emotions 4. And how they affect workplace day-to-day activities and how they impact on achievement of roles and responsibilities of teams and individuals 5. Alternatively, explain each other’s emotional experiences. For example, attitudes and behaviour of some individuals and how they impact on your mood or emotions.

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Intelligence Intelligence is a complex characteristic of cognition. Many theories have been developed to explain what intelligence is and how it works. There’s Sternberg’s triarchic theory of intelligence that focuses on analytical, creative, and practical intelligence, but there is also Gardner’s theory which holds that intelligence is comprised of many factors. Still other theories focus on the importance of emotional intelligence. Multiple Intelligences - According to Howard Gardner, humans have intelligence in at least the following seven areas: 1. Linguistic intelligence—verbal skills often measured in traditional IQ tests by vocabulary tests and reading comprehension. 2. Logical-mathematical intelligence—mathematical skills often measured in traditional IQ tests by analogies, math problems, and logic problems. 3. Spatial intelligence—the ability to form mental images of objects and to think about their relationships in space. 4. Musical intelligence—the ability to perceive and create patterns of rhythms and pitches. 5. Bodily-kinaesthetic intelligence—the ability for controlled movement and coordination, as used in dance or surgery. 6. Interpersonal intelligence—the ability to understand other people's emotions, motives, and actions. 7. Intrapersonal intelligence—the ability to know yourself and to develop a sense of identity.

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Why is emotional intelligence so important? As we know, it’s not the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual ability or your intelligence quotient (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it’s your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one another. Emotional intelligence affects the following areas: 

Your performance at work High emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging important job candidates, many companies now rate emotional intelligence as important as technical ability and employ EQ testing before hiring.



Your physical health If you are unable to manage your emotions, you are probably not managing your stress either. This can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure, suppresses the immune system, increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes, contributes to infertility, and speeds up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to manage stress.



Your mental health Uncontrolled emotions and stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand, get comfortable with, or manage your emotions, you’ll also struggle to form strong relationships. This in turn can leave you feeling lonely and isolated and further exacerbate any mental health problems.



Your relationships By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you are better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.



Your social intelligence Being in tune with your emotions serves a social purpose, connecting you to other people and the world around you. Social intelligence enables you to recognize friend from foe, measure another person’s interest in you, reduce stress, balance your nervous system through social communication, and feel loved and happy.

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BSBPEF502 – Introduction to emotional intelligence

Application of emotional intelligence attributes Four key skills to increasing your EQ The skills that make up emotional intelligence can be learned at any time. However, it’s important to remember that there is a difference between simply learning about EQ and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn’t mean you will—especially when you become overwhelmed by stress, which can override your best intentions. In order to permanently change behaviour in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to overcome stress in the moment, and in your relationships, in order to remain emotionally aware. The key skills for building your EQ and improving your ability to manage emotions and connect with others are:

Building emotional intelligence Key skill 1: Self-management In order for you to engage your EQ, you must be able use your emotions to make constructive decisions about your behaviour. When you become overly stressed, you can lose control of your emotions and the ability to act thoughtfully and appropriately. Think about a time when stress has overwhelmed you. Was it easy to think clearly or make a rational decision? Probably not. When you become overly stressed, your ability to both think clearly and accurately assess emotions, your own and other people’s, becomes compromised. Emotions are important pieces of information that tell you about yourself and others, but in the face of stress that takes us out of our comfort zone, we can become overwhelmed and lose control of ourselves. With the ability to manage stress and stay emotionally present, you can learn to receive upsetting information without letting it override your thoughts and self-control. You’ll be able to make choices that allow you to control impulsive feelings and behaviours, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

Key skill 2: Self-awareness Managing stress is just the first step to building emotional intelligence. The science of attachment indicates that your current emotional experience is likely a reflection of your early life experience. Your ability to manage core feelings such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy often depends on the quality and consistency of your early life emotional experiences. If your primary caretaker as an infant understood and valued your emotions, it’s likely your emotions have become valuable assets in adult life. But, if your emotional experiences as an infant were confusing, threatening or painful, it’s likely you have tried to distance yourself from your emotions. But being able to connect to your emotions—having a moment-to-moment connection with your changing emotional experience—is the key to understanding how emotion influences your thoughts and actions.

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    

Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after another as your experiences change from moment to moment? Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you experience in places like your stomach, throat, or chest? Do you experience individual feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy, each of which is evident in subtle facial expressions? Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both your attention and that of others? Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision making?

If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, you may have “turned down” or “turned off” your emotions. In order to build EQ—and become emotionally healthy—you must reconnect to your core emotions, accept them, and become comfortable with them. You can achieve this through the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment— and without judgment. The cultivation of mindfulness has roots in Buddhism, but most religions include some type of similar prayer or meditation technique. Mindfulness helps shift your preoccupation with thought toward an appreciation of the moment, your physical and emotional sensations, and brings a larger perspective on life. Mindfulness calms and focuses you, making you more self-aware in the process.

Developing emotional awareness It’s important that you learn how to manage stress first, so you’ll feel more comfortable reconnecting to strong or unpleasant emotions and changing how you experience and respond to your feelings.

Key skill 3: Social awareness Social awareness enables you to recognize and interpret the mainly nonverbal cues others are constantly using to communicate with you. These cues let you know how others are really feeling, how their emotional state is changing from moment to moment, and what’s truly important to them. When groups of people send out similar nonverbal cues, you are able to read and understand the power dynamics and shared emotional experiences of the group. In short, you are empathetic and socially comfortable. Mindfulness is an ally of emotional and social awareness To build social awareness, you need to recognize the importance of mindfulness in the social process. After all, you cannot pick up on subtle nonverbal cues when you are in your own head, thinking about other things, or simply zoning out on your phone. Social awareness requires your presence in the moment. While many of us pride ourselves on an ability to multitask, this means that you’ll miss the subtle emotional shifts taking place in other people that help you fully understand them. You are actually more likely to further your social goals by setting other thoughts aside and focusing on the interaction itself.

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Following the flow of another person’s emotional responses is a give-and-take process that requires you to also pay attention to the changes in your own emotional experience. Paying attention to others doesn’t diminish your own self-awareness. By investing the time and effort to really pay attention to others, you’ll actually gain insight into your own emotional state as well as your values and beliefs. For example, if you feel discomfort hearing others express certain views, you’ll have learned something important about yourself.

Key skill 4: Relationship management Working well with others is a process that begins with emotional awareness and your ability to recognize and understand what other people are experiencing. Once emotional awareness is in play, you can effectively develop additional social/emotional skills that will make your relationships more effective, fruitful, and fulfilling. Become aware of how effectively you use nonverbal communication. It’s impossible to avoid sending nonverbal messages to others about what you think and feel. The many muscles in the face, especially those around the eyes, nose, mouth and forehead, help you to wordlessly convey your own emotions as well as read other peoples’ emotional intent. The emotional part of your brain is always on—and even if you ignore its messages—others will not. Recognizing the nonverbal messages that you send to others can play a huge part in improving your relationships. Use humour and play to relieve stress. Humour, laughter and play are natural antidotes to stress. They lessen your burdens and help you keep things in perspective. Laughter brings your nervous system into balance, reducing stress, calming you down, sharpening your mind and making you more empathic. Learn to see conflict as an opportunity to grow closer to others. Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in human relationships. Two people cannot possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However, that needn’t be a bad thing. Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in relationships.

Emotional intelligence domains and competencies Self-awareness

Self-management

Social awareness

Emotional self-control Adaptability Emotional self-awareness

Achievement orientation Positive outlook

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Relationship management Influence

Empathy

Coach and mentor Teamwork

Organisational Awareness

Inspirational leadership

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Learning Activity 2 Application of emotional intelligence attributes

Activity type

Individual verbal presentation (directed and observed by the trainer)

Activity timing

5 - 7 minutes per learner

Activity description

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Identify at least 3-5 of your strong emotions Explain your emotional strengths and weaknesses Explain how you self-regulate your own emotions Explain what motivates you and what demotivates you How you understand others and their emotions (empathy) How you deal with other’s emotions (empathize)

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Emotional intelligence principles and strategies Emotional intelligence principles There are five pillars of Emotional Intelligence, and; on these pillars, a person can be evaluated at the time of hiring. 1. Self-Awareness: Defined as “the ability to decode one’s emotion”. If a person is capable of regulating their emotion is usually better at handling constructive criticism. 2. Self-Regulation: Defined as “the ability to regulate one’s emotion”. If a person manages their emotion and expresses it properly and tactfully then they are less likely for an emotional outburst. 3. Motivation: Defined as “an inner force that drives to work towards satisfaction and accomplishment”. Emotionally Intelligent people are self-motivated and they are usually optimistic and resilient. 4. Empathy: Defined as “the ability to connect with the emotions of other people”. This does not mean showing sympathy or any sort of agreement to their behaviour, it’s just that you can understand a thing from their perspective on a more professional front. 5. Social Skills: Defined as “the ability to interact with peer group to fulfill each other needs and demands”. This skill is by default present in people with Emotional Intelligence and generally enjoy and respect other’s presence. Many of these skills may seem to be best suited for those who understand basic human psychology. While high EQ skills may come more easily to naturally empathetic people, anyone can develop them. Less empathetic people just have to practice being more selfaware and conscious of how they interact with others. By utilizing these steps, you'll be well on your way to an increase in your emotional intelligence level. Emotional intelligence principles

Strategies to improve

1. Self-awareness If you are self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you are in a leadership position also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it means behaving with humility.

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Keep a journal – Journals help you improve your selfawareness. If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self-awareness. Slow down – When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why. Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it.

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2. Self-regulation Leaders who regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others, make rushed or emotional decisions, stereotype people, or compromise their values. Self-regulation is all about staying in control. This element of emotional intelligence, according to Goleman, also covers a leader's flexibility and commitment to personal accountability.

3. Motivation Self-motivated leaders work consistently toward their goals, and they have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.

Know your values – Do you have a clear idea of where you absolutely will not compromise? Do you know what values are most important to you? Spend some time examining your "code of ethics." If you know what's most important to you, then you probably will not have to think twice when you face a moral or ethical decision – you'll make the right choice. Hold yourself accountable – If you tend to blame others when something goes wrong, stop. Make a commitment to admit to your mistakes and to face the consequences, whatever they are. You'll probably sleep better at night, and you'll quickly earn the respect of those around you. Practice being calm – The next time you are in a challenging situation, be very aware of how you act. Do you relieve your stress by shouting at someone else? Practice deep-breathing exercises to calm yourself. Also, try to write down all of the negative things you want to say, and then rip it up and throw it away. Expressing these emotions on paper (and not showing them to anyone!) is better than speaking them aloud to your team. What's more, this helps you challenge your reactions to ensure that they are fair! Re-examine why you are doing your job – It's easy to forget what you really love about your career. So, take some time to remember why you wanted this job. If you are unhappy in your role and you are struggling to remember why you wanted it, try the Five Whys technique to find the root of the problem. Starting at the root often helps you look at your situation in a new way. And make sure that your goal statements are fresh and energizing. For more on this, see our article on Goal Setting. Know where you stand – Determine how motivated you are to lead. Various freely available leadership motivation assessment can help you see clearly how motivated you are in your leadership role. If you need to increase your motivation to lead, it directs you to resources that can help. Be hopeful and find something good – Motivated leaders are usually optimistic, no matter what problems they face. Adopting this mindset might take practice, but it's well worth the effort. Every time you face a challenge, or even a failure, try to find at least one good thing about the situation. It might be something small, like a new contact, or something with long-

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term effects, like an important lesson learned. But there's almost always something positive, if you look for it. 4. Empathy

Put yourself in someone else's position – It's easy to support your own point of view. After all, it's yours! But take the time For leaders, having empathy to look at situations from other people's perspectives. See is critical to managing a our article on Perceptual Positions for a useful technique for successful team or doing this. organisation. Pay attention to body language – Perhaps when you listen to someone, you cross your arms, move your feet back and Leaders with empathy have forth, or bite your lip. This body language tells others how the ability to put themselves you really feel about a situation, and the message you are in someone else's situation. giving isn't positive! Learning to read body language can be a They help develop the people real asset in a leadership role, because you'll be better able on their team, challenge to determine how someone truly feels. others who are acting unfairly, give constructive This gives you the opportunity to respond appropriately. feedback, and listen to those Respond to feelings – You ask your assistant to work late – who need it. again. And although he agrees, you can hear the disappointment in his voice. So, respond by addressing his If you want to earn the feelings. Tell him you appreciate how willing he is to work respect and loyalty of your extra hours, and that you are just as frustrated about working team, then show them you late. If possible, figure out a way for future late nights to be care by being empathic. less of an issue (for example, give him Monday mornings off). 5. Social Skills Leaders who do well in the social skills element of emotional intelligence are great communicators. They are just as open to hearing bad news as good news, and they are expert at getting their team to support them and be excited about a new mission or project. Leaders who have good social skills are also good at managing change and resolving conflicts diplomatically. They are rarely satisfied with leaving things as they are, but they do not sit back and make everyone else do the work: they set an example with their own behaviour.

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Learn conflict resolution – Leaders must know how to resolve conflicts between their team members, customers, or vendors. Learning conflict resolution skills is vital if you want to succeed. Improve your communication skills – How well do you communicate? Training on communication skills will help you answer this question, and it will give useful feedback on what you can do to improve. Learn how to praise others – As a leader, you can inspire the loyalty of your team simply by giving praise when it's earned. Learning how to praise others is a fine art, but well worth the effort.

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Emotional intelligence strategies In a competitive workplace, developing your EQ skills is vital to your professional success. Below are 10 strategies to increase your EQ: 1. Utilize an assertive style of communication Assertive communication goes a long way toward earning respect without coming across as too aggressive or too passive. Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate their opinions and needs in a direct way while still respecting others. 1. Respond instead of reacting to conflict During instances of conflict, emotional outbursts and feelings of anger are common. The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations. They do not make impulsive decisions that can lead to even bigger problems. They understand that in times of conflict the goal is a resolution, and they make a conscious choice to focus on ensuring that their actions and words are in alignment with that. 2. Utilize active listening skills In conversations, emotionally intelligent people listen for clarity instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. They make sure they understand what is being said before responding. They also pay attention to the nonverbal details of a conversation. This prevents misunderstandings, allows the listener to respond properly and shows respect for the person they are speaking to. 

Be motivated Emotionally intelligent people are self-motivated and their attitude motivates others. They set goals and are resilient in the face of challenges.

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Practice ways to maintain a positive attitude Do not underestimate the power of your attitude. A negative attitude easily infects others if a person allows it to. Emotionally intelligent people have an awareness of the moods of those around them and guard their attitude accordingly. They know what they need to do in order to have a good day and an optimistic outlook. This could include having a great breakfast or lunch, engaging in prayer or meditation during the day or keeping positive quotes at their desk or computer.

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Practice self-awareness Emotionally intelligent people are self-aware and intuitive. They are aware of their own emotions and how they can affect those around them. They also pick up on others' emotions and body language and use that information to enhance their communication skills.

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Take critique well An important part of increasing your emotional intelligence is to be able to take critique. Instead of getting offended or defensive, high EQ people take a few

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moments to understand where the critique is coming from, how it is affecting others or their own performance and how they can constructively resolve any issues. 

Empathize with others Emotionally intelligent people know how to empathize. They understand that empathy is a trait that shows emotional strength, not weakness. Empathy helps them to relate to others on a basic human level. It opens the door for mutual respect and understanding between people with differing opinions and situations.

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Utilize leadership skills Emotionally intelligent people have excellent leadership skills. They have high standards for themselves and set an example for others to follow. They take initiative and have great decision making and problem-solving skills. This allows for a higher and more productive level of performance in life and at work.

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Be approachable and sociable Emotionally intelligent people come off as approachable. They smile and give off a positive presence. They utilize appropriate social skills based on their relationship with whomever they are around. They have great interpersonal skills and know how to communicate clearly, whether the communication is verbal or nonverbal.

Learning Activity 3 Emotional intelligence principles and strategies

Activity type

Individual verbal presentation (directed and observed by the trainer)

Activity timing

5 - 7 minutes per learner

Activity description

  

What strategies you use to work with others and their emotions in a workplace social environment (social skills) Briefly explain emotional intelligence principles and how you can improve them? Benefits of following emotional intelligence principles and strategies.

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Strategies for communicating with a diverse workforce that has varying expressions of emotion Diverse workforce Diversity comes in many different forms in business. Gender roles, race, different culture groups - and even migrant workers - are represented in diverse workplaces. Essentially, any business environment operating without a uniform, looks like a group of employees that has diversity in the workplace. This means that nearly every business in the United States which is not run by a very small number of people – is likely to have some level of diversity in the workplace. If two sisters open a small business together, they have a workplace without diversity. The same applies to two brothers or even a couple of friends. Outside of these small-business cases, every business operation must meet the standards of an equal opportunity workplace, according to anti-discrimination laws. This means that businesses must hire without discriminatory practices and must offer a safe workplace that's void of discrimination. In order to operate without discrimination, employees and managers must have communications skills and communications systems. Without a baseline for communication, discrimination will always be a dark possibility in the workplace.

Benefits of a diverse workforce The benefits of diversity in the workplace are evident for many businesses. Diversity brings fresh ideas and a multicultural view to the work environment. It can stimulate creativity while also serving the greater marketplace. If a business builds product for a diverse set of cultural groups, having a relatively small group of employees working on those products and marketing tactics is advantageous. The business can utilize first-hand experience and empathy from the market-test group to build a better product. They can then build more relevant, genuine messaging for marketing campaigns. Relating to the market audience is more effective when developers and marketers actually understand that audience group. In most instances, the business benefits via inclusion, because a melting pot of ideas and creativity is capable of bringing more vision to the production process. But in a job that requires no creativity, diversity issues do not necessarily change the outcome. Communication remains very important, regardless of the job functions in a diverse work environment. Expand your cultural understanding The first step in effectively communicating with others who are different from you is to understand their cultural norms and expectations. People from differing backgrounds tend to vary in the ways they communicate and have different expectations for formality and politeness (even in the U.S., those from the South are more likely to use—and expect the use of— “sir” and “ma’am” than those from the North). While you do not need to take a master class on the cultural norms of every person in your office, you should be aware of the basic differences. Understanding those differences can help you communicate in ways that avoid offending or confusing your audience.

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If you are from an English-speaking background, here are a few strategies to adopt when working with people who are from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds.  

