FUSE STUDENT MINISTRY

SMALL GROUP LEADER GUIDE www.reallygreatsite.com

FUSE

GENESIS METRO CHURCH

Table of Contents 3

WELCOME MESSAGE

4

FIND YOUR 3; BUILD YOUR 12

7

HOW TO FACILITATE CONVERSATIONS WELL

9

STAY IN BOUNDS

11

HOW TO CONNECT WITH PARENTS/GUARDIANS

13

7 ESSENTIALS OF A SMALL GROUP LEADER

15

WEEKLY, MONTHLY, QUARTERLY

16

BASIC ELEMENTS OF GREAT SMALL GROUPS

18

HOT TOPICS

32

WHAT TO DO WHEN

36

FIRST TIME GUESTS

38

CREATIVE PRAYER IDEAS

39

SERVING THE COMMUNITY

Andy Stanley once said, "As leaders, we are never responsible for filling anyone else's cup. Our responsibility is to empty ours." You are not perfect, but you are called. We don't believe that you have a calling to our program. We believe that you are called to pour your cup out for the NEXT GENERATION. We believe you are called to be a big part of a few students lives. We believe that you are volunteering on purpose, but even more so, for a purpose. You don't have all the answers and at times you'll feel unequipped, but we serve a God who is the answer to life and we have the Holy Spirit "so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:17) It has been said that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. You have answered the call and Jesus will work in you and through you to make an impact! Thank you for pouring into our students. This guide is designed to help you make the most of your time with students to have the absolute best group ever. Being a small group leader is so much fun, very rewarding, and can also be really challenging. Please know that we are in your corner all the way. You are never alone in this journey and should you ever need anything from us, please don't hesitate to ask. Thanks again for all you do We're praying for you as you begin this life changing journey. Fuse Staff

// JESUS HAD 3 & 12

// BUILD YOUR 12

When we spread out our time we can make ripples in

While we pray to be laser focused on finding our 3, we'll also be building an inner circle.

the water, but when we focus our time we can make a lasting impact. Jesus loved, taught, cared for, fed, and performed miracles for thousands of people. Jesus had crowds following him wherever he went. Jesus even sent out 72 people who were learning from him (Luke 10). However, Jesus handpicked 12 to be in his inner-circle. There is only so much of us to go around. Jesus gave his life for the forgiveness of everyone, but he only brought a handful of people to be closely pastored and led by him. There was intense intention put into those 12 teenagers that he called to follow him.

Laser focus your time, intention, leadership, and energy to building a small group of 6-8 that are your innercircle. Jesus had 12 disciples, but he also had all day and every day to mentor/pastor because he had woman patrons who paid for his entire life (Luke 8). We don't get the privilege of 24/7 pastoring. However, over time we can build an inner-circle of 6-8 that are our people. The size of your small group does not matter as much as the size of your influence. Circles are better than rows and if a circle gets much bigger than 12, it gets hard to be

Jesus took his teachings further with them. Jesus explained more insight to them. Jesus gave them more tasks to grow. Jesus prepared these followers to one day be leaders. And that is the goal, we are here to disciple!

heard. We have to have our inner circle of students that we are being intentional about! Focused energy is better than spread out ripples.

// FIND YOUR 3

It may seem this way, but you don't need to neglect other people. This is not picking people necessarily. It is the Holy Spirit calling you to deeper relationships with a few. This is better than spreading yourself too thin across too many. Knee deep discipleship in a handful of lives is better than shallow discipleship in too many.

You cannot do everything and be everything for everyone, but you can be everything for 3 teenagers. Even inside of his 12 disciples Jesus had 3 specific disciples he gave more to challenged more, leaned in closer, and empowered more than the others. Peter, James, and John were some of the first disciples Jesus called to follow him (Luke 5:1-11). Only 3 disciples got to see the transfiguration of Jesus Christ. Jesus challenged James and John to be servant-minded in Mark 10. John was the disciple "whom Jesus loved." Peter was the disciple whom Jesus challenged more than anyone else! There is a written emphasis of those 3 people who then became some of the early church leaders. Sometimes it is as easy as the 3 that are the most consistent in attending HS. Or students of families that you know attend. Or 3 students that are best friends. There are many ways that God can lead you to them. Finding 3 can take a while and can be frustrating at times, but is the best focus of your leadership. You may not find them when your students are middle schoolers. It is not about speeding into a deep commitment. It's about being called by God to be a part of their life for the goal is to go knee-deep in 3 people's lives. The aim is to be invited to the wedding when they get married, to be one of the first calls when they get their driver's license, and to be there when there is a death in the family. This is the long play. You'll get to know their families, where they come from, what they are good at, what they are bad at, who their best friends are, what they love to do, and who they want to be. Do what Jesus did!

"Isn't that playing favorites?"

"How long could it take for me to find my 3?" Finding your 3 could take a WHILE! Finding your 3 is more about being called to them by the Holy Spirit than it is picking 3 people. You are called to them! It could take you a week to get your 3 or it could take more than a year to find one. The time does not matter as much as following the Holy Spirit's guiding. "What if my group is larger than 6-8?" This is where multiplying your leadership comes in. When/if your group grows larger than 6-8, it is time to bring in another volunteer and get them to build their 12 and find their 3. Multiplying your group has to happen or eventually that growth will settle back to 6-8 consistent. So, let's work together to get the new students in our groups connected to leaders who are called to lead them!

01

02

// PRAY

// CONVERSE

Be praying that the Lord would lead you to those handful of students that He is calling you to pour into through middle school, high school, and beyond! As it says in 1 John 5:14-15, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears uswhatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him."

Facilitate conversations in your small group time well (see page 10 - 'HOW TO FACILITATE CONVERSATIONS WELL"). Making your small group comfortable makes it much more likely for students to want to be there weekly.

03

04

// CONNECT

// HANGOUT

Connect with students in the commons or outside before and after service. Don't cluster with other leaders the whole time, say hello to your students and see how their week is going.

Do something fun 3 or 4 times a year outside of Wednesdays. Make it a point to plan 3 or 4 hangouts for your small group (and sometimes parents too) every school year: paintball, movie nights, dinners, service projects, whatever!

05

06

// SPEND TIME ON THEIR TURF

// STAY IN TOUCH

There is a huge value in spending time with students on

Keep in touch every week through individual texts and

what we call "their turf" - places and occasions that mean something to them (sporting events, or anything

group chats (GroupMe). The best way to develop influence in the lives of both students and their parents

that has to do with fine arts, etc.). Showing up to an event that is personal to them will mean the world to one of your students. It's the key to developing major

is with CONSISTENCY. If anything abnormal happens over text, don't forget to screenshot it and send it to your student pastor. (See page 14 - 'STAYING IN BOUNDS'.)

influence in students' lives and to demonstrating to both them and their parents how much you care about their families.

07

08

// BE PRESENT

// BE SPIRITUAL

Be at Big Events. God moves so much during Camp and Winter Conference. Trust us, you want to be there for these events that become pivotal moments for students' spiritual journey.

Be intentional about being spiritual; don't shy away from it. Send Bible verses and say you are praying that verse for them today. Challenge them to invite students who are far from God to an event or to FUSE. Ask for prayer requests. Do a group Facetime to pray for a group member before a big event or if you find out something big is happening in their life.