 

Consider your choice of language. Some idioms or slang language may not be understood by people from another linguistic background (or people within the same linguistic group but from a different generation). The ‘rules’ relating to non-verbal communication are generally understood within a certain culture but vary from culture to culture and from generation to generation. These rules are particularly relevant in the areas of touching and the use of personal space. Take the time to understand these for the different cultures you are working with. If colleagues do not share English as their first language, make sure you give adequate time in communication and obtain feedback to clarify understanding. Avoid inappropriate or gratuitous references to a person’s culture, etc. For example, ‘The new person who will be starting work next week is a woman by the name of Mary Connolly. She’s Anglo-Indian.’

If it is not necessary to identify a person’s cultural identity, simply use the term ‘Australian’. By mentioning people’s ethnic group, race, culture or religion, we are communicating that they are ‘different’—from the ‘norm’. If it is necessary to identify a person’s cultural identity, use terms such as ‘New Zealand-born’ or ‘Arabic-speaking’. Be aware of your own influences The flip side of understanding the cultures of others is being aware of your own cultural influences. Consider how your upbringing may be affecting the way you speak and the way you interpret the communications of others. While it’s easy for us to think of our own style of communication as “normal,” we should recognize that we are just as influenced by our own race, gender, national origin, etc., as anyone else. When you are aware of your influences, you are more capable of adjusting your communication style to best suit the situation and audience. Keep it straightforward The goal of business communication is to be clear and concise. It’s not to be funny. It’s not to be philosophical. And it’s certainly not to make political or religious statements. Instead, keep your communications straightforward so you can keep a diverse group focused on the tasks and goals ahead of you. There’s nothing wrong with building personal relationships in the workplace, but when you add humour, asides, or personal opinions to your business communications, you can inadvertently confuse or upset some members of a diverse audience. Be respectful In a diverse workplace, people will celebrate different religious holidays, eat different foods, spend their free time on different activities, date and marry different types of people, and generally live differing lives. Unless any of that is directly affecting the tasks and goals of the business, there’s no need to even address it. And if it is affecting the business? Handle the matter respectfully, with the understanding that the employee’s choices may be extremely important to him or her. By communicating respectfully with a diverse workforce, you can Copyrights © 2021 Dynamics Learning Pty Ltd

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avoid unneeded conflict and address real conflict in ways that are conducive to finding mutually agreeable solutions. Be receptive Communication is, as they say, a two-way street. If you want to succeed in your communications with a diverse workforce, you need to do more than just speak. You need to listen too. Make yourself available to answer questions so that you can quickly clear up any misunderstandings. Additionally, pay attention to the concerns others may voice about the tasks they have been assigned. There are often ways for your business’ leadership to adjust tasks to better suit the individual needs of diverse employees. You have a better chance of keeping everyone working efficiently if you are receptive to their concerns and are available to help them through any confusion.

Areas of misunderstanding Whether we are from English-speaking background or from CALD background, you will find this next section relevant—as it is important for all of us to be aware of how misunderstanding can occur across cultures. Some common areas of mis-understanding are:         

polite forms of language idioms questions compliments dress social customs responding to good and bad news space time.

Polite forms of language - In English when we ask people to do something, we do not usually use the direct imperative form (an order). For example: Close the window! If we ask someone to close a window, we might say:      

Would you mind closing the window? Could you please close the window? Can we close the window? Do you mind if I close the window? Close the window please. Sorry to interrupt you, but can you please close the window?

We usually soften the language or use idioms. This makes the request more indirect. How would you ask someone to close a window in your language? Do you use a more direct form of language? Sometimes people with limited English language skills may translate a request or an expression literally from their native language. This might appear as a direct or imperative form.

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

Idioms - Slang and colloquial language is very hard to learn and may cause misunderstandings across cultures. Colloquial language is everyday language that people speak at home or with their friends. It is informal and often includes slang.

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Questions - People ask different sorts of questions in different cultures. What may seem polite in one culture may be impolite in another culture. Some Australians may think it’s impolite to discuss money, age, religion, politics, their weight etc. Sometimes new immigrants may ask questions about things that local people take for granted. This might cause discomfort and may lead to misunderstanding.

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Compliments - We give and receive compliments differently in different cultures. In some cultures, a student would deny a teacher’s compliment by looking down to show modesty. The teacher, however, expects the student to be pleased and show this by smiling and saying ‘thank you.’

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Dress - People have different expectations of what is appropriate (right) dress in various situations, based on their cultural experience.

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Social customs - Social customs (the way people behave in social situations) may seem unusual in a new country. In Australia, if someone invites you to a party and asks you to bring a plate, this means bring some food to share. If an invitation says BYO, this usually means bring your own alcohol — beer or wine. If you are at a pub (hotel) with friends and someone says, ‘It’s your shout’, this means it’s your turn to buy the drinks for everyone.

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Responding to good and bad news - Misunderstandings sometimes happen when people respond to good or bad news by using inappropriate responses or body language.

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Space - Personal space is the distance that feels comfortable between people when they meet and talk. The distance varies depending on the relationship between people, how well they know each other. It also varies from culture to culture.

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Concept of time - How people think about and use time might depend to some extent on how their culture values time. These differences may cause some misunderstanding.

In some countries (e.g. Italy and in many Arab countries), it is normal for people to be half an hour late for a meeting. In some other countries (e.g. USA or Britain), you can only be late for about five to 10 minutes. In Japan, being late may be perceived as insulting. In English, there are sayings such as, ‘He who hesitates is lost’; ‘Time is money’; ‘saving time’, ‘losing time’ etc. On the other hand, in Chines and Middle Eastern cultures, there are sayings such as, ‘Think three times before you act’. If we are aware of how people perceive time differently, we can avoid mis-understanding them.

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There are two main ways that people think about time:  

Monochronic: People who think about time in a monochronic way work out an order for doing things, deal with one thing at a time, make a sort of mental list and think that it’s important to be punctual (on time). Polychronic: People from some cultures think about time in a polychronic way. They do many things at once, change their plans often and think that people are more important than punctuality.

Remember though that while most people in a culture might be polychronic or monochronic, individuals within a culture can have a different notion about time. Monochronic Time as a fixed entity. Time is linear. Necessary to complete one task so you can move on (forwards) to the next step. Focus on planning Appointments and schedules are very important. Lateness is accepted only if it’s for a short time. Future-oriented

Polychronic Time is flexible. Time is cyclical. May begin on other tasks before completing the first. Planning is not emphasised Appointments and schedules tend to flexible. People might be late to meetings. Tends to live more in the present Views the present and past as more important than the future (not so future-oriented).

Cultural behaviours - All the things we have been talking about so far — attitudes to time, social customs, forms of politeness, etc — are cultural behaviours. Stereotyping and prejudice - Cultural behaviours may lead to stereotyping and prejudice which can lead to further breakdowns in communication. Seek assistance from interpreters or other persons as required You may be working with clients and may need to seek assistance from interpreters or other people. This section will be quite relevant to you. If you do not work with clients, this section may not be directly relevant to your work. However, it would still be useful for you to work through it. You may, in the future, be in a role that requires interaction with clients and some of them would be from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds. We will identify the circumstances and ways in which we can overcome communication difficulties across cultural and linguistic bounds. The following are some simple strategies for effective cross-cultural communication: 1. Speak slowly and clearly. 2. Use short and simple sentences. 3. Maintain normal volume. 4. Use different words to express the same idea. 5. Prioritise and sequence your instructions. 6. Avoid jargon. Copyrights © 2021 Dynamics Learning Pty Ltd

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7. Respond to expressed emotions. 8. Be aware that residents from some cultural backgrounds may avoid disagreement at the expense of being honest. 9. Allow time for questions and clarification. 10. Use communication aids when necessary. Communication aids and other strategies to assist communication between people who do not speak the same language are invaluable in any setting. Use the following strategies to ensure that clients can communicate in their own language as much as possible:    

Learn a few words in the languages of the clients with whom you are working. Use communication charts and other aids. Ask relatives and friends for help when necessary and appropriate. Use signage.

Other strategies to improve communication may require specific training and authorisation. Your manager (or their delegate) is responsible for co-ordinating communication aids such as:  requesting professional interpreters  organising bilingual doctors and care staff  using telephone interpreter services. It is important that all staff be aware of the appropriate uses and restrictions regarding communication aid strategies so that the highest standard of care is maintained at all times. Inappropriate use of certain communication aids could cause more harm than good. Communicating with assistance from a bilingual person - Being bilingual or multi-lingual does not mean that one is able to interpret. Professional interpreting is a specialised skill requiring extensive training. Interpreters are not only highly trained professionals, they also specialise in specific fields, such as law or medicine.

Learning Activity 4 Strategies for communicating with a diverse workforce that has varying expressions of emotion Activity type

Verbal questioning by the trainer

Activity timing

3-5 minutes per learner

Activity description

Your trainer will ask you the following questions: 1. About your workplace 2. How diverse the workforce is? 3. What strategies currently your workplace device to communicate with diverse workplace? 4. How you communicate with diverse workforce at your workplace 5. Any recommendation to improve the effectiveness of communication strategies with the diverse workforce

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Methods to develop emotional intelligence in others The single most important thing we can do to develop high emotional intelligence (EQ) in an employee is to model it ourselves. That can be achieved by emphasising self-development. It is a natural human tendency to think that the problem is “out there.” If I could just get them to do the right thing, this department would do just fine. Employees emulate what we do as managers. We set the tone, and they model our behaviour, the good and the bad. If our own superiors have marginal leadership skills, this does not excuse our own low EQ behaviour. We can still have an exemplary department or team by improving our own behaviour and working in our own sphere of influence. You can do the right things, even if your own boss doesn’t. Resolve to faithfully practice what you have learned so far, before you try to change others. If we are having organisational problems (poor morale, high turnover, low productivity, and poor quality are warning signs!), look inward. When you accept responsibility for the problem, you have considerable control over its resolution. When we make improvements in our own EQ by concentrating on the six facets of self-awareness, self-confidence, selfcontrol, empathy, motivation, and social competency, others will behave more competently. We cannot positively influence others until we have our own house in order. After we become good models ourselves, there are several other steps we can take to develop our employees’ EQ. 1. Set expectations To develop greater competencies in others, be sure your goals and expectations are very carefully spelled out. Always check the employees’ understanding by getting them to explain back to you what they think they are expected to do. Help your employees set expectations that are challenging but not overwhelming. Goals that are impossibly high and goals that are insultingly low do not motivate us to perform at our best. Discuss and negotiate specific goals and deadlines with your employees and be willing to compromise a little. As employees become more and more competent, some goals can be moved up or broadened in scope on an individual basis. Be especially cautious about playing favourites (letting certain employees get away with doing less work or breaking rules, or even having the choice assignments). This is a sure-fire way to create resentment. We should expect and demand an equivalent level of performance from everyone, including ourselves, and avoid even the appearance of favouritism if we want to get the most out of everyone, and engender loyalty. 2. Be accessible and supportive People will work harder for us if they know they can come to us with problems or questions. Make sure everyone knows that you are there for them anytime they need you. If we allow ourselves to become so busy with other things that we are literally never in the office and never available to our staff, we build mistrust and undermine loyalty—hardly the stuff of leadership! Your career will take care of itself if you build it on solid EQ footing, rather than playing politics.

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Being accessible is not difficult, if you understand that it involves more than time. When an employee comes to you about something, stop what you are doing and listen attentively, or schedule a mutually agreeable time to get together when you can truly listen. Some managers assume that being available and “nice” increases staff dependency. Not so: Increased dependency only occurs when employees have to come to you for every answer or approval for every step. When an employee comes to us with a problem, we need to let them tell their full story. Once they do, we can ask questions. Before we jump in with the answers, we need to ask them what else they can think of to try. Challenge them to stretch; be willing to brainstorm and problem-solve, and suggest where to go for answers or resources. A climate of openness is a positive thing for any organisation, but there will be times when you will not be able to share information about some things. If you truly cannot tell your employees something, tell them that you are not yet able to share it, but you will do so as soon as you can. Do not give the impression that you are distancing yourself from the team because that will result in rumour and even distrust. Effective leadership, like most productive efforts, is a balancing act. 3. Empower your employees Employees will indeed come to us with problems, especially if we maintain an open-door policy. But simply providing all the answers and sending them on their way will not help develop their potential to solve such problems in the future. If we want employees to begin taking on more responsibility, we must help them by not giving them answers but, instead, by asking them questions so that they can come up with the answers on their own. We should then earnestly compliment them for figuring out the answer themselves, and encourage them to go through the same steps the next time. Employees will step forward and take on responsibility if the risk of repercussion is removed. If we expect empowered behaviour, we must be willing to stand behind people when they make a decision. If they use good judgment and act reasonably based on the facts, back them up, even if the outcome is less than satisfactory. People are afraid to take risk when they believe they will be punished for failure. Instead of a reprimand, it’s far more effective to say: “It doesn’t look like that turned out well, June. Let’s see if we can figure out what went wrong and how we can prevent it next time.” Employees will learn from their mistakes when we help them, and they will virtually never make those same mistakes again! This approach will not demoralize or squelch enthusiasm for the job, either; instead it will encourage them to take responsibility and show that we respect their judgment. 4. Provide frequent and positive feedback Providing frequent and positive feedback is one of the most fundamental ways of developing others. Most people receive far too little feedback from their managers, good or bad, yet we know that everyone (managers included) works harder at the things they are

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encouraged to do. Social rewards such as compliments and ‘thank you’ are strong incentives, as strange as that seems. Most employees are not accustomed to receiving praise, so our approval can be particularly rewarding. Behaviour that is reinforced will increase, but we need to know what to reinforce. Stay in close contact with your employees so you will know when they are doing things well. If you are not sure what people are doing, ask individual workers to bring you up to date on their work. One good suggestion is to make a plan to periodically tell employees what they are doing that’s good. Compliment them in writing, face-to-face, and electronically. Recognize them in front of peers at staff meetings. Be creative, but whatever you do, make it your business to look for things the staff is doing well. This gives them an incentive to keep working even harder at those things they are complimented about, and to keep up or increase this level of performance. The more praise you give, the less reason for correction, because minor problem behaviours begin to take care of themselves. As people do more of what’s right, they will have less time to do things wrong.

Suggestions for using feedback to develop an employee The following exercise is an excellent way to integrate the information from this chapter. Put it to work by using feedback with your own department or team: 1. Pick your weakest employee and think of one thing he or she does well, and look for areas of similarity or areas where the two of you agree. 2. Write a walk-in-their-shoes paragraph where you imagine what he or she is thinking and feeling to try to gain some additional understanding of his or her perspective. 3. Go to the person and genuinely compliment him or her on one thing he or she has recently done well, and tell him or her what you appreciate about him or her. 4. At least twice a week for a month, compliment the employee on something he or she has done well. Establish a climate of trust and acceptance. 5. At the end of the month, evaluate the employee’s recent performance or attitude. The performance is very likely to have improved, just because you related a little differently to him or her. If it has, tell the employee that you are seeing improvement in his or her performance and that you appreciate their hard work. If it has not improved, continue the compliments and extend an offer to talk to him or her about any problems he or she is experiencing. Spend more time with the employee, including coaching on how to improve. If attitude and performance do not improve in three months, it’s time to transfer the employee to a department where he or she would be happier, or else terminate the employee. (See the Positive Confrontations section that follows for details.) 6. When you have managed to turn around your weakest employee, do the same with your next-lowest employee. Remember: Do not abruptly stop the compliments. In fact, continue praising all employees, not just the weak ones. Show appreciation to everyone by continuing to look for things each employee is doing right, and tell them what you are noticing.

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BSBPEF502 – Introduction to emotional intelligence

5. Help Employees Maintain Emotional Balance The workplace itself can be stressful, but workers often bring their problems to the job. A good manager must not be uncomfortable when an employee comes in extremely upset, angry, or worried. As we have learned, emotions in the office are normal and helpful in guiding our action. Good managers need to tune in to what their employees are feeling and help them regain self-control and act appropriately. Their followers will respect them for it.

Suggestions for helping an employee deal with anger Intense anger is particularly challenging in the office. If the imminent safety of you or anyone else is in jeopardy, follow the security procedures set up for such occasions. The following suggestions are appropriate for most situations: 1. Get the angry person’s attention and offer to talk one-to-one. 2. Use your best listening skills to hear the person out. Just being able to vent with somebody who cares might take care of most of the problem, leaving you with little you need to say or do. 3. Empathize with the employee’s concerns (remind yourself that empathy is not the same as agreement). 4. Use process comments (see The Fundamentals of Emotional Intelligence for details) to help uncover what’s really happening (“What’s really going on here between you two?”). 5. Make some suggestions for what he or she can do to positively deal with anger (see The Role of Self-Control in Emotional Intelligence). 6. Offer to problem solve with the person, helping him or her to think of options. 7. Encourage the employee to take time to calm down—perhaps even work on something else for a while.

6. Positive confrontations Even the best performers occasionally need correction, constructive criticism, or refocusing. Confrontation itself is a touchy issue for many managers, and we tend to put it off until the problem is really out of hand. At this point, we are likely to become angry ourselves and more likely to be overly critical. However, harsh and demoralizing criticism is not the mark of an emotionally intelligent leader. We must remember the purpose of a criticism: to help the employee grow and improve, rather than to punish someone. Emotionally intelligent leaders know that issuing criticism can be an important opportunity for growth, if it’s done with the right intentions. They enter into any such confrontation determined to make it a dialog and to help the employee grow and learn. Receiving criticism can be emotionally upsetting to many employees; be sensitive to what they are feeling and do not be critical of the person—just the offending behaviour. A good critique focuses on the problem and seeks out the employee’s side of the story. Let them share it from their perspective. Turn it into an opportunity to problem-solve as you both work on ideas for improvement. All confrontations should be delivered face-to-face

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and in private, and include our best listening and empathy skills. Discussing any problem when it first appears, before it becomes an ingrained habit, is an important key.

Suggestions for positive confrontations 1. Before the confrontation, use the walk-in-their-shoes activity and try to describe the situation from the employee’s perspective in your mind or on paper. 2. State the problem that you observed (or heard) by simply giving factual information and using “I” messages, without making an accusation or evaluation. (“Pete, that report had a lot of errors, and I was disappointed in your performance” instead of “Pete, you blew it again. How could you even think we would send that lousy work to corporate?”) 3. Ask for the other person’s explanation, reason, or side of the story (“What happened?” or “Tell me your side of things.”). Perhaps he or she has a point or you missed something. Allow for that possibility. 4. If you are still convinced that the behaviour or performance is unacceptable, patiently explain why. Reiterate your expectations and the talents and abilities he or she has to meet those standards (“You are one of the best analysts I have, and you are capable of better. I want this report to include…”). 5. Use a process comment to focus on the “how” of the work, rather than merely the contents or results. 6. If the employee becomes emotional and shows anger, hurt, or embarrassment, empathize with him or her. Do not back away from these feelings—encourage the employee to express them. 7. Problem-solve with the employee (“What can we do to be sure this doesn’t happen again?” or “What can we do to correct this situation, now that it has occurred?”). Encourage him or her to offer at least one idea, and avoid giving the answers yourself. 8. Mutually agree on what is to be done, and express your confidence in his or her ability to carry out the plan.

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BSBPEF502 – Introduction to emotional intelligence

Learning Activity 5 Methods to develop emotional intelligence in others Activity type

Individual verbal presentation (directed and observed by the trainer)

Activity timing

5 - 7 minutes per learner

Activity description

1. Explain how you provide feedback to develop an employee. 2. Explain how you help an employee deal with anger. 3. Explain how you manage positive confrontations.

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Emotional intelligence in the context of building workplace relationships Workplace relationships Workplace relationship management is when you manage the relation between all employees in your organisation, it starts from an employee’s first day and lasts until they leave the organisation. The relationship is either between the employee and the employer or between employees. These different types of work relationships are not mutually exclusive. Some people will fall into both the professional and personal categories. These are the truly important relationships that make work fun and productive. Employee relationship management is a process that organisations use to effectively manage all interactions with employees, ultimately to achieve the goals of the organization. Or in other words, it’s the process an organisation uses in order to manage every single interaction with their team. The goal of employee relationship management is to reach the organisation goals and HR plays a key part in the whole process. HR is responsible for training managers on how they can effectively create and maintain relationships with employees. Plus, the HR department measures and monitors the relationships to verify everything is on track.

Why employee relationship management is important The number one reason why employees resign from their job is because of the relationship with their manager and co-workers. When the relationship between the manager and employee is strained, there are two possible outcomes. One, the employee quits. Or two, the employee stays and the relationship is seriously strained and it affects workplace teamwork resulting with inefficient service delivery or achievement of team outcomes. The bottom line is that maintaining a strong employer and employee relationship is crucial to the organisation’s success. A positive relationship only leads to more productivity, more efficiency, less conflict and low turnover.

Types of work relationships Obviously the real-world isn’t as structured as what is depicted with these differentiations in relationships. Some people fall into multiple categories (a manager and a mentor) and some blur the lines between two or three of them. However, having an understanding of the basic types of work relationships can help you determine the purpose of the relationship and how to best leverage it for helping you succeed, not just at work, but in life. Some of the work relationships are:      

Co-workers Team members Work friends Manager/direct report Mentor/Mentee Work life friends and office spouse

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With that understanding, let’s learn about the types of work relationships: Workplace personnel Co-workers

Relationship Description type Neither Co-worker relationships professional are neither professional nor personal nor personal, but merely circumstantial. They are acquaintances through your organisation, but beyond working for the same organisation, you have very little interaction with them.

Team members

Professional

Team-members are fellow employees who work on the same team as you. This could be the team you work with on a daily basis, a committee you’ve joined or a group working together for a single activity.

Team-members are important because they are the people you actually accomplish work with. Together, you plan, design, develop, execute and track work related to your role. The better your relationship with your team, the easier it is to get this work completed.

Work friends

Personal

Work Friends are people who you interact with socially at work–you sit by them in meetings, go to lunch together, talk to them at work events and happy hours, and possibly even see them outside of work every now and then.

Work Friends fill our social need and keep us sane from the daily grind. You likely wouldn’t be friends with them if not for your mutual employment of each other at the same organisation, but they serve as our support system during the corporate hours.

Manager/direct report

Professional

Your Manager is the one assigning you the work, helping you succeed and ultimately impacting the work you do (and do not do). Your Direct Reports are the ones who report to you (you are their manager). They also determine whether or

The relationship between you and your manager is vital because they often play an important role in determining your rating, salary and workplan. They are also a large factor in your workplace satisfaction (as they say, you do not leave an organisation, you leave your

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Role Co-workers serve little role professionally or personally, but serve a valuable role in that they are often the pool of people from which other, more meaningful relationships will be established.

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not you succeed.

manager). For your Direct Reports, you serve these functions, while they serve as a way to accomplish more with your organisation without you doing all of the work.

Mentor/Mentee

Professional

Mentor/Mentee is the highest professional relationship you can have. It’s similar in intimacy to that of an Office Spouse, but it serves you professionally. Your mentor is that person you go to for career guidance and help on the toughestof-the-tough problems. Your mentee is the one coming to you for that advice.

Your Mentor helps you traverse the landscape at your job. They help you think through the most challenging problems, give you perspective on how to handle your most challenging relationships, and generally guide you to success. You serve the same purpose for your Mentee, while they keep you grounded and connected to the pulse of the organisation.

Work life friends

Personal

The most intimate work relationship you can have is one that you do not even consider specific to work–that of a friend IRL (in real life). They would be your friends even if you no longer worked at the n.

These are friends who fill the same role as your normal social friends, because that’s what they are. You have fun together, laugh together, cry together, and possibly become romantically involved together. They aren’t friends you know at work; they are friends you happen to work with.

Office spouse

Personal

Your Office Spouse is that person you spend a significant amount of time with; they are your go-to for venting and advice, and there have probably been rumours about the two of you at one time or another (even though it is platonic).

The role of the Office Spouse is to serve as your “workplace bestie” or go-to friend when you have a work predicament. They keep you from jumping off the ledge, are the person you trust with sharing your emotions and frustrations, and know you the best out of any of your workplace relationships.

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BSBPEF502 – Introduction to emotional intelligence

Why build workplace relationships Rather than dislike of the job or the salary, a bad relationship with the boss is most likely to result in employees quitting. This has been confirmed in global Gallup workplace studies that found that the calibre of the boss was the primary reason for people staying or leaving their jobs. So why are some leaders able to motivate and inspire people around them while others seem to merely go through the motions? Where skills, experience, and education levels are equal, something still separates a top leader from a run-of-the-mill manager. What is it? Could it be the ability to get the best out of others? By understanding them and building closer relationships with them? The ability to build close relationships is almost impossible without well-developed emotional intelligence (often termed ‘EQ’). EQ is a measure of a person’s ability to understand his or her own emotions and those of other people; and to use this intelligence to guide their thinking and behaviour. While working on your emotional intelligence essentially starts as an’ inward journey’, the results are always felt by those around you. It begins with developing more self-awareness and self-management and flows outwards to others in the form of greater social awareness. In simple, the knowledge you build of your own emotions helps you to understand and empathise with others better. This is the foundation for forming closer bonds and building stronger relationships.

How to build effective relationships The following ten aspects of EQ in particular will help you to improve relationships in the workplace: 1. Enhanced communication skills Part of working on your EQ usually means improving listening skills; this is the first step in developing the ability to send clear, credible, and convincing messages to other people. In turn, it will help with setting expectations, giving and receiving feedback, and communicating your intentions with greater clarity. 2. Improved interpersonal effectiveness The more attuned you are to the needs of others, the closer you become to them emotionally. Compassion and sensitivity to other people is a vital foundation for building strong relationships. As well as helping to put others at ease, it builds rapport and helps you act tactfully in ‘delicate’ situations. 3. Greater influencing skills A natural ‘spin off’ from improving communication and interpersonal effectiveness is a greater ability to influence others. Persuading and convincing others becomes easier when you understand their needs and are able to speak clearly with them. Just remember that there is a fine line between persuasion and manipulation that must not be crossed. 4. Better conflict management skills If you can effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements, your behaviour is less likely to lead to damaging and lasting relationship breakdowns. The ability to step

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BSBPEF502 – Introduction to emotional intelligence

into someone else’s shoes and empathise with their standpoint is an important aspect of emotional intelligence and helps top leaders mediate in difficult situations. 5. Being the face of change People look to their leaders in times of change. They want to feel that they are part of the change and that it will work to their benefit. Emotionally intelligent individuals do not only have the agility to anticipate and respond to changing conditions; they are able to initiate, manage, and lead change in their teams, bringing new opportunities to the table. 6. Managing stress better Emotional intelligence helps with stress management. This makes individuals less likely to make rash decisions, snap judgments, and to lash out with throwaway remarks. The ability to work calmly under pressure and to keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check helps avoid potential damage to workplace relationships. 7. Building closer bonds Recognising and understanding the role of emotions in human thinking and behaviour helps build closer relational bonds between people. Individuals begin to connect with each other on a deeper level and are more likely to go beyond the purely superficial. This cultivates a wider working environment of closer relationships. 8. Better teamwork & collaboration A leader will be judged on the performance of his team. By nurturing closer bonds between team members, they begin working closer together towards shared, collective goals and group synergy is created. This improves teamwork and collaboration, in turn improving relationships. 9. Ability to coach and mentor others Emotionally intelligent leaders are able to sense other people’s potential. They also seek open feedback. In combination, this helps to uncover team members’ developmental needs: by coaching and mentoring them towards improving these needs, stronger relationships are developed in the workplace. 10. Building greater trust & integrity Part of establishing close bonds with people is being trustworthy and ethical when working with them; emotional intelligence helps to build this trust and places importance on maintaining high standards of integrity and honesty. Emotionally intelligent people live their values and lead by example. Inspirational leadership comes in many forms but the ability to build relationships is common to virtually all of them. Guiding and motivating others and articulating a clear, compelling vision for the future requires all of the above elements and comes to most leaders by working on their emotional intelligence. Start with growing your self-awareness and expand outwards towards others.

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BSBPEF502 – Introduction to emotional intelligence

Learning Activity 6 Emotional intelligence in the context of building workplace relationships

Activity type

Written Task

Activity timing

30 minutes

Activity description

Provide answers to the following questions. 1. Briefly explain workplace relationship and importance of employee relationship management 2. Identify some workplace relationships and explain their roles. Give examples to support to your answers 3. What are the factors affecting to build effective workplace relationships?

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BSBPEF502 – Skills development and application

Skills development and application Learning outcome description The following sections of this workbook describes the required application of the skills and knowledge required to develop and use emotional intelligence to increase self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management in the workplace. The unit applies to individuals who are required to identify, analyse, synthesise and act on information from a range of sources and who deal with unpredictable problems as part of their job role. These individuals may be responsible for leading a team or work area.

Skills application The following sections includes the application of language, literacy, numeracy and employment skills that are essential to performance

Skill

Description

Learning



Identifies and uses strategies to improve own emotional intelligence

Oral communication



Uses appropriate language and nonverbal features to present information and seek feedback



Uses listening and questioning skills to elicit the views of others and to clarify or confirm understanding



Identifies personal attributes and considers the impact on others and modifies approach to support development



Adapts personal communication style to model behaviours, build trust and positive working relationships and to build understanding of emotional intelligence



Leads a collaborative approach, using inquiring and inclusive techniques, to develop understanding and skills that enhances individuals’ emotional intelligence



Leads processes to develop, implement and monitor plans and processes to ensure team engagement and effectiveness

Teamwork

Enterprise and Initiative

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Performance outcome Upon completion of the following sections, you must be able to complete the tasks described in the sections and foundation skills of this unit, including evidence of the ability to demonstrate emotional intelligence in relation to work tasks and promote development of emotion intelligence in others. In the course of the above, you must be able to:  develop assessment criteria to assess personal emotional strengths and weaknesses  conduct an analysis to identify personal emotional triggers, incorporating feedback from others  analyse and document interactions with co-workers  develop and implement plans for responding to emotional expressions  apply techniques that promote flexibility in interactions with others and show consideration for the emotions of others.

Learning Activity Identify application of foundation skills Activity type

One-on-one discussion with trainer

Activity timing

5-7 minutes per learner

Activity description

When trainer ask each learner in turn, explain the following foundation skills and how you apply the skills at your work Learning  Identifies and uses strategies to improve own emotional intelligence Oral communication  Uses appropriate language and nonverbal features to present information and seek feedback  Uses listening and questioning skills to elicit the views of others and to clarify or confirm understanding Teamwork  Identifies personal attributes and considers the impact on others and modifies approach to support development  Adapts personal communication style to model behaviours, build trust and positive working relationships and to build understanding of emotional intelligence  Leads a collaborative approach, using inquiring and inclusive techniques, to develop understanding and skills that enhances individuals’ emotional intelligence Enterprise and Initiative  Leads processes to develop, implement and monitor plans and processes to ensure team engagement and effectiveness

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BSBPEF502 – Section 1 – Prepare to develop emotional intelligence

Section 1 Prepare to develop emotional intelligence Develop evaluation criteria for assessing emotional strengths and weaknesses The purpose of the evaluation criteria is linked to the purpose of evaluation. Namely, to assess emotional strengths and weaknesses. They can be used to look at your emotions (how you reacted to situations) as well as results (what outcome achieved).   

   

Use of the criteria depends on the purpose of the evaluation. The criteria should be applied thoughtfully to support high quality, useful evaluation. They should be contextualized – understood in the context of the individual evaluation, the emotional strengths and weaknesses evaluated, and the stakeholders involved. The evaluation questions (what you are trying to find out) and what you intend to do with the answers, should inform how the criteria are specifically interpreted and analysed. The criteria should not be applied mechanistically. Instead, they should be covered according to the needs of what you want to identify and the context of the evaluation. Data availability, resource constraints, timing, and methodological considerations may also influence how (and whether) a particular criterion is covered. The purpose is to assess your emotional strengths and weaknesses

The criteria may be:  Your emotions at workplace that resulted with positive outcomes  Your emotions at workplace that resulted with negative outcomes  The emotions of others that affected you with positive outcomes  The emotions of others that affected you with negative outcomes Emotional intelligence skills for leaders include:  Good listening skills - Seemed to know the right thing to say and do in almost every interaction. Making people feel good about themselves by acknowledging their achievements in genuine manner  Conflict management skills  Skilled at motivating others For example, empathy allows leaders to understand how well workers are managing and whether they need extra support at different times to achieve work outcomes. If a leader is able to demonstrate empathy, they might retain employees who might otherwise leave the organisation or who fail to meet work objectives because their needs are not being met. For example, a leader who finds it difficult to control their emotions or who is regularly berating employees is likely to alienate workers and unlikely to inspire employees to produce their best work. Employees who are constantly faced with a leader who is losing their temper are likely to look for alternative jobs.

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BSBPEF502 – Section 1 – Prepare to develop emotional intelligence

Learning Activity 7 Develop evaluation criteria for assessing emotional strengths and weaknesses Activity type

Individual verbal presentation (directed and observed by the trainer)

Activity timing

5 - 7 minutes per learner

Activity description

1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. 2. Purpose of evaluation criteria for assessing emotional strengths and weaknesses and briefly explain the benefits of evaluation criteria. 3. Emotional intelligence skills are very important to leaders and employees. Briefly explain some emotional skills for leaders give examples to support your answer.

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BSBPEF502 – Section 1 – Prepare to develop emotional intelligence

Assess emotional strengths and weaknesses against evaluation criteria Emotional strengths are qualities that help you to manage and grow through life’s challenges. They help you to get to the other side of a difficult situation. They help you to manage a stressful day. The science of emotional strengths Research shows that emotional strengths are powerful because they:  Protect you from experiencing depression and anxiety  Lower your stress  Improve your quality of life  Strengthen and deepen your relationships  Help you feel confident about handling difficulties  Help you bounce back from trying circumstances in a way that helps you to grow from them (versus feeling defeated by them)  Improve your thinking and decision-making Facts about emotional strengths Here are some key facts about emotional strengths: You have emotional strengths — you may just not recognize them or see how important they are for your well-being. Emotional strengths are not optional for good emotional health. They are essential to it. You can grow your emotional strengths. Emotional strength is about how you can develop your strengths so that you can feel better, bounce back faster from difficulties, and can prepare for the joys (and challenges!) of work. The most powerful way that humans learn is by example. Good models lead to healthy behaviours. Children learn how to be kind, resilient, patient, optimistic, and confident from parents who model emotional strengths. The most feared interview question into your most anticipated. It’s not a matter of if they will ask what are your weaknesses, but when they will ask the question. This question allows you to highlight self-awareness. The first step is to identify your top 3 weaknesses. Doing this for both your strengths and weaknesses is important. Not taking criticism well Impatient Lazy Easily bored Procrastinate Persistent Takes things personally Strong willed Passive Does not like conflict Shy Lethargic Long-term planning

Selfish Focusing on small details Takes blame for others Being straight forward Greedy Delegating tasks Needs to be right Stubborn Multitasking Allows emotions to show Blunt Presenting Impulsive

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Takes on too much Follow-ups Aggressive Likes to take risks Critical of others Passive Works to much Perfectionist Fearful Self-critic Trouble with teams Close-minded Unorganized

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Strict Short-sighted

Bossy

Does not like pressure

Emotional strengths Agreeable Authentic Calm Charitable Civil Composed Conscientious Devoted Emotionally Stable Enthusiast Fidelity Forgiving Generous Graceful Modest

Altruistic Brave Candid Cheerful Compassionate Confident Courageous Diligent Empathetic Fair Flexibility Friendly Genuine Gratitude

Optimist Peaceful Patient Perseverance Polite Relaxed Respectful Sincerity Sympathy Trust Unassuming Witty Positivity Resilient

Self-control Strength Tolerance Truthfulness Understanding Hopeful Humour Light-hearted Merciful Open Honesty Humble Impartiality Loyal

You are emotionally weak when: You have so much in the tank when you quit. I’m serious. We most of times negotiate for rest, and that upsets me as I do it from time to time. I know that I do not need the extra sleep. I know that I do not need 8 hours. I know that I’m tough, and talented of far-fetched action in my life. Yet, occasionally I’m lazy. I see that I shouldn’t put things off, but I do. It’s ridiculous. I consider it’s essential to realize that being worn-out is your body telling you to quit. Sometimes it’s the right move, but many times you can get to a whole new level in productivity if you shrug it off as just a feeling, nothing more. 1. You simply do not do what you say you are going to do –It sounded encouraging when you said you will be in the gym at 6 mornings to train when you were at the bar till 2 Midnight. But you didn’t show up. You are emotionally weak. 2. You are afraid of confrontation when it’s necessary – Sticking up for yourself is never as easy as it looks. Asking for a raise when you believe you deserve one, I’m sure, isn’t comfortable. No one on earth appreciates difficult confrontations. So be aware, next time this takes place you should jump right in and get things decided the way you want them to. 3. You are late – When being late is what you are known for, you are emotionally soft. It’s lethargy to plan and unkind. Most of us are guilty at some point or another, but let’s do an improved effort to plan tighter. 4. You snooze mobile time and again – I know you didn’t get your 8 hours. The bed feels good, but you have work to do. Get your head up and stomp the grounds in thankfulness for a new day and another chance at life.