09

10

// REMEMBER & CONNECT

// TAKE THEM WITH YOU

Remember big events such as birthdays, tryouts, anniversary of something hard (death of a loved one, parents divorce, major sickness), and connect with them that day. Add these to your calendar so you don't forget them!

Spending time with students doesn't always have to look extravagant. It can be as simple as taking them with you to grab something at the store, or having a bite to eat with them. Don't feel like each moment with them has to look the same. Again, it is about consistency and desire to spend time with them. The simplest moments make for the best memories which can lead to life change!

11

12

// PRAY Be

intentional

// STAY UPDATED prayer

Have things for them to look back on and see growth in

requests. This shows intention and tells them that you care enough to remember, even when it's something as

about

getting

updated

on

themselves. Do something like having them write what they are most excited about and most nervous about

small as them being nervous for a test.

going into the year or even semester. Keep those papers to give back at the end of the year to see their progress. Rejoice with them!

// Imagine you are driving a Chevy Tahoe filled with 7 people. A few know each other, one is your best friend, few more have been around you guys but don't know you, and the last guy is a hitchhiker you've just picked up. You have 20 minutes to connect with each person, help them connect with each other, get then to digest a principle/idea that will make their lives better, do it in such a way that they'll want to ride with you again, and you have to pay attention to where you're going. This may sound like a daunting task. In fact, you just need to know a few key principles to make the most of this drive! //FACILITATE, DON'T DOMINATE You're not there to preach; you're there to unpack. Unpacking a conversation means you're helping people look deeper into themselves and into the content they just received. This is HUGE! You are helping people personalize God's message and articulate it out loud. Science shows that we cement lessons in our minds the faster we say what we've learned out loud.

Why is it great to say names out loud? They create an immediate connection They infuse positivity Names are the most welcoming word you could say It lowers people's guard to encourage talking Tips on Remembering Names Have everyone say their name at the beginning

Michael Stanier, in his book, The Coaching Habit, says

This can be done in the ice breaker. I like to say, "Some of us know each other, but my guess is

asking more questions better improves people's lives versus giving more advice. In our context, this means it would be best to only say 3-4 sentences before asking

that everyone here doesn't know everyone here so..." *insert ice breaker question* Say their name right after they say it.

another question. You can be incredibly impactful by facilitating conversations.

Them: "I am Jason and my favorite color is yellow" You: "Yellow! Nice, Jason, me too!"

//NAME YOUR PEOPLE Dale Carnegie once said, "Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." We love our names. We all want to hear our names. Whether it be at an award ceremony or in the hallway of a church. People are proud of their names, their family names, where their names came from, and above all, we want others to say our names. As drivers, we want to say names. Remembering and saying names might be more important than the questions you'll ask. Say names out loud all the time.

Repeat the name quickly in your head. Sounds creepy, but effective for memory.

//EFFECTIVE VS. EFFICIENT

//QUICK HITTERS

Effective conversations can be different from efficient conversations. Efficiency focuses your mind on the quantity of questions. Being effective focuses your goal on impact, which is not always efficient. An effective conversation disarms people and strengthens the

THE SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS WILL BE PROVIDED AS A GUIDE. Feel free to generate your own questions during your preparation AND even on the spot.

lesson/idea God is wanting the group to take with them. An effective discussion brings a group together. Efficiency can feel rushed and robotic.

ASK STUDENTS IF THEY HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MESSAGE. Encourage them to deal with the material on their own terms. Create a climate where people feel the freedom to ask any question.

Effective = Engagement. Effective group leaders write down their own questions based on the sermon before small groups. Effective leaders hand pick the questions they know their group will dig into the best. Effective

DON'T MOVE TO A NEW QUESTION TOO QUICKLY. After a student answers a questions, ask, "Would anyone like to add to that?" or "Does everyone

leaders don't stare at the small group questions in the

agree/disagree with that?"

group. Effective groups build off of questions and thoughts from each other. How to transition from questions: Repeat what the last person said and put that into

ECHO SOME RESPONSES TO YOUR QUESTIONS. If a student's answer or comment is long-winded or unclear, repeat it back for clarity. This proves you are listening and it keeps the attention of the rest of the

the next question. "Jason, that's a great point about the message; we don't need to strive for purpose, God gives purpose. On that note, Mark, what do you think

group.

are some purpose's God gives you? Mention a lesson you learn. "Yeah, that's good Jason. God really showed me that I keep trying to prove my purpose, when

the topics and/or scripture passages unless something urgent comes up (Ex. a family crisis). Wandering is easy; being a leader is not!

really I get to live my purpose. A tough lesson, but I'm learning. Mark, did God say anything to you about purpose?

DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS. We are human, and it's good sometimes for your students to hear you say, "I'm not sure what the answer is, but we can find the answer together!"

//YOU'RE THE DRIVER Small Group Questions are a frame to the discussion, but you are the driver. Use the questions that we make weekly to guide the conversation, not to dictate the conversation. You are chosen to lead this group. God can do so much in 20-35 minutes! Embrace that as a calling, believe that God is using you, and pray that it furthers His will for our students. The questions are there to help, but you are the driver! If your Tacoma wants to stop for ice-cream, stop. If you know Apple maps are wrong and you need to take your group left instead of right, go left! If your group is clicking and wants to stay on one question/idea then engage with them there. Write down questions you can ask during the message that you could use!

KEEP THE GROUP FOCUSED AND ON PURPOSE. Don't consistently go down a rabbit trail and leave

// THESE GUIDELINES EXIST TO PROTECT STUDENTS FROM HARM, AND TO PROTECT YOU FROM FALSE ALLEGATIONS.

//BE LIKE JESUS "Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children" - Ephesians 5:1 (NIV) Leaders, students are watching you. Because of your position, your words. choices, and relationship with God will be carefully observed and replicated by the students that you influence. While we don't expect you to be perfect by any means, we do expect you to strive to make wise decisions and glorify God with your life and choices.

// WORK HARD "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,"Colossians 3:23 (NIV) You are so important to what we do at FUSE - we need you, in everything you do, to do it to the best of your ability. Show up on time. Give it your all. Be faithful with the responsibilities entrusted to you. Remember, you're in ministry - you aren't just serving Christ in theory, you are directly impacting the Body of Christ and the Kingdom of God. So glorify God in your work!

SEXUAL PURITY. Small Group Leaders must abstain from all forms and degrees of extramarital sex (including living with their significant other before marriage). acting on same-sex attraction, pornography, and any kind of sexual impurity (I Corinthians 6:18-20). ALCOHOL + DRUG USE. We do expect leaders to exercise wisdom and restraint, understanding that our personal freedom in Christ must first be subject to the spiritual growth and well-being of other believers (Titus

// BE KIND "Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else." - | Thessalonians 5:13-15 (NIV)

1:7, Romans 14, I Timothy 3:3). No FUSE Student volunteer may consume alcohol on a FUSE campus or in the presence of FUSE students. Drug and underage alcohol

Ministry is all about people, so to be effective in ministry, you'll need to reflect God's heart for people. Treat students, parents, other volunteers, and the FUSE Staff

use is never acceptable.

with gentleness, forgiveness, patience, kindness, and love.