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5. You do not stick to the plan – Do you avoid days in the gym just because you aren’t feeling 100%? Do you make plans to get things done, but get chased by less important jobs? We just go lazy and comprehend we do not feel like working, but if you can get into the habit of sticking closely to plans you make in life, there’s no question your best work will get done. Things always sound good on paper until we get to work and understand painful effort is sometimes necessary. Hold it and see things over the exact way. 6. You do not display appreciation – Being modest and polite shows me a lot of personalities. You can certainly tell how a soul was raised by the way she/he say thanks or take things for granted. Honest gratitude for someone else’s generosity is a sign of a strong person. Start observing and appreciating small gestures of kindheartedness. Start giving them out as well. 7. You cannot handle the truth – Your entire life were you told you are the supreme? Mommy and daddy consider you are the greatest thing in the world, and for them, truly so, you are. You are their best success, no matter what. But no one else considers you this way. Now and then you just aren’t so remarkable after all. At times you do a shitty job. Next times you just pure suck. But you do not think so, so when somebody gives it to you openly, it hurts. You cannot take it. You run and hide. Have some modesty for God’s sake. You aren’t that great every now and then. Learn from your limitations, absorb the criticism, and come out a new and upgraded person. 8. Your day may be in ruins over somebody else’s belief – You are too delicate at times. Does the fact that your team-mate called you a piece of shit as you didn’t make coffee the right way. Does this make you go home and sulk about it on the couch? Did your friend leave in a pissed off mood for no actual reason today? Does your family let you down with their disapproval/negativity? It’s time to end permitting others to have such a big influence on your fate. You are the only one champion of your story. Yes, they may play a big role, but your approach doesn’t need to be brought down for them. 9. People know you as a complainer– People who complain like there’s no tomorrow when the going gets tough, but are happy and woozy during the good times piss me off like no other. If you like to complain to get into empathy from others, you are emotionally weak. It doesn’t have a place every now and then. 10. You do not know how to say no – Occasionally you need to say no, even to great or appealing things, in order to chase a higher calling. Pledging to somewhat should mean you are in for guaranteed. Do not feel bad and say yes to all. Be daring. Say no to stuff that isn’t making you and others improved. 11. You aren’t set to sacrifice your interest for your family or friends – You are all about you. People might like hanging out with you when all is good, but when a brother or friend needs you in a critical time, you are invisible. Do not let this be you!

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12. You are happy with being average – Are you okay with being a crappy student? Are you ok with your good, but not an ideal job? Are you okay with being a so-so lover? Okay with fitting into the status quo and being ordinary? I comprehend that we all aren’t natural whiz kid or extraordinarily gifted strongly, but when you can control the effort, your growth, and your wisdom, there is no excuse to be mediocre or immobile in how you take most of the things. Certain features of your being are 100 percent up to you with how good you become, so forget mediocrity, and start refining today. 13. Quitting is an option – Never quit. It’s easy to quit, I know. We meet with opportunities every day. Never will we escape the clutches of the battle to give in. Never will quit stopping to try and force its way into your skull. Train yourself with small successes. Resolve that you will complete something to the best of your capability. Shout it out loud if you have to. It doesn’t matter whether you are wornout, starving, icy, or pathetic. You have now decided you will never quit. So, do not! Take a personality test In addition to the time you have spent thinking about yourself and the opinions you have gathered from others, personality tests are another useful resource to help you identify strengths and weaknesses. Here are some of my favourites: 

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI): The MBTI test is the gold standard for corporate-level personality tests. The test measures you within a framework of four areas: energy (introvert versus extrovert), decision-making, taking in information, and approaching the outside world.



DISC Personality Testing Another highly favoured, corporate-level personality test.

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Learning Activity 8 Assess emotional strengths and weaknesses against evaluation criteria Activity type

Project work

Activity timing

60 minutes

Activity description

Think about and assess yourself Complete the following exercise It is worth attempting when you are feeling in a reasonably good mood, have some quiet time and are ready to be objective. It is not something to tackle when you have just lost or quit your job or if you are feeling bruised after an encounter with a manager, colleague, client or supplier.

1. Jot down your triggers for moods. What makes you happy? What saddens, worries and infuriates you? List them as honestly as possible and avoid the temptation to embellish because self-deception can block a person’s chance to progress. 2. List your qualities that have an effect on others. For example, your tendency to argue, or the way you like to send out detailed emails (and so on). Again, reflect on others’ occasional criticisms of you (both those of friends and colleagues). Try not to feel annoyed. Instead, consider how accurate they might be, especially when problems have erupted. Do not forget to include any praise you have earned and received. 3. Review everything you have recently written, achieved and completed and ask yourself what your SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) might be. These also need to be contemplated in the context of your life’s trajectory. So, if you have lacked self-discipline and it’s cost you in terms of career (etc), what steps can be made to improve this as an opportunity? 4. Research and write how you would like to improve in the areas you have identified as weaknesses and threats. Ask yourself why these have posed a challenge to you previously. It might simply be a matter of not liking to work a particular way, or because your training in an area has been patchy. Can these challenges be opportunities? How might they be made to work for you? 5. Get a second opinion. In order to ensure the accuracy of your self-diagnosis, it’s valuable to run your self-assessment past a trusted friend, mentor, manager, colleague or small group. Choose people who are in a position to advise you properly, not just through opinions, but because they understand the marketplace, work trends and so on. They should be interested to help you. 6. Consider emotional self-awareness vs social awareness. Having a discussion with good friends on this topic is important, both when life is going well and when it isn’t. It’s surprising what they might truly think. You consider yourself assertive and forthright — they perceive you as arrogant and insensitive. Even so-called good people have their flaws — the passionate conservationist could be a self-justifying pedant in their private life. Being emotionally self-aware is useful, but some allowance needs to be made for how you rub along with others (and they with you, of course). 7. Explain why change at all. It depends. Is how you are being and what you are doing impacting negatively, even harmfully, on yourself and others? If yes, some change is definitely called for, unless you are determined never to budge. In which case, the truth that hurts but heals will not be your medicine.

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Identify and analyse potential emotional stressors in the workplace Given that stress has been linked as a co-factor in 95% or all disease processes, a keystone of holistic, alternative health and healing is learning how to effectively manage stress. This learning process begins with recognizing or identifying four specific types of stress affecting you and how these stressors (that is, what demands a change from you) are showing up or manifesting as symptoms in your life. Stress factors broadly fall into four types or categories: physical stress, psychological stress, psychosocial stress, and psychospiritual stress. 1. Physical stress: trauma (injury, infection, surgery), intense physical labour/overexertion, environmental pollution (pesticides, herbicides, toxins, heavy metals, inadequate light, radiation, noise, electromagnetic fields), illness (viral, bacterial, or fungal agents), fatigue, inadequate oxygen supply, hypoglycaemia I(low blood sugar), hormonal and/or biochemical imbalances, dietary stress (nutritional deficiencies, food allergies and sensitivities, unhealthy eating habits), dehydration, substance abuse, dental challenges, and musculoskeletal misalignments/imbalances. 2. Psychological stress: emotional stress (resentments, fears, frustration, sadness, anger, grief/bereavement), cognitive stress (information overload, accelerated sense of time, worry, guilt, shame, jealousy, resistance, attachments, self-criticism, selfloathing, unworkable perfectionism, anxiety, panic attacks, not feeling like yourself, not feeling like things are real, and a sense of being out of control/not being in control), and perceptual stress (beliefs, roles, stories, attitudes, world view). 3. Psychosocial stress: relationship/marriage difficulties (partner, siblings, children, family, employer, co-workers, employer), lack of social support, lack of resources for adequate survival, loss of employment/investments/savings, loss of loved ones, bankruptcy, home foreclosure, and isolation. 4. Psycho-spiritual stress: A crisis of values, meaning, and purpose; joyless striving (instead of productive, satisfying, meaningful and fulfilling work; and a misalignment within one’s core spiritual beliefs. Overall, improperly or ineffectively managed stress usually takes a toll on the body. When stress-related feelings, moods, emotions are pushed into the body, the soma, this is usually termed psychosomatic or psychogenic illness, including headaches, heart palpitations, physical/cognitive/emotional pain and suffering, constricted throat and shallow, constricted breathing, clammy palms, fatigue, nausea, anxiety, allergies, asthma, autoimmune syndromes related to an ineffective functioning of the immune system, hypertension (high blood pressure), and gastrointestinal disturbances such as diarrhea, upset stomach, duodenal ulcers and oesophageal reflux syndrome.

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There are a number of types of stress, including: 1. Reactive stress – this is a physical and emotional state of distress that occurs when the demands made on a person exceed the person’s capability to cope. 2. Cumulative stress – this is a reaction to a series of continual stressors. 3. Critical incident stress – this is a reaction to demands that are sudden and unexpected. 4. Post-traumatic stress – this is a reaction to dealing with memories of a traumatic event.

Prolonged stress can result in suppressed immune function, increased susceptibility to infectious and immune-related diseases and cancer. Emotional stress can also result in hormonal imbalances (adrenal, pituitary, thyroid, etcetera) that further interfere with healthy immune functioning.    



Cognitive: Anxious thoughts, fearful anticipation, poor concentration, difficulty with memory. Emotional: Feelings of tension, irritability, restlessness, worries, inability to relax, depression. Behavioural: Avoidance of tasks; sleep problems; difficulty in completing work assignments; fidgeting; tremors; strained face; clenching fists; crying; changes in drinking, eating, or smoking behaviours. Physiological: Stiff or tense muscles, grinding teeth, sweating, tension headaches, faint feelings, choking feeling, difficulty in swallowing, stomach-ache, nausea, vomiting, loosening of bowels, constipation, frequency and urgency of urination, loss of interest in sex, tiredness, shakiness or tremors, weight loss or gain, awareness of heart beat. Social: Some people in stressful times tend to seek out others to be with. Other people withdraw under stress. Also, the quality of relationships can change when a person is under stress.

Personal stressors For example, personal stressors might include:  Marital issues and discord  Lack of sleep as a result of a newborn baby in the household  Financial strains  Maintaining a household  Moving house Work stressors Work stressors might include:  Unrealistic workloads  Insufficient number of breaks during the working day  Insufficient earning/Inadequate wage structures  Role ambiguity  Budgetary restraints  Over work/Excessive overtime

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Emotions and their Functions It can be natural to question whether emotional reactions serve useful functions in the workplace: after all, when we’re at work we have a job to do, and experiencing unpleasant or intense emotions can feel like an unnecessary distraction. Managers in particular may wonder whether it is correct to accept emotional reactions in the workplace. It is important to realize, however, that emotions can serve a valuable role and can be an important source of information to guide our behaviour. Emotions (positive and negative) can serve a useful function, even if this function is not always immediately evident. Thinking about why a worker is demonstrating a particular emotional reaction can help you understand how to best manage and support the worker. All emotions serve one (or more) of the following core functions: 1. Emotions motivate action: Emotions can motivate us to respond to situations. Our emotions may inform us about our circumstances and the environment we are in, which helps us act appropriately. For example, if we sense discomfort or fear, we may respond by addressing, avoiding, or leaving the situation. If we feel anxious about a new work task, we may respond by practicing in advance to enhance our preparedness. 2. Emotions communicate valuable information to others: Emotions can communicate important messages to those around us. They may tell others how we are feeling and what we need in a given situation. If we look sad, for example, we are communicating to others that we need support. If we are angry, we are signalling to others that they have crossed our boundaries. 3. Emotions are self-validating: Emotions can communicate to ourselves that something important is happening that may impact some important part of our life. Our emotions may let us know what we like/Do not like, or when something is missing or needed. Feeling rejected, for example, highlights that we miss the acceptance of others. If we feel lonely, it’s a sign that our need for social contact may be unmet. Identifying the function served by a particular emotion can help us know what action to take and what types of support we and/or workers may need. Here are some examples of the specific functions (useful or problematic) that different emotions may have in the workplace: Emotion

Example

Their functions

Fear

Example:

Motivate action: Fear motivates avoidance of stressors. The new worker may avoid the situations creating stress by not showing up to important team meetings or calling in sick instead.

A new worker is afraid to speak up and be assertive because he fears saying the wrong thing, and worries about his inexperience relative to other workers

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Communicate to others: Fear communicates to others that we need support. The new worker’s anxious and avoidant behaviour indicates to managers that he might need help coping with his new job situation. As a result,

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they might provide more orientation and training, as well as more confidence-building positive feedback. Self-validating: Fear self-validates that something is worrisome. The anxious feeling tells the new worker that he doesn’t feel skilled or confident enough to do his new job. He might conclude that he needs more training to overcome his anxiety, and so decide to sign up for an evening course. Anger

A worker is angry at a colleague for taking more breaks than allowed, leaving others to pick up the slack.

Motivate action: Anger motivates self-protection. The worker needs to protect herself from becoming overloaded with work. Her angry feeling prompts her to address an unfair situation so that she doesn’t end up being stressed and unhappy at work. Communicate to others: Anger communicates to others that we are feeling disrespected, it sets boundaries with others, and it alerts them when they may overstep those boundaries. The worker’s angry response communicates to her colleague that he may have done something upsetting. As a result, he might decide to approach his co-worker to identify her concerns. Self-validating: Anger self-validates that we are being disrespected or attacked, or that our boundaries are being crossed. The angry feeling alerts the worker that she feels she is being treated unfairly and disrespectfully. She might conclude that she needs to stand up for herself and try to talk things out.

Sadness

A worker is being teased excessively by his workplace colleagues. He feels sad that he is rejected at work.

Motivate action: Sadness motivates protection behaviours such as withdrawal from excessive stressors. The worker needs to protect himself from having his selfesteem damaged. His sad feelings send him a message to do something about this situation. Communicate to others: Sadness communicates to others that we need support. The worker’s non-verbal presentation of sadness concerns his manager and indicates to her that the worker might need support. As a result, the manager might inquire what’s behind the sadness and whether there’s anything that she can do to help. Self-validating: Sadness self-validates that something upsetting is happening, or that a loss may occur. The sad feeling tells the worker that he is missing acceptance from his work colleagues. He might conclude that he

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needs to change jobs, or he may ask his supervisor to address the issue with the other workers. Guilt

A manager feels guilty because a newly-hired worker has already needed to put in a large amount of overtime to replace two workers absent due to illness.

Motivate action: Guilt motivates us to make amends or apologize (for the purpose of our relief). The manager feels responsible for addressing the worker’s circumstances. Her guilt tells her to do something to improve the situation. Communicate to others: Guilt communicates to others that they matter to us. The manager’s guilty feelings and apologies indicate to the worker that the manager is aware of her obligations and cares about his situation. As a result, the worker might feel less resentment and accept reparation graciously. Self-validating: Guilt self-validates that you have violated internal standards (that you have done something you feel bad about or that you missed out on something you should have done). The guilt tells the manager that she should have intervened earlier to prevent the worker from becoming overloaded with work. She might conclude that she should apologize and hire a temporary substitute worker to ease the load.

Shame

A worker feels ashamed because he begins to stutter almost every time, he presents at team meetings.

Motivate action: Shame motivates self-protection, avoidance of actions that might be destructive of relationships. The worker needs to protect himself from further public embarrassment. He might avoid the situation by not speaking up at meetings. Or, he may be motivated to work on reducing his level of stress and anxiety during meetings to decrease the likelihood that he stutters. Communicate to others: Shame communicates to others that we need support. The worker’s demonstration of shame and or avoidant behaviour indicates to his manager that the worker might need help overcoming his public speaking problems. As a result, the manager might change certain aspects of the meeting or offer supports to the worker to improve his comfort when speaking in public.

Self-validating: Shame self-validates that our social boundaries have been violated or that our value within a group has been threatened. The feeling of shame tells the worker that he’s frustrated by not feeling as skilled as other workers at public speaking. This validates the importance of doing well in his position. Source: adapted from www.workplacestrategiesformentalhealth.com

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Learning Activity 9 Identify and analyse potential emotional stressors in the workplace Activity type

Individual verbal presentation (directed and observed by the trainer)

Activity timing

5 - 7 minutes per learner

Activity description

When trainer ask you in turn, explain: 1. Work stressors you experience at your workplace? 2. What emotional stressors impact on your work role? 3. Briefly explain workplace emotions and functions. Give answers to support your answer.

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Identify methods for responding to emotional stressors Stress can lead to your employees getting burned out, as well as harm their overall health. Because of this, your team should be able to handle situations such as deadlines and grievances with other co-workers in a healthy way. To help keep the stress levels of your employees down, try some of the following tactics: 1. Stick to schedules: Rushing and extending projects can affect your team’s time management habits and skills. 2. Encourage team members to disconnect from work and take breaks: Give everyone a chance to rejuvenate by giving them some time to focus on activities that can help them relax. 3. Discourage multitasking: The multitasking technique does not work. In fact, it can double the amount of time it takes to complete a task. Encourage employees to focus on one task at a time. 4. Resolve conflicts: Not everyone in the workplace is going to get along. However, addressing any issues before they disrupt the office is a great stress reducer. 5. Be empathetic: You should be aware of what motivates your team, as well as any challenges, that you are team may be experiencing. For example, if a team member has lost a loved one, then you should be compassionate and understand that their mind is elsewhere and ask how you can be supportive of them.

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Methods for other stresses For example: Stress

Method for responding

Marital discord:

Go for relationship counselling

Financial strains:

Use a household budget and stick to it

Maintaining a clear workplace:

Outsource cleaning to a cleaning organisation

Unrealistic workloads:

Prioritise work and delegate work to others

Insufficient number of breaks during the working day:

Make it a habit to always to take breaks

Insufficient earning/Inadequate wages structures:

Negotiate a pay rise or allowance

Role ambiguity:

Clarify role duties and responsibilities and get clear, written job description

Over work/Excessive overtime:

Manage your time for work and limit hours at work to an acceptable level

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What is an emotional trigger? Emotional triggers are events, behaviours or people that spark intense, emotional reactions or outbursts that are often overreactions. They are those things that threaten our identify, our worldview and sense of security or contravene our morals, values and beliefs. They can damage the ego, trigger negative memories or about past negative experiences or give rise to old feelings (for example if exposed to office gossip memories about cliques in high school might be triggered). They can result in stress, discontent, and high levels of interpersonal conflict that can preclude people from developing the types of relationships and career success desired. Emotional triggers For example:             

Physical and verbal aggressiveness Arrogant behaviour of workmates Being humiliated Disloyalty Lying and deceiving Gossiping Unashamed incompetence Lack of communication Having always being told what to do Being ridiculed and laughed at People not doing something they said they would People withholding information Being left out

Ways to manage emotional triggers Emotions can be managed by doing things such as:            

Accept responsibility for your reactions. Recognize that you are having an emotional reaction as soon as it begins to appear in your body. Determine what triggered the emotion. Choose how to manage your emotions. Practice mindfulness techniques. Counting to ten Thinking of something positive about the person or situation anger is directed at Using humour Thinking about the situation from another perspective or point of view Taking a realistic look at the situation rather than going over the top at a minor annoyance Focusing on the situation and not the emotion Being optimistic

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Learning Activity 10 Identify methods for responding to emotional stressors Activity type

Verbal Questioning

Activity timing

5 - 7 minutes per learner

Activity description

Provide answers to the following questions. 1. How you respond to work stress at your workplace? 2. How you respond to emotional stressors at your work role? 3. Briefly explain what is emotional triggers and identify methods to manage emotional triggers.

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Seek feedback from others to identify and confirm methods for responding to emotional stressors in the workplace Asking for feedback is one of the best ways to feel ‘in control’ of your work, get an accurate idea of what is expected of you and judge how you can improve even further. You can ask for feedback from your manager/supervisor or colleagues at any time:   



Let the other person know you would like feedback so that they have time to prepare. You can help the other person prepare by being specific about what you would like feedback on. Prepare a set of questions and let the other person see them if you have time. Ask open questions. These questions will often begin with the word ‘Why’ or ‘How’. Open questions are designed to get full and meaningful answers – they cannot be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Some good ‘open’ questions for seeking feedback are: 1. Why did my work on X hit the right mark for you? 2. How do you think I could handle Mrs Y better? 3. If I was really successful in this job, what would I be doing and how would I be doing it? 4. Why do you think I keep having this issue and how could I improve things? 5. What is your opinion on the way I handled that question from Mr Z? 6. How would you approach this if you were me?

Questions you can ask to gain feedback about your Emotional Intelligence level For example: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

How well do I support you when you are feeling stressed or upset? Do I express my emotions appropriately in the workplace? What more do you think I could do to manage conflict that arise in the workplace? Am I good at motivating workers? What other strategies could I use to motivate you? Do I express appreciation for the work that team members complete? How could I better express my appreciation? 6. Do I praise and appreciate team members enough? 7. When I make decisions, do you feel I solicit other’s opinion and take into account? 8. What more could I do to increase morale amongst team members and build a positive work environment? 9. Do you think I am easy to work with? Why? Why not? 10. How would you rate my leadership approach? Be specific when asking for feedback so that others know exactly what type of response is required. There is no point asking for feedback if the person being asked thinks they are being asked about something else that what was intended. Ask for specific examples where possible.

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It is crucial that having asked for feedback, it is accepted non-defensively and you listen to what is being said, otherwise there is no point in asking for it in the first place. It is not helpful to make excuses, argue with the person giving the feedback or attempt to justify different behaviours. Make a commitment to change where necessary and follow through. At the end of the feedback session thank the person who gave it and then spend some time reflecting on what they said. If you are a supervisor or manager Why seeks feedback? It can have a number of positive benefits for you and your team:   

It helps build a feedback culture (where feedback is part of the ‘way we do things’) It builds relationships that are based on trust It builds your own self-awareness about your supervisory skills and style.

Learning Activity 11 Seek feedback from others to identify and confirm methods for responding to emotional stressors in the workplace Activity type

Written Task and individual verbal presentation (directed and observed by the trainer)

Activity timing

Preparation written task 20 minutes and 5 - 7 minutes per learner for the verbal presentation

Activity description

Take a paper and write down: 1. How you seek feedback from others to identify your emotional stressors 2. How they impact on work role including duties and responsibilities. 3. Methods for responding to emotional stressors in the workplace When asked by the trainer: 1. Explain the above verbally sharing with other learners. 2. Seek feedback from your trainer for your methods for responding to emotional stressors in the workplace

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Section 2 Develop emotional intelligence Analyse and document emotional responses of co-workers An emotional response is the reaction of the body to a situation primarily given by an outer influence such as other individuals, groups, things or entities. But the Emotional Response is only one variant of this spectra of emotions. Emotional Responses consist out of two known procedures called “Grief “and “Stress Reaction. “In terms of psychology, an Emotional Response is not a psychiatric disorder or depression. Emotion

Symptoms

Grief

The symptoms generally occur immediately, or maybe one Grief is defined through month after and up to one a common, intense and year from the time of loss: painful reaction to loss, Numbness, Loneliness, death of a loved one, Sadness, Guilt, Shock, Anxiety, family member or Anger, Agitation, Crying, friend. Insomnia, Restlessness, Withdrawal. Stress Reaction A Stress Reaction is known as the “normal “reaction to a disaster, trauma or highly stressful life event.

The symptoms occur immediately after the event and may continue for a period of time, too: Disbelief and shock, Irritability and anger, Sadness, feeling powerless, feeling indecisive, Crying, Headaches or stomach problems, Difficulty sleeping.

Treatment People may talk about and share feelings with the person, and they must tolerate emotions. To allow enough time to pass this situation is important, and an occasional counselling will overcome this situation. Sometimes a symptomatic or brief use of medication is necessary, too. One must alleviate emotional distress, and be able to promote problem-solving techniques in order to help the person. When the individual gains comfortable feelings, it should continue to get back into „usual routine. “However, to seek counselling is helping, too.

Another form of an emotional response is a rather understandable method of reacting to an influence to the individual. For example, various colour evokes certain reactions in viewers. Nevertheless, these reactions are culturally specific. Nearly in most western countries, brides often wear a white gown as a symbol for purity and widows wear black as a symbol of their sorrow and mourning. However, brides wear black in many Asian cultures. Colours seen as influence to the individual are leading to a response of the individual, which is known as Emotional Response. The individual who is experiencing the color will be in a moment of pertained emotion. It may be excitable or sensational in a personal defined degree as an emotional nature will lead to a reaction to the input given. The following list will give general examples for the most known colours:

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              

Red – danger, stop, negative, excitement, hot Dark Blue – stable, calming, trustworthy, mature Light Blue – youthful, masculine, cool Green – growth, positive, organic, go, comforting White – pure, clean, honest Black – serious, heavy, death Gray – integrity, neutral, cool, mature Brown – wholesome, organic, unpretentious Yellow – emotional, positive, caution Gold – conservative, stable, elegant Orange – emotional, positive, organic Purple – youthful, contemporary, royal Pink – youthful, feminine, warm Pastels – youthful, soft, feminine, sensitive Metallic – elegant, lasting, wealthy

Workplace actions to different emotional responses Workplace actions lead to many different emotional responses for our employees. Coworkers can ostracise (exclude), hurt, and frustrate their colleagues. Leaders and managers can hurt employees' feelings through insensitive attitudes and decision-making, unreasonable expectations, inflexible practices and policies, and poorly managed change. Similarly, when they communicate to employees lower in the ranks, they may use edgy words to create discomfort in order to motivate employees, not realizing the emotional costs of their communication. Inevitably, personal situations also lead to emotional responses in the workplace. Personal lives are messier these days, and home and work/life are bleeding together more than ever before. Employees think about and deal with difficult personal situations at work including divorces, marital problems, family health issues, financial problems, issues with their children, and elder care. Additionally, some employees simply take things very personally. They are emotionally invested in their work, personally connected to it, and extremely sensitive. All of these issues can manifest themselves in negative emotions in the workplace. Instead of trying to eliminate emotions from the workplace, employers need to embrace them and work on better preventing, managing, and handling emotional responses and emotional employees.

10 Ways to manage emotional co-workers Leaders often think that emotional issues are unworthy of their time and attention, but the costs of not dealing with these problems can be far greater. Employees focus less on their work and more on their problems. You lose precious work time and productivity when you do not help them and nip the issue in the bud.

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The extra moments you spend paying attention to emotions in the workplace, considering the emotional costs and benefits of the decisions you make, listening to your employees, helping them resolve whatever issue they are dealing with, and dissipating or absorbing the emotions they experience can help reduce the number of emotional issues in the workplace and help get employees back to being happier and productive sooner. The following strategies will help to analyse and document emotional responses of co-workers: 1. Read emotional cues and signals Keep the emotions and feelings of your staff in mind. Emotional cues are everywhere in your business, so pay close attention to them as they are valuable data to your organisation. Cues can be overt or less obvious, such as body language, facial expressions, types of words used, and tone. These signals tell you what the employee is feeling 2. Empathize with those who are hurt It's all too common in the workplace to show indifference and impatience to employees who are in distress. Leaders may belittle or make light of the employee's issue or tell them to "deal with it" on their own. None of these are caring responses to a co-worker in need and just hurt the co-worker even more. Instead, view moments of emotion as opportunities to listen, empathize with, and show compassion to a hurting co-worker. It doesn't have to be a long conversation; sometimes a few minutes is all it takes. Plus, every effort you make to empathize with your co-worker helps build your relationship with them and develops positive rapport. 3. Understand the triggers There's always something underlying the emotional response. Dig into what is triggering a co-worker's emotional behaviour. What issue or situation is causing them to respond in this way? Refrain from pre-judging why the co-worker is responding in the way that they are. Instead, listen to the co-worker and their concerns. Allow the co-worker to feel heard and respected. This will help you help them. 4. Transform the problem Once you understand the problem, transform it into an opportunity for positive change. Emotional situations present opportunities for turning around a problem as co-workers often become emotional when they do not know how to solve problems on their own. During these moments, managers can counsel co-workers, assist them in searching for solutions, help resolve conflicts, and refer them to help that they need - like co-worker assistance programs, coaching, and conflict skills/communication training. 5. Give them space Sometimes providing space for co-workers to deal with what's going on is effective in helping co-workers move beyond the situation in a constructive way, especially when extreme emotions or distress are in play. Maybe that space is a break in the work day, a day off, or loosening workload for a short period. Time heals most issues.

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6. Keep their dignity Emotional co-workers, especially in cases of crying in the workplace, should have their dignity kept intact. Never make a co-worker feel bad about crying and discipline or punish them for it. Most co-workers are very embarrassed when they become emotional and managers should allow them to keep their self-respect. It should be noted that there are situations when co-worker’s emotions escalate to unmanageable levels, adversely affect other employees, and need a different approach - sometimes involving formal counselling, conflict resolution or mediation, and disciplinary action (in the case of excessive anger or harmful/abusive behaviour). 7. Reframe your messages Poorly chosen words and tones are often the source of negative emotions in an organisation. Think through your message and tone (of emails, in-person communication, and phone conversations) before you communicate it and consider possible emotional responses that may emerge from it. Reframe messages in a positive way. 8. Anticipate and handle responses to change Organisational change causes emotional responses. Build in ways to prevent negative emotional effects, and determine ways to address and minimize emotional issues when they occur. Also, the best way to manage change is to talk about it with the affected coworkers. Communicate honestly and directly about the change, and give co-workers the opportunity to vent and discuss their concerns with the transition. 9. Stay connected and be caring Keep emotionally connected to your co-workers, ask questions to gauge how they are feeling in meetings and become attuned and sensitive to what makes them frustrated, sad, or angry. Encourage co-workers to act compassionately and in a caring way with one another throughout the workplace. 10. Train your supervisors and managers Finally, training your supervisors and managers in positive management behaviour, communication skills, conflict management, and other leadership topics gives them the tools to help them better manage emotional issues in the workplace - and helps them lead others more effectively to reduce the probability that negative emotions will emerge in the workplace.

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Document emotional responses of co-workers What’s an emotion journal? This type of journaling isn’t your typical record of daily activities. Rather, it’s a way to identify and take action around your workplace emotions. “If you can record how you and other co-workers are feeling and what you are thinking, you are better able to track your emotions and co-workers’ emotions, notice people or places that are triggers, and recognize warning signs of strong emotions.” Journaling emotions and challenges have been shown to reduce and manage anxiety and depression in the workplace. One reason: Putting down our problems on paper often helps us see the causes and therefore solutions more clearly. An emotion journal or mood journal is similar, but since it’s focused on your emotions, it’ll bring clarity to how to improve workplace mental health. “An emotion journal allows you to record workers’ feelings over several days or weeks and then notice patterns or trends.” When you can recognize these trends, you can work to eliminate or avoid certain triggers or focus your energy on how best to respond next time.

How to keep an emotion journal While premade emotion journals are available for purchase, there’s no need for any special products or materials to get started. All you really need is a blank notebook and a pen. At bedtime, or whenever you have a few quiet moments, outline the following columns to help you reflect on a few of your biggest emotions from the day: Emotion

What caused this emotion?

Behaviours or actions this emotion caused

Is this emotion appropriate to the situation?

What adjustments are necessary

Here’s more on the questions to consider in each column when you are writing: Emotion name Underneath a web of surface-level responses usually lies one of a handful of basic emotions. In fact, many psychologists believe there are only six to eight “primary emotions.” If you struggle to pin down your feelings (and need a few more shades of nuance beyond six options), keep a list handy to help you name yours. What caused this emotion?   

When we pause for a bit of self-reflection, we can usually identify the situation fuelling an emotion. Maybe it wasn’t really the mess your kids left in the kitchen that prompted that after-dinner blow up, for example, but the stressors you experienced at work that day. Take a moment to get honest and write down the real cause of what you are feeling.

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Behaviours or actions this emotion caused me to take 

It’s human nature to act in response to emotion. Sometimes this leads to beautiful expressions of love, gratitude, or joy. But other times, it means giving in to road rage or spending an hour locked in the bathroom crying. What did it look like for you today?

Is this emotion appropriate to the situation? 



Many therapists call this step “checking the facts.” Do your emotional responses match with the circumstances that caused them? Consider the scale of your response, too. It may help to consider what you would tell a friend if they were in your situation. Is this situation a distress to be tolerated or a problem to solve? And how?

If today’s emotion wasn’t such a positive one, you have a decision to make: What are you going to do about it? For situations you can change, make an action plan. Have an honest conversation with a friend who said something hurtful, for example, or set an appointment to get a troublesome health problem checked out. Some circumstances, however, are simply outside our control. In this case, it’s wise to embrace the concept of “distress tolerance.” This is our capacity to withstand difficult emotions. Consider what healthy coping mechanisms you have at your disposal (better self-care, perhaps, or time with good friends), and take care to implement them. If you react to your triggers fairly immediately, perhaps on a scale that doesn’t align with the trigger (like a delay during your commute sending you into a rage that ruins your entire day), it can help to practice self-care in the moment. If you feel yourself experiencing a distressing emotion, consider taking a short walk, taking 10 slow breaths, or listening to your favourite song. Write down your in-the-moment game plan in your mood journal. Working on improving your mental health with a mood journal doesn’t necessarily mean that identifying your triggers or behaviour patterns will lead to immediate solutions. Seeing results may take a while. Do not be discouraged, though. Continue journaling and finetuning your action plan to find what works best for you.

Learning Activity 12 Analyse and document emotional responses of co-workers

Activity type

Written task (Report Writing)

Activity timing

45 minutes

Activity description

Assume you are a supervisor at your workplace. Your manager has asked you to document emotional responses of co-workers. Write a 1-2-page report using the following topic: “Analysis of emotional responses of co-workers.”

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Develop a plan for identifying and responding to a range of emotional expressions The workplace can be a stressful environment and involve many situations that may trigger strong negative feelings. It can be important for managers not only to be able to control their own feelings, but also help workers de-escalate emotional situations. This can help maintain workers’ morale, allow them to perform according to their potential, and contribute to a healthy work environment. For most stressful situations, it is helpful when a manager is able to respond in a calm, rational and positive manner. This can help lessen the intensity of workers’ emotions and encourage them to see the situation more objectively. In contrast, it can be very unhelpful when managers overreact or add their own emotions into the mix, further fuelling workers’ emotions. When managers react in unhelpful ways, it can send the message to workers that the managers are incapable of remaining calm and leading the team through hard times. On the other hand, managers who can help resolve an emotionally charged problem or demonstrate empathy can give workers confidence that they are overseen by strong and competent leaders. Here are some common situations in which workers may feel scared, angry or sad, as well as examples of unhelpful and helpful ways managers can respond. Workplace situation

Responses more likely to trigger emotion (wrong)

Responses less likely to trigger emotion (Correct strategy)

Worker makes a costly mistake at work.

Blame the worker and question his or her ability to do the job properly. Thoughtlessly state: “I think I have an idea who will be let go, but I cannot talk about it.”

Remind the worker that mistakes happen. Help them focus on problemsolving. Empathize with their concern. Tell them you will share as much information as you can and keep communication ongoing. If layoffs are inevitable, talk about resources available to those who may need it (e.g., community resources and/or company benefits). Reassure the worker that he has prepared well for the presentation. Make encouraging comments: “I’m not concerned at all about your ability to give presentations. I’ve seen you speak in meetings and you do a great job.” Keep a warm, relaxed expression. Ask if the worker is nervous. Remind them that a review is a positive, growth opportunity.

There have been talks about budget cuts and layoffs. Workers are asking you for information.

A worker is about to make a presentation but thinks that it will go poorly.

Urge the worker to make a good presentation no matter what, as the whole department depends on it.

A worker shows up at the manager’s office for a performance review. The worker jokes nervously, “Okay, so how bad is it this time?” It’s a worker’s second month on the job and she seems to have a hard time learning the tasks.

Ignore the joke and maintain a serious look

Point out that most workers are able to learn the tasks by this time.

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Show concern about the worker’s progress, but focus on asking what you can provide to help her succeed.

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Workers on your team are likely unable to meet a looming deadline for an important project. A worker reports to you that a fellow worker has been bullying him about his sexuality.

Express your frustration openly to them: “My reputation is on the line. I’ll be pissed if we do not meet the deadline.” Ask the worker about his sexuality. Do not take his complaint seriously. Express doubt that he is telling the truth.

Your team is delayed in finishing a project because of a worker’s negligence

Highlight to the team that it was the one worker’s fault. Show frustration by shaking your head, sighing and criticizing the worker behind his back.