ONLINE ACTIVITY. When online, Leaders must separate themselves from all questionable photos, language, or content (Ephesians 4:29, 5:3-4), maintaining an online presence that is above reproach. Here's a tip: if the parent of a 5th grader wouldn't want their child to see something that you have posted, then it's inappropriate. Sharing strong opinions or controversial beliefs on social media should be considered carefully. You are entitled to free speech and your own personal beliefs, but as a FUSE Students leader and a Christ follower, you also have the responsibility of representing Jesus and that comes

// MAINTAIN PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES Be wise, be wise, be wise. Maintain healthy and safe physical boundaries with students at all times. High-fives are great for all students. Side hugs for students of the opposite sex. Don't allow students to sit on your lap. Do not give full hugs to students of the opposite sex, and don't hug for a long period of time. This also means enforcing boundaries with students who push physical limits. Stay above reproach.

before anything else.

// LOG ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATION

ATTITUDE. Sometimes it's the little things that disqualify

When you find yourself in the midst of a sensitive conversation with a student, keep in mind that words

us from effective ministry. All FUSE volunteers are expected to strive to look like Jesus by exhibiting humble, teachable spirits, particularly in the midst of conflict or correction, and must not voice critical opinions of any church member, FUSE Staff, volunteer, parent, or student, in front of a student.

and intentions can be misconstrued - intentionally or unintentionally. Any time you are engaged in a serious conversation with a student, log your conversations (take screen shots, paste text into a Word document, save text messages and emails). This may seem excessive, but if you're ever falsely accused of misconduct from a student or parent, you'll be glad you did it.

// REPORT DANGEROUS SITUATIONS According to Texas Law, we have 48 hours to report potential abuse. If a student ever says, "I need to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone," never agree. Let them know that you'll need to inform the FUSE Staff if the student is being hurt, may hurt themselves, or may hurt someone else. Report any of these cases (proven or potential) to the FUSE Staff immediately.

// RULES FOR ONE-ON-ONES WITH STUDENTS Never be one on one with a student outside of a Wednesday if you have not made a connection with their parent/guardian first. Never have a one on one with a student of the opposite sex. If you need to have a private conversation with a student, have the conversation in a public place.

// INVEST You are on this team for a reason! Students don't need

Never transport a student anywhere alone, unless you have made a connection with their parents and they have approved it. Have them send you a text

babysitters or just warm bodies. We need you and all

giving permission!


that you can bring to the table. Your investment in every area is vital to a healthy ministry. Get the most from your time with FUSE Students by leaning in and engaging.

Don't over promise secrecy in any situation. When they are in danger or being hurt, you have a legal obligation to talk to Staff about it.

Be proactive about interacting with students. They

//INTERACTING WITH STUDENTS

typically won't be the ones to reach out first and could be intimidated by a group of leaders. Make parent communication a priority. Make sure parents/guardians are aware of who you are and why

Leaders should be proactive before service to interact with their students Leaders DO NOT need to cluster together. Leaders should NEVER be alone with a student in a

you are communicating with their child.

private place.

Attend training opportunities. // PARENT/GUARDIAN CONTACT

Leaders guard their words and actions so that they are never misunderstood as angry or abusive. Leaders make sure that they don't interact in a way

Make parents/guardians aware of who you are and why you are communicating with their child. This will help

that it can be misconstrued as flirting. Leaders are to never send individual texts with a

you make a connection with your student's family. Having a connection with their parents/guardians will

student of the opposite sex. Sensitive conversations should take place between a

free you up to be better understood as a partner there to be an added voice for their child.

student and a leader of the same gender. If a student of the opposite gender comes to you to discuss a sensitive topic, remind them that you care about them and in order for the student to get the best help available, you need to bring a leader of the same gender in on the conversation.

// Communicating and building relationships with parents/guardians will truly make you a partner with them as we work together to raise their student to be a man/woman of God. Here are 6 ways that you can connect to the most important authority figure in your student's life.

01

// LET THEM KNOW WHO YOU ARE FUSE Staff can get you the contact information for the families in your small group. You can copy and paste a text that says something like; "Hi! I'm, _. I'm your student's new small group leader. I just want you to have my info so that you know who your students leader is and so that I can be a resource for you however I can help! I look forward to getting to know you and your amazing student!" If you are leading with a co-leader who has been there then add, "I just started leading with in this group." to your text.

02

// ESTABLISH CONFIDENTIALITY GUIDELINES WITH THEIR PARENTS For students that are a part of your 12, establish guidelines with their parent about confidentiality and what/when information can be shared. Every parent is different, some will want to know everything and some will want you to keep that relationship sacred even from them in the interest of the best outcome for their student. This obviously does not apply when a student is being hurt or hurting someone themselves in any way.

03 // CELEBRATE THEIR STUDENT Send a text to their parents celebrating something they did/said while you were with their student. Example texts: (Picture of them worshiping) "It was so cool to see your student going after God in worship tonight! I had to share!" • "There was a new student in our group tonight and your son/daughter did a great job making them feel welcomed in our group!"

04 // HAVE A GATHERING AT A PARENT'S HOUSE 3 or 4 times each year have a get together at one of your students houses. This could be as simple as a movie night with pizza, a potluck style dinner with your students and their parents, or you can put together a fun activity around the time of the year (pumpkin carving, gingerbread house crafts, etc.). It's the perfect way to spend time with students in an environment where everyone can build relationships, have a lot of fun together and make memories that will last a lifetime. These events can also serve as opportunities to connect with parents, encourage their involvement, and impact their entire family.

05

// HONOR THE PARENT/GUARDIAN All students struggle with authority. If you are not on the parent's side, you are not on the kid's side. Let students vent, but never join in even when it seems merited. Acknowledge their feelings but try to point to the perspective of their parents caring about them above all else. Be an active cheerleader of their parents. If a student has a grievance with their parents ask, "what did they say when you talked with them about this?" Let students vent, but never join in even when it seems merited.

06 // BE IN TOUCH The best way to develop influence in the lives of both students and their parents is with CONSISTENCY. We challenge Small Group Leaders to connect with students and/ or parents every week in small but meaningful ways. It could be a text message with an encouragement or Bible verse, a postcard, a quick note on social media, a phone call on their birthday, an email to parents about what their students are learning, etc. These are all methods that our Small Group Leaders have tried and had a lot of success with. Try it!

// AS A SMALL GROUP LEADER, THERE ARE 7 THINGS YOU'LL NEED TO KEEP IN MIND. FOCUS ON THESE 7 ESSENTIALS AND YOU'LL BE GOOD TO GO!

01

// IT'S A JOURNEY Your role in your students lives can best be described as a marathon, not a sprint. It takes time to develop relationships, trust and influence with students. It doesn't happen automatically. It requires an investment of your time, love and effort. That's why we ask leaders to commit to a year with their students - your relationships become stronger the more time you have together, resulting in valuable influence in their lives for years to come.

02

// FACILITATE CONVERSATIONS You are a facilitator not a lecturer. You are primarily a facilitator of Bible-based discussion. So allow your students to do the talking in small group time. Instead of TELLING how to apply the message, ASK the kind of questions that allows them to discover truth and practical application for themselves. Students want to be listened to and understood - so in small groups, let them do the talking. You do the listening and facilitating.

03 // FOCUS ON FAITH Attending church is just the beginning of spiritual growth. We continue to grow by spending daily quiet time with God, telling others about Him and giving back to God through service. That's why you're so important to a student's spiritual growth. We need you to help your students learn and practice spiritual disciplines because what happens in their everyday lives is vital to what they learn. You can help your students develop faith that is walked out in their daily lives.