Your team is expanding and there are not enough offices for everybody

Give offices to your favourite workers, without consulting the entire group of workers about space allocation.

During a team meeting that you are chairing, two workers engage in a debate that turns heated.

Join in on the argument. Say something disrespectful: “Okay, let’s not have a fit over this.”

A front desk worker has just been verbally abused by a client and seems upset.

Ask what happened and then walk away, without offering any words of comfort or care.

You and a worker are disagreeing over workrelated issues. The worker seems to be getting frustrated and annoyed.

Keep emphasizing your point and take on a hostile tone. Say something disrespectful: “Whether you like it or not, this is how I want it. Maybe you

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Point out the problem in a calm manner, without placing blame on anyone. Accept responsibility as a manager for the delay. Focus on problem-solving: “How can we work together to meet this deadline?” Maintain a calm presence and do not act surprised or shocked. Assume the worker is telling the truth. Express empathy: “I’m sorry to hear what you are going through.” Thank the worker for informing you. Indicate that you take these complaints seriously and inform the worker of your next steps and actions. Model a teamwork spirit to the workers. De-emphasize the blame from the worker and focus on finishing the project as a team. Validate feelings of frustration: “I can understand that everyone is frustrated they have to work overtime. I really appreciate you for your professionalism and for pulling through this as a team.” Make the process as transparent as possible. Let workers know the criteria upon which you are basing your choices (possibly workload, seniority or job description). Thank the workers for understanding. Let them know you are working on providing everyone the space they need. Try to de-escalate with words in a calm and light-hearted tone: “I’m glad to see that we all feel strongly about this issue.” Reclaim control over the meeting: “Unfortunately we have to move on to other topics. We might need to schedule another meeting just to talk about this issue.” Ask with a caring attitude what happened. Express concern about how the worker was treated. Show empathy for the worker: “No one should be treated that way at work. We will need to file an incident report.” Pause the conversation. Acknowledge what you see: “You seem really frustrated with this.” It can help to get the emotions out before any rational thinking continues. “Tell me what’s going on. Why are you getting upset?” Remain calm, task-focused, and respectful.

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still do not get it. Do I have to explain it again?” Assume that the worker did not handle the call competently: “Do you need help with handling phone calls?”

A worker just ended a call with a customer and seems very frustrated.

It’s late Friday afternoon and you have just given a worker a large and important task that is due at the end of the day.

Tell the worker matter-offactly about the lastminute task. It is her job, after all.

A worker seems ashamed as he is receiving negative feedback from you about his work.

Ignore what you see, thinking, “That’s not my problem.” Continue with the negative feedback.

A well-liked staff member is quitting, and the workers seem sad to see her go.

Do not acknowledge her upcoming departure.

There has been a massive layoff today in the company and some of the workers, although spared, are quiet and sombre.

Focus on the negatives: “It’s so quiet in here now that some of you are gone. It’s going to be a ghost town here.”

Give the worker the benefit of the doubt. Ask about what happened. Empathize with the worker. Sometimes it helps the worker calm down when you paraphrase what they said using simpler, calmer words: “So the client got upset and called you stupid because he thought that you had lost his file? Recognize the worker’s need to leave work on time. Acknowledge the late notice of the task and thank the worker for her understanding. Make a plan for what is reasonable and feasible to complete Speak in a respectful, light-hearted tone. Acknowledge what you see. Empathize with the worker’s feelings: “It’s hard to hear this kind of feedback. But, we know that it helps us be better in the long run. How can I help you make improvements?” Acknowledge the situation and the workers’ feelings: “We are all sad to see her go.” Focus on the positives: “She is off to a very exciting new job. We will all wish her the best.” Empathize with the workers’ feelings. Maintain a neutral attitude. Focus on the positives: “The company always tries to find laid-off staff other positions within the company.” (if applicable).

Source: Centre for Mental Health in the workplace

Learning Activity 13 Develop a plan for identifying and responding to a range of emotional expressions

Activity type

Project

Activity timing

30 minutes

Activity description



Form groups of 3 to 5 learners per group Develop a plan for: 1. Identifying a range of emotional expressions at workplace 2. Responding to above range of emotional expressions

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Apply techniques that indicate flexibility and adaptability in dealing with others in the workplace Flexibility is the capacity to adjust to short-term change quickly and calmly, so that you can deal with unexpected problems or tasks effectively. Here are a few examples of how you might demonstrate it:     

Offer to help out another team member if you notice that he or she is overloaded. Volunteer to cover a colleague's work while he is on leave. Consider allowing people to work from home to help them achieve a better work/life balance. When you come across a problem, offer up a variety of solutions that might fix it. Why Be Flexible?

Most of us have experienced change in the workplace at some point. We cannot always predict when changes like these are going to happen. That's why flexibility is so important. When you are flexible, you are versatile, resilient and responsive to change. You can adapt to unexpected demands in the workplace – sudden surges in work, urgent problems, or an unpredictable event, such as a cyber security breach or financial crash, for instance. Flexible people are highly prized by managers and businesses. They help to stabilize situations when crisis strikes. They keep objectives achievable and within reach, and they often "go the extra mile " to support colleagues who are in need of advice or help.

How to be flexible Flexibility involves having an open, team-cantered attitude, and retaining a strong sense of identity and purpose. Here are seven ways that you can achieve this: 1. Focus on your core values Having key attributes that do not shift can keep you grounded during periods of change. Using your core values and your organisation's culture as anchor points will help you to decide what you can and cannot agree to when you receive an unexpected request. Taking on responsibility for a project that will get your team nearer to meeting its annual target is one thing; but, if this involves doing something that is legally or ethically dubious, you should steer clear. 2. Be open-minded You'll likely find it easier to understand and manage a situation if you look at it from different perspectives. For example, if you are looking to launch a new product, you might first like to analyse it from different viewpoints. How will it fit into the marketplace, for instance? What will the impact be on your production process, and your sales and marketing teams? How do you think your customers will react to it?

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Make it a priority to listen to and understand the views of the other people involved. If your manager asks you to help out on an urgent project, for example, consider how it will benefit the team or your career, rather than simply thinking, "Oh no, not more work!" 3. Develop your skill set If you do not make an effort to learn new skills, you'll likely find that when an unexpected event does occur, you will not be equipped to deal with it. Tackle this by staying curious about what's going on around you. Keep up-to-date with new industry trends by reading up on the latest innovations and research, and broaden your knowledge by cross-skilling. 4. Be optimistic It can be difficult to stay positive when you know a large, urgent project is on the horizon. But, looking on the bright side and focusing on the positives will help you to stay resilient and focused. A break or change in your routine could be an opportunity to learn new skills, or to work with different colleagues, new clients or new suppliers. 5. Stay calm When expectations shift suddenly, it can be disconcerting and you might find that you start to feel anxious. Counter the effects of stress (such as loss of focus and impaired decision making) by taking steps to restore calm. You can explore tips and techniques for doing this in our article, Managing Stress. 6. Plan ahead Even if you cannot predict the future, you can still plan for the unexpected. Anticipating the next new development, measuring risks and preparing for them are key skills. For example, if you are pitching a product or service to a potential client, it's a good idea to think about the questions that she might ask, and to prepare your answers ahead of time. 7. Have a strong support network Having a strong and stable team around you is essential in times of flux. It means that, no matter the difficulties you are facing, you have people who you can rely on to support you. Strengthen the relationships that you have with your co-workers by building trust. You could start by, for example, offering to take on additional tasks when a colleague is busy, or by helping him with a system or process that he is finding difficult to use. Not only will this boost collaboration and positivity across your team, but it will likely encourage your colleagues to return the favour when you are the one in need of help.

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Develop your adaptability skills Being able to adapt to changing environments and work processes can be desirable traits to employers. Having adaptability skills means you are open and willing to learn new things, take on new challenges and make adjustments to suit transitions in the workplace. Additionally, developing your adaptability can also mean developing other soft skills like communication and interpersonal skills. A flexible workplace is achieved when team members are given the freedom to do their job in the way they think is most effective, without unnecessary strictures on how to achieve their work responsibilities. The same approach should be adopted when dealing with the emotions of others in the workplace. By allowing your team members to express themselves freely and without judgment or arrogance, you foster a sense of belonging. By listening to your team members’ concerns, you learn and understand what must be done to keep team morale high. Demonstrating flexibility and adaptability when responding to the emotional states of your team members promotes a workplace environment of trust, habitual innovation and risktaking. When team members know that you are watching them and care about what they do, they will feel free to express themselves professionally and emotionally in the workplace.

How to improve adaptability in dealing with others Being adaptable and open to change may not always be easy, however, you might consider the following steps to help you develop and improve your adaptability skills: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Be aware of changes in your environment Develop a growth mindset Set goals for yourself Ask for feedback Learn to acknowledge and accept change

1. Be aware of changes in your environment One key method that can help you develop your adaptability is to stay conscious of changes in your work environment. For instance, you might observe the finance team's new budget to stay updated on current allowances if your team's responsibilities involve the use of company funds. You might also remain aware of policies, procedures and other operational processes to stay abreast of changes to various company practices. 2. Develop a growth mindset Being adaptable also means being willing to learn and try new things. Developing a growth mindset can positively influence your ability to take on new challenges, find new opportunities to develop your knowledge and contribute to new projects. Your willingness and motivation to keep improving upon your skills can also show your employer your commitment to your professional growth.

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3. Set goals for yourself and others Another method that can help you develop your adaptability dealing with others might be to set goals for yourself. For instance, if you feel you might be weaker in your nonverbal communication or you tend to procrastinate when expected to complete challenging tasks, you might set a goal to work on each aspect of your interaction so you can improve your overall ability to adapt to changes in the workplace. Adaptability: Set goals for your employees. Here are some examples:          

Look for new ways of handling multiple tasks and tolerating time pressure Remain composed even when faced with ambiguity or any form of emergency Learn new tricks and techniques that help build up confidence when dealing with different people Think creatively and outside job descriptions in order to explore different avenues as a way of embracing change Put extra effort in tasks that need to be prioritized and innovate methods to take on new tasks Become more flexible and work with other employees and team members who may have problems meeting deadlines Consistently maintain composure even when stressed and learn to embrace mishaps with renewed energy Show willingness to learn new skills that increase efficiency by frequently attending self-improvement seminars and training Work on accepting all types of change positively and handling changing workloads in response to changing circumstances Show willingness to work extra hours in order to cover a colleague's responsibilities whenever there is need

4. Ask for feedback As you develop throughout your career, you might think about requesting feedback or constructive criticism from your managers to help you improve on your weaker skills. Positive and constructive feedback can be beneficial for setting goals and achieving success in your career. 5. Learn to acknowledge and accept change It can also be highly beneficial to let yourself accept change as it occurs. Learning to acknowledge changes in your career can help you prepare yourself and adapt to differing circumstances. Additionally, learning how to be willing to accept change can be an effective step toward recognizing when you need to make adjustments to make transitions smoother for yourself.

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Learning Activity 14 Apply techniques that indicate flexibility and adaptability in dealing with others in the workplace

Activity type

Group discussion

Activity timing

30 minutes / 3-5 minutes per group to present

Activity description

1. Form groups of 3 to 5 learners per group. 2. Appoint a group leader to manage the discussion. 3. Discuss about techniques that indicate flexibility and adaptability in dealing with others in the workplace. 4. Note down the techniques. 5. Present it to your trainer.

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Apply techniques that show consideration for the emotions of others when making decisions When you are faced with a big decision, do you go with your gut feeling, or do you make a careful list of pros and cons? Following your intuition can be a great way to tune in to your true desires. But even when you think your decisions are based on logic, and common sense, they are often steered by emotion. By understanding how emotions play into our decision-making process, we can learn to find the perfect balance between reason, and intuition, to make choices that serve us in living our best life. How are decisions effected by emotion? Emotions are created when the brain interprets what’s going on around us through our memories, thoughts, and beliefs. This triggers how we feel, and behave. All our decisions are influenced by this process in some way. For example, if you are feeling happy, you might decide to walk home via a sunny park. But if you would been chased by a dog as a child, that same sunny park might trigger feelings of fear, and you would take the bus instead. There may be logical arguments to be made either way, but in the moment, the decision is driven by your emotional state. Different emotions effect decisions in different ways. If you are feeling sad, you might be more willing to settle for things that aren’t in your favour, such as not putting yourself forward for promotion, or remaining in an unhealthy relationship. But sadness can also make you more generous as research shows that unhappy people are more likely to be in favour of increasing benefits to welfare recipients than angry people, who are lacking in empathy. Emotions can affect not just the nature of the decision, but the speed at which you make it. Anger can lead to impatience, and rash decision-making. If you are excited, you might make quick decisions without considering the implications, as you surf the wave of confidence, and optimism about the future. While if you feel afraid, your decisions may be clouded by uncertainty, and caution, and it might take you longer to choose. What this means is that your gut feeling plays a huge part in our decision-making process, but at times may be steering you wrong — it might lead to poor judgment, unconscious bias and recklessness, or risk-aversion. But are there ever occasions when we should pay attention to our gut instinct? How can emotional intelligence help us make better decisions? Both emotion, and logic have a role to play in helping us make positive decisions. If we understand where our emotions come from, and start to notice how they affect our thinking and behaviour, we can practice managing our response, and learn to make better choices.

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Steps to developing EI of your employees As Dr. Martyn Newman says, the skills we need to meet business needs today – fresh thinking, high engagement, and ability to adapt quickly to internal and external changes – are "rooted in our emotional and social behaviours." So, growing a culture of emotional intelligence in organisations would allow recruiters to increase employees' engagement and motivation. The process is far from quick and easy, and it consists of four steps: 1. Preparation: assess the organisation's needs and personal needs of employees to motivate them, encourage participation, and maximize their choice. 2. Training: help to foster a positive relationship between employees and their trainer on emotional intelligence, allow setting clear goals, enhance insights, and provide support. 3. Transfer: provide an organisational culture to support learning and encourage employees to use new skills at work. 4. Evaluation: check the results and evaluate the efficiency of emotional competence training programs, which is an integral part of the whole process. To recognize the weak spots of yours and others, there are four main categories of EI tests.  MSCEIT, or an ability-based test. It asks respondents to solve emotional problems and assesses EI similar to how IQ tests measure cognition.  EQ-I, or a trait-based test. It assesses EI similar to how personal traits tests define extraversion/introversion.  ESCI, or a competency-based test. It measures a respondent’s expected EI, which may differ according to a role. For instance, a CEO will be expected to rate higher (be more competent) than a manager.  Genos, or a behaviour-based test. It measures how often a respondent demonstrates EI actions, assuming that it’s a skill one can learn/change.

Learning Activity 15 Apply techniques that show consideration for the emotions of others when making decisions

Activity type

Group discussion

Activity timing

30 minutes / 3-5 minutes per group to present

Activity description

1. Form groups of 3 to 5 learners per group. 2. Appoint a group leader to manage the discussion. 3. Discuss about techniques that show consideration for the emotions of others when making decisions. 4. Note down the techniques. 5. Present it to your trainer.

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Consult with relevant stakeholders and identify improvement areas for own emotional intelligence Emotional Intelligence is the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action. Though you can assess your own emotions, you cannot totally understand your own emotional states and identify the areas of what improvements are required to manage feelings and emotions. For this reason, you need to consult others with whom you interact a day-to-day basis. You may choose to consult any of the following stakeholders:     

Your manager with whom you interact often Your co-workers with whom you interact Your customers (internal and external) with whom you interact Your suppliers with whom you interact Other people from different organisations such as accounting firms, regulatory bodies and contractors.

A genuine consultation process ensures that you have considered the real-world impact of your emotions in the workplace. This is likely to lead to better outcomes and greater acceptance in the stakeholders who may be affected by the organisation’s emotion management. In the consultation for emotional intelligence, you must:     

Explain the purpose and objectives of consultation Outline a plan for conducting consultation Explain who should be consulted—and who does not need to be consulted Outline a strategy for the most efficient and meaningful consultation to achieve improvement areas for own emotional intelligence Summarise the major emotional intelligence areas to be covered and what issues might be raised.

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Learning Activity 16 Consult with relevant stakeholders and identify improvement areas for own emotional intelligence

Activity type

Written Task

Activity timing

30 minutes

Activity description

Provide answers to the following questions. 1. Identify improvement areas for own emotional intelligence 2. Identify stakeholders at your workplace to consult for improvement of your emotional intelligence 3. Develop a stakeholder consultation plan to consult them.

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BSBPEF502 – Section 3– Promote development of emotional intelligence in others

Section 3 Promote development of emotional intelligence in others Identify workplace opportunities for others to express their thoughts and feelings Many organisations are crippled by people dedicating more time to protecting themselves from real and imagined threats, than to working. When fear rules, productive hours are lost in attempts to keep the upper hand, dodge the boss’ wrath, or compete for position. The undeniable fact that some people have more power than others in any organisation does not have to overwhelm you with fear, as long as you remember that we all share the same emotions.   

Does your manager act tough because they’re afraid being compassionate means being weak? Are your employees sullen because they feel just as demoralized as you would if no one showed appreciation for their work? Does the person in the next office snap at you because they’re just as worried about rumoured layoffs as you are?

When you remember that we are all peers on an emotional level, it becomes easier to approach the boss, to ask an employee to give a little more, or to understand that a coworker’s irritability is nothing personal. Emotions are great levellers among people; use them to tie you together rather than rend you apart. Develop workplace opportunities for others to express Make it worthwhile for your staff to rely on and assist each other. Offer bonuses or other incentives for group rather than individual achievements. For example, you could hold lunches and periodic morning bagel fests on you, sometimes without you. So, your group can feel free to establish the common ground of griping about the boss. Set up a mentor program matching new employees with those with the greatest seniority. Use your incisive emotional powers to offset one person’s weaknesses with another’s strengths, and soon they will all be pulling one another up to new heights. Provide opportunities to express 1. Invite feelings, not just thoughts. Make it safe for people to tell you how they feel, and they will work harder and better. People tell the truth to those who withhold judgements, keep confidences, and maintain their composure. Make sure that describes your work persona. 2. Establish emotional boundaries. Intimacy with a boss, employee, or co-worker can flood the workplace with emotional memories that cause thoughtful, reasonable

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3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

professionals to lose their objectivity and provoke resentment in onlooking coworkers. Make no decision based on data alone. Before you turn in that figure-filled report or cite an authority to back up your recommendations, use your intuition. Stop and ask yourself how you feel about the position you are taking– it’s a habit that will help you feel more confident and ensure you are acting with integrity. Be flexible. Be ready to modify long-term goals based on active awareness of how short-term objectives are going. Stubbornly charging towards goals that no longer serve the organisation will get you left behind with yesterday’s news. Be generous. When a point of conflict means more to the other person than you (information you receive through awareness and empathy), surrender graciously; you’ll earn your co-worker’s gratitude and support. Begin any negative comment with a positive one. You are much more likely to get an empathetic ear if you preface criticism with appreciation, and complaints with your intention to cooperate. Speak out when you feel something is important. If a problem or a conflict is bothering you at a gut level, waiting too long to speak up will invite emotional flooding. When you take action, you change how you feel about the problem, which has a powerful impact on your well-being—even if you do not get the response or change you are seeking. Listen with empathy. Using your emotions will never distract you from the task at hand. Empathy gives you instant understanding of what someone is saying, so do not try to save time by planning what you are going to say while another person is speaking—that’s not heartfelt listening, and others know it. Take the risk of appearing imperfect. High performers ask for help when they need it and admit to being wrong when they make a mistake. Then they move on, effective and efficient.