04 // BUILD RELATIONSHIPS 20-30 minutes a week is not enough time to build relationships with your students. Not even close. In order to develop relationships, you'll need to invest some time and effort outside of small groups. Bare minimum, a Small Group Leader should be connecting with students and/or parents once a week, have 3 or 4 hangouts each year and do what you can to be present and involved in important days or experiences in their lives.

05

//PARTNER WITH PARENTS Always remember that parents are not only the greatest influence in a student's life naturally, but they are also the biblical authority in that student's life as well. No matter what you think of your student's parents, it's your job to encourage the relationship between students and their parents. Even though you can play a big part, you aren't responsible for your students' spiritual growth - their parents are. So in everything you do with your students, keep their parents involved and informed. Build relationships with them. Make sure they know who you are and why you want to invest in their student's life. Enlist their help and advice when planning small group hangouts. The ultimate goal is to invest in the student and their family in such a way that not only does the student encounter life change, but their entire family, as well. Leverage every opportunity.

06 // STAY IN BOUNDS Small Group Leaders have a special and unique role in the body of Christ. You're not just a warm body filling a need you're doing valuable ministry! You are in a role that requires you to get pretty involved in students' lives. It's absolutely essential for you to practice healthy boundaries - for the safety of both you and your students. Always maintain appropriate boundaries physically, emotionally and relationally. If you have any questions or concerns about what may or may not be appropriate, just let us know. We'll help you navigate through those scenarios.

07 // FILL UP FIRST This is probably the most important of the 7 Essentials. As a small group leader, you MUST be in a growing, dynamic relationship with Christ. We don't expect you to be perfect or to have it all together, but in order to pour into students' lives you must first allow Jesus to fill you up. You know those spiritual disciplines? Well, they apply to more than just students!

// BEST PRACTICES FOR THOSE WHO LOVE LISTS, OR NEED SOME

DIRECTION ON THINGS YOU CAN CONSISTENTLY DO AS A

LEADER.

Pray for your small group members by name. Pray for the Lord to lead you to your 3 or pray how you can lead your

3 that week,

// WEEKLY

Let God's Spirit lead you during your Small Group time. Seek out the 1 student in your group who needs extra love/care each

week. Be prepared for your Small Group. Direct students towards possible next steps/opportunities.

Reach out to your FUSE Staff about your small group. Give them

an update on students, ask questions, and tell stories of what

God is doing. Check-in with your 3 outside of regular small group time on

Wednesdays.


// MONTHLY

Think through what students you haven't seen in a small group

in a while and reach out to them. Try to contact anyone who has

missed two weeks or more. Reach out to a few parents to talk about their students. Where

have you seen them grow? What have they seen going on in your students' lives and how can you help? What do you see as

the next step for them? How can you be praying for their family?

// QUARTERLY

Write a card or letter to each of your students. Do some sort of fun group activity outside of your normal small group time.

// So it's Wednesday, it's time for youth group. Every element of your Small Group time must be thought through.

Depending on the group, a few of the elements may look very different, but here is a breakdown of the basic elements.

01

02

// DO NOT GROW TIRED OF DOING GOOD

// CONNECT WITH STUDENTS

Galatians 6:9 says "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." When (not if) you have a bad night, don't be discouraged. There is not a group leader in the world that hasn't had bad nights and rough seasons while leading. Most of the time we have to wade through dark valleys before our students have mountain top moments that will change their relationship with God for the rest of their life. You are called to this so your actions have PURPOSE no matter how you feel, God is working through you. When you feel overwhelmed, reach out to FUSE Captains. They're here to love and support you #bettertogether

03

Remember one purpose of a small group is connection. Every leader must be aware that this is a part of the planned ministry of the night. Be sure every student is connecting to someone. Personally get to know your students better and meet every new student. Have fun. Many times spiritual battles are won later because of a connection.

04

// ICEBREAKERS & GAMES

// ANNOUNCEMENTS/BIG EVENTS

These will promote a fun atmosphere and allow students to get to know each other. Plan these to involve every student. The types and amounts should be determined by the personality of the group. If you need ideas for icebreakers or games feel

Letting every student know what is happening at FUSE Student Ministry is just another way for them to connect with each other. Tell them what is going on and then encourage them to go to an event with a friend. Challenge your whole group to attend a camp and

free to contact other small group leaders or FUSE Staff.

Winter Conference together. There's nothing better for community than shared experiences with God.

05

06

// FACILITATE CONVERSATIONS WELL

// PRAY TOGETHER

The aim of the group is to lead a discussion, not give a

End the discussion by praying together. Think this

sermon. The talk should consist of scriptures and lots of open-ended questions, not questions that can be

through ahead of time. Plan on you, another leader or a student to creatively lead this time (see page 52 for

answered with a simple "yes" or "no". Your job is not to get through the lesson plan, it's to facilitate a conversation. (see page 10 - 'HOW TO FACILITATE

'CREATIVE PRAYER IDEAS').

CONVERSATIONS WELL')

07

08

// HANGOUT TOGETHER

// SIT IN CIRCLES NOT ROWS

Doors open at 6:30, providing a great chance for you to hangout with your students in a causal setting. Additionally, for our older students, you can setup hangouts at local eating places after FUSE. These allow you to take advantage of personal ministry moments to invest in students.

Before the group starts make sure that you are sitting in a circle and not rows. Remember, we are not teachers giving a lesson, we are leaders facilitating a conversation.

09 // ESTABLISH CLEAR BOUNDARIES & GUIDELINES WITH YOUR STUDENTS

What are the house rules for your group? What is expected of each group member? What is the format for each small group time?

10 // HANDLE DISRUPTIONS IMMEDIATELY 1. 2. 3. 4.

Don't let a student drive you to anger. Address inappropriate behavior - don't let it get out of hand. Talk to students calmly when in the group. Take student to the side if they continue to be disruptive in the group. 5. Follow up with that student before or after the group. Any time you have to do this please make FUSE Staff aware ASAP. 6. Communicate with FUSE Staff as you lead an ongoing issue.

7. FUSE Staff will communicate with parents if the problem persists. 8. If it comes to it, FUSE Staff will formulate a plan to address the situation.

11 // CREATE AN ENGAGING ATMOSPHERE Make students turn off or put away any media elements (phone, music, video games, etc.). If there are more than 10 people then make multiple circles of discussion so every student can be involved in the discussion. Sit on the same level as your students unless they are being disruptive then stand. Try to include everyone in the group! Sit in a circle and not a row.

HOT

TOPICS // IN THIS SECTION WE'LL GO THROUGH A SERIES OF

SITUATIONS THAT MAY COME UP AND HOW YOU CAN

RESPOND ON THE SPOT. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS

OR NEED HELP, WE WOULD LOVE TO BE THERE WITH

YOU! CONTACT FUSE STAFF OR EMAIL US AT

[email protected]

//LGBTQIA+ We know that Jesus loves all people and we preach this with our lives through actions. Yet, somehow over the last handful of decades, the perception of Christ-followers on this topic is one of hate and exclusion. So, this guide will give some direction for defining the terms in the conversation, some tips on disagreeing in a true but loving way, resources that you can get to learn more, and we'll end on Biblical terms. We won't be able to cover every scenario or every detail, but this is a simple framework that can give you something to build off of when this conversation comes up! First off, let's define the letters. The acronym is most commonly used without the 'I* or 'A, LGBTQ+. And the meaning of each letter can change depending on who is using it. But here is the definition of the full acronym, LGBTOIA+: L- Lesbian G - Gay B - Bisexual T - Transgender Q - Queer/non-straight or Questioning I - Intersex A - Asexual or Ally + The * sign is used to indicate everyone else that aligns with the group. This includes the term, non-binary: meaning they claim a sexual orientation.

//RULES FOR RESPONDING 1. Don't freak out. Bill Henson in his book

Another Bill Henson quote says, "It

Guiding Families of LGBTQ+ Loved Ones

seems

says that your response is critical! "It will

unhealthy fear that we are condoning

determine the difference between safety or

and enabling, if we fail in our duty before

fear, peace or anxiety, secure love or sense

God to let LGBTQ+ folks know that they

of rejection." If your response is shock, vivid

are living a sinful lifestyle. We can't honor

concern, terror, anxiety, and if they see that,

God with all the truth in the world if the

you'll be labeled as
 not safe. You are one of

ground remains uneven at the foot of

the biggest and best sources to influence

the cross. Honoring God is more than

their life, so be careful not to shut a door by

telling others that they are living in sin.

freaking out. Breathe.
 Say to yourself,

Nourshing faith identity in others starts

"don't freak out. Just breathe."

by bringing Jesus in us to people where

many

Christians

carry

an

they are, as they are. We learn their story. Pray for the right words. When telling the

We build relational trust. We serve. We

disciples that they would be in situations

care. And along the way, we can share

where they would not know what to say,

Scriptures that meet them where they

Jesus said in Luke 12:12 "The Holy Spirit will

are in the needs, struggles, and joys they

give you the words to say at the moment

experience."

when you need them." Pray for the right words to come from the Holy Spirit! You

Be careful to avoid positioning God

can even say, "Before we talk about this, I'd

against the student's identity. Be careful

love to pray that we would hear from Jesus

not to weaponize God's Word. This will

while we talk. Let's pray for 10 seconds."

cause more drifting from Jesus than to help them encounter His truth.
 Instead,

Thank them. Thanking someone for being

take them to Psalm 91 or Psalm 23 to

honest with you does not mean you are

nourish a holistic approach to their faith

condoning what they did or said, but it

identity.

does help to foster an environment for your students to see you as a safe place to

Quick Hitters:

process. Say, "First off, thank you for asking

Suggest dialogue but do not force it.

me, I am honored that you want to know

Ask thoughtful questions and listen

what Jesus says about LGBTQ+ people."

well

Say, "I appreciate that you trust me enough

Respond to differences in belief with

to be open with me about your feelings. I

respect.

am so thankful that you recognize I can be

Avoid hurtful labels or accusations.

trusted to always care for you."

//LGBTQ - Q&A Now, we'll look over common questions as they may be phrased to you and a responses that you can use and tweak: Question: "Does God love gay people?" Answer: "Of course God loves gay people. Jesus died for people with gay feelings just like he died for everyone else. Are you asking if he loves them or if he is okay with their actions?" Question: "Why do Christions hate trans people?" Answer: "Christians don't hate trans people. There are people out there who think it is ok to tell the truth out of anger. When you look at the way Jesus lived his life He always spoke truth with love. We need to forgive the people who just want to argue or shame people in the LGBTQ+ community and show all people that Jesus loves all people, first and foremost. If we love them, then maybe they will be open to what God's Word has to say. Where did that question pop in your head from? Just thinking about it?" Question: "Does our church/Genesis Metro affirm LGBTQ+ people?" Answer: "First, we believe that two people can disagree and still deeply care about each other. We see Jesus saying in Scripture (Matthew 19) that marriage is meant between one man and one woman forever. Again this is not out of hatred for those in the LGBTQ+ community. We use Scripture as our guide and lens to show us what leads us closer to Jesus and Scripture is clear on this topic." Question: "Does being gay send you to hell?" Answer: "Good question, thank you for asking me! Being gay or straight does not answer that question. The Bible is pretty clear that if we believe in Jesus as Lord and Savior then we are saved. Bottom line - end of story. The Bible then goes on to say that we have to continue to walk out our belief in Jesus. For every person that means that we have to come before Him continually and ask if our actions line up with our beliefs. The Bible states that we need to continually be in a mode of evaluating our actions to make sure they honor Christ. Every person must continually ask, "Is my sexual expression honoring Christ's guidance?" Question: "'I've thought a lot about this and I know that I am bi/trans/gay. Do you still love me?" Answer: (Breathe. Don't freak out.) "I will always love you and thank you for being vulnerable with me. That means a lot. You mean the world to me. All I ask is that you keep including me and always include Jesus in who you are as you keep processing and learning who He made you to be. You know you can always count on me (us) to support you when things are tough or you are processing something?" Question: "What about the people in the OT that have multiple wives? Why was God okay with that?" Answer: "That is a great question and not one that many people think about! Both Jesus and all of Scripture approve of no other sexual union than that between a husband and wife forever. Yes, concubines and multiple wives are found in the Bible, but doesn't make them "biblical." In fact, they go against the Genesis narrative Christ points us to in Mark 10." Question: "I'm trans, does God hate me and am I going to hell?" Answer. "Wow, what a tough question. I can tell you've been thinking about it a lot. I don't think your feelings alone separate you from Jesus. You are not a body. I am not a body. We are souls that are inside of a body. As a result of beir in a body, we will have different feelings. Having sexual feelings alone does not equal sexual sin. The bigger question have you given your feelings to Jesus and filtered them through His Word? At the core of who you are, have you given yourself fully to Jesus, and are you trying your best to follow his guidance?" Question: "Doesn't the Bible say not to judge people? Then why should we judge LGBTQ+ people?" Answer: "You're referencing when Jesus said that in Matthew 7, and I agree. As Christians we have to filter everything through God's Word. We can't harshly judge people, that's not what God's Word tells us to do. Instead, we know that we're supposed to lovingly help other Christians be accountable to scripture. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 5:9-12 that Christians can't hold non-Christians to the same standard. That is judging outsiders. But if someone says they are a Christ-follower then one of our roles is to help each other stay accountable to God's Word (Ephesians 4:25, Hebrews 13:17-18, James 5:19-20)." Question:"My mom has a wife, so my dad brings me to church. How does God view gay marriage? And what does the bible say about gay marriage and LGBTQ+ people?" Answer: Let's find out!!!

//LGBTQ - Continued // WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Keep emotions in check - Sexual orientation can be

.The OT definitely mentions homosexuality but they

an emotional topic to process. If we are not careful,

are often tough and straight to the point. While we

differences can also cause people to separate

want to keep that in mind, I believe the New

others into "them" groups opposed to "us" groups.


Testament says the same thing in a very similar way,

Our families are for each other, even if we disagree

but is often received better. So, focus on using NT

with

scripture!

emotionally translated as an attack, don't freak out.

.Matthew 19:4-6 & Mark 10:6-9 - Jesus discusses

Don't make it easy for someone to put you in a

marriage in the context of their time and talks about

"them vs us" box.

each

other.