Learning Activity 17 Identify workplace opportunities for others to express their thoughts and feelings

Activity type

Verbal Questioning

Activity timing

3-5 minutes per learner

Activity description

Provide answers to the following questions. 1. Explain workplace opportunities for others to express their thoughts and feelings. 2. Identify at least five workplace opportunities and briefly describe the opportunities.

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Develop tasks for assisting others to understand effect of personal behaviour and emotions on others in the workplace There are a number of primary emotions we all experience, regardless of background or culture. Three common primary emotions are anger, sadness and fear. All emotions positive or negative are associated with certain characteristic ways we think of ourselves, ways we perceive others and the world, and with certain behaviours (actions) and physical reactions. Understanding the link between emotions, thoughts and behaviours can be a useful tool for managers dealing with negative emotions in the workplace. It helps in stressful situations to have the clearest possible perception of a worker’s emotional state, but sometimes this is difficult to ascertain. Sometimes they are too upset to tell you, for example, and sometimes they may not feel comfortable sharing the information. It can work to your advantage to be able to use as many cues as possible to understand the situation. A worker’s thoughts (as expressed through their comments, etc.) and behaviours may provide insight into their emotional reactions. Listen without interrupting Negative emotions in the workplace can arise because workers feel that their opinions and ideas are not being heard and appreciated. In contrast, workers who believe that managers value what they say can be much more likely to maintain positive emotions (and exemplary productivity). Important to success in this area is effective listening, which begins with listening without interrupting. Often, if we wait long enough during an exchange, we will receive the answers to our questions. But all too often, particularly when facing workplace demands, we tend to want to rush to obtain answers, and we spend more time talking than listening. Simply pausing and listening to others can be extremely helpful in terms of gathering information and building a connection with workers. Actively practice pausing and listening without interruption to what others have to say. Resist the urge to ask a question or share an idea. Be comfortable with pauses. Avoid invalidating another person’s efforts to communicate by assuming you know what they’re going to say before they have finished their sentence. If you catch yourself interrupting, Do not let that derail your task. Just apologize for the interruption and resume listening intently. Recognize and replicate support It can be helpful for managers who must address negative emotions in the workplace to begin with an understanding of their own negative emotions and reactions. An integral part of this understanding is an awareness of the types of support to which you respond best in stressful situations. Knowing this not only helps you encourage people to relate to you in ways that you prefer, but also helps you replicate the most useful types of support when dealing with others.

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Think about two different times you were struggling with a difficult workplace situation, one where you found other managers or workers supportive, and another where you found them unsupportive. Supportive Workplace Response    

What was said to you by others? (be specific) How did you feel? (list as many emotional and physical reactions as you can recall) How did the response help you deal with the stressors you were experiencing? When might this same response have been less helpful for you?

Unsupportive Workplace Response    

What was said to you by others? (be specific) How did you feel? (list as many emotional and physical reactions as you can recall) How did the response add to the stressors you were experiencing? When might this same response have been more helpful for you?

Consider how you choose your response in any given situation. Also think about whether you tend to use these types of supportive responses and avoid the unsupportive responses when managing workers in stressful situations. To what extent can you replicate with others the approaches that you find effective for your own stressful times, while acknowledging workers’ unique individual needs? Acknowledge differences When managing negative emotions in the workplace, a range of considerations are important. One critical aspect relates to the diverse characteristics of the workers involved. Awareness of emotions, and comfort and openness in speaking about emotions, varies by sex, age, personality, cultural background, and ethnicity. The most effective managers attempt to understand their workers’ individual characteristics related to emotions and emotional reactions. These managers then use this information to create personalized strategies for addressing the negative emotions of different workers. Think of a situation in which you dealt creatively with a distressed employee who demonstrated a particular characteristic or style. Describe the situation and characteristic/style    

How did you approach the situation differently than you might have with another worker who did not share that characteristic/style? What cues prompted you to approach the situation differently than you might have otherwise? Are you glad you approached the situation the way you did? Why or why not? What would you have done differently, if anything? Reflect on the range of differences among your workers, and how you might take different approaches with each of them when dealing with negative emotional reactions.

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Ask open-ended questions Especially when workers are under stress, asking open-ended rather than closed questions may help to elicit useful information. Closed questions tend to force a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response. “Do you have enough time to get this project done?” is a closed question. Open-ended questions, in contrast, solicit fuller and more detailed responses. “How are you feeling about the timelines for this project?” is an open-ended question. It is more likely to elicit an accurate and thoughtful response from a worker. The nature of open-ended questions, due to their inherent solicitation of a more detailed response, also tends to create more positive feelings in workers, because they are more likely to feel that their input is valued. Go through your day asking open-ended questions. Be aware of the differences in responses you receive compared to the closed questions you have asked previously. How is the information you obtain different? Can you sense any difference in the tone of your interactions with workers? Awareness of other people’s emotions Accurately understanding the emotion states workers are experiencing can be a tricky thing for a manager to accomplish. When people appear distressed, we tend to jump to nonspecific, general labels (e.g., “he is upset”) without really understanding the nuances of their emotional experience. But it is exactly these nuances that can provide vital information about how to handle a situation. Understanding another person’s emotions involves much more than just listening to their spoken words. It requires being attentive to the non-verbal emotional messages being communicated. Think of a situation where you had to speak to someone who was distressed. Describe the situation:  

 

What verbal messages (words) did the person convey? What non-verbal messages was the person projecting? Think of the following: o Posture: ____________________________________________________ o Tone: ______________________________________________________ o Eye contact: ________________________________________________ o Energy level: ________________________________________________ o Other: _____________________________________________________ Was there a discrepancy between the verbal messages and the non-verbal messages? When you consider all information, what emotion state do you think the person was experiencing?

Throughout the course of your day, make an active effort to pay attention to other people’s verbal and non-verbal messages. Take note of any discrepancies between the two. Think about what emotion(s) people are most likely experiencing when you consider both their verbal and non-verbal messages. If you notice major discrepancies between a worker’s verbal and non-verbal emotional messages, it may be a great opportunity to sit down with them and connect by asking them for feedback about anything you could do to improve their ability to do their job. Copyrights © 2021 Dynamics Learning Pty Ltd

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Build empathy through mirroring Managers can better deal with negative emotions in the workplace when they make efforts to truly understand what leads to individual workers’ emotional reactions. Empathizing with workers – being able to put yourself in their emotional ‘shoes’ – can be an important step toward understanding. A primary component of empathy is the ability to mirror others nonverbally. We can teach ourselves to become more empathetic by mirroring the body positions, posture, tone, volume, gestures, and facial expressions of others. To understand how mirroring encourages empathy, imagine yourself in your most empathetic moments. Perhaps someone has suffered a loss in the family or some other trauma. It feels natural to stoop a little and use softer gestures and facial expressions when discussing the matter with them. Their demeanour prompts us to mirror them, and as we do, we learn more about how they feel. Forcing yourself to mirror another individual has largely the same effect. Next time you encounter a worker who seems distressed, find a private spot immediately afterward and mirror them as accurately as you can from memory. How do you feel? How do you think they were feeling? Are your judgments confirmed at some later point? Elicit feedback Workers may not be comfortable providing feedback unless requested for it. Even then, many may hesitate, suspecting that the call for feedback may not be wholly genuine, and that they may anger managers by speaking out. One approach to avoiding negative emotions in the workplace is to ensure that workers feel that their feedback is valued and appreciated. Offering and accepting feedback can help create strong relationships between managers and workers. This makes it important for managers to actively elicit feedback whenever opportunities present themselves. By doing so, you may not only receive more helpful feedback, but also create the understanding that the request for feedback is genuine. You may also obtain information useful in understanding the impact of the situations and conversations in which you are involved. Actively elicit feedback throughout the day. Try asking a worker after a conversation:   

“How did this conversation feel for you?” “Do you feel like I am understanding you properly?” “Is there anything I am missing or didn’t ask about that would be important for me to know?”

Notice how asking these questions impacts not only the workers, but also how you feel about conversations and other interactions. Elicit opinions When trying to manage distressed workers, and negative workplace emotions in general, it can be challenging to know exactly what to say, suggest, or do to “fix” a situation. An important thing to keep in mind is that most of us are experts when it comes to our own lives. It sounds obvious, but each of us has lived our whole life with our self, we have seen ourselves through good times and bad times, and we often have a good sense of what

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makes us feel better and what makes us feel worse. When someone is distressed, it can be useful for a manager to ask them “What could I do that would be helpful to you?” Make a point of touching base with each person who works under your supervision. Ask them if there is anything you could do that could be helpful to them or improve the way they are able to do their job. Be aware of the number of times you receive a suggestion that may be small and simple, but that you may not have thought of on your own. Doing this exercise routinely with each worker can help prepare you to act when one of them may be emotionally distressed. Rather than trying to gather all this information during a stressful time, you will have built a base of knowledge in advance, and it should be much easier to understand and communicate with a worker in an emotionally charged situation. Evaluate judgments The way we feel about or react to individuals in the workplace is impacted by our explanations of their behaviour. When it comes to ourselves, we are much more likely to find external explanations for negative behaviour and internal explanations for positive behaviour. Consider the following examples:  

If I trip while walking across the office, I say “the carpet was wrinkled”. If I win an award, I assume it’s because I worked hard. If I raise my voice in a meeting, I believe it’s because I have had to tolerate too much ineptitude to remain calm.

But, when explaining others’ behaviour, we tend to do the opposite.….  

If I see someone else trip on the office floor, I say “they are clumsy”. If someone else wins an award, I assume it’s because they were lucky. If someone else raises their voice in a meeting, I believe it’s because they cannot handle pressure.

Spend the day being aware of your automatic assumptions related to other people’s behaviour. Stop and evaluate your judgments, working toward finding external causes for any negative behaviour they may exhibit. Listen to understand We engage in listening to understand when we sincerely try to understand not just what people say, but also what they really mean. When workers are distressed or dealing with mental health issues, it is not unusual for them to say things that do not really reflect what they truly mean. Giving someone the safety and the space to articulate and then clarify or correct what they say can give you a much better chance of understanding their perspective. Asking open-ended questions to solicit additional information and refraining from interrupting can improve the interaction further. Sometimes the content of what we hear in a workplace interaction will elicit an emotional response in us. As we listen to others, we may be distracted by our own internal chatter that can include judgments, opinions, and reactions to what is being said. When we listen to

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understand, we focus on the individual and their agenda, not our own. We listen for underlying issues and needs to better prepare ourselves to begin a discussion about solutions. Practice listening to understand in every opportunity that presents itself this week. Do you find that you obtain more useful information and ideas this way? Do you learn anything that you missed in a previous conversation in which you didn’t fully use your listening skills? How do you feel about the quality of your interactions with workers? Do you sense anything about their opinions of your exchange?

Learning Activity 18 Develop tasks for assisting others to understand effect of personal behaviour and emotions on others in the workplace

Activity type

Written Task

Activity timing

20 minutes

Activity description

1. Briefly explain the actions that support to identify effect of personal behaviour and emotions on others in the workplace 2. List down advantages of Understanding the link between emotions, thoughts and behaviours

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Implement identified opportunities and tasks in the workplace according to organisational policy and procedures If your job involves managing other people, they will view you as their fearless leader. That means that even if they’ve been raising their EQs too, they will look to you to initiate action, elicit communication, and set the style and pace of daily operations. Here’s how you can meet their expectations to get them to meet yours: 1. Anticipate people problems Use your empathy to know your employees and how they interrelate. With it, you understand what motivates individuals, what relationships have formed, and even the separate “personality” of the organisation or department. Will your department’s rising stats begin to fall now that a mentor has retired? Will a reorganisation remove critical support systems? Will turning a project over to a consultant be a relief or an affront to your staff? The more you know about how your employees feel, the less often your own actions will inadvertently create havoc or resentments. 2. Be the first to speak Even if you have created a safe and open atmosphere for communication, some people will always be intimidated by the boss and will not bring up a problem before it’s imposed a hefty toll. That’s why it’s so important to be quick to talk honestly with your staff about potential problems or changes and invite comment. If you sense discontent from one or more employees, try to broach the subject in a way that relieves their insecurities—then respect their privacy if they still decline to talk. 3. Make it known that you are always ready for employees to improve themselves We energize our world of work by looking for strengths in others. Working people have hidden talents that can be used for the benefit of all. Nothing builds morale better than noting the value of others. Let your employees know that you are open to their reaching as far as they can, and they will probably aim higher. 4. Offer only as much as you intend to give Do not invite comment if you do not intend to listen wholeheartedly. Never hold out the promise of rewards if you cannot deliver. Do not hold brainstorming sessions and tell your staff how brilliant their ideas are if you never intend to put any of them to use. People recognize lip service when they hear it and do not work very hard for those they do not trust. 5. Model flexibility and adaptability If you want your employees to be creative self-starters who work up to their potential, show them that proactive problem-solving is more important than sticking to rigid plans and rules. Can you toss out a game plan that isn’t working without worrying about how it makes you look? Can you react quickly to reports of problems by your employees? Can you regroup and re-strategize without acting put out?

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6. Cultivate employees, do not coddle them Despite what some managers believe, you can listen to your employees and show concern for their feelings without babying them. Remember, empathy is different from sympathy, and you must stay attuned to your own feelings while attempting to understand theirs. With a high EQ, you’ll be able to cut off a heart-to-heart talk before it becomes unproductive and interferes with your own goals, without offending your employee. You’ll be able to praise people for a job well done without fearing that it will result in a relaxed work effort. You’ll be able to balance your employees’ need to be valued, with your need to achieve goals. Your emotional acceptance will keep you from being manipulated by someone else’s distress.

Assist co-workers Being a good co-worker is largely a matter of contributing to the workplace morale and team spirit. It might seem preferable to stick to yourself and just get your job done, but people who try that tack often discover that their own interests as well as those of the organisation suffer as a result. Unfortunately, cultivating good relationships with your fellow employees can be a challenge. Not everyone will view you as a comrade, and in turn you won’t feel open and trusting around everyone you work with. Your intuition about people is crucial in such cases. Here are a few ways to use it to your advantage: 

Do not make assumptions about those you work with. It’s so easy to project your prejudices and biases on to your workplace. You may not have to get to know your co-workers as well as your boss or employees, but you’ll never learn anything about them if you begin by assuming stereotypes like recent college grads are always arrogant or almost-retired are stodgy; that women can be manipulated by emotions and men by data. Let your emotions show you what’s unique about everyone.



Do not expect anyone to communicate with 100 percent honesty. Some people seem incapable of plain speaking at work. They’re afraid, they’re too polite, they’re cautious, and they rarely say what they mean or mean what they say. You can wait until you have been burned several times to figure it out, or you can pay extra attention to what your body tells you they feel, and less to what they say. Trust your intuition about people. Be particularly alert with people who may view you as a competitor.



Be prepared to draw the line. There’s a limit to how close you’ll want to be with a co-worker, but that doesn’t mean you won’t or shouldn’t form friendships at work. If you share the values and goals of the organisation and its other employees, there’s a good chance that you’ll find friends there. Stay attuned to your own feelings, however, so you know when you want to be an acquaintance, not a close friend. Do not let emotional blackmail or office politics pressure you into relationships you do not want. If you feel uneasy with a relationship, trust your hunch and back off. If a work conflict comes up with someone who is now a close friend, you’ll be able to tell from the intensity of your own feelings and your empathic feelings where your priorities lie.

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

Offer help; do not wait for people to ask. Not only will your generosity contribute to the camaraderie and morale in the office, but your sensitivity to the needs of others will gain you their future support and loyalty.



Do not take it personally. Remember that everyone has an agenda, a personal life, and a unique style of interaction. You do not have to take anyone’s behaviour personally. Let co-worker’s behaviour bring out your empathy, not your sympathy. You can understand how they might be feeling without being consumed by emotional memory or taking responsibility for their angst.

If you are an employee Even those who manage other people are usually supervised by someone else, so anyone can take the advice that follows. Being a good employee is mainly a matter of doing what you were hired for while retaining your own integrity. And if you are like most of us, it’s also a matter of getting ahead. Here are some ways to do that: 

When there’s a problem, speak up. It would be great if we all had high-EQ bosses, but even the most empathetic boss doesn’t have time to figure out or guess your feelings. Strong, physical pangs that won’t go away will tell you when you shouldn’t stay silent.



Know what you want from the job. If you do not know what you want, you cannot ask for it. What’s most important to you at this point in your life, and how do you expect this job to fulfill those needs?



Know how well you are performing from day to day. The most demoralizing occupational event is to be fired without any idea it was coming. Layoffs aside, it hardly ever has to be that way. If you are keeping your mental powers sharp and you know your job is enhancing your well-being, you are probably performing well and doing what’s right for you. As long as you are staying empathic enough to know that it’s also right for your boss and the organisation, you should never be taken by surprise.



Know what your boss feels is important. This isn’t always what they say is important. Attune to everything that expresses feelings –what the boss does vs. says, where the boss’s own fears seem to lie, how the boss treats other people—to get an idea of how to fulfill the boss’s needs on the job. With empathy you’ll feel an echo of your boss’s emotions as long as you are paying attention.