Raised

emotions

can

be

HOW God created marriage to be. 1 man and 1 woman and Jesus goes even further by mentioning that sex

//Find and mention common ground

binds two souls together into one.

In her TED Talk on debate, Julia Dhar says, "...the

Romans 1:18-32 - Paul shows that the whole world is

way to reach people is by finding common

unrighteous compared to God, and therefore needs

ground." We have to intentionally find places to use

salvation. He zeroes in on the Gentile world, describing

the phrase "I agree that" or "I can see how that can

how it has turned away from God and embraced

make sense."

idolatry. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - In this chapter, Paul talks directly

Finding common ground can look like:

about

many

"I agree that Christians should love LGBTQ+ people.

different sin/behaviors that are unrighteous in these

No one is going to see who Jesus is if we don't act

two specific verses making sure to add homosexuality

like Jesus would."


to it. Biblical scholar David Guzik points out to Paul's

"I can see how you would see it that way."


usage of two words malakoi (homosexuals, which

"I can tell you've thought about this."

literally refers to male prostitutes) and arsenokoitai (or

"I can tell that you have been thinking about this."

sexual

immorality.

Paul

addresses

sodomites, a generic term for all homosexual practice) as being evidence that homosexuality is not a Christ

Probe a disagreement with questions

honoring sexual expression.

Questions are usually a better use of rebuttal than

1 Timothy 1:8-10 - In this instance, Paul is talking

spitting out our thoughts.

specifically about men who have sex with men. They

Ask them,

do not conform to the life Christians are called to live.

"Where did you learn that?"

Instead, they go against the grain of the new identity

"How do you see it differently?"

we have in Christ by trying to forge a different identity

"What brought you to this conclusion?"

with their actions. // RESOURCES YOU CAN BUY TO KEEP LEARNING: //IF THEY DISAGREE

Guiding Families of LGBT Loved Ones by Bill

What do we do when there is pushback and rebuttals?

Henson

How can we avoid letting this conversation become a

A People to be Loved by Preston Sprinkle

wedge in the relationship?

Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry

Be respectful and not dismissal - We cannot act

Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality by Jim

quickly to dismiss our students as ignorant or be too

Burns

harsh when responding to their rebuttals.

Transforming Homosexuality by Denny Burk &

If we do, it will close them off and truth cannot walk

Heath Lambert

through a closed door.

Sexuality by Bruce B Miller

//PORN "What if my student(s) tells me they're looking at porn?" Porn is not only a boy issue, it's a people issue. 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to pornography before 18. 14% of boys and 9% of girls are exposed to pornography before 13. So how can we help break this damaging habit?

// A STEP BY STEP PROCESS TO HELP OUR STUDENT BE FREE OF PORN

Acknowledge their vulnerability. It's a very brave thing to open up to someone about your shortcomings. This type of issue is extremely nerve racking! So, before you pray or help them with strategies, encourage them that they are doing a good thing opening up to you. Say, "thank you for trusting me and having courage to be vulnerable."

Ask them some questions. This conversation isn't going to be easy or comfortable so just know that and move forward. Ask them how they get to it. Ask them how often they look at it. Remind them of who they are by saying, "I know this isn't the person you want to be, that's why you talked to me in the first place."

Create an Accountability Plan The Blockade app., covenant eyes, and X3Watch are good resources to use or you can help them set up restrictions on their phone. Commit to this fight with them, because if it's only them then when they are weak they'll go back to it. Set up an attack plan to make it harder to get to porn. Then connect with their parents, which leads to the next point...

Encourage them to talk with their parent(s)/guardian(s). We've done this with a lot of young boys and girls. Ask them easy questions; "I know this isn't who you want to be, right? And you want to win this fight, right? Then there's something you HAVE to do that you don't want to..." They will ask what it is and you'll say, "either you talk to your parents about this or I have to. I care more about your soul than you feeling uncomfortable. And I know you care about that too, right?" They might get mad at you, but remind them that you have their best intentions in mind. Please, talk with a Staff person before you reach out to their parents.

Encourage them and then pray. James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." Remind them that confession leads to healing! There is no shame in confession and can lead to freedom from porn. Pray for them out loud and then have them pray out loud. Have them declare with their words that that's not who they are going to be. Pray for them to be closer to God. And again, commit to walking through this together.

//SUICIDE IF A STUDENT EVER MAKES ANY SORT OF INDICATION LIKE THEY MAY BE THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE, LET A FUSE STUDENT PASTOR KNOW IMMEDIATELY. WHAT TO DO:

WHAT NOT TO SAY:

Ask the student directly, "Are you thinking

"Sure, I promise not to tell anyone."

about committing suicide? It is important

"Suicide is a sin."

that you ask this question outright.

"You'll go to Hell if you do it."

Stay calm. Be aware of your face. Don't freak

"You're being really selfish."

out.

"It's not that bad."

Ask them if they thought through how they

"Stay positive"

would kill themself. Studies show if they

"I know you feel..."

wrote a plan out then they are on the brink of attempting.

WHAT TO SAY:

Take the problem seriously and express your

Above what you need to say, LISTEN.

concern.

"Let us be hopeful for you until you're

Listen WAY more than you talk. They need

ready to be hopeful again."

to be heard more than they need to be

"You don't have to carry this alone."

'fixed.'

"I am so sorry you're feeling this way,

If you are not with the student and you think

hope you know that you so loved."

they are close to attempting:

(proceed to list people that you know love

Get help immediately no matter when or

I

and care about them).

where you are. Call a Staff member 3 times if they do not answer.

ASK:

If you think the student is close to

"Do your parents know what has been

attempting, and you can't get a hold of a

going on?"

Staff

"Have you written out a plan? And if so,

member

then

call

their

parent/guardian(s).

what is it?"

If you cannot get a hold of a Staff

"How long have you been thinking about

member or a parent/guardian, then call

taking your life?"

911 and give the students location if you

"When did all this start?"

know it.

"Can we pray right now?" "How can I help you?"

//ABUSE:

Physical/Emotional/Verbal/Sexual A STAFF PERSON MUST BE TOLD IMMEDIATELY IF THE STUDENT MAKES ANY REFERENCE TO BEING ABUSED BY A PARENT OR GUARDIAN. You may be the first person to hear about the abuse. It's important that you take seriously what the student is saying and commend the student for being brave and telling you about it. Survivors of abuse often keep secrets in order to get through it all. Telling an adult takes a tremendous amount of courage. "It's not your fault" - one of the most important things you can do is to assure the student that the abuse is not his or her fault. This idea can be challenging for abused teenagers to accept. You will probably need to continue reminding your student of this as he or she continues healing. Reporting - The law requires counselors to report abuse. As a youth worker, it's in the best interest of the student for you to immediatelv act on and report any suspicion of abuse. Your Staff knows our church's reporting policies. It's not your job to investigate it, but it is your job to report it to us.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: "I'm not going to tell anyone." "God was right there with you, right by your side, weeping and feeling your pain." "Everything happens for a reason." "Just remember, there is always someone out there who has it worse than you do." WHAT TO SAY: "It wasn't your fault." "You don't deserve that." "I care about you so much." "Can we pray together?" "I can't fix it, but I'm here with you." Admit you don't have all the answers and simply be there for the student...even in total silence.

//SEXUAL ACTIVITY

When sex and sexual activity comes up, we need to be ready to talk to parents about this. It may seem like a breach of trust. But, it would be worse for us to know about sexual activity that is harmful and not do anything. So, what do you do? 1. Listen - We can't over-emphasize the importance

WHAT NOT TO SAY:

of listening. Do not go into "fix it" mode; just listen

"You're a slut/manwhore." This is obvious but

to their story. A time will come to dealing with the

let's be really clear- do not label them in any

issue, but not yet.

way that ties their unwise actions to their

2. Dig Deeper - The student may need a gentle push

identity.

along the way. You can help make it easier by

• "Well, you know what the Bible says about

offering some open-ended statements like, "Tell

purity..." It's pretty unlikely they did what they

me about how this started," or "Tell me about how

did because they were confused on what the

you felt when that was happening."

Bible says and would have done something

3. Remind them of Identity - Focus on WHO they are

differently if they had understood that one

and WHO God says they are as you encourage

verse. There is a place for that, but sometimes

them. Pray scripture over them like: 2 Corinthians

they just need to be heard.

6:18, Romans 8:37, Hebrews 10:10. 4. Be Understanding - Don't let them feel weird or shame-filled. 5. Be Open - Be wise about the details, but share with

SAY THINGS LIKE: "Did you plan this or was it something you decided in the moment?" The answer to this

them that you are not perfect and have made

question can help shape your discussion.

mistakes too.

"What are you missing in your life?" This is a

6. Share Values, But Don't Force Them - We believe

good conversation opener to figure out what

that sexual activity out of marriage is sinful, but

they are missing and why they are trying to fill

condemning our students isn't the right approach.

the void with sexual intimacy.

What you can do is calmly, lovingly say why

"You are God's child." Everyone needs to be

Christian values are best for a person emotionally,

reminded of their identity.

physically, and spiritually.

"What will you do differently next time?" Help

7. Talk with Staff and then Parents - First, talk to a

them with a game plan on how to avoid it next

Staff member about the conversation. Just like the

time. Accountability is huge here, help them

issue of porn, we need to include parents in the

make a plan just like we did with the topic of

conversation about sexual activity. Give students 2

porn.

days to talk to their parents before we bring the

"This doesn't change the way I look at you, or

conversation to them. They may be mad at you, but

how much | love you." Them coming to you was

protecting their heart and including parents will

very difficult and they may feel like now that it

benefit our students more in the long run versus

is out in the open, you are just as ashamed of

keeping from the most important people in their

them as they are of themselves.

lives, their parents.

//ADDICTION:

In general, addiction can be present when an individual is dependent on something and cannot resist the temptation to partake in an unhealthy coping mechanism. It often includes alcohol, drugs, pornography or sex, tobacco, etc. So, how can we help a recovering addict? 1. Accept them without judgment - Since many recovering addicts feel judged by their families and friends, you should refrain from criticism and negativity as much as possible. 2. Create a substance-free environment - This is where talking with their family comes in since we do not live with them. But, one of the biggest predictors of long-term recovery is whether or not users live in drug-free environments. 3. Actively listen - Some recovering addicts need people to listen to them, so be available to listen to your student's victories and struggles. 4. Encourage healthy habits - Cooking food, exercising and playing games are all positive, substance-free activities that recovering addicts can do with the right people. 5. Be patient - Recovery is a long and complicated process. People often make mistakes in recovery, so it's important for them to know that their family and friends still support them when they mess up.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: "Addiction is a spiritual disease; you must not be right with God." "You know what you're doing is illegal, right?" "I'm ashamed that you would do something like that." "You have hit rock bottom." "You can never change." WHAT TO SAY: "I care about you." "We are praying for you." "This situation is not too big for God." "You're never too far gone.

//SELF-HARM:

Repetitive but non-lethal injury. Remember that external pain is a sign of internal pain; there is a much deeper and more emotional pain at play.

CUTTING- Signs can be numerous: bracelets on wrist, always wearing long sleeves, scratched skin, or cuts on the upper leg are the most common. EATING DISORDER - These often result from teenagers needing to feel an element of control over their circumstances. Body image also plays a critical role. Adolescents' bodies are changing rapidly and they compare themselves with their peers.

HOW TO HANDLE IT: Thank them for trusting you. Listen carefully to understand where they are coming from and how best to address the issue to them. Help your student identify triggers to figure out when he or she engages in the behaviors. Establish relationships with your students that will allow for open communication about destructive behaviors. Encourage the student to talk to a parent. Pray for them on the spot. Fill in a Staff member ASAP. WHAT NOT TO SAY: "I won't tell anyone" or "This will stay just between you and me." "Yeah, I was wondering if something was going on...you haven't looked too good lately..."

//BULLYING

Bullying has a great deal to do with anger and entitlement. Despite the old cliches about low self-esteem, research shows that bullies tend to have a relatively high opinion of themselves. BULLIES: 7-13% of students are bullies but are not bullied themselves; they: typically have an inflated opinion of themselves enjoy a high social status experience high levels of avoidance by peers want to be the center of attention have trouble taking criticism are more likely to abuse alcohol and other drugs are at greater risk of being victimized themselves (about half become victims at some point) are more likely to express conduct disorder, attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder, and other mental health problems are more likely to carry a weapon in and out of school (43.1 percent and 52.2 percent) are more likely to fight frequently and be injured in fights (38.7 percent and 45.7 percent) are more likely to display antisocial and criminal behavior in adulthood VICTIMS: About 10% of children attending school are bullied but don't bully others. Compared to non-victims, bullying victims: are at greater risk for physical and mental helath problems such as stomachaches, headaches, and depression miss school more frequently because of fear experience higher levels of anxiety into adulthood struggle with feelings of low self-worth express high levels of depression, social anxiety, and loneliness experience high levels of avoidance by peers have low social status have few friends (it's unclear whether they tend to be victims because they have few friends or have few friends because they're victims)

WHAT NOT TO SAY:

WHAT TO SAY/ASK:

"Be tougher next time."

"I am so sorry."

"That's not so bad, when I was in school..."

"Who have you talked to already?"

"It'll stop eventually."

"When do they pick on you?" "How far has it gone?"

//DEPRESSION/ //LONELINESS:

Depression is a dark and oppressive mood problem that can feel unbearable to the student suffering from it.

WAYS TO APPROACH THE TOPIC: Take the student seriously. Don't minimize the situation. You can validate your student's emotions by expressing understanding and care. Encourage them to get a consistent bedtime and eating schedule. Be non-judgmental. People with depression judge themselves everyday. The last thing they need is a leader to do the same to them. People suffering depression usually isolate themselves - don't let that happen. Communicate patience and grace. Challenge faulty thinking and create positive affirmations. Contact a Staff member to fill them in.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: "You'll snap out of it..." "Just think positive." "Don't be so sad. Nothing is all that bad"

SAY THINGS LIKE: "How can I best support you right now?" "You're not alone." "I'm here for you."

WHAT TO DO WHEN... Here are common questions and scenarios that all FUSE small group leaders should know:

01 // I WILL BE UNABLE TO ATTEND ONE WEEK. Please let FUSE Staff, Captains and your co-leaders know as soon as possible when you are unable to make it. Update Planning Center accordingly.