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Address a worker’s anger Managers are required to deal with workers who exhibit anger in the workplace, especially given the negative impact this can have on other workers, productivity, and overall workplace morale. Some managers choose to ignore infrequent or low-intensity demonstrations of anger. In relatively trivial cases, this may be the best approach, because occasional anger is natural, may not be evidence of a problem, and may have no lasting effect on the workplace. High-intensity or frequent angry outbursts represent a different issue. Here are a few tips to consider, where appropriate, on how to address workers who regularly or intensely express anger: 1. Hold the conversation at a time of relative calm: This is not a response to use in the midst of escalated emotion or anger. 2. Express your intention to help: Let them know that you want to help and work with them to help ensure a respectful and safe work environment for all. 3. Discuss observed changes: Start by letting them know that you have observed changes in their behaviour. Identify the time period in which you have made these observations. Be specific and objective in describing the behaviour you have seen, and avoid making assumptions or laying blame (as this will likely just lead to defensiveness). 4. Point out the impact of their behaviour: Describe the negative impact their behaviour is having on others. 5. Ask about contributing factors: Ask if any workplace factors may be contributing to their anger. 6. Take a problem-solving approach: Work to identify and problem-solve any contributing factors. Try to agree upon immediate strategies for minimizing the impact of anger on others. 7. Establish boundaries: Be direct in describing acceptable vs. unacceptable workplace behaviours. This can be particularly important if the worker is engaging in disrespectful, uncivil, bullying, harassing or otherwise abusive behaviours (toward managers, workers or clients/customers). Remain unapologetic in your expression of behaviours that must change. 8. Set a time for follow-up: Establish a time period in which you will expect to see changes. Agree on a plan and ensure you schedule a follow-up time to check in with the worker.

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Different approaches for different emotions One of the challenges managers face is to know how to stay flexible and adaptive when dealing with distressed workers. The way you respond to someone who is distressed can make a significant difference in terms of whether they feel supported (and in some cases less distressed) after your interaction, or whether they feel unsupported (and possibly more distressed). It can be important to address a worker’s distress early on, to use active/reflective listening, and to ask empathetic questions. It is always helpful to remain “present” and calm, and to control your own emotional reactions. It is also important to be mindful of your non-verbal behaviour and the messages it may be sending (see the information handout Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Communication). Perhaps most critically, it is important to tailor your approach to each individual worker and situation, keeping in mind that different approaches are more or less effective for different emotion states. The way you approach someone who is angry should differ from your approach with someone who is sad. The table below shows different approaches that can be taken for different emotion states, and highlights those that may be more or less effective. Emotion

Less Effective Approach

More Effective Approach

Worker appears sad or hurt

You try to “boost the energy” of the worker by being extra positive or happy. Your rate of speech speeds up, you have a “chipper” tone, you smile, hoping that the worker will feel better after your interaction. (This may make the worker feel invalidated and misunderstood. They may “shut down” and not want to communicate further.)

Worker appears fearful or anxious

You feed off the fear/anxiety the worker is communicating. You talk more rapidly and become nervous yourself. You approach the interaction with a sense of urgency, wanting to convey that you understand the source of the worker’s fear or anxiety. (There is a “contagion” effect with certain emotion states, particularly fear/anxiety. This can have the unintended effect of increasing the worker’s anxiety even further. They may feel as though the conversation is being “rushed”). You want to communicate that the anger is inappropriate, so you take an assertive stance that borders on aggressive; you maintain strong eye contact and speak in a loud,

Use a soft tone, staying mindful of slowing down your rate of speech. Lean forward and communicate that you are listening by nodding your head or saying “um”, “hmmm”, etc. Pause to let the worker speak. Do not make intense eye contact, instead allowing the worker to have “space” to feel sad or hurt. Focus on listening and taking a supportive (not problem-solving) approach. (With sadness and hurt, “mirroring” the nonverbal tone of the conversation can help you feel more empathetic, and can increase the likelihood of the worker feeling understood.) Be mindful of using a calm but assertive and confident tone (speaking not overly softly or slowly, as this may come across as patronizing). Maintain eye contact. Focus on redirecting the worker toward taking constructive actions, using a problem-solving approach. (With fear or anxiety, maintaining an assertive and confident stance can help the worker feel you are “present” with them, and can provide reassurance that can have a calming effect.)

Worker appears angry

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Maintain an assertive stance and tone, but remain mindful of not making intense eye contact. Lean away from (not toward) the worker. Keep your voice calm and steady, and stay aware of not increasing your

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direct and strong tone of voice. You lean in toward the worker, wanting to ensure that you appear forceful. (Responding in an aggressive manner can have the unintended impact of further “fuelling” and escalating someone’s anger.)

volume or rate of speech. Try to understand the source of the worker’s anger and any work specific needs that they may feel are not being met. Do not blame or take a combative approach. (Maintaining a gently assertive stance that contrasts with the worker’s anger can communicate that the anger is inappropriate and establishes your boundaries, and should help prevent escalating the situation.) Source: adapted from www.workplacestrategiesformentalhealth.com

Learning Activity 19 Implement identified opportunities and tasks in the workplace according to organisational policy and procedures

Activity type

Role-play

Activity timing

10 minutes per group

Activity description

In your workplace co-worker appears sad or hurt over a work matter. The worker thinks that you have mistreated and left the worker out of a teamwork.

1. 2. 3. 4.

Form a group of two learners. Assign the role of worker among co-workers of two Address the situation effectively to console the worker Use strategies emotional intelligent implementation strategies to handle the situation playing the role of a co-worker who use empathy and social skills

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In conclusion Emotional intelligence fuels your performance both in the workplace and in your personal life, but it starts with you. From your confidence, empathy and optimism to your social skills and self-control, understanding and managing your own emotions can accelerate success in all areas of your life. No matter what professional field you are in, whether you manage a team of two or 20, or even just yourself, realising how effective you are at controlling your own emotional energy is a great starting point. Absent from the curriculum, emotional intelligence isn’t something we are taught or tested on, so where did it come from, what is it, do you have it and is it really that important? Emotional Intelligence 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Self-awareness Self-management Motivation Empathy Social skills What to avoid

Emotional Intelligence Put simply, emotional Intelligence is how well individuals identify and manage their own emotions and react to the emotions of others. It’s understanding how those emotions shape your thoughts and actions so you can have greater control over your behaviour and develop the skills to manage yourself more effectively. Becoming more emotionally conscious allows us to grow and gain a deeper understanding of who we are, enabling us to communicate better with others and build stronger relationships. The following 50 points provide a good starting point to discovering the foundations of your emotional intelligence according to emotional intelligence principles. 1. Practice observing how you feel Often we lead hectic, busy lifestyles and it’s all too easy for us to lose touch with our emotions. To reconnect, try setting a timer for various points during the day. When the timer goes off, take a few deep breaths and notice how you’re feeling emotionally. Pay attention to where that emotion is showing up as a physical feeling in your body and what the sensation feels like. The more you practice, the more it will become second nature. 2. Pay attention to how you behave While you’re practising your emotional awareness, take the time to notice your behaviour too. Observe how you act when you’re experiencing certain emotions, and how that affects your day-to-day life. Managing our emotions becomes easier once we become more conscious of how we react to them.

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3. Question your own opinions In this hyper-connected world, it is easy to fall into an ‘opinion bubble’. This is a state of existence where your own opinions are constantly re-enforced by people with similar viewpoints. Take time to read the other side of the story and have your views challenged (even if you still feel they are right). This will help you understand other people and be more receptive to new ideas. 4. Take responsibility for your feelings Your emotions and behaviour come from you, they Do not come from anyone else and once you start accepting responsibility for how you feel and how you behave it will have a positive impact on all areas of your life. 5. Take time to celebrate the positive A key part emotional intelligence is celebrating and reflecting on the positive moments in life. People who experience positive emotions are generally more resilient and more likely to have fulfilling relationships, which will help them move past adversity. 6. But Do not ignore the negative Reflecting on negative feelings is just as important as reflecting on the positive. Understanding why you feel negative is key to becoming a fully-rounded individual, who is more able to deal with negative issues in the future. 7. Do not forget to breathe Life throws various situations our way, with most of us experiencing some sort of stress on a regular basis. To manage your emotions when this happens and to avoid outbursts, do not forget to breathe. Call a time out and go put some cold water on your face, go outside and get some fresh air or make a drink – anything to keep your cool and give yourself a chance to get a hold on what’s happening and how you should respond. 8. A lifetime process Understand and remember that emotional intelligence is something you develop and requires continual improvement; it’s very much a lifetime practice.

Self-awareness A key component of emotional intelligence, self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand your own character, moods and emotions and their effect on others. It includes a realistic self-assessment of what you’re capable of – your strengths and weaknesses – and knowing how others perceive you. It can help highlight areas for self-improvement, make you better at adapting and can limit wrongful decisions. 9. Learn to look at yourself objectively Knowing yourself completely is difficult and it’s almost impossible to look at yourself objectively, so input from those who know you is vital. Ask them where your strengths and weaknesses lie, write down what they say and compare it. Look out for any patterns and remember not to argue with them – it doesn’t mean they’re right – they’re just trying to help you gauge your perception from another’s point of view.

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10. Keep a diary A great way to get an accurate gauge of yourself is to keep a diary. Start by writing down what happened to you at the end of every day, how it made you feel and how you dealt with it. Documenting details like these will make you more aware of what you're doing and will highlight where problems might be coming from. Periodically, look back over your comments and take note of any trends. 11. Understand what motivates you Everyone has a core motivation when they begin a project. The difficulty is keeping this driving force in mind when adversity appears. All too often people start a project but fail to complete it because they lose their motivation to do so. Take time to understand what motivates you and use it to push you across the finish line. 12. Take it easy Sometimes emotional outbreaks occur because we Do not take the time out to slow down and process how we’re feeling. Give yourself a break and make a conscious effort to meditate, do yoga or read – a little escapism works wonders. And then the next time you have an emotional reaction to something, try to pause before you react. 13. Acknowledge your emotional triggers Self-aware individuals are able to recognise their emotions as they occur. It's important to be flexible with your emotions and adapt them to your situation. Do not deny your emotions stage time but Do not be rigid with them either, take the time to process your emotions before communicating them. 14. Predict how you will feel Think about a situation you’re going into and predict how you will feel. Practice naming and accepting the feelings - naming the feeling puts you in control. Try to choose an appropriate reaction to the feeling rather than just reacting to it. 15. Trust your intuition If you are still unsure about which path to take, trust your intuition. After all, your subconscious has been learning which path to take throughout your entire life.

Self-management Once you have gotten to grips with self-awareness and how your emotions work, you can get a handle on self-management. Which means taking responsibility for your own behaviour and well-being as well as controlling emotional outbursts. 16. Snap out of it One key way to keep your emotions in check is to change your sensory input – motion dictates emotion as the old saying goes. So, jolt your physical body out of routine by attending an exercise class or try channelling a busy mind with a puzzle or a book anything to break your existing routine. 17. Maintain a schedule (and stick to it!) Ensuring that you create a schedule and stick to it is extremely important if you want to

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complete tasks effectively. Paul Minors of PRODUCTIVITYIST writes "When you schedule appointments in your calendar, you’re saying to yourself: “I’m going to do A, B and C by X date and it’s going to take Y hours.” Once you make this promise, it becomes harder to procrastinate." 18. Eat well This sounds like an easy one but regulating what you eat and drink can have a massive effect on your emotional state, so try your best to maintain a balanced diet. 19. Do not get mad Funnel your emotional energy into something productive. It’s okay to keep overwhelming emotions inside, especially if it’s not an appropriate time to let them out. However, when you do, rather than vent it on something futile, turn it into motivation instead. Do not get mad, get better. 20. Be interested A key factor in managing yourself and your emotions is consciously taken the time to be interested in the subject matter, whether it be business or personal. 21. Do not expect people to trust you (if you cannot trust them) Establishing trust with a person can be difficult, and once it's lost it's very hard to regain. Try to be mindful that people are only human and will make mistakes. By offering your trust, you are inviting people to offer their trust in return. 22. It’s your choice You have the ability to choose how you react to a situation - you can either overreact or remain calm. But it’s your choice.

Motivation A personal skills aspect of emotional intelligence, self-motivation refers to our inner drive to achieve and improve our commitment to our goals, our readiness to act on opportunities and our overall optimism. 23. Personal goals Personal goals can provide long-term direction and short-term motivation. So grab a pen and paper and have a think about where you want to be and set some targets for yourself. Base them on your strengths and make them relevant to you and ultimately, make them exciting and achievable. This task alone is enough to get you instantly motivated. 24. Be realistic When you have set a new goal, be sure to give yourself realistic and clear aims to achieving that goal and understand that change is an inevitable part of life. Achievement boosts confidence and as self-confidence rises so does the ability to achieve more, see how it works?

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25. Positive thinking To keep motivated it’s important to maintain a positive and optimistic mindset. See problems and setbacks as learning opportunities instead of failings and try to avoid negative people and opt to surround yourself with positive, well-motivated people – they’ll have a great effect on you. 26. Lifelong learning Both knowledge and information are key for feeding your mind and keeping you curious and motivated. And with information so easily accessible, you have the opportunity to fuel your values and passions at the click of a button. 27. Be prepared to leave your comfort zone The biggest barrier to achieving your full potential is not challenging yourself frequently enough. Great things can happen to you if you’re willing to leave your comfort zone, so do so as often as you can. 28. Help Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and vice versa. If others need help, do not hold back in giving it to them. Seeing other people succeed will only help to motivate yourself. 29. Stand and stretch For an instant short-term boost to your motivation, take a stand and stretch out as far as you can for 10 seconds. When you return to your desk, you'll be in the correct frame of mind and ready to work.

Empathy Quite simply, empathy is the ability to understand other people’s emotions. Understanding that everyone has their own set of feelings, desires, triggers and fears. To be empathetic you’re allowing their experiences to resonate with your own in order to respond in an emotionally appropriate way. It’s a lifelong skill and the most important one for navigating relationships, and whilst it may not come naturally, there are a few ways it can be nurtured. 30. Listen Before you’re able to empathise with someone you first need to understand what it is they’re saying, which means listening is at the very epicentre of empathy. It involves letting them talk without interruption, preconceptions, scepticism and putting your own issues on pause to allow yourself to absorb their situation and consider how they are feeling before you react. 31. Try to be approachable Whether you're the leader of a team or working on a project with others, try to remain accessible and approachable. 32. Perspective We’re all familiar with the phrase “put yourself in their shoes”, and this is exactly that.

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The simplest way of gaining a little perspective the next time an issue or situation arises is to switch places with the other person and really think about what’s happening from their point of view. Sometimes there’s no right or wrong but at least you’ll understand enough to come to a resolve or offer some useful advice. 33. Open yourself up One of the quickest ways to offer a sincere exchange or sign of empathy is to listen to someone’s experiences and connect to it with a similar experience of your own. Do not be afraid to open yourself up, it might just be the start of a great and lasting friendship. 34. Immerse yourself in a new culture The old saying 'travel broadens the mind' is still true, even in this ever-shrinking world. Sometimes the best way to open your mind is to jump on a plane and go somewhere completely different. 35. Cultivate a curiosity about strangers Highly empathetic people have an insatiable curiosity about strangers. When we talk to people outside of our usual social circle we learn about and begin to understand opinions, views and lives that are different to our own. So next time you’re sat on a bus you know just what to do… 36. Acknowledge what people are saying Another useful tip is, whilst listening to what a person has to say, use acknowledgement words such as 'I understand' and 'I see' to show a person you're listening (but of course only say these things if you are actually listening!).

Social skills In emotional intelligence terms, social skills refer to the skills needed to handle and influence other people’s emotions effectively. It covers a wide range of abilities, from communication and conflict management to dealing with change, meeting new people and building relationships and plays a part in almost every part of our lives, from work life to our romantic life. It’s complex and requires utilising almost every point we have already mentioned, but here are a few pointers for you. 37. Get started A good way to get started on improving your social skills is to isolate one skill you know you would like to develop; this narrows it down and gives you focus. Internationally known psychologist, Daniel Goleman, suggests highlighting someone you know to be good at that particular skill, observing how they act and how they control their emotions and then implementing and applying that knowledge to yourself. 38. Wear somebody else's shoes Not literally of course! Everyone has heard the phrase 'walk a mile in somebody else's shoes', but how many people actually practice this advice? Give it a try, you never know.

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39. Practice makes perfect The idea of practising your social skills might sound strange, but like everything in life, practice makes perfect. 40. Social media cold turkey We Do not mean to sound old, but taking your social life offline and engaging face-toface with people will open up so many opportunities for you to gain and develop your social skills. So next time instead of instant messaging your best friend, meet up for a drink! Emotional intelligence doesn’t expand within the confines of (un) social media… 41. Get networking A good way to practise your social acumen is to attend local networking events. The great thing about these events is that everyone attending has a shared reason for attending. 42. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it We’re talking about the importance of nonverbal communication and how that can affect a person’s opinion of you. Body language, tone of voice and eye contact is key to letting others know how you feel emotionally. So, once you have got your emotions intact, think about how you’re physically coming across. 43. The unknown The ultimate method to building your social skills is to get out there and be sociable. It sounds simple, but you cannot strengthen your social skills without being social! Join a group or network outside of your usual circle; it’s the perfect way to put all of our tips into play.

What to avoid Those with a high EQ very rarely display the following traits, something for you to be mindful of. 44. Drama Emotionally intelligent people listen, offer sound advice and extend empathy to those who need it but they Do not permit others’ lives and emotions to effect or rule their own. 45. Complaining Complaining implies two things – one, that we are victims, and two, that there are no solutions to our problems. Rarely does an emotionally intelligent person feel victimised, and even more infrequently do they feel that a solution is beyond their grasp. So instead of looking for someone or something to blame, they think constructively and dissolve the solution in private. 46. Negativity Emotionally intelligent people have the ability to kerb cynical thoughts. They

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acknowledge that negative thoughts are just that – thoughts – and rely on facts to come to conclusions as well as being able to silence or zone out any negativity. 47. Dwelling on the past Those with high emotional intelligence choose to learn from the mistakes and choices they have made and instead of dwelling on the past are mindful to live in the now. 48. Selfishness Whilst a degree of selfishness is required to get ahead in life, too much can fracture relationships and cause disharmony. Try to avoid being overly selfish and consider others’ needs. 49. Giving in to peer pressure Just because everyone else does something, they Do not feel compelled to follow suit if they Do not want to. They think independently, and never conform just to please other people. 50. Being overly critical Nothing destroys a person's morale faster than being overly critical. Remember that people are only human and have the same motivations (and limitations) as you. Take the time to understand another person then communicate the change you want to see. By understanding and successfully applying emotional intelligence, you too can reach your full potential and achieve your goals.

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