02 // A STUDENT INFORMS ME THEY ARE BEING ABUSED, SUICIDAL, SELF-HARMING, HAVE AN EATING DISORDER OR ARE IN ANY PHYSICAL DANGER Follow up with students in a setting other than the small group and get as much information as possible about what's going on. Make sure that the student understands that we may have to report what they are telling us. We cannot legally keep suicide or abuse a secret. Immediately notify a Staff member, even if it is at 3 in the morning. So, if we are able to include you, you will be in the conversations with the students. You will be a big part of the follow through process. They trusted you enough to tell you, so you will be a big part of them healing through this process. FUSE Staff members are here to help you in all situations with your students whether it is divorce in the family, depression, cutting, alcohol, etc.

03

// A STUDENT DOES NOT HAVE A BIBLE Great question to ask is, "Do you have a Bible at home that you can read?" If they say, "No," then you can let FUSE Staff or FUSE Captains know and they will get the student a Bible. Please remember these are for students who do not have one or cannot afford to get one.

04

//A STUDENT IS DISRUPTING A MESSAGE OR WORSHIP TIME (DISCIPLINE/BEHAVIOR CONTROLS) The best way to ensure a quality experience for all students is to prevent problems before they occur. Know that you do have the responsibility and authority to take action as a leader in FUSE Student Ministry. Here are steps to take if they are needed: Step 1: Sit with your students during the whole service and not in the back of the room. Step 2: Discretely confront students who are disruptive in your immediate area. Don't be a hammer the first time, but if this is consistent behavior from an individual then do not be light about it. Step 3: The second time, be more authoritative and mention that if they keep disrupting then you'll need to talk with them in the lobby. If it comes to that, involve a FUSE Captain or another small group leader in the conversation with the student. Step 4: If you have a relationship with the student you are free to speak with them after service personally about their disruptive behavior. In the event that you do not have a relationship with the student, bring the issue to their small group leader, FUSE Captain or FUSE Staff. Step 5: If the issue persists then a FUSE Staff member will need to contact parents, and come up with a plan of action to address the situation.

05 //A STUDENT WANTS TO ACCEPT CHRIST Here is a simple guide you can use to walk a student through the process of accepting Christ: A - Admit your sins and ask for forgiveness. B - Believe in Jesus. C - Choose to follow Jesus the rest of your life.

06

// I DISAGREE WITH ANOTHER VOLUNTEER Let a FUSE Staff member know about the situation and gain wisdom from their perspective. Evaluate, "is this an issue with them? Or an issue with myself?" before you talk to them. Go and talk to them. More than likely they are unaware that what they said or did offended or affected anyone. Give them the benefit of the doubt. "You probably don't mean to come off this way, and I could be way off here." Approach them with an attitude of grace and try to understand why they did it and help them understand how it affected you. You can't control how they respond, but do control how you present your disagreement/issue.

07 // I DISAGREE WITH STAFF LEADERSHIP/PRACTICES OR SOMETHING I HEARD IN A MESSAGE Go and talk to them directly. More than likely they are unaware that what they said or did offended or affected anyone. Please approach them with an attitude of grace and try to understand why they did it or said it, and help them understand how it affected you. Please confront the issue as soon as possible. The enemy wants to do nothing more than cause division and conflict so let's keep short accounts. Please avoid gossiping and remember that the problem could simply be a miscommunication or a misunderstood action. Let's work together as a group to show grace and encourage one another.

08 // IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY FIRE ALARM All activity must stop at once. Leaders help students remain calm as you help them exit the building. Make sure all students have exited the building and have been moved to a safe environment. All students need to have been accounted for upon exit. Stay with the students at all times and be prepared to return them to the building in case of a false alarm. Be sure to be aware of all emergency exits. TORNADO/EXTREME WEATHER In the event of extreme weather, FUSE Staff will monitor impending weather conditions and communicate any emergency measure to leaders and students. Seek to always keep students calm and under control in all situations. If preventative safety measures are warranted, seek out the nearest Staff member for instructions. Communicate the directive immediately to the students and remain with them at all times. ACCIDENTS/INJURIES Alert a Staff member/monitor team member immediately. All accidents or injuries that occur at Genesis Metro must be documented with an accident report. It is the responsibility of the Staff/monitor team to complete the report, but any witnesses should give a verbal report. If there is a minor injury that does not require immediate medical attention, please escort the student to the designated office or area for first aid.

09

// I THINK STAFF SHOULD GET INVOLVED Here are some examples of times to talk with a Staff member: Self harm Suicidal thoughts Parents getting divorced Death in the family Abuse In cases where the issue is ongoing-for example, bullying, addiction, or pornography.

//FIRST TIME

GUEST //How we welcome First Time Guests (FTG) is crucial for any small group to grow. When a

new student comes they need to feel comfortable, welcomed, and be followed up with by a

small group leader. Here are some ways to follow up that you may find useful and will make a

student feel loved. People won't always remember what you say, but they will always

remember how you make them feel. //STAFF AND CONNECTIONS VOLUNTEERS FOLLOW UP WITH EVERY FTG IN A FEW WAYS: 1. Don't say "visitor" or "visiting." We want to be intentional with our words here. Instead say, "guest" or "new member. This small tweak will help us see First Time Guests as a guest who we want to come back. 2. When a FTG comes, a connections volunteer or a Staff member will introduce you in the lobby before service. We're going to use the name Mark for the FIG in our examples. 3. When you meet them before service; a. Welcome them by saying something like, "Hey welcome! What's your name? Mark, I'm excited you are with us tonight. Did you come with someone that invited you?" b. When you meet them in the lobby, also ask what school they go to and how they heard of FUSE. This way you can introduce them to the small group later without putting them on the spot and feeling uncomfortable. c. If a student came by themselves, introduce the FTG to a couple of your friendliest students and invite the new student to sit with you and your friendliest students already in your group. d. If they came with someone, still introduce them to other students in your group but let them hangout with the people they came with during service. e. Talk to one student before small groups to make sure that someone their age is intentionally including them in groups as well. 4. When it's time for small groups; a. Look for them before walking to your small group location. b. When you get to small groups introduce them by saying something like, i. Everyone, before we get started we have a brand new member with our group tonight, Mark. Mark goes to Liberty High School and his family just moved here from California so they are checking out churches around here. Lucky for him, he just found the best small group in Frisco, right?? Welcome to the group, Mark!" c. Don't go to them first with questions, but include them in the small group discussion. d. Don't have them pray out loud at the end unless they volunteer. e. If a student in your small group invited them, make that a big deal in front of your small group. Remember, what gets celebrated gets repeated. f. When small group ends, take a moment and reiterate how glad you are that they are in your group

//FOLLOWING UP WITH A NEW STUDENT If the student does not drive yet , do your best to meet their parents when they get picked up for the night. Since so many students come with friends we know this isn't always possible. However, it is great when it is able to happen. You can walk out to the car with the First Time Guest. If the student has a phone, exchange phone numbers with the student and send them a quick text later (not too late) letting them know you are so glad they were at FUSE. Remind them about FUSE the following week (maybe even bring a dozen cookies to share as a celebration of them being there for a second time)! Meet them where they are. If they don't have a phone or social media, try to exchange information with parents so there is still a form of communication there. You can also ask a Staff member for the student's parent information.

//TECHNOLOGY EXPECTATIONS

//COMING SOON!

// GROUPME

// PLANNING CENTER

//TECHNOLOGY EXPECTATIONS

//COMING SOON!

// GROUPME

// PLANNING CENTER

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